Unforgiven (17 page)

As the Perceived Slights filed off behind their leader, Cam tried to hide his smile. Just when Cam was feeling the strain of having to fend off Lucifer's tricks, Lilith had unwittingly stood up to the devil on her own.

“What?” Lilith asked. “Why are you smirking at me?”

Cam shook his head. “I'm not.”

She nodded toward the front doors of the school. “You coming to homeroom?”

“Nah,” he said, letting his smile bust out. “I'm in too good a mood to go to class.”

“Must be nice,” Lilith said, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I'm trying this turn-over-a-new-leaf thing at school, getting to class on time and all that.”

“That's great,” Cam said. “I'm glad.”

“What will you do all day?”

Cam gazed at the sky, where black smoke from the hills climbed toward a pale gray sun. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah, right.” Lilith lingered before him, and Cam relished the quiet moment, trying not to hope for more. He restrained himself from touching her, and instead admired the slight slope of her nose, the cowlick that made her hair swoop up a little on the right.

“Lilith—” he started to say.

“I got your note,” she said. “Those flowers. That desk. I've never been given a desk before. Very original.”

Cam chuckled.

“But the note—” Lilith started to say.

“I meant it,” Cam said quickly. “In case that's what you were going to ask. I don't expect anything in return, but I meant it. Every word.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes wide, her lips parted. He'd seen that look before. It was burned into his memory from the very first time they ever kissed.

Cam closed his eyes and he was back there, holding her on the banks of the Jordan River, feeling her warmth against his skin, drawing his lips toward hers. Oh, that kiss. There was no deeper ecstasy. Her lips were feather soft one minute, hungry with passion the next. He never knew what to expect from her, and he delighted in each surprise.

He needed another kiss. He wanted her now, again, always.

He opened his eyes. She was still there, gazing at him, as if three thousand years hadn't passed. Was she feeling it, too? How could she not? He leaned in. He reached to cup the back of her head. She opened her mouth—

And the bell rang.

Lilith jumped back. “I can't be late. I gotta go.”

“Wait—”

And just like that, she was gone, a flash of red hair disappearing through the front doors of the school. And Cam was alone once more, wondering if he'd ever again know the bliss of her lips—or if he would starve on memories alone for the rest of eternity.

After school, Cam waited at the front door of Lilith's house, holding two heavy bags of groceries. He'd spent the afternoon at the town's tiny health-food store, picking out strange, exciting things he thought she'd like. Avocados. Pomegranate. Couscous. Food that, he guessed, she had never been able to afford.

Truth was, he couldn't afford them either. He'd swiped them when the storeowner wasn't looking. But what was the worst thing that could happen—he'd end up in Hell?

“Hey,” he called as Lilith trudged up the path, her head bowed under the weight of her guitar and her backpack. She didn't look up. Maybe she hadn't heard him.

“Lilith,” he said loudly. “Luis told me you were surviving on Doritos for breakfast. He's under the impression that's good for a musician's stamina. You need protein, complex carbohydrates, antioxidants, and I'm here to deliver.”

“Drop dead, Cam,” Lilith said, not even looking at him as she marched up her porch steps. She pulled her key out of her backpack and rammed it into the lock.

“Huh?” he said. “What happened now?”

She hesitated, then turned to face him. Her eyes were an angry red. “
This
happened.” Lilith thrust open her backpack and pulled out a messy stack of photocopies. Some were folded, some were stomped on, one had a piece of gum stuck to it.

Lilith tossed the pages in Cam's face. He grabbed one as they fluttered to the ground and saw the lyrics to the song they'd played together the day before, “Flying Upside Down.”

“It's a great song,” Cam said. “I already told you that. What's the problem?”

“The problem?” Lilith asked. “First you sent my lyrics in to the competition without my permission. Then you somehow convinced me that you'd done that for my own good. But you couldn't stop there, could you?”

Cam was confused. “Lilith, what—”

She grabbed the paper out of his hand and crumpled it into a ball. “You had to go make a thousand photocopies of my song and paper the school with them.”

Suddenly, Cam realized what must have happened. Lucifer had seen him getting close to her, and the devil had stepped in. “Wait—I never…I don't even know where the copy machine is!”

But Lilith wasn't listening. “Now all of Trumbull not only thinks I'm a narcissistic monster, but they also hate my song.” She choked back a sob. “You should have heard them laughing at me. Chloe King almost passed out, she was having such a blast shredding my lyrics. But you”—she glared at him with deep, committed rage—“you skipped school today, didn't you? You missed the whole fantastic scene.”

“Yes,” Cam said, “but if you'd just let me explain—”

“Don't worry,” Lilith told him. “I'm sure you'll catch the recap tomorrow in the cafeteria.” She slung her backpack over her shoulder and pushed open her front door. “I'm done with you, Cam. Leave me alone.”

Cam felt dizzy, not only because Lilith was so angry, but also because he knew how mortifying it must have been to have her lyrics posted all over school.

“Lilith,” he said. “I would never—”

“Are you going to blame Luis or Jean? You were the only other person who had a copy.” When she looked up at Cam, tears shone in the corners of her eyes. “You did something today that I didn't think anyone could ever do. You made me ashamed of my music.”

Cam's face fell. “Don't be. That song is
good,
Lilith.”

“I used to think so.” Lilith dabbed her eyes. “Until you sent it out into the world, naked and defenseless.”

“Why would I do that?” Cam said. “I believe in that song. I believe in you.”

“The problem is, Cam, I don't believe in you.” Lilith stepped inside, staring out at Cam from her doorframe. “Take your stupid groceries and get out of here.”

“The groceries are for you,” he said, setting them down on her stoop. He would make Lucifer pay for this somehow. The devil's interventions had gone too far. They were tearing Lilith apart. “I'll go.”

“Wait,” she said.

“Yes?” he asked, turning back around. Something in her voice gave him hope. “What is it?”

“You're out of the band,” Lilith said. “For good.”

Approximately 1000 BCE

T
he desert sky sparkled with stars as Lilith picked up her lyre. Roland sat beside her on a mound of straw, his flute at his lips. Every bright-eyed youth in the village had gathered around them, waiting for the show to start.

The party had been Cam's idea, but the concert had been Lilith's, a demonstration of her love for Cam, whom she couldn't wait to marry when the harvest came. Their courtship had been swift and passionate, and it was clear to all those around them that these two were meant to share their lives. Iris blossoms decorated the canopy of branches that Lilith and her sisters had woven that afternoon.

Roland played first. His eyes shone as he cast a spell over the audience with his mysterious flute, playing a sweet, sad song that put everyone in the mood for romance. Cam held his bronze goblet high, leaning into Lilith and smelling the salt on her skin.

Love hung palpably in the air. Dani's arm encircled Liat, who was swaying with her dark eyes closed, savoring the music. Behind her, Arriane's head rested on the shoulder of a curly-headed girl named Tess.

Lilith played the next song. It was a lush, haunting melody she had improvised during her first encounter with Cam. When she was finished, and the applause had settled down, Cam pulled her close and kissed her deeply.

“You are a miracle,” he whispered.

“As are you,” Lilith replied, kissing him again. Each time their lips touched, it was like the first time. She was amazed by how much her life had changed since Cam's green eyes had first smiled upon her. Behind her, Roland had started playing again, and Lilith and Cam turned their kiss into a dance, swaying together under the stars.

A hand squeezed Lilith's, and she turned to find Liat. Growing up, the two had been friendly but not friends. Now, the girls had bonded over their parallel romances.

“There you are!” Lilith said, kissing Liat's cheek, then turning to greet Dani, but something in his expression stopped her. He looked nervous.

“What's wrong?” Lilith asked.

“Nothing,” he said quickly before turning away and raising his goblet. “I'd like to propose a toast,” he said to the rowdy crowd. “To Cam and Lilith!”

“To Cam and Lilith!” the party echoed as Cam slipped his arm around her waist.

Dani gazed down at Liat. “Let us all take a minute to turn to the person we love and make sure they know how special they are to us.”

“Don't do it, Dani,” Cam said under his breath.

“What?” Lilith asked. Until now, the night had been as blissful as any Lilith had ever known, but Cam's tone gave her a sinking feeling. She looked up at the stars pulsing in the sky and sensed something shift, a dark energy converging over their happy gathering.

Lilith followed Cam's gaze to Dani.

“Liat Lucinda Bat Chana,” Dani was saying, “I say your name to affirm that you live, you breathe, you are a wonder.” His eyes filled with tears. “You are my Lucinda. You are love.”

“Oh no,” Arriane said, pushing through the crowd.

From the opposite side of the tent, Roland was closing in on Dani, too, shoving a dozen men out of the way. They cursed his rudeness, and two of them tossed goblets at his head.

Only, Cam did not lunge at Liat and Dani. Instead, he pulled Lilith as far away from the crowd as he could manage, as—

Liat closed the distance between her lips and Dani's. A sob broke in Dani's throat, and he jerked his face away. Something in him surrendered, like a mountain falling into the sea.

And then there was light: a pillar of flame where the lovers had stood.

Lilith saw fire, breathed smoke. The ground trembled, and she fell.

“Lilith!” Cam caught her in his arms while hurrying away, toward the river. “You're safe,” he said. “I've got you.”

Lilith held him tightly, her eyes filled with tears. Something terrible had happened to Liat. All she could hear were Dani's cries.

When the moon had waxed and waned and waxed again, and shock had faded to resigned grief, the tribe turned its focus to Lilith's wedding to lift their spirits. Her sisters finished weaving her special wedding robe. Her brothers rolled out barrels of wine from the family cave.

And down at a hidden bend in the Jordan River, two fallen angels sunned their glistening bodies on the lily-covered bank after a last-minute swim.

“Are you sure you don't want me to postpone this?” Cam asked, shaking out his hair.

“I'm fine,” Dani said, forcing a smile. “She'll come back. And what difference does it make if you marry Lilith today or in two months?”

Cam lifted his finest robe from the branches of the carob tree and wrapped it around himself. “It makes a great deal of difference to her. She'd be devastated if I suggested postponing it.”

Dani looked at the river a long time. “I finished your marriage license last night. The paint should be dry by now.” He stood up and pulled on his robe. “I'll get it.”

Alone for a moment, Cam sat down and stared into the river. He skipped a stone across the surface and marveled that the laws of nature still held on a day as magical as this.

He'd never dreamed he'd get married. Until he met her. Love had blossomed so quickly between them that it was startling to think how much Lilith didn't know, how much Cam still needed to tell her—

Arms around his neck surprised him. Soft hands found his chest. He closed his eyes.

Lilith started singing softly, a melody he'd been hearing her hum for weeks. At last, she'd found the words to suit the tune:

“I give my arms to you

I give my eyes to you

I give my scars to you

And all my lies to you

What will you give

to me?”

“That is the most enchanting thing I've ever heard,” Cam said.

“It's my wedding vow to you.” She rested her forehead on the nape of his neck. “You really like it?”

“I like wine, fine clothes, the cool kiss of this river,” Cam said. “There is no word that could ever capture how I feel about that vow.” He turned his head to nuzzle her and saw her for the first time in her handmade wedding gown. “Or about you. Or about that dress.”

“Decorum,” Dani said from behind them. “You're not married yet.” He knelt before the lovers and unrolled a thick scroll of parchment.

“This is beautiful,” Cam said, admiring Dani's elegant Aramaic writing and the airy paintings he'd added as a border, which depicted Cam and Lilith in a dozen embraces.

“Wait,” Lilith said as her brows knit together. “This says we will be married here, by the river.”

“What better place? This is where we fell in love.” Cam tried to keep his voice cheerful even as dread swept over him, for he knew what she was about to say.

Lilith took a deep breath, measuring her words. “You and Dani flout convention, and I like that. But we are about to be
married,
Cam. We will be entering a long tradition, one that I respect. I want to marry in the temple.”

The temple Cam couldn't set foot in. And he was too ashamed to tell her why—that he was a fallen angel, and a fallen angel could not tread on consecrated ground.

He should have told her the truth from the beginning. But if he'd told her, it would have been the end of their love, for how could someone as virtuous as Lilith accept Cam as he was?

“Please, Lilith,” he said. “Try to envision a beautiful wedding by the river—”

“I told you what I want,” Lilith said. “I thought we had agreed.”

“I would never have agreed to a marriage in the temple,” Cam said, trying to keep the tone of his voice steady, not wanting to betray himself.

“Why not?” Lilith asked, bewildered. “What secret do you bear?”

Dani stepped away, giving the couple a moment alone. Even now, Cam could not bring himself to tell her that he was not human, that he was other. He loved her so much that he could not bear to fall in her esteem. And he
would
fall if she knew the truth.

He turned to face her, memorizing every freckle, every glint of sunlight in her hair, the kaleidoscopic blue of her eyes. “You are the most remarkable creature I have ever seen—”

“We
must
marry in the temple,” Lilith said emphatically. “Especially after what happened to Liat. My family and my community will not honor our union any other way.”

“I'm not of your community.”

“But I am,” Lilith said.

Her community would never honor this union if they found out the truth about Cam. He hadn't been thinking—that was the problem. He'd been so caught up in love he hadn't stopped to realize how many barriers stood between them.

He gazed loathingly in the direction of the temple. “I won't set foot in there.”

Lilith was close to tears. “Then you don't love me.”

“I love you more than I ever thought possible,” he said sharply. “But it doesn't change a thing.”

“I don't understand,” she said. “Cam—”

“It's over,” he said, suddenly knowing what he had to do. They would go their separate ways today, each nursing a broken heart. There was no other way. “The wedding, everything.”

He spiked his words with bitterness, and when Lilith opened her mouth, he heard words angrier than the ones she spoke. This would become his side of the story: the words he needed to hear to end everything.

“You're breaking my heart,” she said.

But what Cam heard behind her words was:
You're a bad man. I know what you are.

“Forget about me,” he said. “Find someone better.”

“Never,” she gasped. “My heart belongs to you. Damn you for not knowing that.”

But Cam knew that what she really meant was:
I hope I live a thousand years and have a thousand daughters so there will always be a woman who can curse your name.