Authors: Sarah Ripley
“What happened to Anique?”
Seito and Kian exchanged glances.
“We couldn’t find her,” Seito said. “By the time Lina went back to look she was gone. But Micah and Lina are
out searching right now. They’ll find her, Sobek, too.”
“Will they kill them?”
“Maybe,” Seito said. “And don’t go giving me that guilty look. Don’t you dare feel sorry for them! They deserve it. They’re not going to quit on their own and we can’t have them running off to find backup. We’ve had enough trouble dealing with two of them. Imagine if fifty more show up?”
I smiled. “You’re not nearly as
impartial as you want people to think.”
“Neutral’s got nothing to do with it,” Seito said. Placing his hand on my toes, he gave me a quick squeeze before getting to his feet. “It’s more to do with what’s right and proper. Speaking of which, I’m going to go find something to do for a bit and give the two of you some alone time. I think
you need to talk.”
He was out the door before I could protest.
Seito’s sudden disappearance only made Kian tenser. He sat by the side of the bed, tapping his foot nervously against the carpet. I could see that he wanted to talk but he didn’t want my rejection. He was terrified that I was still going to refuse him, even after everything that happened.
Watching the agony on his face, feeling the emotions as they coursed from his fingers into mine, I knew he was truly sorry even if he couldn’t say it. But I still wanted an explanation, I deserved that much.
“Kian, I need to know the truth.”
“I should have been there,” he said. “I’m such an idiot. If I hadn’t screwed things up so badly this never would have happened. I should have been honest with you. I shouldn’t have given you a reason to push me away.”
“Now’s your chance.” It took a lot of effort but I managed to pull myself up into a sitting position. My stomach burned and protested but I ignored it. I needed to be looking him straight in the eyes when he told me.
“I should have warned you,” he said. “I should have explained things.”
“You did warn me,” I said. And he had. Back at the truck stop when he’d first unleashed everything about my past.
Keep in mind, not all those memories will be good. I hope you’ll forgive me when the time comes.
“I should have been more specific,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because this was the first time.” Kian let go of my hand and stood up, moving over towards the window. It was as if he was trying to keep himself as far away from me as possible. “In all the times I’ve been with you, you’ve never remembered.”
A flame sparked in my stomach that had nothing to do with my injuries. “And that made it ok? Just because you’ve never been caught? Just because I never found out the truth?”
“No! I just thought...”
“What?” The anger and frustration was pouring from my body and I couldn’t stop it. “What did you think?”
“I didn’t want this to happen,” he said. “I never wanted you to know. The way you’re looking at me. You hate me. I never wanted you to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. Please come back.” I patted the bedspread beside me.
He pulled away from the window and sat down at the edge of the bed. He didn’t reach out to take my hand.
“How many times have you killed me?”
“What?” He looked away from me but not before I saw the shame in his eyes.
“How many? Answer me.” I reached out towards him, ignoring the pain in my body as I stretched out my arm.
“Twenty-one.”
The room began to spin. I lay back against the pillow, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I was so cold. How could he have done this to me? He was supposed to love me. He said he’d do whatever it took to keep me safe and I believed him.
“I’m four thousand years old,” he said. “I’ve been with the council for most of my life. I had one of the highest positions, I sat beside Aelin and debated the pros and cons of Unfaded and Human affairs. I made laws and bent rules. Almost all other Unfaded answered to me. I’m not going to say I was brainwashed by them but I believed. I helped make decisions, sent people to hunt you and your sister down. I was very good at my job. You’ve got to understand, the council was not about doing evil, not like Rafferty and his followers. I’ve always stood on the side for preserving humanity. I was taught that Dialexa and Apani were weapons that needed to be stopped and there was only one way.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You did.” Kian held out his arm towards me. “Take my hand, Mai. You’ll know if I’m lying. My energy will tell the truth.”
I reached out and accepted his grasp. His fingers closed over mine and it was like opening up a gateway. Energy poured over my body, flowing through my hand and straight into the pits of my stomach, washing away the pain and all the emptiness. I could feel his thoughts and they were filled with the exact same hurt as me.
“Remember when I said I first met you?” Kian moved closer towards me on the bed. “It was along the banks of the Thames and I’d found you in front of the Globe Theatre, trying to sneak into see Shakespeare. You were only eleven years old. Just a child. At first I was pleased. I thought it would be easier to kill you being you were so young. I approached you with thoughts of how to lure you into an alley where I could get the job done quickly. But as it turns out, killing a child wasn't something I could do, no matter how dangerous I believed you were. The innocence was too strong. So I took you to the theatre instead, trying to gather up my nerves.”
Everything he was saying was true. This much I knew for certain. There was no way he could open his emotions this widely and deceive me. Words can always lie but the soul can’t.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I stayed with you. I thought maybe I’d wait a bit till you got older. I had time to spare. The others were searching for you thousands of miles away. The council was in London, they never would have dreamed that you’d be under their very noses. I kept my position by day and visited with you every evening. I brought food and medical supplies to your family. I became drawn to you, first as such an innocent child and then later as a beautiful young woman. But by then it was too late and I was in love with you.
“I began to question the council. Maybe I was blind but I couldn’t see how you could have done the evil things that our history claimed. I wanted to know why in over four thousand years no one had ever tried to come up with an alternative to simply killing you. Why hadn’t anyone bothered to try and break the curse? Aelin wouldn’t give me these answers so I decided to seek out Rafferty. You didn’t want me to leave but I didn’t listen. I was obsessed with finding the truth. It took me months to search out Rafferty and when I finally found him, he didn’t have answers either. I came back angry and confused. I was torn. I was supposed to be serving my people by helping stop the evil. But at the same time I wanted to follow my heart. I needed to see what would happen if you lived.”
“And what happened?”
“You didn’t live.” Kian let go of my hand but not before I felt the tremendous weight bearing down on his soul. “When I returned the council was rejoicing. You were gone. I had made a crucial mistake by not telling you what you were. I should have warned you. At least then you might have stood a chance. They found Dialexa two months later and the cycle started over again. But I was no longer as convinced about their intent. Shortly after, I left the council and started my search all over again. Only this time I was looking for something different.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and they’ve cost me dearly,” Kian closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. He was trying to stop the pain. “Every time you die, the cycle continues. It’s no longer about good and evil. It’s become a game. I don’t think half the Unfaded know what they’re fighting against. I believe that if either Dialexa or you came into your full powers, you’d no longer be a threat. Five thousand years is forever and you’ve both been living human lives over and over. It gets into your soul, that’s something that the others don’t understand. You’ve lost your Unfaded ways because you haven’t had the chance to live them again. I’ve met Dialexa several times and she was never the big evil everyone claimed her to be. She was nothing more than a scared girl half the time. All I need to do is keep the two of you alive long enough to prove it. Only then can the cycle be broken.”
“Do you believe that?”
“With all my heart.”
I sunk back into the bed. No matter how tough I wanted to pretend I was—my body was still quite weak.
“I’m sorry, Mai,” he said. “I’m not a good guardian. I haven’t been successful in case you haven’t noticed. But I should have warned you that I’m an expert at killing you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I’m still alive,” I said. “You must be doing something right.”
He smiled but it wasn’t very convincing.
“I spoke with Lina a few days ago,” I told him. “She got on my case, telling me that I needed to be more scared. But I’ve never been scared, not even when Anique came at me with that knife. It’s because you’re always close, even when you’re not by my side. You make me feel safe. That’s got to count for something.”
“I guess so.”
“Lie down with me.” I shifted over a bit on the bed, ignoring the pain which wasn’t as bad as it had been when I first woke up. It was incredible how fast my body was working to fix itself. Kian hadn’t been kidding when he said Unfaded healed fast. But he’d never mentioned that they could heal others too.
Kian curled up beside me, his body warm and soft against mine. Tentatively, he pulled his arm around me and I leaned against his shoulder. I could feel the hardness of his biceps, all his strength pulling me close. Regardless of how insecure he was at that moment, it was impossible not to feel completely secure in his arms. I rested my ear on his chest and listened to his heart beating to a soothing rhythm.
“Déjà vu,” I said. “Only the last time we were in this position it was you who was suffering.”
“Serendipity,” he responded and he kissed me on the top of my head. “Fate’s given us a second chance. Let’s not waste it.”
“Thank you,” I said. “For Granny. I don’t know how you did it but I can’t ever thank you enough. It was the greatest thing you could have done for me. You never mentioned that Unfaded could cure humans.”
“Most of them can’t,” he said. “I wasn’t even sure I could do it. It took a lot of energy from me. When you saw me I could barely stand. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wiped out in my life.”
“How did you do it?”
“I untangled her brain,” he said. “I spent the last week reading up on Alzheimer’s disease on the internet. The brain gets Neurofibrillary tangles. I sent her brain a burst of power that managed to sort some things out. I can’t guarantee it’ll be permanent. She might end up regressing.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “You’ve given her life again, even it’s for a short time it’s still better than nothing. She’s going to stay with us now. No more nursing home.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“It is,” I said and a giant yawn escaped my lips.
“You should rest,” he said as he pulled the blankets up around me. “It’s late and you’ve lost a great deal of energy. You’ll need more in order to heal.”
“What time is it?”
“After midnight.”
“Oh, God, I hope Dad didn’t call me. Where’s my phone?” I struggled to get up but Kian tightened his grip so I couldn’t move.
“Relax,” he said. “No one called. Your phone’s been by the table all night. I kept it out in case he called. Seito said you mentioned they were going to be away for the weekend. Good thing too, I probably would have been up on kidnapping charges. It’s not like I could have brought you home or to the hospital. There would have been too many questions that I can’t explain. One thing about humans, they don’t deal with things outside the norm and speed healing is definitely abnormal.”