Universal Alien

Raves for the
Alien
novels:

“For those craving futuristic high-jinks and gripping adventure, Koch is an absolute master!”

—
RT Book Reviews (top pick)

“Koch still pulls the neat trick of quietly weaving in plot threads that go unrecognized until they start tying together—or snapping. This is a hyperspeed-paced addition to a series that shows no signs of slowing down.”

—
Publishers Weekly

“Aliens, danger, and romance make this a fast-paced, wittily-written sf romantic comedy.”

—
Library Journal

“Gini Koch's Kitty Katt series is a great example of the lighter side of science fiction. Told with clever wit and non-stop pacing . . . it blends diplomacy, action and sense of humor into a memorable reading experience.”

—
Kirkus

“The action is nonstop, the snark flies fast and furious. . . . Another fantastic addition to an imaginative series!”

—
Night Owl Sci-Fi (top pick)

“Ms. Koch has carved a unique niche for herself in the sci-fi-romance category with this series. My only hope is that it lasts for a very long time.”

—
Fresh Fiction

“This delightful romp has many interesting twists and turns as it glances at racism, politics, and religion en route . . . will have fanciers of cinematic sf parodies referencing Men in Black, Ghost Busters, and X-Men.”

—
Booklist
(starred review)

“Gini Koch mixes up the sometimes staid niche of science fiction romance by adding nonstop humor, blockbuster action, and moments worthy of a soap opera.”

—Dirty Sexy Books

DAW Books Presents GINI KOCH's

Alien Novels:

TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN

ALIEN TANGO

ALIEN IN THE FAMILY

ALIEN PROLIFERATION

ALIEN DIPLOMACY

ALIEN VS. ALIEN

ALIEN IN THE HOUSE

ALIEN RESEARCH

ALIEN COLLECTIVE

UNIVERSAL ALIEN

ALIEN SEPARATION

(coming in May 2015)

Copyright © 2014 by Jeanne Cook.

All Rights Reserved.

Cover art by Daniel Dos Santos.

Cover design by G-Force Design.

DAW Book Collectors No. 1675.

DAW Books are distributed by Penguin Group (USA).

All characters and events in this book are fictitious.

Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book may have been stolen property and reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher. In such case neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal, and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author's rights is appreciated.

Nearly all the designs and trade names in this book are registered trademarks. All that are still in commercial use are protected by United States and international trademark law.

eBook ISBN: 978-0-698-18217-2

DAW TRADEMARK REGISTERED U.S. PAT. AND TM. OFF. AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES —MARCA REGISTRADA HECHO EN U.S.A.

To the memories of all those we've loved who are gone from us too soon in this world—somewhere in the multiverse we're still together laughing.

I know I sound like a broken record, but first and foremost I have to thank my wonderful editor and agent, Sheila Gilbert and Cherry Weiner, for always taking care of me and being incredibly fun, supportive, and patient while doing so. Couldn't do it without my fantastic crit partner, Lisa Dovichi and my main beta readers, Mary Fiore and Veronica Cook. Sure, they're my mum and daughter, but they don't have to read the final drafts in a day—they just do because they know I need them to.

As always, love and thanks always to all the good folks at DAW Books and Penguin, to all my fans around the globe, my Hook Me Up! Gang, members of Team Gini, all Alien Collective Members in Very Good Standing, Twitter followers, Facebook fans and friends, Pinterest followers, and all the wonderful fans who come to my various book signings and conference panels—you're all the best and I wouldn't want to do this without each and every one of you along for the ride.

Special shout-outs to: Joseph Gaxiola and Colette Chmiel for continuing to be the best assistants anyone could have, near and far both; Missy Katano for help with many things military and Lynn Crain for help with many things diplomatic and Alphabet Agency related; Tamara Baker, Moskintia, Dee Haddrill, and my other Aussie fans for helping me with all things Australian any time of day or night; Dan King, for hooking me up with Moskintia; Chrysta Stuckless, Missy Katano, Mariann Asanuma, Jan Robinson, Terry Smith, and Koren Cota for all the delicious and lovely things you've bestowed on me to keep me going; Oliver & Blanca Bernal for always having a welcoming home; Adrian & Lisa Payne, Hal & Dee Astell, Andrea & Duncan Rittschoff, and Stacy Stolz & Gordon Drinovsky for always supporting me wherever I go; Jennifer Stuckless for some awesome fan art; Raul Padron for late night Cuban language assistance; my Paranormal Romance Dream Team pals—authors Caris Roane, Erin Kellison, and Erin Quinn—for laughs, advice, and solidarity; my Wyked Women Who Write friends—authors Jordan Summers, T.M. Williams, Sharon Skinner, T.L. Smith, and Marsheila Rockwell—for fun times at cons and while eating cupcakes, and for being there when I needed help, teasing, or someone to veg out with; all the members of The Stampeding Herd—Lisa Dovichi, Barb Tyler, Lynn Crain, Hal Astell, and Marsheila Rockwell—for ensuring that I always have someone to run with, metaphorically speaking; Mysterious Galaxy San Diego and The Poisoned Pen Scottsdale for support at cons, events, and book signings; Craig & Stephanie Dyer, Brad “My Man” Jensen, Joseph “Pick A Nickname” Gaxiola & Edward “GF #1” Pulley, Duncan & Andrea Rittschoff, Adrian & Lisa Payne, and Linda Johnson for fantastic and much needed help during Phoenix Comicon; Chris “Delicious” Swanson for extreme late night brainstorming; Robert Palsma for ensuring I know someone likes me every day; awesome author L.E. Modesitt, Jr. for excellent advice and friendship; Missy Katano (gettin' the hat trick) for her detailed work on cataloging and more for the earlier books in the series; and especially Emily Albee, aka Amadhia, for letting me bring her into Kitty's worlds.

Last but never least, thanks and love as always to my husband, Steve, and daughter, Veronica. I wouldn't trade the two of you for anything, not even superpowers and a host of hotties in Armani. Honest.

T
HE FORMER PRESIDENT OF INDIA,
Abdul Kalam, shared a lovely sentiment—Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work.

He's totally right that we're not alone, of course. But with all due respect, former president Kalam is dead wrong about the entire universe being friendly to us. There are a lot of “others” out there, and while some are all for helping good ol' Earth, there are plenty who think we should be avoided, enslaved, or destroyed.

 • • • 

George Carlin said that if it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

I know he's right. I just know there's more out there than we've seen. I look for it, sometimes, when I feel alone. I look for all the “others” out there. So far, unless they're in a comic or a book or a movie, I haven't found them.

 • • • 

I'm not sure what's actually more surreal—that the universe is teeming with life of all kinds, or that I've somehow gone from being a single marketing manager to the wife of the Vice President of the United States in just under five years.

Oh sure, it was a long road between “there” and “here”—much of it filled with fights against many very bad things, both extraterrestrial and very terrestrial. Humans are really the worst though. We're devious and nasty on a scale that, thankfully so far, none of the aliens showing up to visit or move in seem able to manage. I'll take a fugly space monster over most of the human megalomaniacs I've dealt with over the years.

Being married to an alien, at least one from Alpha Four of the Alpha Centauri system, has definitely been the highlight. Well, our hybrid and scary-talented daughter is a highlight, too. Jeff and Jamie make all the change and general surreality that has become my daily life worthwhile.

 • • • 

Sometimes, I wonder what it's all about. I mean, I have a pretty great life, and I love my family. I'm a good wife, mother, and daughter, and I do things that matter. But there are days when I just can't do anything right, and I wonder what's wrong with me.

 • • • 

Oh, of course, I have bad days. Sadly, since becoming the Second Lady, or whatever I'm really supposed to be called now, there's a lot of pressure. Shockingly, with more public scrutiny comes more ways for me to screw up. And there are days when I wonder what's wrong with me.

 • • • 

Sometimes, I just want to see what it would be like, if things were just a little different. Maybe not a whole lot different, just enough to where I could do something more, be something more . . . be something else.

 • • • 

Sometimes, I just want to know what it would be like if I was me, but maybe a little less unwillingly famous and a whole lot more competent on the regular people things I sometimes seem incapable of managing with anything resembling smoothness or competence.

 • • • 

Some days, I just want to be somewhere else. A place where I do everything right.

 • • • 

Some days, I'd really like to be somewhere else. Where everything I do is right.

 • • • 

Hey . . . is there an echo in here?