Unknown (6 page)

‘It’s all right. Rose will be all right,’ he whispered, gathering her to him and holding her close. ‘But it’s all been a bit much for you, hasn’t it?’

He talked on, quietly, until her tears subsided. She didn’t know what he was saying, all she was aware of was the smooth feel of his dinner jacket, the faint tang still clinging of his after-shave and the touch of his hand on her hair as his arms cradled her. Finally, he tilted up her face.

‘Better now?’ As he looked down at her suddenly the gentle compassion left his eyes, to be replaced by a fierce hungry longing such as Rachel had never seen before. For one wild moment she thought he was going to kiss her and she held her breath, her senses reeling. But he released her and turned away, saying abruptly, ‘Right, then, we’ll be on our way,*

He drove back to Glencarrick at break neck speed, hardly speaking a word, his jaw set like granite. It was as if he was ashamed of his flash of tenderness towards her, annoyed that he had allowed her to penetrate his armour of hardness.

As for Rachel, she had glimpsed the man behind the
armour, and seen the hunger in his eyes. If she had fancied herself in love with Richard Duncan before she was now utterly and completely under his spell. She knew it could bring her nothing but heartache.

He pulled up outside the cottage.

‘Go to bed now,’ he commanded, ‘and sleep for as long as you can. I’ll see you’re not disturbed.’

‘What about Melanie and—everything?’ Rachel was so exhausted she hardly knew what she was saying. ‘She’s not your problem. Just go to bed and sleep.'

‘All right. Thank you.’ She got out of the car, noticing that Richard looked as exhausted as she felt, but she made no comment. He was not her problem, either, as he would be only too quick to tell her.

She let herself into the cottage and went upstairs to bed.

She slept until three in the afternoon, then she got up and had a leisurely bath, after first phoning the cottage hospital.

‘Your aunt is as comfortable as can be expected,' a Scottish voice told her. ‘But I’m afraid it’s a broken pelvis she has. She’ll need to stay here and have complete bed rest for some time.’

Some time. What did that mean? Rachel asked herself as she relaxed in a warm perfumed bath. Days? Weeks? Months? And what about her, Rachel? Should she stay on at Kilfinan Cottage or would she simply be in the way? She had been in Scotland less than a month, but was it time she went back home and picked up the threads of her former life?

She climbed out of the bath and towelled herself dry; common sense dictated that that was the best course. A vision of Richard Duncan rose before her. Best to get out before it was too late. To stay on at Glencarrick was only to invite heartbreak.

She went downstairs and scrambled herself some eggs, and she was just washing up after this when there was a knock at the door.

It was Richard. He looked tired and faintly irritable. ‘May I come in and talk to you?’ he asked, running his fingers through his hair in what, in anyone else, would have seemed a nervous gesture. 'I know I said I’d see you weren’t disturbed, but ... have you had a good sleep?’

‘Oh, yes,' she laughed ruefully, ‘I didn’t wake till three this afternoon. How about you?’

‘I had a couple of hours.’ He yawned. ‘It’s catching up on me now, though.’

‘Would you like some coffee?’ She led the way through to the cosy living room.

‘That would be very nice.’ He sat down in what was usually Rose’s chair, staring into the fire, while Rachel made coffee and searched for some of Rose’s shortbread. ‘Is something wrong?’ she asked anxiously as she put the tray down on a stool between them and poured the coffee.

'No. Well, yes. He shifted in his chair. ‘I’ve been talking to my father ....’

‘About my aunt?’

He nodded. ‘Yes. He’s been in touch with Archie Murdoch and it looks as if Rose will be in hospital for weeks, months probably.’

Rachel sipped her coffee slowly. ‘Melanie will miss her.’

‘We shall all miss Rose, but Melanie more than anyone. I’m afraid .....’ he sighed. ‘I just don’t know what to do about her.’ He banged his cup down. ‘What’s the matter with the child? Why can’t she be like other children? I’ve done everything I can think of. This speech therapy business is obviously a waste of time....’ He put his head in his hands. ‘The answer, of course, is to send her to school.’

‘Do that and she’ll feel completely rejected.’ Rachel curled both hands round her cup. ‘As I see it, everyone loves Melanie but nobody wants her. She needs someone to spend time with her, helping her, doing things with her.’ She made a gesture with her hands. ‘Oh, I know Ben is very good, he talks to her a lot, but he isn’t really helping her.’ She looked up at Richard. ‘What none of you seem to realise is all that’s wrong with Melanie is that she’s missing her mother. She needs loving, and showing she’s loved.’

As soon as she had spoken the words Rachel could have bitten her tongue out. Seeing the agonised expression that crossed Richard’s face she bent her head. ‘I'm sorry. Forgive me, I shouldn’t have said that.’

Richard shook his head. ‘If only you knew ....’ He seemed to pull himself together with an effort. ‘Is there any more coffee?’ he asked.

Rachel refilled his cup, her heart heavy. At this moment he looked so vulnerable she would have liked to put her arms round him and comfort him, to hold him close to her heart.

‘What are you going to do now that Rose isn’t here?' he asked cutting across her thoughts.

‘Why, I’m not sure. I haven’t really had time to decide.’ She got up and went over to the window, looking out on the gathering dusk. ‘I suppose I’ll go back home. Rose is being well looked after. If she needs me when—if she comes out of hospital perhaps I could come back for a while. I have to go back and pick up the threads sometime.’ She bowed her head as she spoke and her voice was low. But it was not the thought of going home that upset her, she realised that, it was the thought of leaving Richard Duncan behind. And he would barely notice that she had gone.

He got up from his chair and came and stood behind her, resting his hand on the window frame by her head,

‘You could stay,’ he said quietly. ‘You could remain here as Melanie’s governess—I don’t like that word, but you know what I mean—win her confidence, teach her, help her.’ his voice dropped, ‘perhaps even grow to love her.'

Rachel was silent, conscious of the man standing so close behind her that if she moved her head it would rest on his shoulder. She held her breath, afraid to speak in case her emotions gave her away.

Richard moved away and went over to the table. ‘Of course, it’s what my father has always wanted, for Melanie to be educated at home, so it would please him if you agreed.’ He sighed, adding as an afterthought, ‘Goodness knows, I seem to do little enough to please him these days.’ His tone became more businesslike. ‘I’m sure we can come to an amicable agreement over salary etc. You would, of course, live at Kilfinan House.’

For a long time Rachel didn’t speak. She stood watching the darkness gradually enveloping the mountains, her thoughts in a turmoil. She should say no. She should go home, leave this place that was so beautiful it was almost unreal, and this man who having asked her to stay, would only regard her presence as a sign of defeat—of having given in to his father over Melanie’s education. To stay would be to invite heartbreak all over again.

‘I’ll stay,’ she whispered, adding, ‘For Melanie’s sake.’

Rachel
woke next morning with mixed feelings. She had agreed to move into Kilfinan House right away and begin looking after Melanie, but she couldn’t help wondering if she was doing the right thing. To actually live under the same roof as Richard Duncan could only be to torture herself—exquisite torture though it might be—knowing he was there, aching to be held in his arms, while he was scarcely aware of her existence except as governess for his little daughter. Governess. She must keep reminding herself of that Victorian word, conjuring up, as it did, a picture of a nobody—neither servant nor master, belonging neither ‘upstairs’ nor ‘downstairs’.

She packed a few things in a suitcase, the rest would be collected later, locked the door to Rose’s cottage and walked up the drive to Kilfinan House. Richard was just about to leave. He was wearing a dark grey suit with a blue shirt and immaculately knotted striped tie. Rachel caught her breath. He looked incredibly handsome and smart.

‘I have to go to Glasgow today, on business,’ he said by way of explanation. He took her suitcase from her and as he bent his head she caught a faint hint of aftershave. ‘But I’ve got time to take these up for you and show you your rooms before I go.’ He led the way from the kitchen down a corridor and into a wide square parquet-floored hall, where two large carved oak chests, a suit of armour and several tapestry-covered chairs lined the walls. A grandfather clock with a friendly silver face stood at the first bend of the wide, thickly carpeted oak staircase. Rachel followed him up the stairs and along a corridor off to the left, lined either side with doors. There was a long stained-glass window at the end of the corridor.

‘This is the wing we live in, as you probably know,’ he explained. ‘That’s my father’s study,’ he indicated the first door on the right, ‘and his bedroom next to it. My rooms are these, opposite. Then there are the bathrooms and guest rooms, Melanie's playroom, bedroom and bathroom.’ Rachel recognised the three doors on the right that he pointed out from putting Melanie to bed the previous evening. ‘Your bedroom and sitting room are these, opposite Melanie’s rooms. I’m sure you won t mind sharing Melanie's bathroom.’ He opened the last door on the left.

It was a sunny room, with windows on two walls, one looking out over the glen to the mountains beyond, the other looking on to the woods on the estate where Melanie loved to play, with, far in the distance, a thin grey ribbon which was the road to Ardenbeg. The room itself was furnished in blue and grey, with a grey carpet and deep blue dralon curtains and chair coverings. There were two comfortable armchairs, a small low table, portable television and radio, built-in bookshelves full of books and a long teak sideboard. An electric fire was built into a long row of fitments along one wall, which also incorporated cupboards and a cushioned fireside bench. It was a very comfortable room. In one corner there was a connecting door to the bedroom.

This was furnished in a completely different style. The four-poster bed was draped in William Morris print to match the curtains. The walls and carpet were a plain, deep cream. The table beside the bed, the chest of drawers and the kidney-shaped dressing table—also draped in William Morris print—with its dainty triple mirror, were all clearly very old, but well cared for.

‘They’re lovely rooms,’ Rachel said warmly. ‘I’m sure I shall be very comfortable.’

‘I hope you will.’ Richard regarded her thoughtfully for a moment, then said briskly, ‘I daresay Rose has already shown you over the rest of the house, so you’ll know your way about.’ He went over to the window. ‘You have a fine view over the glen. My windows have this view, too. I never tire of it. Melanie’s rooms and my father’s face the other way, towards the mountain.’ He turned away from the window, glancing at his watch. ‘I must go. I’ve a meeting at twelve and it’s a long drive to Glasgow. Melanie’s away playing in the woods. I did tell her you’d be coming but,’ he sighed, ‘I don’t know whether she understood.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll explain to her,’ said Rachel.

‘Thank you.’ He looked at his watch again. ‘I must go. If there’s anything you want you must tell me....’

‘I’m sure there’s everything I could possibly need here.’

‘I hope so.’ He went to the door, then stopped and turned back. ‘My father rang Archie Murdoch again this morning. Rose is quite comfortable and happy.’

‘Oh, I’m so glad.’

‘She was worried about you. My father said it relieved her to know you were coming here to live.’

‘Oh.’ Rachel didn’t quite know what else to say. She wished Richard would go, yet she wanted him to stay.

‘I hope you’ll be happy here.’

‘I’m sure I shall.’

He looked at her for a moment as if he was going to say something else, but a car horn sounded on the drive below. ‘That’ll be Moira,’ he said instead. ‘She has some shopping to do in Glasgow, so I’m giving her a lift.’

He left, and Rachel sat down in the nearest armchair, weak at the knees. If Richard Duncan was going to have this effect on her each time they met life was going to prove difficult. She must pull herself together and remember that Moira McLeod had laid claim to Richard, and if he married anyone it would be her, not Melanie’s governess. She got up from her chair and went over to the window. Moira had parked her car and was just getting in beside Richard. She was wearing a beautifully cut blue trouser suit and her make-up was immaculate. As the car door closed and Richard drove off her tinkling laugh floated up to Rachel. Sadly, she turned away from the window and went to unpack her things.

When she had done this she went to look for Melanie. She was surprised to find as she stepped outside that the day, which had begun quite bright, had become overcast and thin drizzle was beginning to fall. Surely Melanie wouldn’t be playing in the woods in such weather. Then she heard the sound of an axe from a nearby barn. Perhaps she was with Ben.

Ben was chopping logs with a rhythmic swinging movement which made it look deceptively easy. Melanie was playing with heaps of sawdust in a far corner.

‘I was looking for Melanie,’ said Rachel, pretending not to have seen her. ‘I suppose you can’t tell me where she is, Ben? You see, I’ve only just moved into Kilfinan House and I’m not sure where to find anything. I thought she might be able to help me. Nobody else seems to have time.’ Rachel had decided on this approach after much thought.

Ben grinned, catching Rachel’s idea. ‘No, I’ve not seen her, Rachel, but if you'll wait a wee while till I finish these logs I’ll be happy to come round with you myself.’

Immediately there was a scuffling noise from the corner and Melanie came and slipped her hand into Rachel's.