Underneath (30 page)

‘Yes, but you’re linked with Monique, whose turned fifteen shades of crazy, so maybe your statement won’t hold as much clout as you think.’

Joe tugs my arm. ‘Mum, mum.’

‘Just a minute, Joe.’ People are bustling around us in their quest to get home from school as quickly as possible. This is not the best place to hold a conversation but I need to find out as much as I can from this man.

‘Why did she ask you to crash into his car?’

‘I’m not going into that with
you
.’

‘So why are you here? Why bother coming all the way here? You must have had some reason?’

He smirks and gets in the car that has pulled alongside us. It hares off down the street.

I turn around to tell Joe that we need to get home, but he’s not there. He’s gone from my side whilst I was distracted by Dr Love. I realise the words out of Joe’s mouth weren’t ‘Mum, Mum,’ they were ‘Mon, Mon.’

My legs give way and a scream leaves my body at a noise level and with a strength I didn’t know I had.

Someone calls the police. It’s all a blur. My voice screams for Joe, and then as much as I try and fight it, knowing I need to keep on top of things for Joe, it all goes dark.

I come round in Mrs Sullivan’s office, laid on the floor with my head on a jacket and my heels perched on the edge of a child’s chair. I’m told Niall is on his way. A policewoman is sitting in the corner and I realise there is someone to the right of me, a paramedic. ‘Okay Mrs Lawler, stay where you are a moment.”

I ignore him and sit up. I go dizzy and feel faint again. What sort of mother am I? My child needs me and I can’t help for fainting.

‘I’ll make her a cup of sweet tea,’ says Mrs Sullivan, ‘and get her a biscuit.’

My son is missing and they think I have time to drink tea and eat biscuits? Yet I know that if I don’t take this time I’ll be of no use to anyone. A trickle of water slides down my face. Niall, who has now arrived and been briefed, looks at me with concern.

‘The police are looking for them, but can you remember the number plate or make of the car?’

‘No,’ I sob. ‘It wasn’t Monique’s car.’ I curl up in a foetal position. ‘I only know it was dark blue. What the hell use am I? I don’t even know the make of it.’

‘Stop it, Lauren.’

‘I let her take my child.’

‘Before you fainted, you told the people with you that Dr Bailey deliberately distracted you. Is that true?’ The policewoman moves over toward me.

‘Yes.’ My eyes open wide. ‘She hates children, what does she want with Joe? What if she harms him? Oh God I can’t bear it.’

She places a hand on my shoulder. ‘They won’t be far. We’ve all the local airports and other travel stations covered.’

A fresh wave of horror washes over me. I never thought she might take him away somewhere. ‘Joe, Joe, Joe.’ I sit up and rock back and forth. ‘My baby, my baby.’ I stand up and a burst of adrenaline shoots through me. ‘I’ll fucking kill her.’

The policewoman guides me back to a seat. ‘You need to calm down Mrs Lawler.’ She hands me my tea. I take a sip and wince as it burns my tongue. It’s sweet and disgusting. The policewoman urges me to take another sip. ‘It’s what you need right now. We need you to calm down so that we can ask you some questions. Now don’t worry about the make of the car. There were other witnesses around who recognised it as a Mazda three, so that’s one further detail we have to go on. It’s not Dr Bailey’s car, so we’re currently looking into car rental places to see if we can get a positive ID that way.’

Of course, I’m the key witness and so far I’ve been no use to anybody, least of all Joe. I take a few deep breaths and sip the tea slowly. I ask for a biscuit and force it down. After a few minutes and two biscuits I feel calmer. ‘Okay, ask away.’

I recall the conversation with Dr Bailey and how he’d obviously been there to distract me whilst Monique got Joe in the car. I told them how I’d just thought Joe was being his usual annoying ‘mum, mum, mum’ self, and I have to bite my tongue, deliberately hurting myself until I taste blood, in order to stop from falling apart again. ‘He was saying Mon, Niall,’ I say, looking up at him and seeing my pain reflected in his face. ‘I wasn’t listening properly. I’m a hopeless mother.’

Niall comes over and gets down on his knees so he’s looking me in the eyes. His eyes flash with anger. ‘You are not a hopeless mother. Our son has wanted for nothing. But now is not about your ability as a mother Lauren. It’s not about you and it’s not about your past. It’s about now and Joe and I need you to get yourself out of this funk and into a place where you can help get our son back. Do you understand what I’m saying, Lauren?’

I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face, but in a good way, if that’s possible. As if I was sleepwalking, about to go off a cliff edge and the slap was to wake me up and bring me back from danger.

‘You’re right. I’ve got my mobile on me. We need to go looking for Joe ourselves.’

The policewoman starts to shake her head. ‘Leave it to us, we’ve everything covered. Why don’t you take her home, Mr Lawler?’

‘I’m not sitting around whilst that cow has my son somewhere.’ I snap. ‘You have my number if there are developments.’ I get up from my chair, feeling stronger now that I have a purpose. ‘Niall, let’s go, we need to find our son.’

He walks with me towards the door.

‘I’ll call you later, Lauren, and see how you’re getting on,’ says Mrs Sullivan. ‘You know we’re here for you if you need anything.’

‘Thank you,’ I tell her, and leave the school.

We sit in Niall’s car thinking about what we should do next. ‘What if she goes for Tyler next?’

Bettina turns hysterical when we tell her and then catapults into me, holding me in her arms. ‘Oh God, Lauren, I’ll help anyway I can. I feel responsible for getting you involved in all this.’

I stiffen.

‘There’s no reason behind this, she’s a nutter,’ says Niall. ‘Anyway, you may need to think about getting some protection from the police until she’s caught.

‘I’m going to drop Tyler off with my mum,’ she says. With the police there, they’ll be safe. I feel partly responsible for her behaviour. So, no arguing, but what’s the plan?

‘We’re going to look anywhere we can think of, where she might take him.’ I say.

‘Well, I’m coming with you, let’s go.’

Chapter 22

I wait at Bettina’s while Niall takes her to her mother’s to drop Tyler off. I pace around the house wondering why I didn’t go with them rather than hanging around here, but it had been agreed they would return to the house so we could think of the best way to approach things. I just want to be out there looking for my kid. I’m surprised the police haven’t called with any updates, and then I remember, of course, my mobile. I try and call Monique’s home number, but it just goes to the machine. I leave a message.

‘Mon, it’s me. I don’t know why you’ve taken Joe. Please don’t hurt him and please ring me. I thought we were friends.’ I don’t know what else to say and feel my voice breaking on the words so I hang up. I open the keypad and text the same message to her mobile. I sit on my knees next to the window ledge and pray that she’ll make contact and bring me back my son.

Niall and Bettina return within twenty-five minutes. He looks at me hopefully and I watch his face drop as I have nothing to offer him.

‘I’ve called and texted,’ I state. ‘Nothing yet.’

‘We need to come up with a list of places she might have taken him,’ says Niall. ‘She’s obviously not stupid enough to go back home.’

We sit and think and come up with the following:

Coffee shop

Gym

Supermarket

Toy shops.

‘It’s a start,’ says Niall. ‘Let’s go.’

We spend a few hours trailing around all the places we can think of, but find nothing. It’s early evening and though still light, it’s beginning to fade. It strikes me that I might have to spend the whole evening without my son. From there I start to think what if I never get him back, never see him again?

‘I think for now we need to go back home,’ says Niall. ‘We’ll leave it to the police and try again tomorrow morning.’

‘We can’t give up Niall. We have to keep looking.’

‘We need rest and some food. Remember what you’re always saying to Joe? A car can’t run without petrol? Well you need to take your own advice. We’ll go home, get some food and rest, and then we’ll take it from there, okay? If we think of anywhere else to look tonight, I promise, I’ll be the first one out of the door.’

My shoulders slump and I sit back in the front seat of the car, my eyes scan the road all the way back to Bettina’s mother’s house.

‘Ring me if there’s anything and if you go back out. I want to be there. I have my own issues with that bitch.’

‘We’ll keep you informed,’ says Niall, ‘but any issues you have, you need to keep a hold of. Joe’s our concern right now. Not the reasons she wanted to hurt us.’

Bettina looks contrite. ‘You’re right, of course. I’m sorry, I’m just tired. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. When I think about it I just get so damn angry.

‘Get some rest,’ says Niall, ‘We’ll ring you later.’

‘Right now I just want to hug my son,’ she says. ‘Oh my God, I’m sorry, that was really insensitive.’

‘No it’s not, it’s what any mum would do,’ I say. ‘Go and hug him Bettina, and don’t let him go.’

We drive back to our own house in silence, both too busy searching. We wander around inside. The house seems so empty, and quiet. My insides twist, I can feel the impression of Joe in the house, echoes of him running around making noises as his Lego figures begin battles with each other, or his voice shouting ‘Muuuuuum, I need you.’ I walk upstairs and into his bedroom. It’s a complete mess. There are figures all over the floor. His pyjamas are thrown in a heap where he took them off, and the books and magazines he’s read are strewn across the bookshelves rather than being placed back in a tidy order. I think of all the times I’ve nagged him to tidy his bedroom and now I just want to see him in this room, being Joe; a messy, nine year old kid. I don’t need to close his bedroom curtains, yet I do. I see his bedtime pal, a soft blue rabbit that he still takes to bed, a reminder to me that he’s still my little boy, no matter how fast he seems to be growing up. I curl up on his bed with the rabbit and hold it close, breathing in the smell of Joe on it, and wondering where my son will be spending the night, praying he is safe and warm. I tell Joe goodnight and hope wherever he is he can hear me. I fall asleep on his bed, stress makes me blank everything out.

For a few blissful moments when I wake, I have peace, and then it all floods back. How can I have fallen asleep whilst my son is missing? I don’t know what the time is, but it’s becoming lighter. I run to our bedroom where Niall is asleep, sitting up in bed, my mobile at the side of his own. I pick it up but there are no messages or missed calls. It does inform me however that it has just passed five am. I ring Monique’s number again.

‘Mum?’

‘Joe? Oh my God, Joe. Are you okay?’

Niall shoots up in bed. ‘You’ve got him?’

I wave a finger to warn him to be quiet.

‘Hi mum, you have to be quiet cos Auntie Mon is sleeping. She was awake nearly all night. You’ve nearly woke her up. It’s really early you know?’

‘Joe, where are you? Do you know?’

‘Have you forgotten silly? Auntie Mon said she’d told you where we were going. She said it was a surprise.’

‘Is Matt with you?’

‘No. Auntie Mon took him home. It’s been awesome mum, she’s bought me new clothes and toys and everything.’

‘Joe listen to me. I’ve forgotten where she said she was taking you. Can you tell me?’

‘We’re in Manchester. We’ve been to the Science and Industry Museum, and today she’s taking me to Legoland Discovery. She’s promised me loads of Legos.’

‘Joe, something’s happened and I need you back home. Nothing to worry about, but the police need to see Monique.’

‘Has her mum died?’

‘No, but it’s something like that. I don’t want you to worry her, so I’m going to come and get you both, and I don’t want you to tell her anything okay? Not even that you’ve talked to me. Can you do that?’

‘Course I can. I’m not two.’

‘Do you know where you are?

‘We’re in a hotel called Doubletree. It’s easy to remember cos you just have to think of two trees. It’s near the train station cos we didn’t have to walk far. I need to go now mum, Auntie Mon’s waking up.’

‘Okay, Sweetie, try and stay at the hotel as long as you can.’

‘Okay, Mum.’

He hangs up and I shout all the details at Niall. He calls the police and I ring Bettina, whilst throwing things in my handbag.

The police tell us to wait to hear from them. We have no intention of waiting in Sheffield, so they agree that we can travel to Manchester, and we arrange to wait in a cafe upstairs in Piccadilly Train Station.