Underestimated (23 page)

That was the first night that I didn’t remember what

I dreamed. I knew that it must have been bad though. I

woke to Star on the side of my bed shaking me and yelling

my name.

I startled her as much as she startled me when I

screamed and jumped to the top corner of the bed. My hair

was drenched from sweat and my damp nightshirt stuck to

my body. My breathing was erratic, and I was sucking in

air that wasn’t available.

“Jesus, Riley.” Starlight exclaimed with wide

eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized once I realized where I

was.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I splashed cold

water on my face and the back of my neck.

I hung out in the small hotel bathroom as long as I could,

hoping that she would go back to sleep. She didn’t. She

had a smile, a cup of water and two little pills waiting on

me.

“Here, take these. It’ll help,” she said warmly.

“What is it?” I asked, taking the pills. I didn’t

really care what they were. I would take anything if it

would help. Her relaxing tea sure the hell didn’t work. It

helped me fall asleep but didn’t keep me asleep.

“Just Melatonin. It’s all natural, and will help

regulate your sleep and your wake cycle.”

I already knew that the two little pills were all

natural. Starlight wouldn’t dare put anything with

chemicals in her body.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she smiled.

Of course, I didn’t want to talk to her about how

fucked up I was. “What did I say?” I asked. That’s what I

wanted to know. I wanted to know how much I said. I

wondered had the alcohol kept me from remembering what

I had dreamt. I always knew what I dreamed about. They

were too real not to remember.

“I’m not really sure what you were saying. It was

mostly muffled. Are you okay now?”

She lied. I nodded and lay down.

I did sleep the rest of the night or morning I should

say. I finally dozed back off, freaked out about what I had

said and wondering what it was that I had dreamt about.

I was woken early. Starlight was in the shower,

and I heard the two little dings from her cellphone. I sat up

and nosily slid open her screen on the night stand between

our beds.

It was from Dawson.

“Sorry, was on phone. Is she okay now?” It read.

I couldn’t help it. I had to see what she had said to

him. I could still hear the shower running, so I had time. I

went to the first message so that I could read the

conversation in order.

“Dawson…What the hell? You need to give me

some answers about Riley.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think that is a dumb question, and you already

know what I mean. She woke up screaming, drenched in

sweat during the night, and the things that she was saying

were horrific. Don’t tell me you sleep with her every night

and don’t know what I am talking about.”

“I know what you’re talking about, but I promised

her that I would keep it to myself. I can’t Star.”

That made me feel good. He was being loyal to

me.

“I think she needs help, Dawson.”

“She does, but she won’t get it.”

“If it’s the money, I would gladly help her out.”

“It’s not. She doesn’t want anyone to know where

she came from. Please just let it go. I am afraid that she

will run, and I don’t want her to do that. I love her.”

That made me smile again.

“We’re here for two more nights. What do I do?”

“You can do what I do. Hold her and kiss her

beautiful lips and tell her that you love her, lol,”

I smiled again.

“You’re an ass. This isn’t funny. I’m a little blown

away here.”

“Relax Star, she’s fine. If she does it again tonight

just talk her down. She’s not going to do anything crazy if

that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m worried about her.”

That was the last message and I quickly laid her

phone down and crawled back into bed when I heard the

shower shut off.

I stretched and pretended that I had just woken.

“Good morning, hungry?” Star asked with her

carefree smile.

“Yeah, I could eat, but I need a shower.”

“Go. Get a shower. We have a busy day. I can’t

wait until you see these vendors today. It’s epic.”

I smiled at her enthusiasm for the hippy festival.

“Star, I’m really sorry about last night.”

I don’t know why I felt the need to apologize to

her. I just didn’t want to ruin what I had going on, although

the thought had crossed my mind to run away and start

over again somewhere, neglecting the relationship and

friends. I would be safer the next time. I knew what I

could and couldn’t do, and having people in my life that

wanted to get close wouldn’t and should have never been

an option. But the truth is I couldn’t imagine not having

Dawson, Star and Lauren in my life.

“Honey, you don’t have to be sorry for anything.

Just tell me if there is anything that I can do to help. I owe

you so much already.”

I looked at her puzzled. I owed her everything. I

didn’t understand.

“Why would you owe me anything?”

“You are joking, right? You turned my money pit

dive into a striving, profitable business. I would have

never done that. It was just something to occupy my time. I

never dreamed that it could be what it is now. I owe you

for that.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I think that I love that

place more than you do.”

“I owe you breakfast and one hell of a fun day so

go get your skinny little butt ready.”

I was glad that Star was letting go of my night. I

would just have to make sure I didn’t sleep that night.

We had to take two cabs because there were six of

us. I rode with Starlight and Sunny and couldn’t help but

laugh at the two sisters. They were talking about how a

fortune teller once told them that they both would marry

and have three girls each. Star was said to have two

marriages in her life. She didn’t have any. She had an

illegitimate daughter. Of course, her name was part of the

universe as well, Moon Beam Straights. She went by

Moonie.

I could feel my heart begin to beat faster when we

got close to the jewelry store. I knew that the chances of

Drew being there were slim to none. I had heard enough of

his business calls to know that he was hardly ever in any

of his stores. That’s what he had Derik for. Derik did all

of his dirty work.

I think I stopped breathing. I don’t know how I

even saw him. There were so many people on the

sidewalk, but I did. He was pacing with one finger in his

ear and his cellphone to the other one. It was Derik for

sure, in his expensive, elaborate suit and tie. He never

looked up and kept his eyes down. I knew without

knowing that Drew was on the other end.

“Riley?” I heard Starlight call my name. I was sure

that it wasn’t the first time.

“Sorry, did you say something?” I asked the stupid

question.

“Not anything important. I was just telling you

about all of the coffee vendors that will be set up here.”

I couldn’t believe all the cars and people that were

at this expo. I would have never dreamed that so many

people were into the retro hippy crave. I was happy to see

that we were someplace that you wouldn’t find Drew or

his sidekick, Derik. We had to walk a mile because our

cab driver refused to go any further into the multitude of

traffic. I didn’t mind. I wore my dark sunglasses and my

oversized sunhat proudly.

Starlight and I both had ordered a new outfit for

the special day. I wore a brown and green tie dye Mudmee

wrap skirt and a brown hippy style fringed leather vest

with a pair of water buffalo sandals. Starlight wore a

patch work sundress and the same sandals as me.

We spent the entire day at the swap meet. We did

eventually go our separate ways. There was way too much

to see everything in five days, let alone two, and we

wanted to acquire some new and exciting merchants. The

store room had quickly started to get cleared out from our

robust sales over the past few months. Starlight of course

went for the coffees, teas, aroma oils and scented candles.

I spent my time with Sunny and we hit up all of the

clothing, novelty items and pictures. I definitely wanted

more of the artwork. They seemed to be one of the hottest

items for the tourist that we attracted.

It was after seven before we finally made it back

to the hotel. I was hot, tired and excited all at once.

Starlight went to the shower, and I called Dawson.

“I was beginning to think that you forgot me,” he

answered. I could sense the smile on his face.

“Never, how are you?”

“Lonely. I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore. I

didn’t sleep much.”

“I think you are lying to me. You probably slept

like a baby without me there to wake you during the night.”

“I promise I didn’t. I would much rather have you

here waking me. I kept throwing my arm over you, and you

weren’t there.”

I laughed. I missed him. I really missed him. The

only person that I had ever missed in my life was Justin. I

didn’t even miss my mother although I often wondered

where she was.

“I have to say that I missed you last night too.” I

didn’t say why. He knew why.

“How was your expo?”

“It was amazing, Daw. You should have seen the

people at this thing. I talked to a guy that came there all the

way from Florence, Italy. He flew there just for the meet.”

“He wasn’t cute was he?”

I laughed at his jealousy. “No. I promise. He

wasn’t cute. We have twenty four new catalogues to go

through.”

“You didn’t buy anything to have shipped back

home?”

“No. Star wanted to, but I talked her out of it. It’ll

be much cheaper to order and have it sent direct from the

wholesalers then to have it shipped from here.”

“Have I told you how much I loved you today?”

“No. I haven’t talked to you today, silly.”

“I love you more than the stars, the sun, the moon,

the ocean, the air…”

I laughed before I cut him off. “Okay. I get it, and I

love you too, but Star just got out of the shower, and I

desperately need it.”

“So you don’t love me as much as a shower.”

“I do, just not right at the moment. Do you have any

idea how hot it is in Las Vegas in July?”

“Nope. Never been there. How hot?”

“It was a hundred and five today. That is

ridiculously hot, and I have enough sweat on me to water a

house plant.”

“Ewe. That’s kind of gross. You better go shower.

I love you.”

“I love you too, Dawson.”

Starlight and I spent our evening looking at the

many products and dog earing pages of the catalogues. We

didn’t eat any supper. We had both eaten so much at the

meet that neither of us was hungry.

I crawled into bed first, and Starlight gave me two

of the little pills. I took them with a smile, hoping I didn’t

wake her with one of my episodes.

“Where did you grow up?” Starlight asked as we

both lay down in our side by side beds.

How much should I tell her? Should I lie and say

that I grew up in Indiana? It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. I

was just afraid. Afraid of what, I wasn’t sure.

“Pennsylvania.” I lied. It was somewhat in the

same vicinity.

“Do you have any siblings?”

I didn’t want to have this conversation. I had an

awesome day, and I wanted to fall asleep thinking about

all the neat things that we would soon have in the shop.

“I have a brother,” I said, yawning a fake yawn,

hoping she took the hint.

She didn’t.

“How long were you married?”

Did I tell her that I had been married? I didn’t

remember telling her that. I was afraid to lie. Did Lauren

or Dawson tell her that I had been married?”

“Six years,” I told the truth.

“Ry, I’m here if you need to talk,” Star said,

sensing my apprehension.

“I’m fine. I would rather let the past stay in the

past.”

“Okay, but just so you know, I’m a pretty good

listener and an even better secret keeper,” she smiled.

I did dream that night. Maybe it was her asking

about my upbringing, but for the first time I dreamt about

my mother. At least I didn’t wake up screaming bloody