Under the Wire: Bad Boys Undercover (20 page)

As soon as she thought about him she heard the lock. The door swung open and Niko walked in carrying a tablet and reading something on it. He was three steps inside with the door closing behind him before he jerked to a stop and looked up.

Rather than make a scene, he dropped the tablet on the desk and walked over to the bar sitting under the mirror. Made a show of pouring a drink then finishing it. Even took off his jacket and gently folded it over one of the leather chairs in the sitting area.

He turned around to face her and sighed. His gaze went first to the gun. Then it traveled all over her.

She’d plunge into a scalding hot bath later.

“I’m beginning to think you have an unhealthy attachment to me.” He walked over to the bedroom area, dragging the desk chair behind him. “Should we warn your fiancé?”

She refused to get derailed. Of course he knew about her personal life. The Alliance was top secret and need-to-know only, but they’d had a run-in before. People whispered when they shouldn’t, especially if enough money changed hands.

“You’re definitely not my type.”

His head tilted to the side as he sat down in front of her. “You don’t like rich?”

“I’m anti-asshole.” Which was why she had checked the room twice, barred all other entrances, and paid off the housekeeper to warn her when Niko got on the elevator. And why she was not putting the gun down.

Some of the amusement left his face. “You have two seconds before I call security.”

If hotel security could stop her, that would be the signal it was time to retire. “Call.”

Niko sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “What do you want?”

“Cobalt.”

“What?”

She had to give him credit. The knitted brow and dropped mouth—the confusion looked real. “That’s why you’re here, right? Use the expedition to find the cobalt so you can build your bombs.”

“You’ve officially lost your mind.” Niko shook his head. “I almost feel sorry for Ward.”

The voice matched the blank reaction. She’d been trained to pick up cues of deceit. Increased blinking, selective wording, repeating the questions to stall for time, throat clearing. Those were just the beginning, and none of them were present. It could mean the man lacked a conscience, and she didn’t discount that possibility. It could also mean whatever sins he committed did not include this one.

She pushed a little more, watching for any nervous tic or fidgeting. “Did you think you could bomb Russia back into power?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

So smooth. He didn’t ask a follow-up question because he barely seemed interested in the topic. “My people are combing through every inch of your life right now.”

He brushed a hand over his pants. “There’s nothing to find.”

The move matched his comment, which she knew was wrong. When someone tried to mess with her records, the computer system back at the office went wild. Their tech expert watched over all of the identities, real and not, that each Alliance member used. The wealth of information passed through . . . she didn’t even know what. She just knew someone tried to make it look as if she’d been accepting illegal payments. Tried and failed.

“Mysterious payments.” She’d started with the withdrawals they found buried, but connected the dots back to companies within companies that were owned by him. “It seems you didn’t just fund an expedition here. You’ve been paying for equipment and intel.”

“I can only assume by this conversation that you’re setting me up again.”

And now for the
other
payments. “Well, since you tried to phony up some deposits to me that traced back to Chechen rebels, it would serve you right.”

Niko shifted. Crossed one leg over the other. After a few seconds he did it in the opposite direction.

She took that as confirmation.

“I’m a businessman.”

He liked to fall back on that explanation. As if it meant anything to her. “So you keep saying.”

“I am trying to reestablish communication with the expedition, then I’m pulling my people out. After that I will talk to some of my friends and let them know the Alliance is illegally operating in Russia. Maybe implicate the CIA. Generally cause you enough trouble that you’ll lose your precious team.” He folded his hands together on his lap. “And if you’ve been funneling money to the Chechens, you could have some trouble.”

“The scientists are dead. Almost all of them.” She hated that part, but that blame started with the man in front of her. He put them in danger. He told lies and used them for his personal agenda, whatever that might be.

He sat up straighter and the chair creaked beneath him. “That’s not possible.”

“Your plans to build a cobalt bomb are done.” It didn’t matter whose plan it was. She would end it.

“Why would I want to bomb Russia? I am determined to restore its greatness. To move out corrupt leaders, something you should be trying to do.” He leaned forward, his voice growing louder with each word. “Starting a war gets me nothing. That would likely keep these incompetent men in power even longer.”

The argument made some sense. That sucked, because if he wasn’t at the bottom of the secret lab, it meant there was another player on the ground. One she hadn’t identified yet. One who could be stalking Reid and Parker even now.

She stood up. “Where’s Mickey? Isn’t he supposed to be watching over you at all times?”

“I have other guards.”

“I got in here without trouble.” She stood, dragged her finger along the dresser as she walked by. Fingered the closed file. Stopped in front of the stack of clothes on the end of the bed. She’d looked through everything when she first got here. This was her way of letting him know that in her mind there was nothing left to see.

“Let me worry about my staffing issues.” Niko spun around in his chair as his gaze followed her around the room. “What’s your next move here, Tasha?”

She headed for the door, keeping him in her view at all times. This was not a man a smart woman turned her back on. Besides, there was no need to extend her time there and invite trouble.

After a quick check out the peephole to make sure it was clear, she slipped her gloved hand over the door handle. “I suspect you’ll follow me and find out.”

“I don’t trust you.”

Since she needed to check in with her men and watch Niko, the easiest thing to do was convince him
to follow her. She was betting the temptation would prove too great for him to sit around and wait in a hotel room.

She glanced at him one more time. “Then we’re even.”

C
ARA WAITED
as they drove around in circles, slowed down, sped up . . . hid behind a boulder. As far as subterfuge went, Reid was not playing around. The man was a master. He had her half dizzy with motion sickness by the time he slid into an empty space behind a falling down cabin.

She expected him to go in, guns blazing. Instead he sat there with the truck idling. The engine hummed in the background until it vibrated inside of her.

From this position she could see through the building to the front. The caved-in roof had water spilling into what should have been the inside rooms. One window had been taken out and leaned against the wall. A hole by the back door gave her a view of what looked like a stack of pots and pans.

No way was anyone in there. No one had been for a long time. The place didn’t offer shelter but was large enough to cast a shadow over the small truck. At least for now that would work. She just had to hope
that eventually someone in the Russian special forces would notice patrols kept going out and never coming back. Seemed like an obvious issue to her.

But none of that explained why they still sat there.

For a second she wondered if the plan had been to get her out of the mine while Parker tortured Simon. The second the idea flashed through her, she blocked it out again. She didn’t want to know how the Alliance gathered intel or what they did to people who lied to them. She’d never sleep again if she knew that piece of the puzzle.

Still, she couldn’t imagine Reid hurting someone just for the thrill of it. He was not that kind of guy, and he would not let someone else do it in his place. But that left a pretty big gulf between causing pain for no reason and extracting legitimate and necessary information. If she’d never been kidnapped, she likely would have had one take on the issue. But as a survivor of a terrifying crime, the line between right and wrong blurred for her a bit.

She could imagine it did for Reid as well. Not that he’d ever tell her.

With a sigh, she leaned her head against the seat behind her and looked over at him. Even his profile spoke to his strength. From here she could see the outline of his jaw. That sexy neck.

Her gaze traveled lower, to his hands. She loved his hands. Long lean fingers and the ever-present black
watch on his wrist. The calluses on his palms spoke to the amount of physical labor he performed, the strenuous workouts he put himself through. She’d seen one or two. The tire flipping made her lower back ache just to watch it.

But what he could do with those hands. From the way he toured his fingertips over her, to the gentle touch of his palm to the side of her face. Tough yet careful. Always so controlled in his use of force and show of strength.

He turned the truck off and turned in his seat, just a bit. Enough to face her. “What do you want to know?”

Her brain sputtered. Jumping from the thoughts running through her head to his comment left her spinning. “What?”

“I keep trying to figure out what the one thing is that I could say that would make this right.”

The cobalt. Russian. Simon. The list of what the “this” could mean was pretty long. “Reid, I don’t understand—”

“That’s how it works, right?” He stretched an arm along the back of their seats. “You need me to tell you about my past before you can trust me. I’m not sure what part you need to hear. Just tell me and I’ll say it.”

Understanding dawned and her heartbeat took off in a gallop. This odd mix of anxiety, hope, and doom hovered over her. Followed by a swift kick of guilt. This is what she’d reduced him to. This man, all in control and
barking orders, wanted her to come up with one question that would let them move forward.

If only it were that simple.

If only everything that happened between them before hadn’t brought them to this emotional place.

She scooted over, just a bit closer to him, and put a hand on his thigh right above his knee. “First of all, I do trust you.”

“With what?”

She didn’t understand the question. “Trust is . . . you know what I mean. The word has a logical definition.”

He had her stumbling over her words and doubting her hearing. The man could strip away all of her defense mechanisms in two seconds flat.

“It’s not really one thing.” He didn’t sound angry. He looked at her as if he genuinely expected her to have a rational answer. “Do you trust me to keep you safe? Trust me not to physically hurt you? Trust me not to cheat on you? Which is it? Am I failing in one of those categories or is it something else?”

“I trust you in all of those ways.” For her, trust was a much bigger concept. This all-encompassing thing that included her mind and body.

“Do you trust me to tell you the truth? Because sometimes I can’t. Not all of it.” He slipped his fingers into her hair. Wrapped a strand around his thumb. “That’s part of the job.”

“I get that and I’m fine with it.” She didn’t have a
choice on that score, but she meant it. She wasn’t naïve. “I would imagine Tasha doesn’t take security breaches very well.”

“She’d cut off my balls.” He shrugged. “But I’d deserve it. My job isn’t really about me. I have to remember that every time I walk out the door.”

Cara got that. She understood how clearances worked. Knew that sometimes sharing every bit of information could cause more damage. Like everything else in life, it was a weighing process.

But her need to really know him wasn’t a gray line. “It’s not as if I want you to list a few things from your past so I can check them off before I’ll invite you into the house.”

“Okay.”

She knew from his tone that he still didn’t get what she wanted. “The communication needs to be authentic in how we talk to each other. Like when I told you about having kids—”

“That issue only matters to me if it matters to you. There are options. With my past, I’m the last person in the world who would think family is only about biology.”

God, she loved him for that. He took the news in stride. Made it about what she needed and not what he would lose. He might not understand all of her points, but some things he intrinsically understood better than almost anyone else she knew.

And she needed him to get this, too. “My point is, at that time in the conversation it made sense to share something with you. It created an extra level of intimacy between us.”

He frowned. Looked almost amused by her comment. “I thought we had the intimacy part of our relationship down pretty well.”

He could be such a dude sometimes. “I’m not just talking about sex.”

He had the smarts to wince. “Of course not.”

“I want to know about you. Who you are and what you believe. I need to know we are in this together.”
Were . . .
She should have said
were,
but couldn’t make herself go back and fix the sentence.

He nodded. “So you can make sure I’m a good risk.”

“No.” She didn’t even know where that came from. “So I can
know
you on a level that connects us.”

“What if I can’t figure out how to give it to you?” He cleared his throat. “Give it again, I mean.”

That shot landed. She doubted he meant to throw it but the words knocked into her with the force of a punch. The reality was, she’d turned that question over and over in her mind. The problem with their relationship stemmed from both of them. He phrased every question in terms of what he could do for her, but really she had so many limitations. She fell back on work. She panicked when people got so protective that she felt suffocated.

She didn’t really trust the idea of getting swept up and so attached to someone else that she couldn’t see straight. It wasn’t logical to her. Yet it happened. The man who whipped her life around and yanked it apart sat a few feet away, running his fingers over her neck. Making her shiver like he always did.

“What if I can’t be enough for you?” Giving voice to the question cost her something. She hated being vulnerable and asking him for what she wanted or needed. She plowed ahead and made plans. This thing with him blew all of those learned behaviors apart. “Don’t you worry about that?”

His head snapped back. “That’s ridiculous.”

Not to her. That was the great fear. That he’d wake up one day and realize she was living her life wrong and try to shove her in a different box or make her into someone else. She’d experienced that sensation her entire life. It made her shut down and push away. Hell, she’d done it to him already.

“I messed up.” There, she finally admitted it out loud to someone other than herself.

“What?”

She stared at the truck’s ceiling for a second as she gathered the courage to take responsibility for the mistakes she’d made with him. Own up to her part of this, and not just blame the situation and hormones and whatever else made it easier for her to walk away and stay away.

“The tracker wasn’t your best move but I didn’t hand back the ring and leave because of that.” She touched the empty space now. Remembered how she used to twirl it around on her finger.

“You left because I wouldn’t talk to you.”

“I left because I was afraid that the rush we felt would be temporary. I wanted out before it walloped me.” The sensations had been so strong and so new. She’d been afraid because it was safer to go back to lukewarm dates and sex that led nowhere. She believed that didn’t cost her anything . . . now she knew better. “Before you moved on.”

“Cara.” The soothing tone made her melt. “I proposed to you because I loved you.”

There was that past tense again. She swallowed hard to remove the lump in her throat. “I know.”

The back of his fingers danced over her cheek. “Still do.”

She didn’t dare believe it. “Really?”

He laughed. “Yes. Love, full on and still happening.”

A zing of light and happiness tore through her. “I don’t know why.”

He laughed. “Some days I’ve wondered about that myself.”

The honesty. She loved that about him, too. “I’m not sure where we are now or if we’ve just flipped back into this cycle where it’s thrilling and energetic but not real.”

“Only you worried about that being an issue between us.” He exhaled. “I know I’ve dismissed that concern in the past, but we can work through it. You just have to be willing to try.”

She didn’t understand how he could be so sure. For a long time she thought that meant he wasn’t that engaged in the relationship. That the ring and the talk about sharing apartments and lives was just this shallow thing for him. A way for him to feel normal when everything else in his life was absolutely not.

Now she saw that she took her fears and projected them onto him. She heaped every negative on the situation and could not believe he meant anything he said. She really did wonder why he ever loved her.

She leaned forward, closing the distance between them. One minute she sat on her side of the bench seat. The next she slid over, almost onto his lap. “You’re a good man.”

“Prove it.”

Her mouth hovered over his. “Any chance you brought that extra condom out here with you?”

“As soon as Parker gave it to me, I stuck it in my pocket. I have it now.”

She didn’t want to know what conversation led to that exchange. But the conversation back in the mine now made more sense.

She tried to forget Parker’s grin right before they left. “Well, get it.”

“Have we settled the issues between us?” He wrapped an arm around her neck and dragged her in even closer.

One of her legs slid over his. With every touch concentrated, talking grew harder. “I’m not sure it’s a light switch we can just flip on and off.”

She’d finally apologized and the relief soared inside her at having unlocked some of that guilt. Right behind that came a very different feeling. One that required him to lose the pants.

“I am sitting in the middle of Russia, being hunted by at least one group of armed men.” His hand slipped up and under her jacket. “And all I can think about is stripping you naked.”

“Are you saying I wreck your concentration?” Man, she hoped that’s what he was saying because that was pretty damn sexy. A guy like him getting all riled up? Yeah, she’d love that.

“I’m saying I break all the rules for you.”

Even better. That might have been the hottest thing she’d ever heard. “Kiss me.”

His lips crashed over hers. Heat sparked between them like it always did. His mouth slipped to her cheek then down her neck. Every touch sent need spiking through her.

He pressed a hand between her legs. Pushed until she gasped. Rubbed his fingers back and forth. The friction of her pants and his hand had her squirming
to get closer. When the sound of the zipper screeched through the truck, she almost laughed in relief. She needed his fingers on her, inside of her.

The material shifted around her. The tugging and yanking—in a few pulls he had her pants down to the top of her thighs. His fingers skimmed under the elastic band of her underwear. She heard a rip but didn’t care.

“Tear them off.” She gave the order between kisses. Held his head and kept his hot mouth locked to hers.

The inside of the truck flipped around on her. For a second she lost her balance. Then she was sitting on his lap, straddling his legs. He had his zipper down and the condom on. She didn’t know where he found the time or the extra hand and she didn’t care. He was ready and that meant they could do this now.

She lifted up on her knees, rising just above him. His fingers slipped up her thighs and into her heat. She couldn’t handle the foreplay. She wanted it all. Now.

Taking his erection in her hand, she guided his tip inside her. She lowered her weight and let him plunge inside her. Slow at first, giving her body time to adjust. Then the rhythm took hold. She plunged and retreated. Looked down and watched his body disappear into hers.

He pushed her hair back and held it there. “You are so fucking sexy.”

Every time her body fell, he lifted his hips and pushed in deeper. The truck rocked and squeaked. Ev
erything about this, about him, felt right. Their bodies fit together, matched in need.

He grabbed the bottom of her jacket in his fist and held the edge up, just off her stomach. Then it was his turn to watch. With each push, his mouth opened. The awe was right there on his face. The hunger. All for her.