Unfaithful (16 page)

I made a face at him. “The film created by James Cameron at a price tag of two billion dollars!” From his expression I guessed he had no idea what I was talking about. “Come on, haven’t you ever seen
Avatar
?” His eyebrows rose higher. “You must at least have heard of it!” I insisted. He shook his head, a bewildered look on his face.

I continued to get waves of goosebumps. Clearly my body wasn’t used to being in that place and handling the intense emotions it triggered in me. Or more likely, my soul was struggling, begging to be allowed to return there where it felt it belonged. The sensation was both electrifying and frightening.

The air had a strange, almost tangible consistency. I found myself moving my hand through it, studying it. It was hard to perceive colors as I knew them; brilliant silver particles filled the air, flowing over every surface. Everything shone like a diamond struck by moonlight or the harmonious shimmer of a mirror of water at sunset.

“This is why people on earth are so attracted to everything that sparkles.” I looked at Evan. He’d just answered my thoughts. “A part of them still remembers,” he whispered. I drank in his explanation, too entranced by my surroundings to wonder how he seemed to be reading my mind.

The light was warm, like the moment just before sunset or just after dawn. It must still have been daytime there in paradise and yet there was no sun in the sky. In its place, a warm moon watched us from above with its silvery rays reflecting a delicate shimmering light. It was so close and so immense it felt like I could reach out and touch it.

It was as if day and night, sun and moon, darkness and light had agreed to coexist in perfect harmony. A happy medium between the golden rays of day and the pale diamond reflections of night. It occurred to me that on earth our sun and moon were also being punished, forced to chase each other without ever meeting, while here they could unite, melting together in their love.

The particles in the air reflected the moonglow, filling the sky with incredible colors like the northern lights. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sky: a warm, delicate mantle of red and golden shades that glowed above us like stardust, flowing like a silk scarf stirred by the wind. This place seemed to have been carved out of the inside of a diamond with light shining through it.

“Come with me.” Evan took my hand. “I want to show you something.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, following him without protest.

“You’ll see.” Evan was bursting with enthusiasm and I was drowning in my emotions.

The vegetation around us was lush, an infinity of harmonious colors. Evan led me through a thick patch of woods full of massive flowers. I stopped to study one from close up, too fascinated to resist. There were hundreds of them, all as tall as me, lined up one behind the other like sentinels, forming rows of contrasting colors from deep purple with pink streaks to cherry red sprayed with golden reflections to night blue with silvery speckles.

Evan watched me silently, pleased by my enthusiasm. I couldn’t imagine how he must be feeling. This was the first time he’d ever shared the emotions this place instilled with anyone.

I stroked a silky flower bud for a few seconds and something seemed to stir inside it in response, making me pull back instinctively in alarm. To my amazement the flower slowly opened before my eyes with a graceful movement. The next moment, the other buds opened as well, forming a fan of colors that extended as far as my eye could see. I stared with fascination at the rainbow that had come to life at my touch. In a matter of seconds the entire host of flowers had awakened, releasing shimmering specks of stardust that sparkled on my skin.

Something glowed inside one of the blossoms, catching my attention. I frowned, repressing my urge to touch the silvery light.

“Those are Sephires,” Evan whispered at my side. I could feel him looking at me, enjoying my wonder.

“They’re amazing.” My voice was only slightly louder than his.

Evan seemed to hold his breath as I said this. Had I done something wrong? Before I could ask him what, the light glimmered and moved. Then, as if each flower could communicate with its neighbor, they all lit up in unison, trembling. Countless luminous points rose into the air like a silent swarm of bees, whirling around us without making a sound.

My mind was lost in the dazzling display. Tiny, beautiful creatures danced around us like fireflies in the night. I couldn’t remember seeing anything more spectacular in my whole life. My skin tingled as the tiny stars drifted past and it felt like the sky was at my fingertips. Evan and I exchanged a look that said more than a thousand words. His eyes glowed like moonstones.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming,” I whispered in a tiny voice.

“You’re not dreaming,” he replied, smiling.

“It’s all so incredible. And magical. How can a place like this exist?”

“It always has,” he whispered, reluctantly leading me away. “Deep in their hearts, everyone keeps a memory of it. They’ve simply forgotten to believe in it.”

“I feel like I could stay here forever,” I confessed.

“I can sense that,” he said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye, seeming slightly worried that I felt that way. After a few steps he chuckled and I looked at him suspiciously.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“You are,” he said, earning himself a sharp look from me. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that here I can read you more clearly than anywhere else, even more than in your dreams.” His lips brushed my ear. “Here, your soul is completely naked to my eyes,” he whispered with a hint of mischievousness. “The energy your spirit draws from this place is so strong it keeps your body from hiding what you’re feeling. Every single emotion is revealed to me like a reflection in a mirror.”

“And reading my emotions is that amusing?” I asked, embarrassed.

“I can’t deny it.” He laughed. “Don’t get mad. To me this world is as real as yours is to you, and I love sharing in your excitement, Gemma. I’m happy I can read your emotions just now. Couldn’t be happier, in fact.”

I opened my mouth but closed it again. “Is this what you wanted to show me?” I asked after a while.

“No, but we’re almost there,” he said.

The path we were on grew steeper. Although I felt an explosion of emotion, something suddenly worried me—an unusual sense of uneasiness. “Evan!” I noticed my voice trembling. “Are you sure there won’t be consequences for this?” After all, who was I? Why should I be granted such a privilege? “Don’t you think we’re overdoing it? Maybe we shouldn’t be transgressing in this way,” I murmured as my uneasiness rose. I held my breath in the silence preceding his reply.

“I can’t lie to you.” I paled. “I’m not entirely sure there won’t be consequences for me for bringing you here. But I’m willing to run the risk. Let them punish me. It’s worth it,” he said solemnly.

“You’re crazy,” I said, shaking my head.

“Love has made me crazy but it’s the sweetest form of madness and I accept it willingly.” He winked at me, his smile tender.

I tried to take in as much information as possible, hoping to remember this place forever. Even the colors glowed with hues that didn’t look natural to me—or more likely the ones I was used to were the unnatural ones.

Everything suddenly made sense in my life. Who I was, why I existed . . . what was in store for me. No matter what happened, this was my fate.

I would have remained in this state of unconscious exaltation if meeting Evan’s gaze hadn’t pulled me into his melancholy. As long as I was human and mortal, I could never be part of his world, but once my fate had made this place my home, Evan would be the one who couldn’t be part of it. Death would separate us forever because Evan had been banished and would never be able to see me again. The sadness of this reality overwhelmed me. Within moments his pain had become mine and together we slid into the dark pit of that awareness.

“It’s not fair,” I whispered bitterly. Something that had eluded me, obscured by my excitement, now crashed down onto me like a deadly wave: we were all alone.

“It’s so quiet. No one’s here.” I listened carefully. All I could hear was the sound of flowing water somewhere not far away. The breeze drew my attention, caressing my skin with its rich scent. I saw a moose raise its head, interrupting its grazing. “Can’t you Subterraneans even see each other?”

“It’s no problem for me. I’m used to it,” he said, but his tone of voice belied his words.

“It can’t be forever,” I protested, as if my opinion mattered. “It can’t, really.” My frustration was replaced by guilt. My presence in Evan’s life had led him to give up everything that was dear to him, to give up hope. “What you did was done out of love. That should make some kind of difference.”

“No one can know for sure,” he murmured, sounding defeated, his tone as distant as his gaze.

“But they give you missions, orders to carry out. All this must have some kind of purpose!”

“I’ve been telling myself that for centuries,” he said.

“That can’t be
it
. It can’t. Every flame eventually dies out. It’s inevitable. And my life won’t last forever,” I reluctantly reminded him. For the first time, the words took on new meaning in my mind. If dying meant belonging to this world, death per se didn’t frighten me any more. What terrified me was the thought of what it would inevitably take from me:
Evan
. Although my soul longed to return to this place, I would give it all up without a second’s hesitation if only it meant having the chance to stay with Evan. And wasn’t that exactly what he’d done for me? Until now I probably hadn’t fully understood what his sacrifice meant.

“You’ll manage to redeem your soul. I’m sure of it,” I promised him, resolute. No one deserved it more than he did.

“It’s not so important—not as long as you’re still alive.” For a moment I thought I heard a quiver in his voice. “And maybe I’ll find a solution for this too.” He forced a laugh, then stopped abruptly as if he wasn’t really convinced.

“It’s not so important?” I replied, annoyed. “How can you say something like that? I don’t need to read your subconscious! You think I don’t know you well enough to understand what you’re feeling?” His eyes narrowed to slits. “I know perfectly well how much you want to atone and see your mother again.” His gaze wavered as if he hadn’t been expecting that. I tried hard to hold his eyes. “You’ve never told me that but I know it’s true.”

“No.” He looked away. “It seems you don’t know me well enough. Otherwise you’d know that you’re the only thing that matters to me now. Maybe there was a time when my soul being damned was a burden, a time when I felt lonely, useless, empty, and my only goal was to cling to the thought of the one person I had ever really loved. But then you arrived.” His hand slid into my hair and his eyes on mine grew tender. We were forehead to forehead. “What sense is there in living without a heart, Gemma? Because my heart beats with yours,” he whispered. “My very breath is bound to yours.” Holding my gaze, he laid his hand on my chest over my heart. I felt it beat under his fingers. “If your heart stopped it would silence mine forever too. I couldn’t live even one minute knowing you were gone. I wouldn’t be able to stand it—not in this world or any other.”

“Don’t say that! Don’t even think it!” I cried, devastated. Now I was sure he was telling the truth. “You would be the one to break my heart. I wouldn’t be able to bear it. I need to know you exist and that you’re alive somewhere in the world or it would be like losing you all over again.” I realized how self-centered it sounded only when I’d shared the thought with him. It was strange how the prospect of spending my whole life with him—if I was allowed to live it—wasn’t enough any more in view of his immortality.

Evan wrapped his arms around me and his voice caressed my ear tenderly. “All these centuries spent without you have been so meaningless,” he whispered. “If I’d known I would find you one day, I’d have lived just to see you breathe, Gemma. I can’t lose you now that I’ve found you. I won’t let it happen. No one will ever separate us without killing us both. Not even death. That’s a promise.” He held me close and I breathed in his scent.

We were alone, he and I, lost in this paradise all our own.

Evan led me through an area dotted with trees of all different sizes. Their branches spread out, weaving harmonious motifs along the path as if playing together. The leaves reflected the silvery light of the moon, and the strange heat it emitted warmed me to my bones. My senses were intoxicated by the trail of aromas and the smell of fruit that filled the air. The flowing water wasn’t far away any more; the sound was louder now.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” I reminded him.

“It’s a surprise,” he said with a smile. He ducked his head under a large oak branch and turned back to make sure I didn’t run into it.

The forest was full of fragrances. I could already smell the scent of water, fresh and heady. A cool, invigorating breeze caressed my skin and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again Evan was standing in front of me, his hand resting on a long branch that hung down from what I guessed was a willow tree. “Ready?” he asked. I looked at him, full of anticipation. There was no need for me to answer. Evan pulled the willow back as if it had been a natural curtain and the sound of water became deafening. I moved forward, pushing the branches aside, and stopped short, stunned.