Unforeseen Danger (9 page)

Jake smiled as he recalled how her eyes had sparkled that night, the secret smile that played on her red lips.
 
Danger turned Nikki on, and she tormented him with sly caresses when no one else was watching and scandalous whispers when no one else could hear.
 
At the dinner table, she slipped her satin panties into his hand and laughed as he shoved them in his pocket.
 
Jake somehow made it through dinner without touching her, but he didn’t make it all the way home.
 
Before they got to the end of Stephens’ private road, he nearly put the BMW in the ditch before he threw it in park and chased a laughing Nikki into the backseat.

But those were the good days, days before things had inexplicably gone sour.
 
The angry words of their last conversation echoed in the house like a ghost.
 
Jake closed his eyes and remembered what it felt like, sitting in the dark in his study with those divorce papers in his lap, waiting for her to come home.

An eternity passed before her key hit the lock.
 
Nikki tossed a stack of mail on the coffee table and started to take off her leather jacket.

“Where have you been?” he asked, and watched her stiffen.
 
Without turning to look at him, she slipped off her coat and hung it in the hall closet.

“With Darcy.”
 
Her voice was tight, tense, and Jake’s anger surged again.

“Is that right?” he asked, and finally she turned to him.
 

She looked pale.
 
Tired.
 
There was such pain in her green eyes that Jake found he couldn’t meet her gaze.

“
Dammit
, Jake.
 
Yes, that’s right.
 
I was with Darcy.
 
Do you want to call her and check?”

She reached to flip on the light and he said, “Don’t.”

Nikki gave him an exasperated look and threw up her hands.
 
“Fine.
 
Sit here in the dark by yourself.
 
I’m going to bed.”

She started toward the stairs and Jake stood.

“I can’t live like this anymore.”
 
The words, hopeless and desperate, burst from him and she froze on the bottom step.
 
“I want a divorce.”
 

Even as he said the words, he wished he could take them back, especially when he saw the horror on her face.
 
He’d wanted to break her cool composure, to hurt her as he’d been hurt, but when her tears came, there was no satisfaction for him in it.

“You don’t mean that,” she whispered.
 
“You can’t mean that.”

Jake said nothing and she took a faltering step toward him.
 
“Jake, you don’t understand – you don’t know—”

All the pain, all the anger he tried to hold back the past two weeks came rushing to the surface.
 
“That’s right, Nikki!” he shouted.
 
“I don’t understand and I don’t know…why don’t you tell me?”

“What can I say, Jake?
 
What can I say to make it better?
 
That I’m sorry?
 
That I love you?
 
I’ve tried that, but it’s not what you want to hear.”

“
Dammit
, Nikki, I want you to say it.
 
Saying you’re sorry doesn’t mean anything when you won’t even tell me what you’re sorry for.
 
Stop lying to me and just say it.”

“Alright!” she yelled.
 
“I did it, okay?
 
I cheated on you.
 
I never meant for it to happen.
 
I’m not even sure how it happened.
 
It was a mistake—”

Furious, Jake shook his head and advanced toward her, the divorce papers wadded in his hand.
 
“Who is he, Nikki?
 
What’s his name?
 
I deserve to know.”

“I can’t tell you!” she sobbed and covered her face with her hands.
 
“You’ll kill him.”

“Then it’s over.”
 
He thrust the papers at her.
 

She made no attempt to catch them, and they fell to the floor like a wounded bird.
 

“You take the house.
 
You take it all.
 
I don’t give a damn.”

“Jake—” she grabbed his arm and he jerked away from her.

“Don’t touch me!” he growled.
 
“I loved you.
 
I
trusted
you.”
 

He started toward the front door,
then
spun on his heel.
 
He grabbed Nikki by her shoulders and pushed her against the wall, pinning her with his body.

It was a mistake.
 

He knew it as soon as he stared into those green eyes, as soon as he smelled her perfume and felt the heat from her body.
 
He watched the shallow throb of her pulse in her throat.

God, how was he going to live without her?

“Hit me, Jake.”
 
She jutted out her chin.
 
“Hit me.
 
Hurt me.
 
Just please don’t leave me.
 
I’ll do anything to make this better.”
 

Jake closed his eyes as Nikki pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat, then he seized her chin in his hand.

“Tell me who he is.”

“I can’t.”
 
Mascara streaked down her cheeks.

“Damn you.”
 
He swung at the wall and Nikki flinched as his fist broke through the sheetrock beside her head.

“Can’t you see?
 
I’m not protecting him.
 
I’m protecting you.
 
Don’t throw us away, Jake.”

“Me?” he asked incredulously.
 
“You’re the one who threw us away.
 
Do you think you’re the only one who had opportunities?
 
Would you care to know how many times I’ve cheated on you?”

“No,” she whispered.

“No,” he repeated.
 
“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.
 
Not once, Nikki.
 
Not one damn time.
 
I was a fool.
 
I thought our vows meant something.
 
They did to me, anyway.
 
But not anymore.”

He released her so abruptly she almost fell.

“What does that mean?” she yelled.
 
“Where are you going?
 
To see Elaine?”
 
She spat out the name and Jake clenched his fists.

Always the same old thing.

“Maybe,” he said, because he knew it would hurt her.
 

“Fine!”
 
Nikki yanked off her wedding ring and hurled it at him.
 

Jake didn’t flinch.
 
It bounced off his chest and skidded across the floor.
 

“You want a divorce, you’ve got it.
 
But you will never love anyone like you do me, Jake Hawthorne.”

“Good!” he said, and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

The phone rang, bringing him back to the present.
 
Jake ignored it.
 
He grabbed Nikki’s overnight bag and headed out the door.
 
The real estate brochures still lay in the passenger seat of the BMW, and the sight of them was like a slap.
 
Some faceless bastard had stolen everything from them because Nikki had let it happen.
 
On the way to the hospital, Jake’s mood darkened from stormy to fighting mad.

He opened the door to Nikki’s room, feeling as grim as a man opening the door to the death chamber.
 
Catherine perched at the end of Nikki’s bed and they were playing checkers.
 
Both women looked up with a smile when he walked in.
 
Those smiles faded when they saw the anger on his face.

“Jake, what’s wrong?”
 
Catherine looked alarmed.

“Nothing.”

That was what he said, but
everything
was what he felt.
 

He tossed the overnight bag on the floor and sank into the chair furthest from the bed.

“Jake, I can see that
something
—”

“I said nothing’s wrong!” Jake snapped and Catherine fell silent.

He looked up at Nikki for the first time.
 
She was staring at him wide-eyed, not with fear, but with sympathy.
 
That made him even more furious.
 
She was the last person he wanted sympathy from.

“I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” he muttered and jumped to his feet.
 

Jerking open the door, he strode down the hall and jabbed the elevator button.
 
Catherine caught up with him before the doors could open.

She grabbed his arm and said, “Jake, we need to talk.”

He gave her an exasperated look.
 
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, but Catherine was not to be deterred.
 

She led him to the waiting room.
 
With a sigh of resignation, Jake sat in one of the chairs and glared up at the ceiling.
 
Catherine shut the door behind her.

“Jake, I want to know what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.
 
“I just found out my wife has been cheating on me for God knows how long with God knows who and you ask me what’s wrong?”

“Honey, I know that you’re hurting—”

“It’s crazy,” he interrupted.
 
“I can’t confront her.
 
I can’t divorce her.
 
I can’t even ask her who it was, because she doesn’t know either.”

“Jake, the girl that’s in that room isn’t the same one who hurt you.
 
She doesn’t know what she’s done.
 
Is it fair to punish Nikki for an
offense
that she doesn’t even remember committing?”

“
I
remember, Mother.
 
I
remember what she did.
 
Is it fair that I have to look at her and pretend nothing is wrong when
I
remember everything?”

Jake paced around the room, his hands balled up into angry fists.
 
He sat back down and stared at his hands.

A woman like Nikki wasn’t meant to be married to a man with hands like these.

His hands were rough and calloused from the work he loved.
 
Women like Nikki married men with soft hands, lawyers and stockbrokers.
 
Men like his stepbrother, Eliot or her ex-boyfriend, Derek.

“I know that you’re in an impossible situation and I scarcely know what to tell you, but I can’t help but feel sorry for her now.
 
Jake, maybe this accident happened for a reason.
 
Maybe Nikki’s amnesia will allow you to start over.
 
If you didn’t still love her, you wouldn’t hurt as much as you do.”

“I don’t know if I can.”
 
He shook his head.
 
“I can’t breathe.
 
It feels like a cancer, eating away at me.
 
I just sit around, thinking of every guy we know and wondering who he is.”
 
He paused.
 
“Any day now, she could remember everything and go rushing off into the arms of another man.
 
How am I supposed to risk that?”

“Love is always a risk, Jake.
 
The girl who’s waiting for us in that room sees you as her husband.
 
In her heart, she’s never cheated on you, has never hurt you.
 
Try not to punish her.
 
She’s as innocent as a babe right now.
 
If you still love her, try to rebuild your marriage and don’t worry about what will happen when her memory comes back.
 
You can’t let your anger control you.”
 

When Jake said nothing, she continued, “Remember when we first got here, and you didn’t know whether Nikki was going to live or die?
 
Did the affair matter as much when you thought you were going to lose her forever?
 
You have to decide which is more important, to cling to your anger or hold to your marriage, because I don’t think you can have both.”

Jake pinched the bridge of his nose.
 
“I know,” he said finally.

“Nikki’s been asking me questions.
 
Questions I can’t answer.
 
She’s worried about you, Jake, and I am, too.
 
You need to think very carefully about the answers you’re going to give her.”

***

Nikki waited apprehensively for Jake and Catherine to come back.
 
How frustrating it was to see him going through so much pain and no one would tell her what caused it.
 
The phone call had scared her, and she didn’t like to consider the implications.
 
Nikki hadn’t told Catherine and was afraid to tell Jake.
 
It felt like her life was just a movie on a screen and all she could do was
sit
by helplessly and see how things turned out.