Undermind: Nine Stories (22 page)

He hoped Lance would arrive quickly. Even though
Lance was his best friend, he felt like he was now perfectly
situated inside a recipe for disaster. Whenever he was alone with a
pretty woman and alcohol was involved, it almost always ended the
same way, whether he intended it to or not. Knowing that Lance was
on his way meant that it wouldn’t happen tonight, but seeds might
get planted in Kim’s mind. And so far, Tom had been very good about
not having sex with Kim.

Tom was proud of himself for this accomplishment
and for making this sacrifice, and for doing so well for so long.
But now here they were alone and drinking together.
Where
 
was
 
Lance, anyway?

“Lance should be here by now. I’m gonna find out
what’s up with him.” Tom pulled out his cell phone and touched the
screen a few times then placed the phone to his ear.

Kim looked at her gold watch, frowned and said,
“You’re right. I can’t believe he’s late to his own birthday
party.” She watched Tom expectantly, waiting for a sign that Lance
had answered his phone, but Tom just glanced around the restaurant
with a blank expression, looking at framed paintings on the walls
as he listened to Lance’s phone ring over and over. Kim noticed
Tom’s full lips and she wondered what they’d feel like to kiss.
Then she imagined biting Tom’s lower lip and running her fingers
through his curly blonde hair, and then she consciously stopped
herself. She told herself she was engaged now so it didn’t matter
how sexy Tom was. Besides, she was going to be seeing a lot of Tom
once she married Lance, so she might as well start learning now to
view him as off-limits.

***

The paramedic named Jorge instinctively touched
his hand to his pocket when he heard a cell phone ring to see if he
felt vibration or if it was someone else’s phone that was just
barely audible over the sound of the wailing siren. He didn’t feel
anything. He looked at the gravely wounded man lying in front of
him strapped to the ambulance gurney and saw the rectangular shape
in the man’s pant pocket. Jorge put his hand on the shape and felt
it vibrate.

Jorge and his partner Luis who was driving the
ambulance had once talked about whether they should answer ringing
cell phones belonging to the people they were rushing to the
hospital. Luis was concerned about the feelings of the injured
person’s loved ones who didn’t know what had happened to the person
they were trying to call and who might not find out for hours or
possibly even days. He would hate it if he kept calling his
girlfriend and got no answer and didn’t know it was because she was
injured.

Jorge had much more practical concerns like
taking care of the patient and not getting caught up in trying to
explain to people what condition a person was in mere moments after
critical care had begun. Luis countered that not all calls are life
and death. There were plenty of times when you could give a good
description of someone’s condition. What if the patient was only
moderately injured, or just being taken in to make sure there
wasn’t any unknown internal bleeding, or if they had a broken leg
or something?

Jorge, sticking with practicality and simplicity
said, “Should we make a chart of injuries with a column that says
Answer Cell Phone – Yes or No and like, put a checkbox for what
category the person should be in?” That ended the discussion and
they continued not answering patient’s phones whenever they
rang.

***

Tom heard Lance’s voicemail greeting begin so he
touched the screen to end the call and put his phone down on the
table. “Hmm,” he said and waived for the waiter to come over.

“He didn’t answer?”

“No.”

“Maybe he finished work late and he’s taking a
shower.”

“Can I get another Long Island?” He turned to
Kim, “You want another?”

“Sure. I deserve it for being early!”

“And another of whatever she’s having.”

“Tom Collins,” she said.

“Tom Halverson,” Tom corrected her.

“No, the drink,” Kim replied, laughing.

“I just ordered you one.”

“I know,” she said and laughed even harder.

“What’s so funny - my name or your drink?” Tom
was confused.

This struck Kim as even more hilarious than ever
and she entered a laughing fit. Tom smiled. He didn’t know what she
was laughing about but he was enjoying the moment anyway, even if
it was at his expense. Kim was a joy to look at, and when she
smiled she looked even more vibrant and beautiful. Somehow, Tom
thought, Lance always landed the hottest women. The only problem
was, he stayed with them for so damned long.

Kim finally regained some composure that
threatened to evaporate at the slightest provocation and said, “Tom
Collins!” and burst out laughing again with tears now running
through her eyeliner and streaking her cheekbones with inky black
liquid.

Tom shook his head and said, “Halverson.” Kim
was now laughing so hard she fell off her chair and curled up on
the floor hugging her sides. Tom was glad that they were in a
private dining area. Otherwise, the entire restaurant would be
looking their way. He still didn’t even know what was so funny. He
got up and went around the table to help Kim off the floor.

“Come on, funny lady. You can’t lie on the floor
in a nice restaurant.” He took hold of her left arm and reached
down with his right hand and slid it between her upper torso and
the floor so he could help her up. As he did so, his hand brushed
the side swell of her breast and he could’ve sworn he heard Kim
make an “mmm” sound. He got her into a sitting position and quickly
let go of her but remained close in case she started to topple
again.

“Oh God, you crack me up!” she said, taking
slow, deep breaths and waiting to see if she was done laughing or
if she was going to start back up again. “Help me up,” she said,
raising her arms to Tom.

Tom’s charm with women was automatic and
something he’d always had. He didn’t understand it and he didn’t
even think about it. It had just always been that way since he was
a teenager. He knew what to say, how to say it, and when. When he
really wanted a woman, he almost never failed to take her home.
Whenever he was around Kim and Lance he was uncomfortable to a
degree because he had to consciously not be himself and not
accidently seduce Kim.  Tom didn’t like having to constantly
second-guess himself and he never did so when he wasn’t around Kim
and Lance. Now, being that Lance still wasn’t there and he’d had
enough alcohol to shut down any self-censoring efforts, he acted
without even thinking.

Tom bellowed in a high-pitched, nasally, New
England accent, “Clam chowdah!” as he pulled up on Kim’s arms,
bringing her to her feet, at which point she began laughing again
and fell into him. He didn’t know why he’d said that, but on some
level he knew that she would find it just funny enough to resume
her laughing fit, and he wanted it to continue.

She laughed into his neck with her mouth open,
and Tom was acutely aware of the sensation of her lips and tongue
each time they touched his skin, and the soft but firm pressure her
breasts were exerting on his abdomen, jiggling and bouncing as she
laughed. He almost decided that he would have sex with her despite
his promises, but as soon as the thought occurred to him, he
stopped thinking and tried to form a wall between his mind and his
libido. He had promised himself
 
and Lance
 
that he’d never do that again. Twelve years ago
he had outright stolen Lance’s first girlfriend from him and
marveled at the ease with which one person could emotionally
destroy another.

He had no doubt that he had caused many men that
same level of pain over the years and it didn’t really bother him,
but he never forgot what he’d done to Lance and how badly he’d hurt
him. He thought Lance was stupid for feeling any emotion at all
about a girl, but no matter how dumb Lance was when it came to
women, the simple facts were that the pain was real, he had caused
it, and his friend had felt it.

Afterwards, he didn’t have any kind of epiphany
leading to a life change or anything, but he did vow to never hurt
his best friend that way again. And he was tempted many times. Tom
simply loved women and enjoyed them in all of their glorious
variety. He wasn’t very picky and he didn’t only pursue beautiful
women the way Lance seemed to do. It was true that he felt a much
stronger attraction to physically beautiful women, but he didn’t
really pursue any certain type. He took whatever came along, and
the stream was steady.

It was only the women that Lance got involved
with that Tom had to be careful about. He could’ve taken every
subsequent girlfriend that Lance ever had over the years if he had
wanted to. He was sure of it. Tom didn’t know a lot about life or
any meaning therein, but he knew one thing – he was made for
fucking. It was his only purpose in life. And he was great at
it.

Now he could feel that familiar energy settling
over himself and Kim – the one that told him that she was his for
the asking. And he was
 
not
 
going
to ask.

Kim finally stopped laughing and drew her face
away from Tom’s neck and put her hands on his shoulders as she
looked up into his eyes. “I don’t remember the last time I laughed
so hard. Thank you. I needed that.” She smiled at him and was about
to lean forward to kiss him when she realized what she was doing
and stopped herself – awkwardly, with her lips a few inches away
from his. She shook her head as a chill traveled down her spine,
rattling her wavy blonde hair and said, “I’ll be right back,” and
headed off toward the restrooms.

Tom sat back down in his chair and finished his
new drink in one long gulp. “God help me,” he said. He felt an
uncomfortable sensation in his groin and realized he’d gotten an
erection which was now constrained by pointing down his pant leg.
He needed to adjust it so it pointed upwards, free of tension. He
reached into his pants to make the needed adjustment and the waiter
walked in, saw where Tom’s hand was and said, “Excuse me, sir. I
can come back” and quickly departed.

Tom pulled his hand out of his pants feeling
much more comfortable, although embarrassed now too. Then he
reached his other hand into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone
and tried calling Lance again.
 
“Hello! You’ve reached Beaumont Security.
Please leave your name and number and I promise I’ll get right back
to you. Thanks!”

“Come on, Lance. Where are you?” Tom said to the
empty room.

***

Lance was in darkness. Floating. And Devon
wasn’t very far away. Now that the game was on, Devon was sticking
around, hoping it didn’t end prematurely. Things were off to a
beautiful start and it would be really unfortunate if Lance died
and Devon had to start over.

After spending some time disoriented in
darkness, Lance became aware of light. It was very bright and
inviting and he floated toward it. Then he heard distant beeping
and voices somewhere behind him and he paused in his forward
motion. He felt like he was inside of a television that was tuned
between stations. White noise and snow. Flickering black specks.
Incoherent voices and sounds fading in and out.

 He felt that he had a choice to make. He
could go forward to the warm, welcome light that was gentle and
inviting, or he could go backward toward the sounds. He swirled
around so he was facing the opposite direction, although he was not
aware of making any movement with his body at all. In fact, it
didn’t seem like he even had a body. He felt like he was nothing
but awareness, like in a dream where you’re observing what’s
happening but don’t seem to be present anywhere the way everyone
else is.

There was a white light in this direction too,
but it was cold and harsh and there were shadows moving around in
it. The shadows seemed to be in the same place as the voices and
the beeping. He moved forward a little and things started to come
into a soft focus. The source of the white light was suspended
above a man who was surrounded by people wearing surgical scrubs
who were focusing intently on him. He could hear what the voices
were saying now.

“BP: ninety over sixty.”

“…another five milliliters,”

“Clamp, please - I need this clamped!”

Loudly, coming from multiple locations: “Dr.
Swearinger, you have a call on line two. Dr. Swearinger, line two,
please,”

“He’s crashing! We’ve lost the heartbeat.”

“I’ve got him, I’ve got him!”

Lance realized that this was a hospital and
these people were apparently trying to save the man’s life, but he
had no personal stake in the outcome so it wasn’t very interesting.
It didn’t matter to him if they saved the person or not. He didn’t
even know why he was here watching them. In fact, wasn’t he
supposed to be somewhere else? He felt like he was, but he didn’t
have the slightest idea where he should be.

He started drifting to the left to see the faces
of the other people working on the person whose chest was wide
open. There was a doctor doing something to the heart. He looked at
the people in scrubs to see if anyone looked familiar to him which
might explain why he was here watching them, and as he revolved
around the operating table he stopped at the foot of it and looked
at the patient’s face.

It was
 
his
 
face!
 
He
 
was the
patient. He found that to be rather startling. What was he doing on
the operating table when he was up here, watching? He briefly felt
a sense of bi-location and then lost awareness as he suddenly
re-entered the body lying on the operating table.