Authors: Jennifer Blackwood
Tags: #coming of age, #NA, #assisted suicide, #romance, #college, #Entangled, #Jennifer Blackwood, #med school, #Embrace, #new adult, #medical school
“Hey, sexy.” Andrew’s southern drawl came out slurred as he drew me in to his chest. My cheek smashed against his wet, bare, sculpted pecs. Wow, who knew those muscles existed anywhere other than the side of an Abercrombie bag? I inhaled and enjoyed the sweet musk of his cologne that lingered in my nostrils.
The temperature suddenly jumped up fifteen degrees, and sweat beaded around my hairline. I unlocked from our embrace, pulled my hair back, and tied it with a black rubber band that I wore on my wrist for this very reason.
“I’m so glad you actually showed up.” His lips parted into a smile that warmed regions luckily covered by the barely-there skirt.
“I wouldn’t miss it. This party is awesome.”
Andrew nodded and scanned the dance floor with the same prideful grin my dad used to give me when I brought home an aced biology test. Apparently, whatever he’d been drinking impaired his ability to sniff out my bullshit comment.
Beads of water slid down his chest, and the tips of his hair curled across his forehead. He must have been under the hose—er—waterfall.
My body tingled in response to the droplets rolling down each ripple of his abs, and I crossed my arms, combating the urge to reach out and touch him. I’d heard of lick-worthy abs before, but I’d never understood the hype until now. My tongue ran across my lower lip, and a slow burn crept into my cheeks as I realized how ridiculous this must look to him. He was a guy, not a freakin’ cupcake.
I couldn’t be throwing myself at the first guy who showed interest. I wasn’t innocent by any means, but it had definitely been a while.
Another droplet slid down his chest.
Okay, way too long.
Only one other person sent shivers coursing through my body the way Andrew did. But that was forever and a day ago. Before my dad screwed up my life. The only person I’d given everything I had to offer was—
In a devil costume. Here. At this party.
Shit
. I did a double-take, staring at the devil grinding against some girl in a white bra, tiny skirt, and a halo attached to her head. It couldn’t be. He went away to Texas for college, right? The devil’s mouth curved into a panty-dropping smile. Well, I couldn’t vouch for other girls’ panties, but mine definitely had dropped back in the day.
Double shit.
It was
him
. This couldn’t be happening. I threw out my past on the I5 corridor when I moved to Florida.
He looked up from Miss Naughty Angel. Our gazes connected, and a strange charge filled the air. The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention, like I had put my hand on one of those electricity balls at the science museum, and at any moment my ponytail would be sticking straight up in the air. I quickly diverted my attention toward Andrew. For the second time today, overly caffeinated jitters had my hands shaking. My brain clouded as I tried to hatch a plan. I must have inhaled too much of the Axe haze that still loomed over the party like it had its own weather system.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him break away from the girl and stride toward Andrew and me.
Do or die time.
Think.
So I did the only thing that seemed like a passable idea in my Axe-induced high.
“What school did you—”
In one swift movement, I wrapped my arms around Andrew’s neck and pressed my lips against his. At first, his stiff lips didn’t move, awkwardly pushed against mine, from what I assumed to be shock. Yep, I just landed myself in the bat-shit crazy category.
Apparently, he didn’t mind, because his lips finally relaxed and fell into motion, kissing me back. His tongue slid past my teeth, searching and exploring my mouth more aggressively than I liked, especially for a first kiss. I immediately regretted rejecting Jules’s drink offer as Andrew’s stale-beer breath soured my mouth.
Chancing a peek, I opened my eyes and spotted
him
about ten feet away, still walking in my direction.
Please just keep walking. Please, oh party gods, if you are out there, I promise to lay my social life down as sacrifice and study in my room for the rest of eternity if you just let him pass by me without noticing.
I must have really pissed off the party gods, because the only guy I never wanted to see again cleared his throat and tapped Andrew’s shoulder.
Chapter Two
Blake
I cracked my knuckles and waited for Andrew to take his tongue out of my ex’s mouth.
He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and a wide grin spread across his pretty-boy face.
Fucker.
“Hey, Blake! Have you met Payton Daniels?” Andrew motioned to the girl who left me broken and forgotten.
Yes. I knew her all too well. I chuckled at the irony of the halo perched atop her auburn hair, the soft curls cascading over her shoulder. How could I forget her? When I flew to Mexico for my graduation trip, she was my loving girlfriend. And when I got back… Well, I came back to nothing.
Her green eyes opened so wide they looked like they might pop out of her head.
Yeah, I’m surprised to see you, too, little Miss Runaway.
Wait, Daniels? That was her mom’s last name, not her dad’s. Interesting. Stretching my neck, I decided I needed to keep cool. I couldn’t freak out on her, not here. Her hand on Andrew’s abs was all the explanation I needed, making my time spent agonizing about what I could have done differently the past two years a complete waste.
“No, I’ve never met Payton
Daniels
before.” Payton flinched when I emphasized her last name. Of course she did. To me, she would always be Payton Cooper. I’d go along with her charade for now. Her pleading look liquefied some of the ice that had hardened my heart the past couple years.
The ice wall solidified again when Andrew slid his arm around Payton’s waist. She leaned in to his touch, and I wanted to punch a hole through a wall.
I stuck out my hand, pretending I had never met her. She extended hers, and we shook. “Nice to meet you.” My thumb skimmed over her knuckles, and her skin, albeit a little clammy, was just as soft as I remembered.
Payton’s voice cracked. “Nice to meet you, too.” She started to pull her hand away, but I tightened my grip. Her mouth thinned into a hard, narrow line as she stared at our interlocked hands.
Seriously? What did she have to be mad about? My stomach muscles tensed like I had done ten rounds of 8 Minute Abs, and the dormant anger that lingered in every crevice of my body heated to a steady simmer, ready to erupt.
I let go of her hand, and she smiled at Andrew, batting her eyes. What a bitch. Who did she think she was, prancing in here, going googly-eyed for the fraternity’s token manwhore? The lingering warmth of her touch burned my clenched fist.
“Blake and I are fraternity brothers.” He stuck out his hand, and we did the A Sig handshake.
I figured small talk would tear her focus away from blatantly eyeing Andrew’s abs. Her hand kept sliding across his stomach like a windshield wiper set to slow-mo. “Payton, what’s your major?”
Andrew’s eyes laser focused on her cleavage, and I was two seconds away from tearing one of the cardboard clouds off the wall and beating him over the head with it. I couldn’t stand the way he looked at her, the same way he looked at every other girl he was about to—in his words—take to “pleasure town.” This also meant I’d be kicked out of our room for the night.
“I’m majoring in biology with a focus on pre-med.” Her response was robotic. This had been her answer since middle school. Right up until she did her little disappearing act. And now she had magically reappeared.
Abraca-fuckin-dabra.
“That’s awesome. My dad’s a doctor. I’m majoring in pre-pharm,” Andrew said. His hand moved along Payton’s ribs and grazed the side of her breast. My teeth gnashed together, sending shockwaves of pain through my jaw as he publically fondled my ex.
He was too busy checking out Payton’s boobs—they did look extra perky tonight—to notice her eyebrows coming dangerously close to disappearing into her scalp.
So she had no clue about Andrew’s father. Good. Then she didn’t know his dad was on the board for the medical school here at the university.
She visibly squirmed under his arm but didn’t push him away.
At the same time we both said, “I need a drink.”
Payton giggled and smiled at me.
The anger boiling in my blood turned to a toxic sludge, halting any thoughts transmitting to my brain. Damn, I missed that smile. I missed everything about this girl.
Andrew said, “I’ll get you one at the bar. You want some jungle juice?”
Her lips turned down, and little creases formed around the sides of her mouth. “I can’t. I’m the DD tonight.”
“I can get a sober brother to drive you home. C’mon. The bar’s free,” he said.
I cracked my knuckles. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She shouldn’t be here. If she got wasted in front of Andrew, he’d see it as an open invitation into her pants. Well, insanely short skirt, which was way easier access than pants.
Andrew clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Blake, the lady asked for a drink. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t get her one?”
He’d be a gentleman for probably the first time in his life if he didn’t offer her jungle juice. But I decided against saying this, since she obviously came here for him.
She shot me a glare then turned to Andrew and smiled sweetly. “Yes, I’d like one.”
One was all you needed when it came to the A Sig’s special blend of jungle juice. There had to be at least the equivalent of seven shots in each cup. I knew because I helped make it this morning when I was supposed to be in class. All part of my new position as social events coordinator for the fraternity. I was pretty sure I had gotten buzzed from being in the same room as the fumes.
Fuck this. If she wanted to get wasted and screw around with him, fine. Not my deal.
Thirty minutes and one cup of jungle juice later, Payton hung off Andrew’s every word. Literally hung off him. To put it lightly, she was plastered. And I was way too sober. I tossed half of my jungle juice because I needed to finish two units of chem skill builders tonight. These online assignments would be the bane of my existence. Already in the first week of class, we had more homework in Chem 311 than we did in the first month of Chem 211.
Who knew there were so many stupid chemical equations? Surely, I would use them every single day when I became a doctor.
Riiight
. Maybe if I was going into pharmacy, but pediatricians didn’t need to know how to balance chemical equations.
I paced the length of the hallway, staring at the door leading to the dance floor. If I didn’t go back in there, I was letting her win. I couldn’t let that happen. I spent two years getting my damn life back.
Heat billowed into the hallway as I opened the door and searched for my date, Rachel. I found her dancing with a small group of Thetas about five feet from Payton.
She danced with Andrew, her back plastered to the wall as he dry humped her slim curves. Her halo knocked against the cardboard cloud duct-taped to the wall and sent glitter raining down onto her head.
Rachel was pop, locking, and dropping in front of me. I’d been seeing her for two weeks and tonight
was
supposed to be the night I’d finally seal the deal with her. Somehow, Payton managed to ruin every time I even thought about scoring with someone. I had put her up on a pedestal, comparing every girl I was with to her, but they never measured up.
My gaze remained glued to her as she grinded her hips into Andrew. Her white skirt rode up her thighs, and suddenly I lost track of the beat of the song and bounced awkwardly against Rachel. She stopped dancing and turned to look at me, her eyebrow raised into a “how dare you mess up my rhythm” look. I smiled, and she went back to moving her ass on me.
Payton yelled over the music at my asshole frat brother, “You know what I think?” She touched Andrew’s chest. “I think we should go under the waterfall.”
Yep, she was definitely hammered.
Andrew had his hands on Payton’s ass as he led her to the waterfall area I spent a big part of my day mounting to the ceiling. Good thing we had cement floors, or else cleanup in the morning would have been a bitch for the pledges.
She tilted her head back, and water flowed from her face to her neck and down her shirt. The material suctioned to her like an extra layer of skin.
My mouth went dry, and my red nylon basketball shorts suddenly were a little too tight in the crotchal region.
That was my cue to get the hell out of there.
The crisp autumn air chilled me from the inside out as I stepped into the back parking lot. I shivered, the perspiration clinging to my chest and arms like a wet blanket.
Damn
. I couldn’t even enjoy my own fraternity party. Payton had to ruin that for me, too. Honestly, I didn’t even know what happened the night after graduation. It was like she had just disappeared off the face of the planet when all the shit had gone down with her father’s arrest.
I shoved my hands through my hair and took a deep breath.
Fuck!
Couldn’t she have at least called so I’d know she was alive? I’d tried so many damn times to find her when I got back from my trip with Ryan. I tugged at the roots of my hair again, the pain in my scalp numbing the ache in my chest where my heart used to be. Before it had been ripped out by the ice queen.
So many fucking times I wished I could call her and just hear her voice. But when I’d tried, her number was disconnected, and her social media profiles disappeared overnight, like she had never existed.
I pulled out my phone to text my friend Ryan, but the screen was black when I pressed the button on the side. Dead. I slid it back into my pocket and continued to pace the parking lot.
“Hey, little bro. How’s your night?” My big brother in the house, Ricky, shotgunned a beer, crushed it with his fist, and threw it at the side of the house.
Only one word could describe this night. “Shitty.”
“Must be girl trouble,
amigo
. They suck the life out of you.” He popped open another beer, downed it in three gulps, and walked back into the party.
He was right. My soul was being leeched from my body every time I thought about her.
Man, talk about pussing out. I needed to end this pity party and join the real party thumping through the brick exterior.
That’s it, buddy. Get in there and hook up with Rachel.
Just as I was about to walk in to the party, the door swung open. I jumped out of the way in time to avoid the door from slamming into my face. A blonde in a white lace bra and skirt had her legs wrapped around Andrew and her tongue shoved down his throat.
Rachel.
What. The. Fuck.
Andrew turned to me, broke away from the kiss, and said, “Mind covering for me? I’ll be a few minutes.” He gave me a thumbs-up.
This was the exact reason I hadn’t introduced Rachel to Andrew the first couple weeks we’d been dating. Girls forgot they had boyfriends around him.
Rachel giggled and continued kissing Andrew.
Did she not realize it was me? Either that, or there was something other than vodka in the jungle juice.
I held my breath and counted to ten, going through every word that described Andrew. None of them would be appropriate enough to say in front of Me-Maw, my grandmother who lived in Texas. In the same town of the college I was supposed to be going to.
Rachel may have been a throwaway, but that was still a bruise to the ego. And Andrew shouldn’t have been messing around with her when Payton was obviously into him. The fraternity usually picked legit guys to join, but this douche bag of a roommate was a real piece of work. Payton deserved better.
Not that I cared anymore.
I punched in the code on the keypad next to the doorway and walked back into the party.
“I left you for ten minutes and you’re plastered. What the hell, Payton?” A blond-haired girl, easily a nine on the hotness scale, playfully scolded her. Payton was sitting on the ground sifting sand through her fingers. Gross. She must have been more sloshed than I had thought.
“Let’s get you home, cowgirl.” Blondie attempted to pull Payton up off the floor, but she fell over giggling.
“Here, let me help,” I said to Blondie as I hoisted Payton up. Her small body flopped like a limp noodle in my arms. I stiffened as her warm skin pressed against mine. She smelled so damn good, but I couldn’t do this again. Not after what she did.
“Thanks. I’m Jules. And this is—”
“A really drunk Payton. We’ve already met.” I stuck out my hand with the arm holding up Payton’s legs. “Nice to meet you. I’m Blake.”
Jules shook my hand and flashed a smile. It didn’t get my heart racing the same as when Payton smiled at me, but she might be a perfectly good distraction. Anything to get my mind off the ice queen and her annihilation of my heart. Having her so close to me was a reminder of what I had missed while she was who knows where.
Fuck this. She left me. I wasn’t missing out on a God damn thing.
Payton shifted in my arms and finally noticed she was off the ground. Her gaze swept slowly across my chest to my arms as she stared at my muscles through hooded eyes, and then a smile broke out when she looked at my face. “Blaaaaaake! I knew you’d come back for me. I missed you!” She wrapped her arms around my neck and slid one hand down my back. I suppressed a shiver as her fingernails traced circles across my skin. A few years ago, this sly little move was her way of telling me she was in the mood.
Holy shit.
Throbbing occurred in an area of my body that made this situation awkward as hell. I shifted and thought about puppies and my me-maw. In spandex.
I would never take advantage of a drunk girl. Especially Payton.
Jules hitched her thumb in Payton’s direction. “Girl can’t hold her alcohol.”
“Apparently not. I’ll help you get her home.”
Let the shit show begin.
After dropping off Payton and Jules at their apartment, I walked back to the frat. I needed to keep my mind off her. There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d go down that road again.
I had just pulled up my chem assignment on my computer when Andrew strutted into the room.
“Damn, bro, Payton’s body is so tight. I just want to bend her over and give it to her good.” Andrew yanked off his shirt and threw it in the laundry basket in his closet.