Unexpected Changes (8 page)

Tabitha

MY FOOT
IS TAPPING
against the hardwood floor as my anxiety reaches a new level. What if I can’t handle his explanation? The emotions that are running fiercely throughout my body are new and scare the life out of me. I thought I loved once before, and I realize now, it wasn’t love. Then this man showed up on the other side of my computer screen on a shitty morning, causing me to open not only my heart, but my soul. Just as he walked in, it shattered just as quick.

How do I know it won’t happen again? Maybe Angela was right. I should listen and follow my heart.

“You look as if you’re lost in thought.”

“Sorry, I am,” I respond with a low confused voice.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“You might need to grab the piggy bank for all of them then.”

“I’ll take that,” Carter says as he places my drink in front of me and gets comfortable on the sofa next to me.

Picking up another slice of sandwich from the plate, I look over to speak, but Carter shakes his head before I can start.

“Tabitha, I need to explain a few things to you and I’m not sure where to start. I know it’s not going to be easy to listen to, but I need you to hear me out. I still don’t have all the answers, and I promise to share them with you as I obtain them myself.”

“I’ll do my best to listen, but I can’t promise you anything.”

“Understandable. Do you need anything before we get started?”

“No, just an explanation,” I respond and my nerves kick up a few more notches. This causes me to mentally question if I need to know these answers. What if I don’t like them?

“Stop me if you have any questions, and like I stated before, I’ll answer the best that I can.”

“Okay,” I say as I watch how uncomfortable Carter has become. He’s stiffened his back and has squared his shoulders. Dropping his head to look at the floor, he starts to speak in a low tone. “Bethany and I met in high school, dated and had an average teenage relationship. It wasn’t until right before I graduated that I found out she was pregnant. Her family, as you already know, comes from a long line of politics and power. I was forced to marry her before a scandal broke out in the media.” He stops for a moment to watch me as I grab my drink from the table in front of us.

“Should I continue?”

“Go ahead, I’m listening.” Boy am I, and processing at the same time.

“Anyway, I graduated and married at eighteen years old with a wife who was seventeen. With whom, by the way, I was ready to call things off; I cared for her but not enough to be tied down forever. I wanted to go off to college and have fun, you know, be a typical guy. I guess it was about a month later, I got a call saying she had lost the baby. As much as I didn’t want to be married, I never wanted to lose the baby. It was something I thought we created, and it deserved a chance at a normal life.”

Interrupting him, I say. “What do you mean you thought you two created?”

“Just listen or I might not get through it all, okay?”

“Carry on.”

“I asked for a divorce, or an annulment, which was denied by both of our families. Needless to say, I wasn’t aware of the lies behind the scenes. See Tabitha, once I left home, we never had a marriage. Hell, we didn’t even live together. Well, not until the last few months, but we still had our separate rooms. I stayed at work most of the time, trying to ignore her.”

Listening to Carter, my heart breaks even more for what he’s had to go through, but I’m also getting livid that he hadn’t told me this before.

“All these years, I tried to figure out why my lawyer couldn’t get them to agree to anything or sign the fucking papers. It wasn’t until this last year that we started investigating things. You’ve seen what happens when you push buttons—people die. That’s why I hired Jack. I had to be reassured that you were protected, as I couldn’t put anything past them.”

“Hold up! You’re telling me that his watching me was because I was really in danger and that you know they killed your lawyer? What the hell have you gotten me mixed up in, Carter? I didn’t ask for this, nor did I sign up for that.”

“Calm down, Tabitha, and listen. I hid you from them; it wasn’t until the end that Bethany got wind of you. I promise nothing was going to happen to you. She was trying to scare me into dropping the divorce. Bethany didn’t want me to find out that the child she lost … it wasn’t mine. She and my father were having an affair and it continued years into our marriage. That’s why I was hung by the balls. It was to protect his name, not mine or Bethany’s.”

“What?” I ask as I look into his face and see the embarrassment written all over it. He never expected to have to tell me about that part and I see it.

“You heard me. I just found all this out myself. So, have I processed the pain I’ve felt for not being here for her when what I thought was our baby was taken? No. Now I’m not sure what to feel. How do you turn that off? Do you know? ’Cause I sure as hell don’t. Tabitha, I’ve lived the past ten years thinking that if I’d stayed at home and not left for college, I would have my son or daughter here. I didn’t give a shit about Bethany, but I would have given them a home and provided for my family.”

Anger has turned into tears as I sit here and listen to Carter explain. I can’t imagine the heartache he feels, or the betrayal. “Carter, I’m so sorry they did this to you. You could’ve talked to me and let me in.”

“No, if you’d known, not only would you have run for the hills, you would have been in danger for certain. I wasn’t going to allow this to affect your life. I knew I was close, and I planned to tell you, but not the way you found out. You have to know I didn’t show up with her that night. She followed me and knew what she was doing.”

“Where’s Bethany now? What’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know where she is, but I know the divorce is going through the courts and I’ve been sworn to keep my mouth shut. Jack is no longer on the case, nor Mark.”

“Mark? Who the hell is Mark? I don’t know him. Or do I?” I ask as I stare Carter down.

“You’ve had an encounter with him, but only recently. We thought it was best for someone to follow while you were out of town. He was the one who called the ambulance when you fainted. Which I need to know if you are okay. No one ever told me the details.”

Feeling my face fill with heat, I say, “How many other people did you hire to keep tabs on me? Huh?” I spit out as I stand to pace the living room.

“Tabitha, come sit back down and listen.”

Pivoting on my heels, I point a finger in his direction. “Fuck you, Carter. You don’t get to tell me to sit down and relax. Were you getting followed? Huh … Tell me? What all did they say?”

“Actually yes, I’ve been tracked, followed, and under a microscope for ten years. You want me to tell you what that’s like? Well, let me explain it. Life sucked. I was so deep in depression and looked for a way out every day of my life since I signed that deal with the devil. You know what pulled me back? You did! That day I logged onto your server early, it was the best thing that had happened in years. When you opened your eyes, you changed me. I knew then that whatever it took to get away from them, I’d make it happen.

“You are the reason I fought against their will. You are why I woke each morning and acted like nothing was wrong. Do you know how hard it was for me? Can you fathom the worry I had each time I’d show up to steal a moment with you? It scared me, and I was determined to know you were protected. For that, I will not apologize. But I will apologize for involving you in my life before I knew it was safe.”

Shaking my head to stop him from speaking, I look into his blue eyes that I’ve memorized and say, “Carter, can you shut up now and kiss me? I need to hold you like you need me to.”

I stand in the middle of his living room and watch as he stalks towards me. In this moment, I know we will have a long road ahead of us, but I’m willing to try again. My heart might always be guarded until I know I can have him completely.

Carter

On my back with Tabitha curled on my side and her leg wrapped around mine, it caused me to think about last night. I was scared to tell her the truth, as I wasn’t sure we would be where we are now.

We didn’t talk anymore since it was late, and both of us needed sleep.

I’ve been awake for an hour now, and I can’t bring myself to move. It’s as if I’m dreaming; I never expected to have her in my bed. We have work to do as we rebuild our relationship, and I know it will take time.

Feeling her snuggle into me more, I glance down and notice her green eyes are open and watching me.

“Morning, Tabby Cat.”

“Morning,” she mumbles into my chest. “What time is it?”

I look over at the clock. “Eight. You hungry?”

“It’s early, and I’m starving, but comfy.”

“Tabitha?”

“Yes, Carter.”

“I’m sorry for ever causing you any pain. I promise to show you I can be the one you need.”

“Just don’t lie to me anymore. If it happens again, my heart will not be repairable.”

“Neither will mine … neither will mine.” I whisper as I stroke the hair away from her face to showcase all of its beauty.

“Do you have to work today?”

“I have a few things to take care of and you’re going with me.”

“Good, I need to see Kelly.”

“Kelly … Why?”

“No reason other than I need to see which of them won.”

“I’m confused. Are you going to explain that further?”

“I’m pretty sure Kelly and Jessica were setting us both up.”

“Well, I hope Kelly won. If she made it so that you came back to me, she gets a raise.”

“Easy. Remember the word slow. You have to date me to win me. What, you think hot sex in your gym and the truth will win me over?”

“A guy could only hope. So, you think that was hot last night, huh?”

“Is that all you heard from that statement?”

“It is, and yes, I’ll date you.”

“Good, let’s get up and search for food.”

I watch as she unwraps herself and jumps up out of the bed. How I’m going to win her heart back is beyond me. I do know I’ll figure it out. Time can only heal us both.

Tabitha

BREAKFAST WAS
QUICK
and easy—I found out Carter is an eat-on-the-go type of guy, and that fits us both. Granola bar and coffee, breakfast of champions.

Hand in hand, we step off the elevator and towards his temporary office. The simple act of Carter placing his hand on mine causes my heart to flutter. Normally I’m not the affection showing type of girl, but this feels right. It’s how it should be.

“Hello Kelly,” I say with a smile as we approach her desk.

“Morning you two,” she responds with a knowing smirk.

“Carter, I’ll join you in a few.”

“Okay, but go easy on her,” he replies with a wink as he turns to strut away.

“We can cut the chit chat. Who won?”

Throwing her head back, she laughs. “Oh, I lost this one big time. I never expected the witch to disappear and grant the one wish our lover boy has had for years.”

“Not sure if I’m sorry you lost, but I’m happy to have you two on our side.”

“Always. Carter and I have known each other for years and I knew immediately something was different with him.”

I cock my head and ask, “How so?”

Kelly leans over her desk so only I can hear her response. “That first meeting over the teleconference, I thought he had hired a hit man. He came out of his office with the biggest grin spread across his face, and that my dear, hasn’t been seen for a very long time. You’re good for him and everything will work out. Just have faith in him.”

I smile back at her as I remember that first meeting myself. “I’ll try. That’s all either of us can do. We’re going to take it slow and see where it goes.”

“Really? Carter Northwood doesn’t do slow, dear. He has one speed, and is a force to be reckoned with when you slow him down. Buckle up and hold on for the ride is all I can say.”

“Noted. I’m going to head in and find him now. It was good to see you again.”

With a quick nod, I excuse myself and search for Carter. When I approach his door, I can hear his pitched voice through the closed doors.

Not waiting to knock since he knew to expect me, I open the door and notice him pacing as he talks on his phone.

“Hold on a moment Jack, she just walked in.”

Raising my eyebrows, I look at Carter in a ‘what are you doing’ manner.

“Jack and I still think it’s best that either he or Mark keeps an eye on you for a while longer. We just need to make sure everything will stay calm. Are you okay with this?”

I don’t answer him right away. I need to think. He violated my trust before by having me followed, but now he’s asking for permission. I know no matter what answer I give him, he will still have them follow me.

“That’s fine, but they need to make sure I see them while they’re watching me. It’s creepy and freaks me out to know they see everything.”

“Did you hear her, Jack? Very well, and I’ll let her know. Thanks and keep me posted.”

I take a seat in front of his desk and watch as he takes his. “What did Jack have to say?”

“He assured me you will know at all times when they are around. He’s also happy that I told you everything and delighted to know we’re going to work on our relationship.”

“Really? Kelly says you don’t do slow. You going to be able to handle that?”

“It’s going to be a new one for me, but for you, yes.”

I cross my legs and look at him sitting in his leather chair. He’s dressed in a pair of his dark jeans and a dark red button-up shirt. The top few buttons are open and the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. His tattoos are showcased for the world to see. Usually when I’ve seen him in the office, he’s covered completely, as if he’s hiding from the world. Today, he’s showing the universe who he is.

“Tabitha, did you hear me?”

I glance up to him and lick my lips as I respond, “No, I was distracted. What did you say?”

“What’s going through that head of yours?”

Choosing to not answer yet, I get up and stride around the desk to plop my butt down on his desk. I reach down and grab one of his arms and caress it with my fingertips. “You’re distracting me with all this. One day, I would like to know what they mean, if they have a meaning.”

“One day, I will tell you.”

“So … um, what are we doing today? I have to look at one of the buildings on the contract to mark a few things off while I’m here.”

“We can do that as we head out; it’s on the way.”

“And where do you plan on taking me?”

“It’s a surprise, and you don’t get to say anything about it. I need to move a few things around on my schedule. Once I have that done we can go.”

Taking a look around his office, I notice how bare it is. I turn back towards him and ask, “Did you lose all your drawings?”

“I did, but I have a few more put away. Once we move into something more permanent, I’ll hang them.

“I hate that you lost everything.”

“It was just stuff, Tabitha. No one was hurt and I can replace it.”

“I know, but that one, you can’t duplicate. I liked it.”

“Which one?”

“The one you had of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was so unique and showcased the beauty that others don’t see when they look at it. That was my favorite,” I respond shyly, as I’m not even sure I made sense just then.

“It was one of mine as well. I drew that while at school for a project.”

“You did well, if I might say,” I tell him as I go to move from his desk, but he stops me.

“You’re perfect right where you are. Let me do this, and we can go.”

“Hurry it up then, we have things to do and I have to fly back tonight.”

“You didn’t tell me that. Why so quick?”

“It didn’t come up, especially since I thought I was going to throat punch you then leave. I have other contracts, Mr. Northwood, not just you.”

“True. What time do you leave?”

“I think it’s around 6 p.m.”

“Guess I need to hurry.”

Not responding as I watch him click a few things on his calendar and reply to a few emails, I’m still scared to completely let him in, but I know I can take that leap to try.

The biggest question I have is: Is it really over and done with? What happens if Bethany changes her mind before the divorce is final? It’s something that has to be discussed, well, once I figure out how to ask it. I’m always vocal with my friends, but with Carter, I never know what to say. He’s taken my voice, and my heart. I would drop everything to be with him. I have to pull deep to stick to my guns. He will have to date me and prove that we can do this without the lies and drama.

Carter

We say goodbye to Kelly and jump on the interstate. I’m not sure what Tabitha will think of what I’ve got to show her, but I hope she feels it’s as special as I do.

Silence overtakes the cab of the truck and I’m not sure if it’s the uncertainty of where we are going or what.

“You doing okay over there?” I ask as I glance over towards her.

“I am, just thinking.”

“About?”

“Things; you, me, and honestly, everyone.”

“Care to explain what all that means?”

“I still don’t know what to think about us. I have issues at home with the guys, and … I don’t know.”

“We will figure us out Tabitha, one day at a time. What’s going on at home?”

“I know we will, Carter. I’m just scared. I know you’ve met my brother and Cory. We just haven’t been the same over the last few months. I pulled away and they all have different things going on. I miss them, that’s all.”

“Do a cookout or something. You’ve been traveling so much; it’s bound to put a strain on friendships and relationships.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“You’ll figure it out,” I explain as she just stares out the window.

I leave it alone, as I know she’s trying to figure it all out. She’s been working non-stop and I blame myself for that. The rest of the drive to the property is quiet and gives me time to take everything in. I’ll need to decide what my plans are as well. If we make this work, I can’t be here and have Tabitha living in another state.

Pulling up to the front gate, I turn my head towards her, knowing she will see the importance right away. Throwing the truck into park, I start to speak, but she interrupts me.

“Carter, is that what I think it is?”

“Depends on what you think it is.”

“That’s the house you were drawing?”

“Yes.”

“You really had my doddle put not only on your body but your fence. Why?”

“I told you it made me see things clearer. You, Tabitha, are my world. I know this is fast, but it’s the truth. I’ve said before and I’ll say it every day until you understand it, my life is with you and yours is with me. Somehow, you were the one to show up on that computer, and I’ll never regret it, even for a moment.”

As I’m explaining, I watch her slide across the seat and place her index finger against my lips to shush me. When I look into her eyes, I notice the moisture pooling up into them as she tries to speak.

“Carter, you have to stop with all the sappy words and meanings. I appreciate them, but I’m not used to it. You have to understand, I haven’t dated in many years. Yes, I went out and I had fun, but a relationship, no. I gave that up years ago. Hint to the reason we need to do slow.”

“I take it you don’t like the fence, then?”

“No, I love it, but it’s a lot to take in.”

“Noted.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. This is new to me.”

“It’s new to me as well, Tabitha. Remember what I’m trying to get away from,” I explain as my heart breaks a little more. This isn’t what I was expecting. I hoped she would love it.

She looks back up towards the fence and house before she turns back to me and says, “It does look pretty good up there like that. What happens, though, if we don’t work out?”

“I have faith that we will, and if not, then I will always remember the person who saved me.”

“Smooth talker. Are you going to show me the rest?”

“If you’d like. Do you remember the design you saw?”

“I do. Did you change anything?”

“Not a thing. I added a few things here and there, but they just started building,” I say as I notice she’s already got the door open and is jumping down before I can finish.

“Come on slow poke. Remember I also have a plane to catch.”

“Coming, Tabby Cat.”

Grabbing her hand, I push the gate open and walk us up the drive. It’s not much, but it’s mine—a place that is entirely designed by visions. Even if I never move into the place, I’ll always know that this was what pulled me through all these years.

It’s taken me over five years to design a house in a way I dreamed of it to be. In the past, I never thought I would finish the drawing, but when my world was rocked to its core that night in the ladies’ room, it all changed. I poured everything I had left in me into the blueprints.

One day at a time
, I remind myself as we approach the construction site.

As we get closer, I look around and second guess myself on this whole idea. What was I thinking, building this? I don’t even know where we will reside. The concrete slab has cured and walls have been erected. The place is a see through cascade of nothing other than wood.

Trying to gauge her demeanor as I pull her through the areas, it’s hard to visualize what the end result will be when it’s still a shell. When I started this project, it was only to keep myself busy. I had hoped to be finished before I had the opportunity to show her this place.

“Come, let me show you the kitchen area,” I say as I tag her along behind me.

“Oh, why yes, please, let’s see the cabinets,” she jokes.

“Here is where the sink will go and you’re able to overlook the backyard.”

“It’s a big yard. When are you going to be done?”

“Not sure, it’s been raining and we’ve stopped work temporarily.”

“When it’s done, I know it will be beautiful. Especially if you stay true to the drawing I’ve seen.”

“That’s the plan,” I say with a shrug as I look down to my watch and notice it’s time to head to the airport. “Come on, let’s get you home,” I say as I take Tabitha in. She’s staring out the makeshift window, lost in her own mind.