Unknown (21 page)

'It looks more like an X-ray number than one from Theatres.' Luke checked the illuminated numerals along the top of her bleeper then indicated the telephone beside the bed. 'You'll have to dial one for an outside line then go through the hospital's switchboard.'

Hannah, sounding flustered, answered quickly. 'Dr Stuart, it's me,' she said in a rush. 'Don't worry, it's not Daisy. Last I heard from Theatres, her operation's going well.'

Annabel, feeling herself relaxing, shook her head quickly at Luke to reassure him about Daisy. 'What is it, Hannah?'

'One of Dr Solomon's post-heart-attack patients has gone into second-degree heart block and his heart rate's dropped to forty,' the registrar told her, referring to a problem where the heart's normal electrical conducting system was disrupted. 'I'm sorry to bother you about something so trivial but neither Mark nor I can get the pacing wire positioned properly. I've been trying almost an hour. I wondered if you could come in and take over for me?'

'I'll be there in ten minutes,' Annabel agreed. 'Where are you?'

'The first side room in main X-Ray,' the younger doctor told her. 'We'll be waiting. Thanks a lot.'

'I'll drive you.' Luke, obviously having grasped some of the urgency of the situation from her side of the conversation, reached for the telephone as soon as she set it down. 'Get dressed. I'll have the car brought around.'

'She said Daisy's doing fine.' Still clutching the quilt around her, Annabel slid off the bed, grabbed her bra and underwear from the floor where Luke had thrown them and hurried into the other room to get her dress. 'Luke, I can walk—' But he was already talking to someone on the telephone so she broke off and quickly dressed, then pulled on her white coat.

He emerged from the bedroom seconds later, looking calm and coolly athletic in sports-style pants, trainers and a grey sweatshirt. He opened the door and gestured for her to go ahead of him.

Annabel felt flushed and dishevelled and she avoided his eyes. Neither of them said anything on the way downstairs but once they were in the car and heading for the hospital she sent him a brief, guarded look. 'Luke...?' She clenched her fists in her lap. 'I think it's best we just forget—'

'Don't you dare, Annie.' He kept his eyes on the road but his words were impatient. 'Don't you
dare
tell me to forget tonight and start again tomorrow. You must know by now that never works.'

'Fine.' Annabel lowered her head, feeling sick because, of course that had been exactly what she'd been about to say. What she wanted was to try and forget tonight so they could start again another time afresh, but obviously he wasn't going to be able to put her abysmal performance out of his mind. Clearly, his desire for her had been temporary and not strong enough to survive the embarrassing mess she'd just made of everything. 'Just fine,' she said thickly.

He turned into the hospital's side car park and drove towards the entrance nearest X-Ray. She fumbled for the doorhandle, finally managing to wrench it open. 'But you'll find that remembering everything and brooding about them every hour of the day doesn't make them go away either,' she told him stiffly. 'Trust me, I've had years of experience.' Not waiting for his response to that, she jumped out awkwardly, slammed the door shut and ran inside.

Daisy
went straight from Theatres to one of the transplant unit's intensive care beds. She was ventilated overnight and for most of the next day, but when Annabel returned the next evening to see her she was conscious and awake and she even managed a smile.

'Sore,' she rasped in response to Annabel's questions. 'And still a bit tired and woozy from all this pain stuff they're giving me, but otherwise great. I can breathe properly.' She took a breath to demonstrate and held up her hands. 'And, look, my hands are bright pink. I can't stop looking at them. I just can't believe the colour. Mr Gram says I'll be here another day but then I might be able to go to his normal ward.'

'You're doing very well,' Annabel agreed. Daisy was still on oxygen and would continue to be on it for the routine twenty-four hours post-operatively, but her colour and blood levels were better than they'd ever been in all the years Annabel had been treating her, which suggested the new heart was functioning perfectly. 'Well done.'

'John's been on the phone today to travel agents about our holiday.' Daisy lifted her arms in a victorious way. 'He's finding out the best way to ship his Harley. Look out, Australia,' she declared huskily. 'Here we come.'

Annabel laughed. Life wasn't going to always be easy for Daisy from now on because for the rest of her life she'd have to take strong medication to try and prevent her immune system from rejecting her new heart. Particularly in the first few months she'd be vulnerable to infections as well since the high doses of the drugs she'd be taking would render her immune system very weak. Also, she'd have frequent heart biopsies, weekly at first, to monitor her for signs of rejection. But predictably, it seemed, she wasn't about to let little hurdles like that slow her down.

'And thanks, Dr Stuart.' Daisy dimpled at her. 'For everything, I mean. All these years. Thank you.'

'You're very welcome.' Annabel felt tearful suddenly. 'I'll be back to see you in the morning, Daisy. Sleep well.'

She checked with Hannah to make sure there was no one she needed to see, then headed home.

After her weekend on call and the dramatic events of the night before she should have slept well but, of course, she didn't.

She didn't see Luke at all Monday and although she'd inwardly steeled herself for encountering him at the Dean's lecture on Tuesday he wasn't there, and Harry arrived to introduce the session instead. On Wednesday she heard from the nurses in clinic that Luke was away until Friday at some conference which had been set up to advise on plans for a new government health think-tank, so some of her confidence came back as she realised she probably had until the following week before she'd see him. By which time she just might be able to cope with seeing him again without actually having a nervous breakdown, she prayed.

However, all of that calculating and considering left her woefully unprepared for Friday night after clinic when he barged into her office. 'What the hell is this?' he demanded.

Annabel's legs went weak. She sat down and looked blankly at the sheets of paper he was brandishing. 'Well, if you kept them still for five seconds so I could see—' she began, but then she caught sight of the heading on the top sheet of the fax and paled. 'Where did you get that?' she demanded.

'Where I got it isn't important—'

'That is a confidential fax,' she cried.

'What are you doing, faxing your resume to the Harefield?'

'I was simply making an enquiry,' she countered. 'Luke, you have no right to have that. This is outrageous.
Outrageous!
That was a highly confidential enquiry. I spoke personally to the medical staffing officer and she assured me no one here would be told anything. Who leaked that to you?'

'Where else have you made enquiries?'

'None of your business.'

He kicked her door shut and she jumped. 'Where?'

'I don't have to answer that.' She swung out of her chair and backed nervously when he advanced, his expression dangerous. 'Don't be silly,' she said huskily. 'You can't beat it out of me.'

'The thought remains tempting,' he growled. He slammed the papers down on her desk. 'What the hell are you playing at, Annie?'

'I thought you were away.'

'I'm back,' he retorted unnecessarily. 'Well?'

Annabel swallowed. 'Isn't it obvious? I'm looking about for another job. Where did you get that copy of my fax—?'

'You left a copy on the machine,' he said tightly. 'My secretary thought I should see it. Why, Annabel? Why did you send this?'

'You know why.'

'Suppose you tell me.'

'I don't want to work with you,' she wailed, angry that he was forcing her to say the words even though they both knew them already.

'Because of Saturday?'

'I'd mostly decided before that. What...happened on Saturday night just makes me more determined. I can't work with you, Luke. I can't stay here. I can't keep telling myself that the past doesn't matter because it does. I'll go mad if I have to keep seeing you.' She reached across to the printer attached to her computer. 'I've written my resignation.' She pulled the top sheet from the tray. 'I was going to give it to your secretary tomorrow but you may as well have it now.'

'Consider it rejected.' Unceremoniously he tore the sheet into shreds and let them fall to the floor. 'You're not going anywhere.'

'You can't do that.' Her mouth open, Annabel gazed down at the remains of her letter. 'It's on the computer. All I have to do is print it again.'

'They'll all be rejected.'

'I was only giving a copy to you out of professional courtesy,' she told him stiffly. 'You have no authority over me. I'm employed by the trust.'

'What do you want from me, Annie?' He looked furious. 'Haven't you had enough blood already? Or is it my resignation you're after this time?'

'Of course not.' She folded her arms tightly around herself, bemused by his questions. As if she could ever provoke such a thing. 'All I want is another job where I don't have to see you all the time. Why can't you just leave me alone?'

'Because I can't,' he ground out. 'Are you blind? How can you not see that? You've got me on the end of a string, like a puppet. I want to stay away from you but I can't. Do you know why that is, Annie?'

At the numbed shake of her head he smiled. 'It's because you alone have always been able to drive every sane, rational thought out of my head. It's because, despite all these years, nothing's changed. I was going to give you some space and some time but I can't. I can't because right now nothing in the world seems more important to me than taking you home and making love to you.' He took a step forward, his expression determined. 'Only this time it won't be until you're so ready you're crying out for me and I feel your body tightening around me in pleasure instead of pain.'

Annabel felt her face turn scarlet. She backed a step. 'Stay away from me,' she warned huskily.

'But I've just told you I can't,' he said silkily. He took another step towards her. 'And you weren't fighting me all the time on Saturday, Annabel. Not at first. I can make you feel that way again. Come here.'

'Get lost.'

Her office was too small for her to get far enough away from him to feel safe so instead she tried to skirt past him to the door. But he caught her before she was even halfway, one arm curling around her to haul her against him, his mouth coming down hard on hers. Controlling her with frustrating ease, he ignored the feeble blows she rained at his chest, his hands becoming seeking and demanding.

Somehow Annabel managed to twist away. She backed off quickly from him, one hand still holding her skirt, the other spread, trembling, in front of her in what suddenly felt like a frighteningly feeble attempt to fend him off. 'Stop it,' she ordered faintly when he started slowly advancing towards her again. 'No, Luke.'

'Stop pretending,' he said quietly. 'No more pretending. Your body's saying yes.' Reaching her, he captured her arms and spread them apart to reveal the rising shape of her breasts beneath the jacket he'd unbuttoned and her slip.

Annabel looked down at herself, saw how her puckered flesh welcomed him and stilled. She wasn't giving in, she wasn't ever giving in, but somehow, instead of fighting, her hands rose to encircle his wrists where he held her still, holding him instead of pushing him away, her body meekly unresisting as he moved her determinedly towards the wall behind them. 'Luke—'

'Why not?' She tore her stricken gaze away from her own shameless, heaving breasts beneath her slip as he lowered his head to the side of her throat. 'Why not?' he murmured. 'I'll be gentle this time. I was too frantic before. I rushed you. I won't hurt you this time.'

'I'll still leave,' she protested weakly, but he didn't react, didn't blink, didn't even hesitate as he captured her mouth. Suddenly, instead of pushing him away, her hands clung to his wrists as he pressed her back against the cool wall behind her. 'Are you so desperate to hold onto your staff you think you have to seduce them to keep them, Luke?'

'Desperate to hold onto you,' he insisted hoarsely. 'Only you. Don't leave, Annie. Stay. Stay with me here. Give me another chance. I've don't want to lose you again. We can make this work.'

'But I won't be able to bear it,' she whispered. 'I'll sleep with you if that's really what you want but you'll be destroying me.'

'I won't. Hurting you is worse than anything else in the world.'

Annabel turned her head away from him, closing her eyes as his mouth slid hotly across her skin to feel the fast pulse at the side of her throat. 'You'll do it anyway. You might not mean to but you will.'

'I love you. The last thing in the world I want to do is cause you pain.'

Her heart trembled but she was too frightened of his power over her to be anything but cautious. 'You've said you loved me before,' she reminded him tremulously. 'Why should I believe you this time?'

He dropped his arms and stood away from her, his expression oddly defeated. 'What do I have to do to prove it to you? Is it still my career, Annie? Do you still feel you're in competition with it? I thought we'd worked through that but it seems not. What will it take for you to forgive me for the mistakes we made in the past? Do you want me to take some quiet, undemanding job in a backwater for you? Are you asking me to quit as director here so you can stay on in peace?'

She looked up abruptly, meeting his hard green regard with cold shock. 'Would you do that for me?'

'Are you asking me to?'

'If I did, would you?'

His mouth tightened. 'I'm not going to play hypothetical games with you, Annie. Either ask me or don't. Don't fool around.'

She lowered her head and turned away from him, folding her arms protectively as she stared out of her window down onto the hospital lawn below them. 'It's not your job,' she told him unsteadily. 'I understand better about that now. I don't want you to leave here.'