Underestimated (29 page)

and in love, not thinking about Drew at all. I did have a

nightmare, and woke up panting and gasping for air, with

Dawson holding me tight.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you,” he whispered over

and over as I came to my senses.

“Dawson?”

“Shhhh, I’m right here, Ry.”

I realized that he really was there, and instantly

relaxed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, kissing

my head.

“No. Just don’t let me go.”

I never did tell Dawson about my dream that night,

but I did come to the conclusion that he only asked about

my past when I woke him in a panic. That was my new

goal in life. Don’t have a nightmare and Dawson wouldn’t

ask about where I had come from. That dream too was

very real, although it had nothing at all to do with my life

with Drew. It was about Dawson. Derik had shot him in

the head right in front of me while Drew dragged me by

my hair to the awaiting limousine. It haunted me for days. I

would never forgive myself if something happened to him

because of me. I didn’t think that I could live without him.

He was too much a part of me, and I loved him more than

anything in life.

I started taking three instead of two of Starlight’s

all natural sleep aids. It helped. I slept sound without

being haunted from my past. It had been almost a month

since I had woken trembling, and scared.

Dawson and I, Lauren and Levi all got together at

Star’s for Thanksgiving. We had a lot of fun yelling at the

television at our favorite football teams. Star was an

awesome cook, and I think everyone ate more than their

fair share. We didn’t leave Star’s until almost midnight,

and I went home with Dawson, only because neither of us

wanted to be woken by my annoying neighbor who we

both loved dearly. We just wanted to sleep in.

We went right to bed and for some reason Dawson

decided that I needed to talk again. I was extremely

annoyed with him. We had a great day and had just made

beautiful love together, and he wanted to go and ruin it.

“You still haven’t told me how you got away from

Drew,” he said with a soft kiss. I was glad that it was

dark, and he couldn’t see me roll my eyes.

I rolled over to my side, and he snuggled up to my

back.

“I’m too tired for that,” I stated. I wasn’t tired at

all. I just didn’t want to end a perfect day with that.

“You can’t avoid it forever, Ry.”

“I could if you would shut up about it.”

“But, you know that I’m not going to.”

I sat up. I was pissed. I didn’t know where it was

coming from because I didn’t have that emotion. I was

never allowed to have that emotion. I didn’t care. If he

wanted to do this then that’s what we were going to do.

“Fine, Dawson. What would you like to know?

Would you like to hear more about how fucked up my sex

life was or were you thinking more along the lines of when

he beat the shit out of me?” I asked, angrily.

“Riley, uh-uh, we’re not doing this. I’m sorry. I

didn’t mean to upset you.”

Damnit all the way to hell. Why did he have to be

so good to me?

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, and he pulled me to him.

We lay quietly for a long time. The only noise was

a dog barking down the street somewhere, and his

occasional kiss to my head every now and then.

“Rebecca came into my room once I was allowed

out of the gym,” I began, and I felt Dawson hold me a little

tighter. “I didn’t feel well. My face was pretty busted up,

and my ankle was black and blue. She got close enough

when she sat my supper on my night stand so that she

couldn’t be heard through Drew’s security system, and

whispered.

“I have a plan.”

I looked at her, and she looked back with eyes that

told me not to speak. She winked and left me with a little

bit of hope.

A week later Derik drove us to the library and for

some reason followed us in. I assumed it was because

Drew had told him to.

That didn’t stop Rebecca. She got a magazine and

pretended to point and talk about an article.

“You need to take some of his money,” she started.

I looked at her with a, you’re crazy expression,

and she gave me a look to turn back to the book.

I turned back to the magazine. “How the hell do

you propose that I do that?”

“I know where he keeps the key to his office.

We’ll wait until he is out of town and go in.”

“And do what?”

“I have been in that office numerous times. We can

get on his computer. We’ll open a fake account, and you

can start moving some money.”

“You’re nuts. What the hell am I supposed to do

with it once I have it?”

“I have been talking to a lady that is going to help

you get a new identity.”

I looked up at her again, and she tapped the page

and pretended to laugh, knowing that Derik was watching

us.

“He’ll find me, Rebecca,” I assured her.

“Not with a new identity and a move someplace in

the middle of nowhere.”

I looked up to her again, but this time she didn’t

point at the magazine. She smiled a warm, it’ll be okay,

smile.

“I’m scared,” I admitted.

“You are scared every time you see that bastard

come home. Would you rather be scared with him or

without him?”

I thought about what she was suggesting nonstop. I

tried all evening to read the book that I had gotten from the

library, but my mind kept going to her plan. Could I really

just disappear and become someone else? The thought of it

caused a flood of adrenalin. I wondered where I would

live, what my new name would be, having my own car, a

job. I could have a job and not be forced to stay home all

the time.

I jumped when Derik and Drew walked into the

living room, arguing about losing a big account. I closed

my book and started to leave them alone.

“Don’t move,” Drew demanded with a pointed

finger in my direction. He never looked at me and kept

going with the conversation. I listened closer. Maybe I

should start paying more attention. If I was somehow going

to steal his money, I should probably know a little more

about it.

“It’s not dead yet, Drew, just calm down,” Derik

said, sucking up to him.

“He’s looking at a two hundred thousand dollar

cushion cut diamond with 2 trapezoid cut diamonds on the

sides totaling 1.63 ctw. I have nothing of that magnitude.”

“I’ll find something,” Derik promised. I hated him.

“You better hope you do,” Drew threatened. “Get

out of here, I need to relieve some stress,” he demanded. I

was about to be his stress relief.

Drew walked over and closed the pocket doors

behind him. He sat on the couch and took my book.

“John Grisham? Didn’t he make a movie?”

Yeah, a bunch asshole.

“Yes, a few.”

Drew pulled my back to his chest and handed me

the book. “Read it to me,” he demanded, spreading my

legs.

Why? You’re too ignorant to understand it

anyway.

“Read it to you?” I asked.

“Morgan,” he warned. “You know that I hate it

when you repeat stupid questions. Yes, start from the

beginning and read it,” he demanded.

It was an older book, but I had never read it

before, but always wanted to. I was only allowed to check

one a week out, and I wasn’t allowed to download

anything on my Kindle. He took care of the books that I

was to read on it. All of a sudden I was happy to be

reading The Rain Maker to him. I would have hated to

read the smut from my Kindle to him. I was thankful that he

never thought about it.

Drew sat up a little and removed his shirt, and then

slid to the far end of the couch. He patted the sofa between

his legs and I slid in. I hated being nestled into his bare

chest. There was nothing sexy about it at all. I don’t mean

him. He was sexy as hell, but only on the outside.

I started from the beginning as he pulled my

sundress over my legs and caressed the inside of my leg. I

swear if I could disown my vagina I would have. I had no

idea what I was reading. The closer his fingers came to

my sex that I was sure was already wet, the harder it was

for me to read. I stopped when his fingers slid up me.

“Keep reading.”

Fuck…

I knew my breathing was becoming erratic, and I

didn’t even know if I was reading in order. I could have

been reading the same sentence over and over and

wouldn’t have known it. My eyes closed briefly when he

applied soft circular motion to my bullet.

“You’re all wet, Morgan,” he whispered to my

hair.

You think?

I don’t know if it was guilt from the light bruising

still on my face or what it was, but Drew was a lot more

attentive that night than he normally was. I was trying my

damnedest to focus on what I was reading and not the way

his fingers were antagonizing me.

“Come for me,” he requested, picking up speed.

I was afraid that it was a trick. I kept reading.

He moved from behind me to in front of me,

spreading my legs on each side of him. I squirmed into his

fingers as he slid his middle finger inside of me while his

thumb tortured my clit.

“Keep reading,” he said when I stopped.

He did let me come, but it wasn’t easy. I wasn’t

allowed to stop reading, not even when I was breaking

and spiraling from my reached ecstasy.

Drew stood and removed his dress pants and told

me once again to keep reading when I stopped. He lifted

my legs to my chest. I knew he wasn’t paying one bit of

attention to what I was reading. It was nothing but a mind

game. I stopped reading again when he came between my

legs on his knees and entered me. Again, he reminded me

that I was to keep reading.

I didn’t want to read. I wanted to come again, and I

knew that the chances of me being allowed to do that were

slim to none. Drew moved in and out of me while his

thumb circled my core, and I tried my best to focus on the

words in front of me.

Chapter
11

“Okay. Stop talking about the sex, and get to the

part where you left,” Dawson interrupted.

“I am getting to that part,” I replied, but didn’t

want to get to any more parts. I wanted to have an orgasm.

“No. you’re not. You are going to stop any second

now and tell me that you need for me to take care of you.”

Shit…

“I kind of like that idea better than talking,” I

admitted, trying to be sexy. I wondered if I could take

control. Could I lead him rather than him always leading

me? I would have never tried it with Drew. I knew from

the bottom of my heart that Dawson would never hurt me,

physically or emotionally. Not intentionally anyway. I

decided to try. Hey, I was already miles away from my

comfort zone any way, might as well add another

milestone.

I straddled him leaning against the headboard, and

his hands went to my hips, grasping the satin material in

his hands. Okay. Maybe I should have thought about it for

a few days before I acted on it. I didn’t know what to do

next, and I felt self-conscious, and ashamed of myself for

some reason.

Dawson sensed it. I swear that man could read my

thoughts.

“You can start by kissing me,” he smiled as if he

knew what I was struggling with.

I did kiss him, and his hands ran up my back and

sides, lifting the material as they traveled. I moaned in his

mouth and ground into him. He rolled me over, and I was

glad. I wasn’t ready to take the lead. I had wanted to give

him a blowjob for months now, but he wouldn’t ask for it

or better yet demand it. That’s what I needed him to do,

but he would never do that. That, I was sure of, although I

had a feeling that he would enjoy it. I was somewhat of an

expert at it. I knew that it wasn’t going to be that night. I

couldn’t work up the nerve to do it.

Dawson towered over me, kissing and whispering

how beautiful I was, how much he loved me, and how

much he loved making love to me. I loved him too, but at

that given moment I just needed a fire put out.

“Tell me what you need, Ry,” Dawson’s warm