Unexpected Love (13 page)

Thirty-two

Taylor legs did not enough strength to get out and her arms and shoulders were so tired.  It was a tight fit and she had so little room.  The metal was closing in on her, threatening to crush her. 

She had been able to get turned around to face the opening but she had to fight back panic.  She needed to get her legs under her, which she could not.  How was she going to get out?  She couldn’t stand the thought of being in there any longer.  She put her head down for a moment.  She had an overwhelming sense of being all alone.  Her breaths were more like gasps. 

She had to get out.  Somehow.  She was breathing hard, taking in big gulps of air.  She knew she was going to hyperventilate if she didn’t calm down, but she was past the point of being calm now.  She needed to get out.  She thought about the car wreck she had been in.  She had not remembered it but if this was any indication of how it might have been, she was glad she did not remember.

“Crap, Taylor.  You just had to get yourself into a mess, didn’t you?  What would Sean say if he could see you now?  I told him I was trouble.”  Great, now she’s talking to herself out loud.

She looked up to find a hand reaching into the opening.

“Taylor, calm down and breathe normally.  Take my hand.” Sean?  Had he heard what she just said?

She said nothing.  She was gasping for breath.  She wanted to collapse into a ball and pretend she was outside in the fresh air and sunshine.

Sean said in a calm voice although he was not feeling calm, “Taylor, take a deep breath.   Calm down.  Nice deep breaths, in through the nose and out through your mouth.  You can do it. Take my hand.”  He waited tensely for her to respond.  He could barely keep himself from shouting at her to get out now.  “Taylor, do you hear me?  Take my hand,” he knew he sounded harsher than he should have but he needed her to get out.

She grabbed his hand and held tight.  She took some deep breaths and immediately felt better and not so alone.  Sean was there.  He always seemed to be there when she needed him the most.  “Did you hear what I just said to myself?”

“Hear what?  I’m going to pull so just relax.”  He had heard but this was not the time to discuss it.  He pulled her hard and she twisted her body to get through.  She felt a sharp pain in her thigh but did her best to push with her legs to keep moving. 

Sean knew she did not have the strength to push herself out so he pulled hard but carefully. It was difficult, she was almost a dead weight and he had to be careful because of the jagged edges, small area, and crushed window.  And she was getting panicky. 

She had to squeeze and twist, but they made progress.  The fireman offered to help, but Sean told him he had it.

When she finally got her head and shoulders out, she dragged deep breaths of fresh air into her lungs.  He looked into her eyes, “Are you okay?”

All she could do was nod her head yes.  She wrapped her arms around his neck.  He murmured, “I’ve got you,” as he pulled her the rest of the way out. 

Her legs buckled but Sean held her up.  She took in big gulps of fresh air but she was trying to slow her breathing.  Hyperventilating was not going to help.  Sean picked her up and carried away from the van.  She looked over his shoulder as a fire started and the firemen hosed the road and car.

“There was gas all over the road?”  Her situation sunk in.

Sean said, “Yes.”  He put her down near the ambulance.

She turned her head to see the paramedic shake his head as he stood over Beth.   “She’s gone.”

Everyone looked heart sick as he covered her little body.  Sean was pulling her away, but she broke into tears and leaned into him, grabbing his shirt.  She could barely stand but he was holding her.

He whispered, “You did all you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

He said softly, “It was everything.  You crawled in there and let them know someone cared.  She didn’t die alone.  That matters.”

Maggie came over and wiped away the tears from Taylor’s face.  Sean had wanted to wipe them from her face, but he didn’t dare with the responders there.  He honestly would have done it front of John, but right now he had to act like a cop.  What he really wanted was to take her home and hold her tight.

Thirty-three

Sean and John had to stay at the scene until it was cleared.  John looked over at him, “Is she okay?”

Sean shook his head, “She’s pretty upset.”

“She’s a brave woman, Sean.  She helped those kids no matter how scary it was.”

Sean nodded his head in agreement.  John remarked, “Like I said, make sure she doesn’t get away.”

He wanted to, but he wasn’t sure how.  He had never been in a situation like this before.  He did not want to push her because he was afraid she might run the other way.  Her mother had done a lot to contribute to that he knew.  He wasn’t sure about anything regarding Taylor and usually he was.  It was an unusual situation for him and a bit nerve-racking. 

Maggie took her home and made some hot tea.  They sat at the table silently and drank.  Maggie stayed with her, refusing to leave, even when she protested.

They went into the living room and sat on the couch.  Taylor finally said, “There was gas all over the road and under the vehicle, Maggie.  Sean stayed with me and got me out even though it was dangerous.”

Maggie looked over at her, “I know he did.  I tried to tell you how much he likes you.”

“He’s a cop, Maggie.  He would do it for anyone.”

“Maybe, but if they had tried to drag him away, I doubt he would have left you.  You are trying too hard to make excuses and I know you are very smart, so stop trying to make it seem like it is nothing.”

“What if it is, Maggie?  Love is not in the stars for me.  I don’t think anyone will love me and I don’t plan on loving anyone.  I’m sorry, but love and I are not on good terms.”

Maggie squeezed her hand.  “Love can happen when you don’t expect it.”

Taylor looked at her, “How do you know?”

“You are just going to have to trust yourself and Sean.  Taylor, is there anything else I can get you?”

She shook her head no, afraid to speak because her emotions were so raw.

Only when Maggie heard Sean pull up did she kiss Taylor on the cheek and leave.  When Sean came into the living room, she jumped off the couch.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t fix any dinner.” 

Her grabbed her arm before she could walk away and pulled her into his arms.  “I’m not hungry.”

Her head rested on his shoulder, her arms around his waist.  “I had to try to help them, Sean.”

“I know.”

“Anyone would have done it, but I was the one there.”

He put his hands on either side of her head, his hands in her soft hair and looked her in the eyes.  “No, most people would not have done that.  If I would have fit I would have gone in.  I was amazed you fit through there.”

She looked up at him and smiled, pointing at her chest, “Compressible and I had to do a lot of twisting and turning.”

He tried not to stare down at her chest.  But he did what he had wanted to do for a long time.  He looked at her searchingly and lowered his head and kissed her hard.  Taylor slid her arms around his neck and kissed him back.  She was out of breath and her whole body tingled.  The room was so hot it felt like they were standing in a circle of red hot flames.

She had wanted him to kiss her like this.  She finally admitted it to herself.  They kissed passionately again, his lips searing into hers, her whole body filled with electricity.  When they came up for air, she did not meet his gaze.  Her stomach was flip flopping and she felt heat all the way down. 

He pulled back and led her to the couch and sat down, pulling her down with him.  She leaned on his shoulder and they watched TV.  During a commercial, she said, “You stayed there even when it was dangerous.”

“Of course I did.  I would never have left you there.”

“You’d do it for anyone, you’re a cop.”

He looked at her hard, “No, I could have let the fireman do it.”

She searched his eyes.  “Thank you for getting me out of the van, Sean.  I was really scared.”

“I was determined to get you out of there as quick as possible.  I know it was scary in there.  Not that I have had been in a mangled up van like that but I can only imagine.”

Later, he didn’t ask, he just picked her up and carried her up the stairs.  She didn’t mind since her legs were wobbly and they both knew it. 

When he put her down, she bumped her leg against the bed and winced.  She looked down at her jeans and saw a small tear. 

Sean looked down too, “Are you hurt?”

She shrugged, “I’m not sure.  It hurt when I bumped it against the bed.”

“Take your jeans off.”

She half laughed, sure he was joking, “What?”

“I said take your jeans down.  I want to see it.”

“I can go to the bathroom and look at it.  It’s just sore, maybe a bruise.”  She was pulling at the hem of her t-shirt.  When she looked down, she realized there was blood on her clothes.  Little children’s blood.

She sank onto the bed.  The accident emotions came back full force.  Her eyes filled with tears.  “I couldn’t help her, Sean.  I told her she would be okay.”

He stooped down next to her, “You saved two children.  The other girl, Alice I think, the medics said if she had not gotten your help she would have died at the scene before they could have cut her out.  You saved her life, Taylor.”

“It doesn’t make me feel any better.” 

“I know but you have to remember the other two.  You are the most selfless, courageous, kindest woman I have ever known.”  He looked almost embarrassed after he said it.

She gave him a slight smile, “That’s going to be hard to live up to.”

He said in a huskier voice, “It’s just who you are, you don’t have to try; it’s natural.”

He stood up.  “Taylor, take the jeans off or pull them down. I don’t care which.  But if you don’t, I will.”  He said it in his best cop voice, she thought. 

“You and what army?”

He leaned over her, “I’m not kidding.  You do it or I will.”

She looked at him.  He could probably scare most people he came up against, but not her.  

He could see the almost defiant look in her eyes.  He said softly, “Don’t make me manhandle you.”

He watched her tilt her head ever so slightly and he knew she was thinking about it.  He waited.  She gave in.  She pulled her jeans down to her knees and stretched her shirt to cover as much as possible.  She looked at the shallow cut on her thigh.

Sean told her to sit still.  He came back with some liquid to clean the cut and some bandages.  He poured the liquid onto a square of gauze and started to dab the cut.  He was very aware of her bare skin and shapely legs.  His hands were shaking ever so slightly.

When the liquid touched her skin, she drew in a hissy breath.  He looked up at her and smiled.  “Sorry, it needs to be cleaned so it doesn’t get infected.” 

She just nodded.  She was hoping the goose bumps on her arms were not going to spread to her legs. She ran her hands up her arms, which she realized was a mistake when he glanced up at her arms.

When he was done, he put a light dressing over it and taped it in place.  His fingers rubbing on her skin to press the tape down were torture.  As soon as he was done he stood up, said good night, and left quickly.

Thirty-four

After she had changed, she felt restless and uneasy.  She didn’t consider her actions, she just went barefoot down to his room.  His door was open.

“Sean?  Can I come in?”  She saw he was lying in bed.  Maybe she should have let him rest.  Considering the way he had just made her feel while cleaning and bandaging her leg, maybe this wasn’t the best idea.  Well, too late now.  He was looking at her. 

“Sure.” He answered.  He tried to sound casual.  He felt anything but.

She saw the tank top he was wearing.  It showed off muscles and smooth skin.  She walked over to the bed and crawled over him.  His bed on one side was up against the wall.  She could not have crawled over the footboard to get on the bed.

She sat facing him.  “Have you ever seen a bad accident before?”

“Yes, worse than that one.  I try not to think about it.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it, Sean.”

His fingers lightly brushed her face, “I know.  It will take time.”

She laid down on the covers, her head on her arm as they talked for a while.  She asked about his day and told him about shopping with Maggie.  She also told him about how Maggie had met Walter.

“I didn’t know that.  Guess it’s not really something she would tell me.”

She talked about anything to not think about the accident.

He didn’t move her when she fell asleep but he did cover her up.

She woke up as she usually did and realized she was still in his bed.  She could see the outline of his body.  He was laying on his side, facing away from her.  She didn’t want to wake him so she decided to just lay there.  Normally, she would have gotten a drink or gone to the restroom, but she would have to crawl over him to do either.

She was wide awake and restless.  She had never slept in a man’s bed before.  Hmm, what to do?  She did not want the memories of the accident creeping into her mind.  She started softly humming.  She stared at the ceiling and kept humming.

He rolled over onto his back and rubbed a hand on his face, “What are you doing?”

“What?  Me?  I’m just laying here.  Minding my own business.”  She tried to sound innocent.

“Are you humming a pirate song?”

“Shanty.”

“What?”

”Pirate shanty.”

“Whatever.  It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

He sounded a little testy. “Are you grumpy?”

He was still trying to wake up, “What?”

“Grumpy.  You’re grumpy at 2 a.m. in the morning.”

“I have to go to work in a few hours.  Go back to sleep.”

“Yep, definitely grumpy.”  She said it with an awed tone.

“Taylor, go to sleep.”  He said it in a more forceful tone.  He was tired and he needed to get some more rest before he went on duty.

“Wow.  Grumpy and testy.”  She giggled.

He sighed.  This wasn’t what he had in mind for the first night sleeping with her.  He closed his eyes, “I’m not grumpy.  I’m tired.”

“Oh, is that what you call it?  Well, just for your information, it’s called grumpy.”  She turned away from him and closed her eyes.

She couldn’t resist saying, “Admission is the first step to recovery.”

He almost growled, “Taylor.”

“I’m just saying.” She giggled, “What is the next phase in recovery?  I think anger.”

Sean sighed loudly but said nothing.  She couldn’t see the grin on his face.

“I’ll be very quiet.  Don’t want you getting angry like a hibernating bear being awakened in the middle of a cold wintery, snowy night.

He managed to keep from laughing, “Taylor.”

“You know my name.”

He sighed exaggeratedly.

“Okay, okay.”  It was fun teasing him.  She had never had anyone to bother in the wee hours of the morning before.