Underestimated Too (34 page)

‘I’ll let you work,’ she timidly said, standing. I
didn’t like timid Morgan anymore. I liked strong Morgan. The one that told me
Marta wasn’t my maid and to pick up my empty glass or carry my own plate to the
kitchen. The Morgan that barged into my office, demanding me to go down on her,
that’s the Morgan I wanted. I kept fucking bringing it back. Over and over, I
let my bastard self spill out, time and time again.

‘Morgan?’ I softly spoke with a remorseful smile.

She weakly smiled back.

 ‘I’m fine. I’ll see you at dinner,’ she sadly
responded, seeing herself out.”

“Those were the days that I struggled to remember
and forget at the same time,” I said, talking to Drew and not Deidra. Drew knew
what I meant. Deidra wouldn’t.

Deidra talked to us more about fixing things that
day, if there was such a thing.

“Tell me what your loneliness is, Morgan,” she
requested.

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“When do you feel alone?”

“I honestly don’t feel that way, at all.”

“You have to feel something. What about after an
incident? How do you feel after a fight or one of your issues with Drew?”

“Drew is very attentive towards me after an episode.
I don’t feel lonely with Drew. Drew is always with me, even when he’s not.
Unless he is in the air, he can see me from anywhere in the country in any room
of our house,” I explained.

“Okay, let’s forget feeling lonely. How does it make
you feel to know that he is always watching you? You don’t find that a little
stalky?” Deidra prompted.

I snorted. “Oh, I find it a lot stalky. Do I mind
it? No, not at all. I’m used to it. Drew’s watched me since the first day I
came here when I was eighteen. Drew’s seen me more exposed than anyone I’ve
ever known,” I tried to explain to Deidra. How do you explain a love like ours?
Nobody could understand it, and I wasn’t sure how to clarify it.

“Nothing else matters,” Drew helped.

I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant.

Deidra didn’t. “What do you mean, Drew?”

“I’m an imperfect man, and I’ve made my wife an
imperfect woman. We’re just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each
other. She will forever be my always.”

Ahhh, I loved that. She will forever be my always. I
would never forget those words as long as I lived, the way Drew looked at me
when he said them or the emotion behind his eyes.

Deidra gave us homework after that session,
requesting that we both bring her a five item bitch list for our next visit. I
was thinking more about what Drew would say than what I was going to say.

“Morgan, look at the guy that just walked in here,”
Alicia whispered across the table during lunch at our favorite little sandwich
shop. I turned, doing a double take.

“Wow, if I didn’t know Drew was an only child, I’d
call him his brother. That’s a little scary,” I determined, looking at the guy
who looked a lot like my husband. His physique wasn’t quite as strong as Drew’s
and his hair was longer, but his facial features were haunting.

“You sure Drew doesn’t have a brother,” Alicia asked.

“I’m sure,” I stated. “What if he does? What if that
guy really is his brother? Maybe Drew secretly sees him when he goes on trips,
or talks to him in his office. What if he….” I rattled on and on.

“Jesus, Morgan. I was joking. I’m sure that’s not
Drew’s brother. You need to stop reading those books,” Alicia decided, taking a
bite of her turkey club. I turned to see the guy putting on one of the brown
aprons. Alicia was right. Drew’s brother wouldn’t be working in a place like
that. I did need to stop reading those books.

***

Drew and I spent three days at the beach house alone
with Nicky. I loved Celeste, Alicia, and their two adorable kids. I was even a
little disappointed when they didn’t want to come, too busy with the new house,
new baby, and Vincent’s new obsession to learn to golf. After the first night I
was glad it was just us.

We ate supper with my mom. Drew, Jason, and Caroline
looked for sea glass with baby Nick in a backpack on Drew’s back. I was so
happy and in love with my family. Drew put Nicholas to bed while I showered, and
then we sat out on the deck listening to the waves lap along the shore.

“Come over here,” Drew requested, wanting me beside
him and not in my own chair. I didn’t mind. The evening air coming from the
ocean was a little nippy. Drew was warm.

“Hmm, this is my favorite place to be,” I said,
snuggling into Drew’s arms.

“Where, the beach house?”

“No, inside your hug.”

I felt Drew smile on my forehead as he kissed me
lightly. We talked for over an hour, just enjoying the conversation and each
other’s company. We stopped talking when it almost turned into an argument.
Drew was adamant about Nicky being homeschooled, I was not. I wanted him around
other kids. We could wait on that one. He just turned one. We made love
instead.

I’m not sure how my brain worked, but that’s where
it happened, right out of the blue, I thought of it while my husband slid in
and out of me, making slow passionate love to me; the new guy at the sandwich shop.
It could work. Nobody looks exactly like their driver’s license. Shit. I how
was I supposed to get that from Drew’s wallet?

“Are you still with me, Mrs. Kelley?” Drew asked,
interrupting the scheme going on inside my head. “I don’t feel like you’re feeling
me anymore,” Drew blamed.

“Oh, I’m feeling you,” I teased with a kiss.

***

I didn’t have to really lie to Drew about going into
town. It just so happened that two of my favorite authors had books released
over the next couple weeks.

“That makes no sense to me. You have five electronic
devises; you could buy the books and be reading them in two minutes. Why do you
have to have the paperback?”

“Because, Drew. I have all those beautiful shelves
in there. I like to display them after I’ve read them. And I like reading to
Nicky with an actual page and not something with a light behind it. Have you
ever really looked at a book cover? It’s an art as much as the book itself.”

“It’s not art, and Nicholas loves when I read to him
from my tablet. The stories interact with him more.”

“His parents should interact with him more. I’m just
going to eat at Panino’s and stop at the book store and maybe the library.”

“Why do you have to go to both? You know what? Never
mind. Just go. I’ll see you in two hours,” Drew agreed, looking at his watch.

Yes!

I got one of the two books first, figuring I’d say
they didn’t have the other one yet, needing an excuse to go again the following
week. I wanted to scope this guy out, maybe talk to him or something. Once I’d
checked out three novels and two baby books for Nicky. Taking the booth closest
to the counter, I ordered my sandwich and an ice tea.

I should have come sooner. All I got to do was watch
him work. A lunch crowd entered, taking up all his time. Observing him, I
watched him, speedily take orders, get trays, drinks, and repeat. Drew said two
hours. I could stick around for forty minutes. Hopefully the crowd would
dissipate by then. He didn’t sound like Drew at all. His pitch was a lot higher
than Drew’s. He really didn’t look like Drew at all. His nose was wider and his
lips were thinner. Drew’s eyebrows were more stylish too, of course he paid
someone to make them look like that. I wondered if he’d have a makeover to look
more like Drew, have his eyebrows done and cut his hair like Drew’s. Sure he
would, money talks. If I’ve learned anything about having money from Drew, it
would be that money can buy anything, and I do mean anything.

I wanted to search my phone about the regulations of
having a deposit box at the bank. I didn’t know these things. Drew took care of
that stuff. I didn’t dare do it on my phone. Drew would know. I didn’t search
anything that
he
didn’t think I needed to go to. Like Facebook. He wouldn’t
even let me join a book club where you could chat with people that liked the
same genre of books as you. I could research a book or surf for new releases,
but I couldn’t talk to someone about them.

Thinking about not being able to do what I wanted
without having my husband furious with me led me to thinking about our last
appointment with Deidra. First, I thought about the way Drew controlled
everything that I did. I knew he did it out of love and worried about me
constantly. He blamed it on my two years of him not knowing where I was, but I
knew it was more of a control thing. For whatever reason, Drew had to be in
control of everything, and he was obsessive compulsive when it came to
controlling me.

Looking at the time on my phone, I knew I had to
leave in ten more minutes in order to make Drew’s two hour rule. Drew’s twin
did a good job rushing the long line through, maybe he could get the last two
out of there long enough for me to order a gourmet coffee for Drew. Standing I
gathered my things and got behind the last guy.

“Can I get a large, butter toffee, premium coffee,
please?”

“Coming right up.” He smiled. That was it. His smile
and his eyes; that’s why he looked so much like Drew. This could work. Couldn’t
it? UGH! Was I stupid or what? Did I think I was going to be able to walk up to
a perfect stranger and say what? Hey, how are you? Would you like to have a
makeover, impersonate my husband, fraudulently open his safety deposit box, and
maybe take a chance on going to prison? What was I thinking? Sure he’d do that,
why wouldn’t he.”

“Ma’am,” I heard, shaking my internal rant.

“Oh, sorry,” I apologized, handing him my card.

I should have just let it go. I couldn’t. I felt
like there was something in that deposit box that would give me something about
Drew. It didn’t make sense. Drew had a hidden vault system at the house with
more technology than a bank. It had to be his finger print and a thin beam of
light shined in his eye before it would even let him put in a combination.

Why would Michael or Drew get a deposit box at the
bank? I knew how sophisticated the vault was. Drew explained it to me one afternoon,
telling me how if anyone got into it without his physical traits, they would be
sprayed with a massive amount of teargas. I couldn’t understand the purpose of
the lock box, I thought as I headed home.

“Hey, where’s my little man?” I asked, seeing Marta
setting the table.

“Drew heard him whine a little,” she explained,
rolling her eyes. I smiled and went to find him in Drew’s office, I was sure.

Opening the door, I laughed when I saw Nicky. He was
no doubt Drew’s son. Drew had him in the middle of his desk, covered in
paperwork, wearing nothing but a diaper. He was having a ball, crumpling up
papers.

“I hope none of that is important,” I said, taking
Nicholas as he lunged for me.

“No, I was shredding them. He was learning how to
increase his margins.”

“You were not, were you? You were thinking about
what a pretty waterfall you could paint on the paper, weren’t you, buddy?” I
asked, kissing his little cheeks as his fingers went straight for my earrings
and Drew’s hand stung my ass.

“He was not thinking about painting waterfalls. He’s
going to be a business man. No son of mine is going to paint waterfalls,” Drew
assured me, being extremely serious.

“How about our little girl? Can she paint?”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Heavens no, Nicky just turned one. I just meant if
we ever have a little girl.”

“Do you want to have a little girl?”

“Maybe when Nicholas is like three or so. I’m not
ready to be fat and pregnant again.”

“You were never fat. You were a beautiful momma to
be.”

“Let’s just practice for a couple years.”

“Mmm? I don’t know. I’m thinking I would like
Nicholas to have a sibling to grow up with. If we had another boy they could be
like two years apart.”

“Forget it, Drew. We’re not having another baby
right now.”

“Why? You love Alicia’s baby.”

“Why do you always call her Alicia’s baby? She’s
Celeste’s baby too, and she does have a name.”

“You’re just trying to change the subject.”

“Drew, stop. We’re not having a baby right now.”
Damn it. He wasn’t doing this right now. I didn’t want another baby yet.
Nicholas was still a baby. I would put my foot down if he insisted on this.

“We’ll discuss it later.”

“No, Drew, there is nothing to discuss. We’ll talk
about it in another year or so.”

“We’ll talk about it when I say we’ll talk about it.
Get out of here, Celeste just pulled up,” Drew ordered, kissing and dismissing
me to leave him alone. I wouldn’t do it. There were just some things he
couldn’t control.

***

“Morgan, would you like to start where Drew left off
last week?” Deidra asked after getting me coffee and Drew a drink.