Authors: Lori Foster
Ray glanced up from her contemplation of the map. “My what?”
“The way you say and do just as you please. It's nice not to have to wonder what's in your head.”
She blinked at him lazily while storm clouds gathered in her eyes. “You think I have it so easy? You actually think you know my thoughts?”
Uh-oh. Apparently, he'd stepped in it again. “Ray, you haven't exactly been circumspect in your speech or”âhe glanced at her body, teasingly displayedâ“in your attire.”
Her eyelids narrowed just the tiniest bit. She propped her chin on a fist. “You didn't by any chance think to get to know me better, did you?”
Eli wasn't quite certain what was going on now. Seconds ago she'd been open and friendly. She'd told him about her dog, damn it. Of her own accord, she had opened up. “I'd like to get to know you better.”
“Why?”
He couldn't tell her that he wanted her, that despite the situation with his brother, he couldn't get her off his mind. He shrugged and settled on saying, “You fascinate me.”
Her smile was mean. “Kind of like the strange animals at the zoo, huh?”
“No.” He resented the gibe, especially since it had come on so suddenly. “I think you're very independent and honest and up-front. I like and admire that about you. You don't meet too many people with those traits.”
She continued to scrutinize him. “You don't know me, Eli. If you did, you wouldn't say such a stupid thing.”
From bad to worse. She was so damn defensive, so hurt. “I want to know you.”
She laughed without humor.
“When this is over, we could see how things go.”
Before he'd finished that statement, she was already shaking her head. “Not possible.”
“Why?”
Ray stood and paced to the sink, put her empty dish inside and ran water over it. She was gathering her thoughts, her arguments, but Eli didn't know how to reassure her.
He knew for certain she didn't realize the picture she made, leaning against the sink with the undershirt hugging the soft lines of her hips. She turned, putting her hands behind her on the counter, which only served to push her breasts forward. Again, she seemed oblivious to the sensuousness of her stance.
“I never see the people I work for after the job is done.”
“Why, Ray?” His gaze held hers, taking in her carefully wrought expression of indifference. “Explain it to me.”
“What's to explain? I just don't.”
“You must have a reason.” He pressed her when he knew that could be dangerous. But he sensed an emotional opening and he fully intended to take advantage of it. “I would think you'd get pretty close to a person if you rescue him.”
She shook her head. “No, that would be stupid.”
“Why?”
Exasperated, she said, “You wouldn't understand.”
“You sound so sure of that.” Despite his efforts to remain calm and in control, his brows pulled down. “You know, it's just possible I'm not really as shallow as you think.”
Her arms came around to cross over her chest. It was a protective gesture, and Eli wondered at it. Why did she feel threatened? How could she feel threatened by a man when she was comfortable traipsing about in her underclothes in front of him? That alone denoted a certain amount of self-confidence and trust.
He stood, crowding in close to her. Her face turned up to his and he stared into her eyes. He wanted to touch her, to make the physical connection between a man and a woman. The compulsion was almost too great to resist. “Explain it to me, Ray,” he insisted quietly.
Her chin tilted stubbornly in a sign of defiance. She was always so contained, so laid back, she wouldn't have cared enough to be defiant. But this topic got to her, threatened her in some way, and damn it, he wanted to know why.
“It would be like mixing two entirely different worlds. And I know from experience it doesn't work. People like youâ”
“What the hell does that mean, âpeople like me'?”
“People with
money,”
she clarified, drawing the word out like a curse. “You hired me, Eli, you did not make a social call. This is a business arrangement, that's all. Quit trying to make it something more.”
Her insistence only made him more determined. “Maybe it could be something more if you'd let it.”
“For what purpose?” she almost yelled.
“Because I want you.”
Her eyes flared, color rushed into her cheeksâanger or embarrassment, he had no idea which. Her chest rose and fell, then her expression settled into lines of rage. As she turned to stalk away, he grabbed her shoulder.
Big mistake.
Within a heartbeat, his thumb was twisted backward at an awkward angle. Eli locked his jaw in serious discomfort. Feeling his own anger erupt, he growled, “Let go, Ray.”
She did, backing up a step and looking very sheepish. “I'm sorry. It was pure instinct.” Then she caught herself and her brows snapped down. “You shouldn't touch me. Especially not after spewing garbage like that.”
“Garbage?” He rubbed his thumb but it continued to throb.
Going on tiptoe, she stuck her face in his and snarled, “I'm not out for a quick toss in the hay, Eli. Save that for Jane.” Her sneering tone irked him all the more. “Just because I have some unusual habits doesn't mean I'm easy.”
He wanted to turn her over his knee. His anger had risen until he had to speak through his teeth. “If you had let me finish instead of being so damned pricklyâ
just like a damn womanâ
you'd know that wasn't what I meant at all.” He tried shaking his hand, but the pain continued to pulse through his thumb. He glowered at her. “I only meant that I like you and I'm attracted to you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? You don't think you're likable? Hell, Ray, you're giving me your expertise and assistance, and if that's not enoughâ”
She curled her hands into fists. Not a good sign. “I'm not
giving
you anything. You're paying good money for it.”
Eli didn't appreciate that little reminder. His expression became stony. “You didn't have to agree to help. Money or not, you could have said no.”
He tried bending his thumb, and grimaced instead.
Just that easily, Ray relented. Dropping her weight onto one leg, thrusting out the other hip in an arrogant slouch, she said, “Here.” She grabbed his hand, turned his thumb sharply, making him grunt, then asked, “Is that better?”
Strangely enough, it was. Feeling less than pleasant, Eli said, “I'll live, thank you very much.”
She looked at him, shook her head with a short laugh, then attempted to wipe away her grin. “You're funny, Eli, you know that?”
“Putting a torque on my thumb amuses you, does it?”
She shrugged, which wasn't much of an encouraging answer. “Look, let's forget all this nonsense about getting to know each other, okay? We need to concentrate on getting through this job.” Her natural confidence restored, she sauntered lazily toward the door. “I'll shower first, then we can get things going.”
Eli watched her go, but just before she disappeared from sight, she turned to him again. “Eli?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
In a tone as reverent as her own had been, he asked, “For what?”
“For wanting to get to know me. Even though it's impossible, it was a nice thought.”
She turned again, but Eli's implacable words stopped her. “Like hell, Ray. It isn't impossible, and I will know you. You might as well get used to the idea now.”
That particular challenge had her shoulders stiffening, but as she walked away, Eli was almost positive he'd seen a small smile on her mouth.
Deep down, she was exactly like other womenâconfusing as hell.
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They were almost ready to leave for the airport, and Ray looked Eli over approvingly. He'd flat out refused to shop anywhere except at his own store, but she had to admit, he'd done well. Now wearing faded black jeans and a fashionably worn black T-shirt with low boots, he appeared much more casual. Of course, the watch would have to go, but Ray put off telling him so since he'd been so adamant about wearing it.
That morning he'd started to shave, but Ray had caught him in time, insisting he leave the whiskers alone. His beard shadow wasn't heavy yet, but by tomorrow it would be. He looked downright rugged and disreputable and all too appealing for her peace of mind.
Eli nodded at the bag she'd carried from the mall. “So what'd you get?”
It had been a frivolity on her part to purchase anything, but she'd felt compelled to obtain one particular item. Pulling a sour face, she opened her bag to show Eli her new pajamas.
He laughed, shaking his head, and then in a husky, intimate whisper, said, “Personally, I preferred what you wore this morning.”
Didn't she know it. He'd been plain about it to the point he had
her
thinking of it, even though she knew better. “And that's why I thought it might be a good idea to get something a little less revealing. It'd be stupid to let old-fashioned lust be a bother on this mission.”
Ray almost flinched when his palm cupped her chin, turning her face up to his. His hand was big and hot and rough, and everything in her curled in response.
The pajamas were coming a bit too late, in her opinion. She was already way too bothered.
“I love the way you state your case, Ray. Old-fashioned lust? Are you feeling it, too?”
She cleared her throatâand lied. “Oh, I think I can control myself.” Her statement was meant to be sarcastic, but the words emerged as a breathy whisper, losing some of their impact. Eli smiled knowingly.
“For now.” His thumb brushed her bottom lip, prompting her to pull away. “For now, we'll control ourselves.”
He took liberties she'd never allowed before. “You're taking a lot for granted.”
That had his left eyebrow raising a good inch. “Am I? And I thought I showed incredible restraint.” He chuckled at her disgruntled frown. “Now don't get riled. We still have to finish packing our stuff and that'd be tough for me to do with a mangled thumb.”
He kept teasing her instead of getting mad. She didn't understand him at all. Ray shook her head and went off to her room to add the absurd pajamas to her duffel bag. She was most comfortable sleeping nude and had worn the undershirt out of modesty. She could just imagine how uncomfortable sleeping in the stupid cotton pajamas would be. They were lightweight, made like a T-shirt and short pants, and would cover her from the scooped neck to just below her knees. Much as she hated to admit it, she knew the purchase had been necessary.
For her as well as for him.
No way could she give in to her attraction to Eli, remarkable though it seemed. He was of the elite, richer class. He was involved with Jane. And damn it, employers didn't get seriously involved with their employees, especially not when the employee was in effect a hired thug. She liked to think her talents were more refined than that, but he wouldn't think so. How could he? She'd attacked him in the kitchen, for crying out loud. When she thought of what she'd done to his thumb, she wanted to groan. It had been her equivalent of a slapâand that was too emotional to suit her.
Yet around him, her control was obliterated. Her reactions were involuntary, out there for him to see before she even realized what she might do. It made her feel raw, exposed.
As she packed and prepared, Ray tried to remember how long it had been since she'd been so attracted to a man. She'd given up on finding a “happily ever after” about five years ago, when she was only twenty-six. Since that time, she'd met a few men who had momentarily piqued her interest. None of them had known she could muscle her way out of a mob or load an AK-47 with lightning-fast reflexes. She'd kept the most basic part of herself hidden, and still it hadn't lasted.
Not that she'd mourned the ending of any relationships. Men had a way of opening their mouths and destroying whatever illusions of suitability she tried to give them. True, she was more independent than most and likely that was a problem, because she just couldn't take the natural arrogance that seemed to accompany most men. They saw women in one-dimensional ways, small, weakâall the things she most detested.
Funny, but Eli's arrogance had only sharpened her interest. Maybe because she felt his was more deserved. He was self-confident, strong, and hard. And big.
He stood a head taller and his shoulders were twice as wide. In comparison, he made her feel small, a circumstance she hadn't encountered too many times since she'd matured.
Of course, they hadn't gotten to the thick of it yet, where she'd really test Eli's mettle. Once they were in Mataya and he had to follow her lead, he wouldn't find her quite so amusing. He'd back off on his own, so she really had nothing to worry about.
He was in a chipper mood when they left the apartment, which only served to annoy Ray further. She was disgruntled, but with herself, not Eli. It seemed that despite everything she'd just told herself, she already felt a sense of loss. Eli wasn't hers, would never be hers.
But damn it, she wanted him to beâat least for a little while.
A
fter they stuffed their baggage behind the seat, Ray tossed Eli the keys and told him to drive.
“Really?”
Well, what about that? She'd expected an argument, not a look of anticipation, as if getting behind the wheel of her battered truck appealed to him. “Yeah, really. You do know how to drive a stick, don't you?”
“Learned when I was ten, as a matter of fact.”
“Ten?”
“Yeah. I was a . . . rambunctious kid.” He adjusted the seat to fit his longer legs, turned the key, and smiled at the low rumble of the engine. “Know what I think, Ray?”
She wasn't sure she wanted to. But he didn't wait for her to ask anyway.
“I think most of the wear and tear on your truck is camouflage, kind of like your blustering and bravado.”
That tore it. “Blustering and bravado?”
He put the truck in gear and drove out of the lot, shifting with practiced ease. “The truck looks bad, but it's a real gem.” He flicked a look her way. “You can pretend to be cold and heartless, but you're a sensitive woman.”
Being compared to her truck wasn't the best compliment. In a flat voice, she said, “The windows are bulletproof and the frame is reinforced with body armor. It doesn't matter how the truck looks, Eli. It's a kick-ass machine, meant to get me safely where I'm going, not for joyriding.”
His big hands opened and closed on the steering wheel in a near caress. Mesmerized by that, Ray almost missed it when he murmured, “A fast, fun joyride wouldn't hurt anything now, would it?”
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Was he talking about the damn truck, or her? It didn't matter, not when her mind took the comment in the most explicit, sexual way possible. Damn it, how did he keep doing this to her? She wanted to put him in his place, she really did.
Only at the moment, she wasn't sure where that might be.
She slouched in her seat, propped her feet on the dash and turned her face to stare out her window. She'd ignore him and his innuendoes.
The problem was, she knew he was looking at her. She could feel his gaze, moving over her, filling her with throbbing turbulence. Eli was not a man to be ignored, in any way, shape, or form.
“You're awfully quiet, Ray. What's the problem now?”
“I'm thinking.” She slanted him a look, her sense of injustice rising. “Maybe you should try it rather than indulging all this idle chitchat.”
“Getting on your nerves, am I?”
He didn't sound the least contrite. “Yes, actually you are.” His hands were still now, and that allowed her gaze to zero in on something she could tackle without unsettling emotion. “I see you didn't take the watch off like I told you to.”
“My watch stays.”
She was ready for a confrontation. “No, it doesn't. If it's noticed in Mataya, we'll have our hands full getting out with your arm intact.”
Eli merely grinned at her. “I trust you to take care of me, Ray. That is what you promised Jane, remember?”
She resented having her own words thrown back at her. She resented more the fact that she'd had to promise Jane anything. “It looked to me like you needed some help getting rid of the lady.” And with a sneer: “Is she always that clingy?”
“Not usually, no.”
That wasn't enough of an answer to suit her. “She hinted you two haven't exactly been . . .
close.”
Eli chuckled. “You mean sexually?”
The turbulence expanded, feeling almost like pain. “Yeah. So why her sudden change of heart?”
“Her heart wasn't involved, Ray. Just her tactical mind.”
“What do you mean?”
Eli grimaced as if pained. “My grandfather is playing Cupid. He wants our two families to join, and evidently, given her recent performance, Jane is all for it.”
He couldn't possibly mean . . . Skeptically, Ray asked, “A business alliance?”
Eli shook his head. “My grandfather is old-fashioned. He likes to keep it in the family.”
Her heart skipped two beats. “Meaning?”
“Marriage.”
She didn't care, she didn't care, she did not care.
“Why the hell would she marry you if she didn't love you?”
That had him laughing, but not for the reasons Ray thought. “You make marriage to me sound like a heinous fate worse than death.” His laugh was nice and deep. Real. “Our marriage would unite major competitors in the same industry. It'd be a match made in boardroom heaven.”
Because her privacy was so important to her, it amazed Ray that Eli didn't seem to have an aversion to discussing his private affairs. “So you're supposed to marry a woman for the sake of money?”
He frowned at her curt generalization. “That was the plan, I suppose, though I never agreed to it.”
Ray didn't bother trying to hide her shock. “That's disgusting. How much money do you people need, anyway?”
“I never saidâ”
Anger brought her feet off the dash to land on the floor with a thud. “Marriages of convenience went out a long time ago.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “The whole idea is pathetic.”
Eli absorbed her annoyance with a slow smile. “Are you willing to make me a better offer?”
Her arms fell to her sides. “Now what are you babbling about?”
“I haven't fallen in love with anyone yet, including Jane, but I'm thirty-three. It's time for me to settle down and start a family of my own.”
“Do wealthy people have a schedule for that sort of thing?”
“Not a schedule, no, but I do have a responsibility, especially to my grandfather to carry on the tradition of a family-run business. I can't very well do that without more family.” He reached over and patted her knee. “Just think of the strong, independent kids we'd have.”
She shoved his hand away. “You aren't the least bit funny, Eli.”
He laughed again and Ray thought about socking him. In the end, she decided that would only inconvenience her, since she'd be the one to have to take care of him afterward.
“What's the matter, Ray? Don't you want to supply me with a couple of small Connors to carry on the family name? I promise I'd be a good dad.”
Oh, she believed that. He'd probably be a wonderful dad. But the idea of her as a mother was utterly ludicrous. She didn't think she'd ever held a baby, much less cared for one.
A little melancholy, Ray leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes, all but dismissing Eli. But she couldn't refrain from one last parting shot. “It appears to me Jane is now more than anxious to give you as many heirs as you want.”
“Ray,” he chided in a more mellow tone, “you don't need to concern yourself about Jane.”
She kept her eyes closed, refusing to look at him. “Which is your way of telling me to mind my own business? Hey, I can handle that. If you feel compelled to sell yourself for money, who am I to complain? It makes no difference to me.”
Eli sighed. “This is ridiculous. I never said I was going to marry her. I only said that my grandfather wanted me to.”
“And evidently so does Jane.”
“Maybe, not that it matters what she wants since I'm not going to marry her and that's the end of it. So drop it.”
“Fine.”
“Great.”
She didn't want to talk about marriage anyway.
“But,”
Eli added, making her groan, “I am serious about wanting a family.” He waited a moment in silence, then asked, “Don't you?”
Ray swiveled her head toward him, pretending boredom. “Do I what?”
“Want a family.” And then with a start, he said, “Or do you already have one? Damn, Ray, I don't know anything about you. You're not married, are you?”
Slouching farther into her seat, Ray grumbled, “I think this falls under the heading of personal information.”
Those expressive eyes of his lit up with exasperation. “Don't give me that, not after the way you've been grilling me.” When she only shrugged, he appealed to her sense of fair play. “Come on, Ray. I answered your questions.”
“I didn't twist your arm.”
“You twisted my thumb earlier. Almost the same thing.”
She shot him a baleful frown. But really, telling him wouldn't make any difference, and maybe it'd get him off this subject and onto one that didn't rattle her. “No, I'm not married, never have been. I'm thirty-one years old. I have an eighteen-year-old brother and two highly annoying, prissy female cousins who, thank God, live a fair distance away.”
Typically, he took what information she gave and picked for more. “What about your parents?”
She stared out the windshield. “They died when I was eighteen.”
“Both of them?”
With a nod, she said, “A stormy night, slick roads . . .” She flapped a hand, unable to say more. “My aunt took us in. I joined the service shortly after that.”
“That's awfully young to be a soldier.”
Young, but also angry and eager to find her place in the world. It had been a life-altering decision, one she'd never allowed herself to regret. “A little over five years ago, my aunt got cancer and she died, too.”
Eli glanced at her briefly. “You recite that like a grocery list when I know it had to hurt like hell.”
Ray stared out the window at the passing scenery. Hurt? The death of her parents had damn near killed her, too. She'd felt broken and lost, but so much had changed since then, it now seemed as though it had been someone else who'd suffered that loss, who had tried to find a place for herself when there was no place available. She'd been a different woman then, a girl really, young and naïve. It sometimes galled her to remember how small and afraid and weak she'd been.
She wouldn't allow anyone or anything to ever make her feel like that again.
“What good would it do for me to mourn the past? I'm a realist. I deal with life, good or bad. Besides, if you learned from the hard times, if they made you a little wiser, more self-sufficient, well then, they weren't all bad, were they?”
The gentleness of his tone nearly undid her when he whispered, “What could you have possibly learned from your parents' deaths?”
More than she had ever wanted to know. “I learned that you shouldn't depend on other people for the things you need.”
“Like love?”
She snorted. “Like food or shelter or protection. Even good people can suffer circumstances beyond their control so it's best to be independent, to take care of yourself, and to need only what you can supply. My life wasn't a tragedy, Eli, so don't make it out as one.”
After that heartfelt outburst, Eli finished the drive to the airport in silence. But his brooding wore on her. She knew he was chewing over the conversation, applying maudlin sentiments even though she'd told him not to. Every so often, he looked at her, and like the first time she'd seen him, his eyes mirrored so much sentiment, it unnerved her. She chose not to look at him again, to ignore him. It was the only way she could concentrate on the job she had to do. She needed a mind-set, a detachment from other things to perform the job well.
Usually she could compartmentalize her thoughts, storing away those that might distract her, honing in on the pertinent considerations.
Her reaction to Eli was unexpected. She couldn't detach herself from him no matter how she tried. He seemed to like that.
Ray did not.
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Eli parked her truck in the long-term lot. Their timing was perfect, because there was only a fifteen-minute wait before the plane was ready to be boarded. Ray wasn't surprised that Eli had booked them first-class but that didn't mean she had to like it. Though it wasn't her money, she still considered it a waste, especially when she realized how out of place they looked with their ordinary, worn street clothes and Eli sporting a day's growth of beard. She was used to people staring at her, but now it disconcerted her. And with the take-off imminent, she didn't need any more tension.
Leaning close to her ear, Eli suggested, “Ignore everyone, relax and enjoy the ride. Trust me, it won't kill you.”
Ray drew a slow breath, prepared herself to look bored, and then peered up at him. “Actually, I was thinking of taking a nap. You'll let me know when we land, won't you?”
But instead of answering that question, Eli studied her. As usual, he saw too much. “Getting nervous ?”
She knew he referred to their jaunt into Mataya, which she wasn't the least bit nervous about. The flight, however, was another matter. And the way he attended her every move with so much concern only added to her jitters.
“Of course not. I told you everything will be fine.”
“You seem tense,” he insisted.
The big airplane began taxiing down the runway, going faster and faster while her stomach clenched and her nerves unraveled. God, she hated flying. “I'm mentally preparing for what we'll do and when we'll do it.” Keeping her voice calm and even wasn't easy. There was no spit in her mouth, no air in her lungs. “That way,” she gasped, tightening her hold on the chair arms, “everything will go like clockwork.”
Eli drew back, his gaze moving over her face, then her posture. Damn him, why didn't he look out the window or read a magazine or something?
The plane liftedâand so did her stomach.
Without a word, Eli pried her right hand free from the armrest. His long, warm fingers curled around hers and his thumb began stroking her knuckles, gentle, easy. He drew her hand onto his hard thigh, faced forward, shifted his shoulders to get comfortable and sighed as if utterly relaxed.
Now that he wasn't watching her, Ray squeezed her eyes shut, praying Eli wouldn't notice. She couldn't bear the thought of him seeing her like this.
Normally when on a flight, she could concentrate hard on other things: her brother, her dog, or the impossibility of a normal life. It helped her to overcome her unreasonable fear of flying. But this time, because Eli was with her, she couldn't let down her guard. If she allowed herself to become melancholy, he'd notice. The man was far too astute for his own good.