Under the Sassafras (18 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Joelette opened her eyes. Her first thought: Mansir was back in her house. Her second though: He wasn’t Mansir anymore and today he’d leave.

She tossed on a robe and rushed into the kitchen, but it was empty. Everyone was still asleep or was already doing their regular routine. She poured herself a piping hot cup of coffee and sat at the table. This is what everyone hoped for, that Mansir would be able to return to his life. It’s what she wanted, didn’t she?

“Good morning, is that coffee I smell?” Sara asked, stretching as she walked into the room. “I slept like a log, even if William and I talked half the night. Did you sleep well?”

Joelette was fascinated how Sara looked so different than her brother, but yet she could already tell that they were very much alike. They both had far too cheerful personalities for this early in the morning.

“Good morning, Sara. I just poured myself a cup. I’ll get you one.”

“No, I can wait on myself. Just point me in the right direction for the cups. You have done quite enough for my brother and me.” She grabbed a mug from the cabinet Joelette pointed to and poured herself a cup. “I really don’t know how I could ever thank you enough.”

Joelette's face warmed. “It was no more than any other family would have done. Is your brother still asleep?” Joelette asked, not able to call him by his real name. That would be admitting he belonged in another world.

“No. He mumbled something about getting an early start and a promise he must keep and left the room before sunrise. He is a man of his word. Always has been.”

He was a man of his word, this much she’d come to know about him. Was she a promise to be kept? She knew too late she wished with all her heart it could be more. One kiss was all she had to remember him by, that and working side by side with him in the field, and all the things he’d done for her family.

“I don't mean to be rude, but I need to see if I can help him,” Joelette said. “If you’ll excuse me. MaeMae will be in momentarily. She and Ozamae are probably out feeding the animals.” Joelette had nearly made it out of the room before she remembered. “She leaves breakfast in the oven. Please help yourself.”

She couldn't dress fast enough. She had to work beside him one more time. Every time she looked at that field, she would have the satisfaction knowing they did it together. She hurried, each step bringing her closer to Mansir.

They'd talked about this day many times as they’d worked side by side. Today, they would finish removing the old growth and prepare for the new. She watched him pull at the last undergrowth in the field. As he tugged on the weeds, she felt the pull on her heart. He straightened his long lean body and surveyed the field.

“You’re up early this morning. I thought you’d be packing up to go to California,” Joelette said as cheerfully as she could manage, but instead it came on the edge of tears. Thankfully he didn’t seem to notice.

“I wanted to finish the field. Besides, Sara and I are not planning to leave until tomorrow. She called and made plane reservations for eleven in the morning.”

Mansir put down the hoe and wiped his forehead with his bandana. “To tell the truth I wanted at least one more day here. It's going to be hard leaving all this behind. I also wanted to be with you when we tell T-Boy. You shouldn't have to face that alone.”

Oh, God, T-Boy had already lost enough.

He shook his head. “Joelette, I never thought we would have to say good bye. I thought–”

“Stop, please stop.” She bit her lip and dug her nails into the palms of hand to fight back the tears. “Nothing can change what happened. We knew from the beginning you’d eventually remember. This is a good thing, and we should be overcome with happiness.”

He took her into his arms as the tears began to slip down her cheeks. “Then why don't I feel happy? Tell me that, Joelette.”

She clung to him, allowing herself one last feel of his warm body. She would remember the smell of him mixed with the rich scent of freshly tilted dirt. Tomorrow, someone else would hold him, but right now in her field, he was hers. She would hold him until he let go.

She felt his chest move as he inhaled deeply. Felt his heart pounding against her cheek. How could she survive the rest of her life without ever again feeling his heart beat beneath her cheek? How had she gone this long without it?

“I smell that sweet smell,” he whispered as she felt his hand shift through the strand of her hair. “I thought they had stopped blooming,” Mansir whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

“They have.” Was he doing it, too? Trying to stash away a lifetime of memories from this one embrace? “But I always rinse my hair in dried Sassafras blooms and leaves. Didn't I ever tell you that?”

He pushed her back just a little so he could see her upturned face and smiled. “No. How long were you going to allow me to think I was crazy?”

“I knew that someday you would catch on, but we ran out of some days.” The spell broken, Joelette pushed free. She had to be strong. “Why don't we finish up that last corner and go see T-Boy?”

“You're the boss. Did you see Sara this morning or was she still asleep when I got up.”

“Yes. She has the same annoying habit you have of being too cheerful in the morning, but I really like her. Is she all the family you have?”

“All that's left. Our parents are both gone. Sara and I have always been close.”

That hadn’t really been what she’d been asking. She wanted to know about his wife. But she didn’t know how to ask.

The rest of the morning they worked in silence. Not like before when they talked about what the day would hold for everyone. The work finished in less than two hours, much too soon for both of them. They stood side-by-side sweat dripping down their face and back and surveyed the fruit of their hard work.

“I wish I could see this field covered in Mamou bushes. You'll have to send me a picture.”

Joelette had not expected he’d want to keep in touch. Once he returned to his real life, he would be too busy to do so. Not to mention she doubted his wife would be too happy with them communicating. A clean break would be easier for her. In fact, it might be the only way to make the break bearable. “I don't know if I can. We'll have to wait and see. Coming?”

Laughter poured out of the house as Joelette got closer.

Mansir walked beside her. “What do you want to bet, that laughter involves Ozamae?” he said.

“I wouldn't take that bet, I know you're right. He does have a way of making people laugh. I think that must be Sara laughing, the two of you laugh the same.” She would miss his laughter.

They opened the screen door. Sara, MaeMae and Ozamae sat at the table with Ozamae's carved animals spread out. In his hand, he held an alligator.

“Don't tell me you've been telling stories on me. Have you, sport?” Mansir put Ozamae on his lap.

“I told her about you running away from the gator. Sara thought it was funny. Didn't you, Sara? Tell him about your daddy making things with wood too. Tell him.”

Sara was still laughing. “I would have given anything to see you and your long stick-legs run away from an alligator.” Sara pushed the unruly curls out of her face. “What a sight you must have been.” She picked up the carved alligator. “You came by your fear of alligators at a young age. Remember how dad teased you about some book he read you about an alligator when you were small? I can't remember the name but it scared you so bad you threw it in the toilet.”

“You would have run, too, and don't try to tell me differently. I do remember Dad teasing me, that went on until my teen years. But what's Ozamae saying about something dad made?”

“The animals you carved. Dad used to make us things like that. Remember? He's the one who taught you,” Sara said.

“I knew I must have learned to carve somewhere. I also remember why we called you Grace more than we called you Sara.”

“Did you forget your name too?” Ozamae snuggled closer to Sara.

“Grace is a name people sometimes call someone that's a little clumsy. Sara is a real name.” Mansir patted Ozamae's head.

“Oh, I get it.”

Joelette and Mansir’s eyes met across the table. A sad smile pulled her lips.

“
This morning is flying by,” Joelette said. She came to her feet and wiped an invisible piece of lint off her shirt. “I want to see T-Boy before lunch. Possum said he would stay with him until I get there. I'm going to go take a bath and change.”

“Remember, I'm going with you. I'll meet you at the truck.” Mansir stood and turned back to his sister. “I need to talk to you a moment, okay?”

After a quick shower and a change of clothes Joelette started for the front porch and stopped when she saw Mansir and Sara’s heads together in a quiet conversation. She took a breath and stepped outside.

“You ready” she asked Mansir. She stepped off the porch and headed for the truck.

Mansir climbed in with her.

Without saying a word to him, she put the truck in reverse. It sputtered and backfired all the way out of the driveway.

She looked over at Mansir as he gazed out the window at the land. Land he told her last month he had grown to love.

“This is not going to be easy, Joelette.” He cleared his throat. “T-Boy has just started trusting me.”

“Tell me Mansir, what part of this is easy?”

###

“He's not coming back? I know,” MaeMae said. “He told me his goodbye while Joelette was bathing. We decided not to tell Ozamae until T-Boy returns home tomorrow. You've got a good man for a brother, Sara.” MaeMae motioned Sara to sit beside her on the porch. “Tell me about his wife. Are they a good match?” she asked.

“How did you know he was married?” Sara asked. “He doesn’t seem to remember her. I mentioned Marion to him last night and he had no recollection.”

“He found his wedding ring and has been trying so hard to remember why it was in his pocket. I just thought you would have triggered his memory about her.” MaeMae leaned back in her chair.

Sara sighed. “No. I have a lot to tell him but when I checked with the doctor he told me to try and let him remember on his own. But I can give you a little history about William. He met Marion in college. Tony introduced them, Tony and Marion ran in the same circle.” Sara tilted her head. “Tony and William had been friends since we were kids. I never cared for him, he seemed too fickle as a friend, always getting in a huff and ignoring William for a week or more.”

MaeMae leaned a little closer and let Sara talk.

“Marion and Tony both came from very wealthy families, so different from ours. Tony's family was what you would call an old money family. But when Tony’s parents died his brother was named the one in charge. He ran through that money like it was water. Tony was different after that.”

Sara leaned back and sighed. “Marion's family made theirs fast on some real estate deal her dad came up with. Having money was new to Marion, and she loved it. With William's intelligence, and good looks, and her money they became known as the ’Golden Duo.’ Other people thought they were a great couple, but I never thought they should have married.”

“Why?” MaeMae asked.

Sara shrugged. “I don't think Marion ever loved anyone but herself. But Marion is not the problem any more.” Sara paused as if to choose her next words then shook her heard. “I'm sorry I think I've said more than I should say. Just know that William is a man of his word and he promised for better or worse. It would go against all of his values to break a promise, regardless of his feelings.” Sara wiped away the tears filling her eyes. “I must be on my way. He's waiting for me. He wants the good-byes to be said quickly to minimize the hurt. Thank you so much for taking such good care of my brother. I know we can never repay the kindness. I now know why he loves all of you so much.”

Sara bent over and kissed MaeMae’s cheek.

MaeMae caught her face in both her hands. “You take care of my boy. That is the only thanks I need. Don't you let anyone hurt him and don't you let him forget us. Promise?”

Sara smiled sweetly. “How could anyone forget you MaeMae, or any of you? But, yes, of course, I promise. Goodbye MaeMae.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

T-Boy lay with his back to the door. Possum sat at the side of the bed.

“Is he asleep?” Mansir asked.

Turning over to see them, T-Boy smiled. “Did you bring it?”

“Hey Mr. Hero.” Possum grinned and gave Mansir his place.

“I said I would, didn't I? Maybe Possum and your Mom could go down to the cafeteria and eat some lunch and you and I can start a lesson.” Mansir put the chess set on T-Boy's bed.

“Are you sure?” Joelette asked under her breath. “Maybe when I bring him home tomorrow would be a better time?”

“No, I can't put this off. He deserves to know and he deserves to hear it from me. I'll try to make him understand.” He had his hand on Joelette's arm.

“When you help him understand, then help me, will you?” Joelette and Possum closed the door behind them.

“What was all the whispering about?” T-Boy asked.

Mansir looked at the boy who looked even smaller than usual lying in the hospital bed. His heart shattered.

“I still get to go home tomorrow, don't I?”

“You bet, little man. Your mom and I just had a few things we needed to tell each other. Now let's get this chess game started.”

Mansir explained the game of chess to T-Boy, the placement of the pieces and their moves. T-Boy caught on fast just like he had on the projects they'd made in the woodshed.

“You're a very smart boy, T-Boy. Promise me that you’ll always apply yourself. You are going to be able to be anything you want to be. Don't forget that.” Mansir swallowed hard, trying to ignore the reality that he wouldn’t be here to see T-Boy become a man.

T-Boy looked into Mansir's face. “Are you what you want to be?”

The question startled him. “I don't know,” he answered honestly. “I haven't thought about that for years. But maybe it’s time I did.”

T-Boy lay back on the pillow. “I'm tired. Can we finish later?”

“Sure we can.” Mansir took the chess set and placed it in the box. “May I talk to you man to man, T-Boy?”

T-Boy puffed out his chest. “Yeah, sure.”

Taking both of T-Boys hands in his, he took a deep breath. “I know you heard the news program the other night where they broadcasted my lack of memory on national television. Someone else saw that program, T-Boy. My sister, Sara.”

“Wow, you have a sister. Did she call and tell you your name?”

“She did better than that.” Mansir squeezed T-Boy’s hands. “She came to get me. When I saw her, I remembered everything, well, almost everything. There are still some parts that are a little foggy. But I remember the main things.”

T-Boy continued to watch Mansir's face. “What do you mean, she came to get you? Where are you going?” Big tears began to fill the saddened eyes of T-Boy.

“I'm sorry, son, I have to go home. I live in California.”

“No! You can't do that.” He pulled his hands out of Mansir’s “You told me you loved me. You told me you would help me in school.” T-Boy’s voice shook as he continued. “You called me son.”

Mansir could see the boy fight so hard not to cry.

“T-Boy, don't shut yourself off. I meant all those things I said to you, I do love you with my whole heart. I'll never forget you and I'll keep in touch.” Tears now flowed freely down both of their faces. Mansir gathered T-Boy in his arms and rocked him as the little boy cried. “I'm so sorry. I know it hurts to say goodbye, but just think if we would have never met. I would never have learned all the things you taught me.”

Pulling away from him, T-Boy wiped the tears with the back of his hand. “Leave me alone.” His voice was hard and firm. “You lied. You lied!”

Joelette flung the door open and flew to T-Boy's side. “It's okay baby. Go ahead and cry. Mommy's got you.” She cooed as she held her son in her arms.

“No mommy, I can't. I can't cry anymore.” T-Boy tried to sit up straight, but the cast on his leg prevented him. “I have to be the man of the house again. Mansir is leaving.”

“T-Boy, wait. Let me explain,” Mansir said.

“Please step outside,” Joelette said. “Let me talk to him. Possum, will you please wait with Mansir? I've called for a nurse to see if we have upset him too much. Please. I'll be out as soon as he settles down.”

Mansir watched as Joelette continued to rock T-Boy in her arms. A nurse bustled in past him.

“We are not needed here.” Possum guided Mansir into the hallway.

Another nurse came down the hall with a shot in her hand and entered the room.

“What have I done, Possum.”

Possum blew his nose and cleared his throat. “You did nothing my friend. You gave them love and they all thought you would stay. Life played a big trick on all of us. Don't blame yourself.”

“Be here for her Possum, she trusts you, and she’ll need you.”

###

What seemed like hours went by as Joelette sat by her T-Boy’s bed, waiting for him to go to sleep. He finally closed his eyes and his breathing became regular, she looked at his beloved knight she held in her hand. T-Boy had thrown it across the room, and after he went to sleep she picked it up.

Please don't let him withdraw again
. Losing Mansir would be like losing his dad all over again.
Please give me the strength to give him what he needs
. She stepped outside the room and found the two men.

“Is he okay?” Mansir went to her side.

“He's asleep. I don't think you should go back in and see him. He’s too upset. I think that was your goodbye.” She took a deep breath and with shaking hands brushed the hair out of her face. “If you want, you can write him a letter from California. But tomorrow morning when you leave don't come by. It's going to be hard enough for him as it is.”

“I think I'll go sit by his bed, if that's okay with you,” Possum said. He turned to Mansir and held out his hand. “Keep in touch,
Amie
.”

“Thank you for teaching me, Possum. You will definitely hear from me soon. Take care of yourself and save some shrimp for me.

Joelette looked in Mansir’s eyes and knew. “You're leaving today, aren't you?” She was too tired emotionally and physically to feel anything but numb. But she still needed to know.

“Yes, Sara is waiting outside. Walk with me, Joelette, please.” He walked as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “I didn't want to drag this out anymore than I had too. I've caused enough hurt. We’re driving to Lake Charles to spend the night. Then we fly out tomorrow.”

They were in the lobby before she was ready.

“I’ve always been truthful with you Joelette and I can’t stop now, I remembered something else last night. It has to do with why I was running. My wife, Marion, and my best friend, Tony, were having an affair. I don’t know exactly what I was planning to do but I have to go back and face the two of them.”

“Do you still love her?” She’d stopped walking and was looking at him, trying desperately to hold herself together.

“I can honestly say I don’t know. In my heart I don’t think so but I have to see her and Tony and fix this mess. They were such a big part of my life for so long. Understand?”

Joelette tried to grab onto some thought spinning through her mind. Was he going back to make things right with his friend and his wife. He must still love her, to be so ready to leave and return to his life in California. She took a steadying breath. “You have to do what you have to do.”

He tried to take Joelette's hand but she put them behind her back. “I have so much I want to tell you, but I've run out of time. I wish we had met under different circumstances. I do love--”

“Don't say it,” she interrupted him. “Not now when I can't bear to hear the words. I believe that you could never hurt another person, but you still have so many holes in your mind, still so many pockets of your past you need to fill.” Tears came in choking spurts she wiped her eyes. “I gave you all my trust. I let you in here.” She said pointing at her chest. “Goodbye, William.”

She could feel Mansir’s eyes on her back as she walked away. “Goodbye m'lady.” She heard him whisper.

The words cut through her like a knife. She could never be his lady.