Unknown (23 page)

Slowly
the sun edged upward to herald a new day and once more Katriona witnessed the glory of another sunrise. She could hardly believe that half her allotted month had gone. Not that she had a sunrise every day. One morning she had woken up to pounding rain on the roof and it had been marvellous to watch the drought-stricken land soak up the wetness, but after only two days rain it was fine and warm again and the parched earth was beginning to turn green in places. Snow coated the mountains of the Main Divide in the distance and winter was coming close.

Her father had not returned. He was disappointed, but some urgent business had come up and he had to spend another week in the North Island. Katriona wondered what was happening today, because there seemed to be sheep and lambs everywhere, wandering through the home paddocks and the yard paddock, up and down the lane and through the plantation, calling and running around, all the way down past Tay’s house and up on the hill. It must be going to be a busy day and she would enjoy that.

She had learned a lot since she had arrived. She knew all the people who worked on the station now. They often joined her on the step in the morning or later after work— all except Morgan. He gave the old schoolhouse a wide berth. The men told her stories of the station, tales of mustering, of the beginning of the deer farm, and of the wild deer and pigs which still roamed the hills. She saw them returning from shooting and hanging the carcases in the freezer, and saw the huge refrigerator trucks pull in to collect the game meat and take it through to the city.

There was the Forest Service truck going up the lane now; she gave them a cheerful wave. She knew they came each year to pick up the cones from the Scotch firs from the Frenchman’s Plantation. She knew that there was much excitement in Hanmer a week ago because someone had discovered the grave of the Countess de la Pasteur, the Frenchman’s
wife. So much she knew, yet so little. She even loved hearing the names of the neighbouring stations, Lochiel, Glen Hope, The Poplars, The Hossack, Island Hills, Glens of Tekoa and Molesworth and St Helen’s. Some of the men had worked on these other stations and could tell her about them. She could find most of them on the map in the study.

Driving the car had been a tremendous adventure, and Jeff had been really kind to her, and it had been fun. She told her father each night about the new things that she had seen and enjoyed, and the phone calls had got longer and longer as if he enjoyed talking with her too.

Elenor Price had invited her over to the cookhouse and she had gazed in wonder at the huge pots and pans and gasped in awe as she heard the amount of food twenty-eight men could consume daily. Of course that would be a rare occasion to have so many, but it did happen. And what happened in an emergency when the cook was sick? The other wives came to the rescue, Elenor told her. When the previous manager was there his wife used to take over. Katriona enjoyed the thought of Carla being married to Morgan and having to cope with that lot. And she did not share
that
thought with her father!

Amber had taken her to visit Hope Valley Station, and that had meant wading across the Hope River which was at its lowest for years because of the drought, and Katriona had been glad to walk upstream of the horse Jordan was riding to help her keep her balance in the swiftly flowing river. They could have waited for another day when one of the men was free to take them over by Land-Rover, but it had been a real adventure and Katriona had loved it, so had Jordan. And she now knew what it was to say ‘he’ll do to cross the river with’. She wished she had had her father’s arm or Morgan’s to lean on as she stumbled over the large slippery boulders.

But apart from two trips, out to the river faces and Wallis Block, she had seen very little except for round the station homestead. Those two trips, crowded between Morgan and Tay in the truck, had been tantalising glimpses of the huge scope of the station; the land seemed to spread out ahead of the truck like a bow wave ahead of a boat. She knew that until her father came home or until she had made her peace with Morgan, she was not going to learn much more. Morgan was so mean to her. He was denying her the knowledge she longed for. Or was she denying herself, because he had taken her at her word when she had flung at him that he could teach her nothing? He had offered so much and she had thrown it back in his face. What a fool! Yet in some ways it had been wise. If she had been with him constantly she would have given herself away. Angrily she headed back to the house, wondering what all the commotion was down at the yard, men and dogs and sheep still circling.

She was surprised to see Carla up and dressed talking to Morgan and Tay by the implement shed, and as she joined them Carla pointed at her.

‘Ask her if you don’t believe me. Katriona—you went for a walk up the lane last night after dark, didn’t you? Tell the men the route you took.’

Katriona caught Morgan’s angry gaze and even Tay seemed upset. 'Don’t be ridiculous, Carla! ’

Katriona knew she was being accused of something but said, ‘Yes, I went up the lane. I think I went through the Grandstand paddock into the Racecourse, and down through the home paddock. Has something gone wrong?’

Carla laughed in triumph. ‘Told you so! I told you Katriona had wandered around like a proper townie and left all the gates open. Don’t look so innocent. You just ruined two weeks work on the station and they’ll take another week to sort it out. Can I do anything to help, Morgan? Cancel the trucks ... I don’t mind helping.’

‘I did not leave any gates open!’ Katriona shouted. ‘I climbed over them, that’s how I know. How dare you accuse me!’

But Morgan walked away with Carla by his side, and Tay threw out his hands as he met her bewildered indignant stare.

‘Ah, I’m sure you didn’t, Katriona, but hell, what a mess! You’ve watched us muster and draft each day, and we’ve now got to go through the lot again. There were lambs in the lane, sale ewes in the top farm, lambs in my paddock, foot-rot ewes in the Racecourse, and the whole bloody lot are mixed up! ’

‘You don’t believe I would do such a thing, Tay?’ Katriona was appalled.

‘Nope. But why the hell did you go that way of all routes to take last night? Sorry, Katriona my love. I must apologise for swearing, but this is not funny.’

The jeep went past with Morgan in it, his face stem and set, and Carla by his side looking positively smug.

Katriona sat down to her breakfast, but it was only to please Nivvy who had it all prepared for her. She toyed with her cereal, then her toast, feeling miserable and upset. She knew in her own mind that Carla had followed her around last night and left the gates open, but how did you prove something like that?

Nivvy was angry too. ‘When Carla’s up at daybreak there has to be a sensational reason. Don’t you worry, Katriona, the truth will out about this one. I wish your father was coming home today. Sorry, I meant to tell you he’ll be held up for another couple of days. Perhaps Morgan told you. He was talking to him.’

Morgan had told her nothing. Morgan had not spoken to her. Usually he at least said good morning. Katriona’s heart plummeted downward. She had been counting so much on Ross’s return. If she could never know Morgan, there was a little hope that she could know her father, and he would teach her about Evangeline. ‘But, Nivvy, I’ve only got two weeks left! ’ she exclaimed.

‘Sorry, pet. I know how you feel. Still, that’s all the bad news. Good news coming up. Carla is leaving this morning.'

Katriona hardly heard her, she was so disappointed with the news of her father. Perhaps he really didn’t want to come home till she left. ‘Oh, Nivvy, what shall I do?’ she sighed.

‘Don’t know, Katriona. I wish I could help, really I do. It will be better when that one’s gone. She must think she’s queered your pitch sufficiently or she wouldn’t be going away. How about fooling her, and making it up with Morgan? You’ve got two weeks. I know he’s told the men he’ll show you the station when he’s ready.’

‘Blood and sand!’ It was an anguished wail. ‘That’s as good as telling them not to take me with them. I wondered why they’d stopped offering.’

' ’Fraid that’s the reason, pet.’ Nivvy looked worried as Katriona pushed her cup away and stalked out the door, then paced out to the gate and back. Katriona took no pleasure from the mountains, nor from the silver birch, nor from the roses. Anger was in every line and movement of her slender body as she came back into the room.

‘Who does he think he is? He doesn’t own this station. He’s only the manager! Isn’t he?’

Nivvy looked at her reproachfully. ‘Only the manager? Come along, Katriona, you must have some idea of the responsibility that goes with a position like that. Running Evangeline isn’t easy, you know. This place functions smoothly and efficiently only because Morgan has his finger on the pulse, and knows it from outside in. Why do you think your father chose him? Ross has often said to me he wouldn’t have a manager on the station who didn’t feel he owned the place. I mean, if the manager doesn’t love the place as his own, treat the stock as his own, and handle the money as his own, then he’s no good. Can’t you see that? And Morgan is a good manager, especially for Evangeline ..

‘I
hate
Morgan Grant! ’ Katriona burst out furiously.

Nivvy laughed. ‘That’s the stuff! A good healthy reaction. You’re Ross’s daughter all right—down sometimes, but not out. Ross learned to take his knocks on the chin and come back fighting. He had some pretty bitter medicine to take on his way through. He came up the hard way. His father was a shepherd here many many years ago, but he was crippled when a horse rolled on him and the family moved up to town. But the high country was in Ross and as soon as he was old enough he left the city and got a job up the McKenzie country, milking cows, doing the vegetable garden. That’s how he started, down there on the bottom rung. He was a tough young man and as soon as he got a few dogs about him and a bit of experience he moved from one big station to the next improving his position each time. He was strong and hard then, walking the tops, away at camps for weeks, days and nights on the hills, and his eyes always on Evangeline.’

Katriona stopped her pacing and was listening intently. This was the first time anyone had opened up to talk to her about Ross.

‘He became head shepherd here, then five years later was offered the manager’s position. He was a grand manager ... you can ask anyone around here ... he had a fantastic reputation. You know, he’d never looked at a girl... one of those loners, mostly in the company of men and happy that way. Then he met your mother. He fell like a ton of bricks for her and she played havoc with his life. After she crippled him in the accident, I helped nurse him. Do you know what. it did to a man who’d grown up in the high country to be told that he’d lie like a log in bed for the rest of his life, to be told that his wife had cleared out not waiting to hear if he would live or die? It puts iron in his soul ... that’s what it does.’

Katriona saw a tear slide down Nivvy’s cheek as she stared out across the yard, and Katriona knew that Nivvy loved Ross. That she had loved him for twenty years, or maybe longer.

‘Did you know my father well before he met my mother?’ Katriona asked softly.

‘Yes, I did, pet. We were close friends. I would have been as close to him as any woman ever got, until your mother came on the scene.’

Katriona sighed. Tay would say, chalk another one up to your mother ... one more casualty of her mother’s visit. Yet, Nivvy had been so very kind.

Nivvy cleared her throat after a long silence. ‘Well, Ross did not he in his bed for more than a year. He fought back. He got on his feet and kept going. He wasn’t fit for the high country any more, so he moved into the business world, and he learned how to make money, and he learned it well. He made a packet. He was hard and ruthless but honest, as straight as a die. And when he’d made enough, he bought Evangeline. Not too bad for a late starter.’

There was a world of pride in her voice as she turned to face Katriona. ‘Something else I’ll tell you about Ross Carmichael, he was no fool, but he did make the odd mistake. And when he did, he was a big enough man to recognise what he’d done and would set about righting it. He’d go straight in, clear away the trouble and forget it. You could learn a lot from your father. You can be proud to be his daughter.’

Katriona thrust her hands deep into, her jeans pockets, and walked out to the path without saying a word. She did not even notice that the yard was clear of sheep and that order had been restored. She did not wave to the men working in the sheepyards as she usually did. She just walked, not knowing where she was going, and her steps led towards the lane. Somehow the physical effort of climbing eased the pain in her heart a little. She did not notice the sunshine or hear the birds singing in the tall pines as she followed the gravel road higher and higher until she was clear above the homestead and buildings. She was blind and deaf to the beauty which surrounded her, until the sapphire blue of the tiny lake sparkling and glittering in the morning sunshine caught her eye. She turned off the lane and across the golden sun-scorched tussock until she reached the green bush-fringed edge and threw herself down.

Gold, green and blue, gold, green and blue—no wonder her father loved this countryside. She
was
proud to be his daughter ... daughter of Ross Carmichael. But she was also her mother’s child ... her mother, who had wrecked so many lives in such a short time. Suddenly Katriona was crying, sobbing as if her heart would break. How could she stay here? Her very presence was a reminder to them all of what her mother had done. She could not carry that load of guilt. She would leave today; What was a broken promise? They would expect that of her. She was her mother’s daughter, wasn’t she? Katriona knew that she had not hurt anyone, only herself.

She had not got close enough to anyone to hurt them. Her visit here would only cost Evangeline a new farm bike. That was a small price to pay to get rid of her. The tears stopped, but she still lay there, drained and exhausted.