Unfinished Business (12 page)

He glances at me from the corner of his eye. His long lashes sweep down when he looks away again. “Not exactly what I was going to say.”

I look at his lips and remember the way he made me feel, just by putting his mouth on mine. Then I remember the Nick of my dreams and wonder which one is closer to reality—the tender one of the fierce one. Hopefully it’s both. “I’ve been thinking, you know, ever since the kiss. It’s obvious we both liked it. We both wanted to do something about it. So we might as well.”

He keeps staring at the ceiling, not saying anything.

“We can’t go back and pretend it never happened,” I add, to clarify. He’s quiet for so long that my heart begins to pound.

“Since you’ve been so thoughtful about this, let me ask you a question.”

It’s my turn to stare and say nothing, waiting with my heart thumping

He opens his mouth, and I wait for words to come out but none do. Instead of talking, he rolls onto his side and reaches for me with the hand that had just been behind his neck. His fingers are warm and my skin tingles. The tingle ignites a skitter of electricity that surges up my spine as quickly as it flows down through my stomach and into my pussy. The heat makes me wet and I forget that Nick wanted to say something important about us but changed his mind.

He glides his hand up my stomach then he cups my breast, flicking his thumb across my nipple. I arch my back, let out a soft sigh, wonder when he’s going to kiss me again, then realize I could go ahead and kiss him. I grab his shoulders, pull him on top of me and find his mouth with mine. The weight of his body pushes me into my bed and he uses his thighs to spread mine apart. He doesn’t waste any time, grinding his dick between my legs and kissing me back, pressing his lips to mine and forcing my mouth open. The heat of his tongue is nothing compared to the heat burning inside me.

The kiss is more intense than the other and not just because he’s on top of me. It’s like every smile, every touch, and every accidental moment of flirting have come together in a frenzied explosion of grabbing and kissing. And this real life Nick is an impossible combination of forcefulness and gentleness. His breath is on my face, his arms under my shoulders and his weight holding me down. I move my hands over his back, running my fingers across his muscles. He moans, the sound a mixture of yearning and satisfaction. Each place I put my hands, his body quivers in response. I recognize the quiver because my body is doing the same, nearly shivering with want, excitement and nervous anxiety. He moves his mouth to my neck, down my throat and works his way to my collarbone. He’s kissing me softly, as though he’s afraid I’ll disappear.

When I grab the hem of his shirt, he moves back to give me space enough to pull it up and run my palms across his chest. His ribs expand quickly as he sucks in air. I reach down and wriggle out of my yoga pants, kicking my legs with quick snaps to get them off. He braces himself with one hand and uses the other to unhook his belt and unzip his jeans. Together, we pull his pants down. His briefs go down next then off onto the floor near that single sock.

For a split second our gazes connect, acknowledging the reality that we are about to have sex. I wonder if he’s having second thoughts but he’s grabbing for the condom box, tearing it open like a madman. I admire his hard dick and his lean, solid body as he gets out a condom and covers his cock. Once he’s done, he whips off his T-shirt. I take off my tank.

After he climbs back on top of me, he holds my face in his hands and stares into my eyes. His body is still but I can feel his heart thumping and see the quickness of his breath in the way his chest moves. I can practically feel my pussy dripping. Does he possibly expect me to change my mind?
Hurry up and fuck me
, I want to say.

But I say, “Yes,” instead.

“Good.” He strokes my mouth with one thumb. The trace of a smile curves his lips right before he presses them to mine, caressing my mouth with soft determination. He takes his time, kissing each corner of my mouth. But my body is nearly shaking with lust. I don’t want him to take his time. I want him thrusting inside me, driving his dick into my slick core. I lift my hips, rubbing a thigh against his cock, urging him to put himself inside me.

He gets the idea.

His hot breath crosses over my ear as he shifts his legs so that his tip is pressing against my wet pussy lips. He eases his thick shaft into me, slowly. My body adjusts to his size as he gradually enters me, filling me so perfectly I can’t believe we have never done this before. The familiar scent of his aftershave drifts into my nose then it clicks.

This is Nick I’m doing it with.

Not some hot, random, but-already-checked-out guy. Not a fantasy Nick my mind conjured up, but the real Nick. My friend who I’ve apparently been lusting about for longer than I knew. The realization is a mixture of too many things, intense things I can’t possibly sort out. I turn my head, tell myself to stop thinking about the emotional part and enjoy the size of his dick and the way he’s sliding in and out of me, picking up speed and grunting into my ear each time he drives all the way in. It takes only seconds before all rational thoughts scatter from my mind.

The power of his arms surrounds me and I gulp in deep breaths of air, savoring his heat and scent. I wrap my legs around him and angle my hips so that he goes even deeper with each thrust.

His cock glides in and out of me, working me into a frenzy. I squeeze my ass cheeks and move my legs even higher up his back. The move does the trick and within seconds flecks of color flash in my closed eyes. A soul-stealing explosion tears through my body, and I whimper when it lingers so long that it nearly hurts. Nearly but not quite. The near pain melts into hot liquid pleasure that pours over me, softening every inch of the crazed tension that was holding my muscles so tightly.

Nick is right there with me. Grunting, panting, tense. Then melting and moaning.

Too soon, it’s over. He kisses me on the cheek, rolls off, then very politely excuses himself to take care of what needs to be taken care of.

I’m settled into the pillow, the cover pulled over me when he returns. He climbs into bed, slips his arm behind my neck and pulls me to him. My heart has settled down enough that I could probably talk normally but my throat is dry and I have no idea what to say. I was expecting a hot time, something like I’d had with Clifford. What did I get instead? An explosive experience that blew my mind.

He kisses the top of my head and pulls me closer to his naked body.

I want to say something…
Thanks? I liked it…
But how lame is that?

“Friends?” he asks softly. “We’re still friends, right?”

All of a sudden the word doesn’t sound right but I don’t have another to replace it. I swallow hard and nod.

He lets out a sigh and we lie like that until I fall asleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Positively Powerful: The Workout for Your Life

“It’s been a week since you and my sister went to Anthony’s and she wants to know what you did to Kid Rock that made him not call her.”

I rub my eyes then stare at the ceiling, tracing the path of the crack above me. The same crack I look at every morning as I think about Nick. Of course we’re still texting and talking but neither of us has said anything about the ‘friends who do it’ thing. Why? After a week? Maybe that idea of mine wasn’t such a good one. It sure seemed like it at the time. Didn’t it? I’m still clicking through my questions when Josie repeats herself.

“Is this a serious question,” I ask, “or do you have an ulterior motive? Because”—I bend my neck to look at the clock—“it’s eight a.m.”

“Did you guys actually meet him?”

While I try to wake up, I hear the ladies at Josie’s salon chatter and wonder how they can bear sitting upright this early in the morning, then I wonder what they’re talking about.

It is Friday. At least a couple of them should have somewhere to go. All I have penciled into my non-existence planner is going home on Saturday to help my dad with his birds then trying to ignore all the stares and gossip at the April Fool’s Dance. All of that will be accomplished while alternately thinking about Nick and trying to not think about Nick.

Josie is still waiting for my answer and I have to get up eventually so I push myself into a semi-sitting position. “I guess we met him, if that’s what you want to call it and I didn’t
do
anything to him. I didn’t even talk to him. I ended up talking to Sponge Bob.”

“Sponge Bob?”

“Never mind.” I throw the quilt off my legs and stand up. “I kind of doubt Kid Rock is going to call your sister for an interview. Seriously.”

“She sounded so sure he would.” After she mumbles something to somebody else, she switches gears and asks, “What are you doing tonight?”

Watching videos on YouTube so if I meet a rock star I won’t get his songs mixed up with somebody else’s.

“Nothing?” she cuts into my mental sarcasm. “Good, because one of my clients gave me two tickets to a one-night seminar on the power of positive thinking.”

What does that have to do with me?

“I know you want to go. Be at my apartment at seven. It starts at seven-thirty. I’ll drive.”

Inwardly, I bristle. “No, I think I have a date. With my couch.”

And my fantasies. And insecurities.

“That’s stupid. You’re going because I know you want to go. You’re just being stubborn.”

Me, stubborn?

I’m not being stubborn, given my current mindset I just don’t know if positive thinking is for me. It sounds so time consuming…and would probably require effort on my part. It may also require me to be completely honest with myself and others. A seminar…it’s…so public. It’s one thing to strive for self-improvement in the privacy of your own home, but going public like that…it’s a statement. Worse than that…it’s a commitment.

“If you don’t come with me, I’m going to tell Nick the stuff about Clifford that you didn’t tell him yourself.”

“All right.” I give in with a groan. She doesn’t know the half of it, does she? Thank goodness, because as long as Nick and I keep pretending that night didn’t happen, I don’t know what’s going on either. “I’ll go but we’re going out afterward.”

She agrees and we hang up.

* * * *

Twelve hours later, Josie and I are at Wayne State and one of us is geeked. The other one isn’t.

A screen hanging at the front of the auditorium reads, ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’. All around Josie and me, thirty-something ladies wearing expensive casual wear are chatting and digging through their purses.

Already, I realize I am out of it. I left my purse in Josie’s car and my Old Navy jeans cost twelve dollars fifty.

How do I get myself into these things?

I cast a sideways glance at Josie. She’s talking self-improvementese to a short-haired, pixie woman seated in the row in front of us.

Effectiveness seminars, past life regressions, twelve-step organizational plans.

Josie doesn’t belong here. Could anybody be more positive thinking?

She works endless hours a week and still has the energy and desire to start her own business. A weird business, sure, but from what she says it’s actually making money.

The question, why are we here, drifts hopelessly around my mouth like a tiny hot air balloon looking for a place to land in a swamp.

Josie leans over and says, softly, “You said you wanted to get yourself together and work harder at North Pointe.”

How did she know that? Did I say that? I need to shut up.

I start to defend my stupidity by saying I’ve just been reading too many magazines but she shushes me. “Here she comes!”

Music swells out of the walls and the lights dim. The platoon of thirty-somethings sit up. Even I sit up.

A noise too loud to be a real human voice erupts from the walls. “You do not need to be defeated by anything. You do not need to be a whiner who struggles aimlessly through life, weighed down by resentment and anger.

“Tomorrow and every day after for the rest of your life you will be full of satisfaction.”

All the refugees applaud and Josie nudges me enthusiastically. The noise of it all makes my skull vibrate.

I scan the stage. Where did that huge voice come from? The only person on the stage is a tiny lady in a pink suit with a gray, chin-length bob.

It’s her yelling like that? How can one tiny person make so much noise?

“Welcome to the power to be positive!” Her words boom out again. “This one night will change the rest of your life!”

The pixie mom in front of us claps so hard that her little shoulders shake up and down. The music builds again and lavender strobe lights roll across the stage until they stop on the loud lady. She raises her hands to the crowd and smiles the huge grin of a lady making big bucks to yell at people she can’t see.

I smirk and lean back in my padded chair but I still listen. How could I not with her voice booming into every nook and cranny?

Josie has her iPad resting on her knee and she taps in key points as the phrases flash onto the screen. A whirlwind of encouragement whips around the auditorium and spins us all into a frenzy of affirmation. One by one, the loud lady’s commandments roll up and Josie writes them down.

1. Believe that you are entitled to what you want!

2. Surround yourself with positive people and situations!

3. Break through your worries and personal problems!

4. Keep track of your successes and keep pressing forward!

That’s all good stuff and I think I’ve read it before. Probably in Oprah’s magazine. And in Caroline’s copies of
Redbook
. If I’ve read it, it’s a sure thing that these ladies have read it too, because they look to be the got-it-going-on together types. So why did we all have to come here to hear it again?

I glance at my watch. And why has it taken two and a half hours to get it said?