Unfaithful (62 page)

“Christ!” Jackie swore. There was blood streaming from her nose.

“I'm
sorry!” Shona cried, scrambling around in her handbag for some tissues to stem the flow of blood. “Here,” she thrust some scrunched up paper at her sister. She stared at Jackie, ashen-faced, aghast at what she’d done.

“Is everything okay?” a waiter appeared in front of them, full of concern.

“Everything's fine. We’d like a table for two, please. We'll be back in a minute.” Shona grabbed her sister's hand and led her towards the ladies' room. She wiped her face and gently dabbed it with water. “Hold your head back and pinch your nose.”

Jackie did as instructed and eventually the blood flow subsided.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean that to happen,” Shona apologised again as she passed her sister some concealer to patch up her face.

“It's not broken.
I'm sure I'll be fine,” Jackie grinned at her in the mirror and they both burst out laughing.

“You look like you've gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson,” Shona gasped, clutching her side. Her face had already started to swell quite dramatically.

“It will be interesting trying to explain this at Emmett's parent-teacher meeting tomorrow afternoon. The teachers will probably blame Colm.”

“How is Colm anyway?”

Jackie sighed. “Oh, I don't know. It's such hard work sometimes. I'm not sure if I did the right thing telling him about my affair. Maybe I should have continued carrying my burden of guilt.”

“You definitely did the right thing. Secrets like that tend to creep into a relationship and destroy it like a slow rot. It's good to have it out in the open. Imagine how he would have felt if he'd found out from someone else.”

“Would it really have made that much difference? He couldn't have taken it any worse.”

“It could have been a lot worse. He could have left.” Shona paused to let her words sink in. Jackie turned pale. “Come on. Let's go and grab some lunch, I'm starving.”

“Didn't you say you were starving?” Jackie asked as she watched her sister push her food around her plate. “It's not like me to be finished a meal before you.”

“Thanks a lot. Are you trying to say I'm fat?”

“Don't be ridiculous! You’re not fat. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I'm trying to keep an eye on my waistline.”

“You don't need to lose any weight. Those pilates classes have really paid off. You're super-toned. I could do with a few exercise classes myself.” She self-consciously patted her stomach which wasn't as flat as usual due to her overindulgence in chocolate cakes. “I wish I was one of those people who can't eat when their stressed. I'm the opposite; the more unhappy I am, the more I stuff my face. Oh well, I've already ruined today's diet so I may as well have some dessert.” A waiter seemed to magically appear at the table. “I'll have the chocolate profiteroles please. Shona, do you fancy anything?”

“Not for me, thanks.”

“It's not like you to skip dessert. Ooh, is there someone you're trying to impress?”

Shona blushed.

“Who's the lucky man?” Jackie smiled indulgently.

“It's nobody, really.”

“Come on, I can tell you've got your eye on someone.”

“It's Adrian.”

“I see, that explains your tetchiness earlier.”

“I wasn't tetchy.”

“Okay, let's not go there again. I don't really want another beating,” she teased. “He's very cute, isn't he?”

“Yeah, I suppose
,” Shona tried to be nonchalant.

“There's no suppose about it. Tall, blonde hair, great personality; what more could you want?”

“I don't know. We went out on a date last week and I thought we had a fantastic time but he hasn't arranged anything since. He hasn't asked for my number or even mentioned our night out together. It's weird. He’s behaving as if it never happened.”

“How's he been at work?”

“He hasn't been in the office much. He's been with clients for most of the week. It almost feels like he's avoiding me. I don't get it.”

“Maybe he's trying to play hard to get,” Jackie suggested.

“Maybe or maybe I shouldn't have told him about Mark.”

“Why on earth did you tell him about Mark? That was years ago. You didn’t have to tell him your entire life story, especially not on your first date.”

“I don't know. I suppose I wanted to be honest from the start.”

“That's
too much information for a first date, don't you think?”

“Apparently
, thanks for stating the obvious.”

“What are you going to do?”

“There's not a lot I can do. I asked him out so it's up to him to take the initiative and ask me out now. I like him but I'm not going to throw myself at him.”

“Maybe you should pretend you're going out on a date with someone else.”

“I'm too old for those silly, infantile games. He's either interested or he's not, it's as simple as that.”

“I don't agree with that philosophy. There's no harm in givin
g Cupid a helping hand.”

“What do you suggest?” she couldn’t resist asking.

“You need to make him chase you. Try to be mysterious, less available. Men always want what they can have.”

“Maybe.” S
he seemed doubtful. “I suppose it's about time I started learning from my previous dating disasters.”

“That's the spirit.” Jackie was starting to warm to her subject. There was nothing she loved more than a new project. She pulled a pen and notebook from her bag.

“What are you doing?” Shona peered at her sister as she began to scribble furiously.

“I'm writing a list of dating advice.”

“Oh no,” Shona groaned. “Let's not get too technical.”

“Number One,” Jackie wrote at the top of the
page. “Let him come to you.”

“What does that even mean?” Shona stared at her in confusion.

“It means stop trying so hard. We both know you have a tendency to fall head over heels in love with a man straight away. Then you start obsessing over him and imagining what your children would look like. How many times have I heard you say “he's the one”?”

Shona cringed, but she couldn't deny it.

“I think you should try to be more selective. If a man even smiles in your direction, you’re heart starts beating faster. You have to decide what you need in a partner. I’ve had friends who actually had a list of qualities they wanted in their ideal man and they refused to settle for less.”

“Don’t you think a list is a little extreme? Surely I should follow my heart.”

“There’s a big difference between having standards and having no standards at all. There’s no need to be too demanding or overly-critical but you should try to take off the rose-tinted glasses where men are concerned and see them for who and what they are; positives and negatives. You have a lot to offer so you should want the same or more in your potential boyfriend.”

“I can’t help it. It’s like my head always rules my heart and I get completely carried away.”

“You should work on your confidence and start believing in yourself,” Jackie continued. “You deserve to have a man who treats you well and you shouldn't have to chase him or beat him into submission. If he's not interested, accept it and move on.”

“That's my biggest problem; the accepting it and moving on part.”

“Look how long it took you to finally end your relationship with Mark and that was toxic right from the start.”

“I couldn’t help believing him. He seemed very sincere.”

“I know he broke your heart.”

“I wanted him to be something he wasn’t. I had an idealised fantasy of our relationship going on in my head. I had so many plans for our future together, so many hopes and dreams, but they were all shattered when I finally understood he never had any intention of leaving his wife for me. I could see us getting married and starting a family of our own. How could I have been so deluded?”

“You planned your whole life around him. No wonder you were devastated when it ended.”

“One major lesson I learned from my so-called relationship with Mark is that the only person who can truly make me happy is me, but I still can’t help imagining marriage and babies when I meet a guy I like.”

“Maybe you’re addicted to love.”

“I think you’ve been reading too many self-help books.”

“Oh, come on, being in love is the best feeling in the world. You can’t stop thinking about him, obsessing over him. It’s like an addiction.”

“I can’t argue with you there. I haven’t been able to get Adrian out of mind.”

“You need to stop settling for a few crumbs of his attention and start demanding more.”

“Do you think I should ask him out again?” Shona asked eagerly. It was the most animated she’d been all afternoon.

“Absolutely not! Have you been listening to a word I’ve said? Let him ask you out, but take him off the pedestal you’ve put him on. It’s not healthy.”

“Why does love have to be such a rollercoaster? Why can’t I have a straightforward relationship like you and Colm?”

“There’s nothing straightforward about our relationship! Trust me; marriage is hard work.”

“What are you saying? Do you regret not leaving Colm?”

“No, of course not, I still love him and I truly want our marriage to work.”

“I don’t regret any of my relationships. I’ve learnt something about myself from every relationship I’ve ever had. At least now I know what I want in
life; a marriage and children, but I wonder sometimes how many more frogs I’ll have to kiss before I kiss my prince.”

“Why don’t you take your time and lighten up? You put too much pressure on your relationships too soon. You’re young, free and single. You should be having fun and focusing on yourself, not obsessing over a man. One day, when you’re least expecting it, you’ll meet someone who’s on the same wavelength as you and you’ll live happily ever after.”

“Really?” Shona asked doubtfully.

“Yes, really and truly. You are one of the kindest, most caring, loving people I’ve ever known but nobody can ever love you as much as you can love yourself. You are such a strong person; you’ve been let down and had your heart broken but you always pick yourself up and start again without any anger or cynicism. I admire that quality in you. One thing I’ve learned from my marriage is that I am responsible for creating my reality. I control my life and my happiness, not Colm or anyone else, just me. We have many relationships and roles in our lives; wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt. Relationships are wonderful; they open our hearts, they make us laugh, they make
us cry, they make us question, but it’s easy to forget that the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one we have with ourselves. Don’t settle. Wait until you find someone who loves the real you, just the way you are.”

“Thanks, Jackie,” Shona beamed. “I hope he finds me soon because I'm sick and tired of waiting.”

“About time, we were considering sending out a search party,” Penelope tapped her watch to emphasise her point.

“Get over yourself,” Shona retorted. “I have no problem covering for you when you're off on one of your so-called meetings.”

Penelope quickly shut up and turned mutinously back to her computer.

“I've fixed your computer,” Adrian piped up.

“Wow! That was quick.”

“It wasn't anything serious. You had too many files on your desktop so I saved them into a new folder on your D-drive.”

“You're a lifesaver. Thanks so much, Adrian. I really appreciate it.”

“Any time.”

Chapter 14

“You are going to love me!” Adrian burst through the door of Covert Eye Investigations and flung himself down on a chair.

“Have you ever heard of knocking?” Maggie asked indignantly. “I could have been with a client.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he waved his hand dismissively at her.

“This better be good.”

“Take a look at that.” He rummaged around in his bag for a moment and plonked a hard-drive on her desk.

She stared at it contemptuously. “What is it?”

“It's a hard-drive.”

“I can see that. I've analysed hundreds of them in my life, what's so special about this particular one?”

“This, my dear, is Jackie Fitzpatrick's hard-drive.”

“Ooh,” she let out a long breath. “How did you get your hands on this little beauty?”

He tapped the side of his nose and winked. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Spit it out. I'm not in the mood for childish games.”

“Lighten up. Jackie gave it to me,” he replied, purposely letting his words hang in the air for dramatic effect.