Under the Orange Moon (24 page)

He wondered if she had moved on. Someone would find her soon enough. She was too perfect to pass up. For the first time, he didn’t feel enraged when he thought of her with someone else. He wanted her happy, even if it meant he couldn’t be the one to make that happen. He just wanted her to smile for the rest of her life. He would only feel peace if he knew that were possible.

“Ben!” He ignored the female voice that he knew. “Ben, I know you hear me!” she called again.

He contemplated a quick sprint through the quad, but he knew it was too late. If he took off now, he’d only pay for it later. There was just no escaping this girl. She was about as close to a stalker as someone could be without officially giving them the title.  He turned and tried to act as flustered as he could in the hopes that maybe she would have mercy on him and let him go with just a simple hello.

“Hey,” she said with a breathless voice. She had seriously chased after him. “When did you get back?”

“Hey,” he answered, without answering her question. She would only nag him if he told her he’d been back for over two months. She had called him at least every day since his return. He didn’t care for her feelings. He simply felt no interest in the pestering way she tended to scold him the few unfortunate times she had been able to catch him before his trip to Arizona.

“I’ve been calling you, Ben.”

“I’ve been busy,” he said, still walking.

She caught up to him and began to walk at the same pace just along side him. “Have you started your internship? I still can’t believe you got it. How’s your mother?”

Ben paused for only one step, allowing her to move ahead of him. He hated that she walked so close to him, as if they were a couple strolling to class together. He stepped again and kept a good sized space between them this time.

“That was two questions too many,” he answered quickly. She had never even met his mother, another sign of her weird, stalker-like behavior.

Ignoring his comment, she went on, saying, “You know, the last time we were together, you made me feel really slutty. You just vanished.”

Ben laughed. “Maybe that’s because it was the
only
time we were together.” They met in a bar and slept together only a few hours later. He snuck away from her crazy, wrestling hold in the middle of the night, and avoided her from then on. It was no different then any other girl he slept with. This one simply refused to take the hint as easily.

“So this is the blow off then?”

“It’s something, I suppose.” He was almost out of breath. He hoped she didn’t have to go as far as he did but, then again, she seemed to be there only because she was looking for him. He had taken this way every day since he’d been back, and this was his first time running into her. It didn’t seem to be an accident.

“I don’t want to be your girlfriend, Ben.”

He laughed again. This was not even a possibility, and he could hardly keep a straight face at the fact that she felt he worried about what she wanted out of him.

She stopped him with her hand on his chest while she shot him what seemed to be an attempt at a seductive grin. “I think we’re on the same page is all I’m saying.”

Ben stepped back away from her hand. He narrowed his eyes on her. “I promise you, no one is on my page. If you were even near my page, you wouldn’t have found me today. ”

“I just want to have a little fun.” She winked at him, which he only found tacky. This girl seriously lacked common sense.

“I have to go,” Ben said coldly. “I’m late.”

She stepped aside, and said, “Call me.”

“Right,” he said, and continued off to class.

He couldn’t even remember this girl’s name, if he even knew it to begin with. Chances were, he’d never even asked for it. 

He raced into the room as the professor was closing the door. In this class, if you didn’t make it in before she shut the door, you just didn’t make it. Period. However, this professor seemed to have a liking for Ben, because she always seemed to slow it down when she saw him running.

“Mr. McKenna, just in time,” Professor Gray said with a smile. “Lucky.”

Ben smiled and sat down in the third row. He was out of breath, irritated from his run-in with the one-nighter, and freezing from the harsh cold outside. He had to put his game face on, however. This professor was another one of those people that held his life in the palm of her hand. Ben was pretty sure she wanted to sleep with him, which he didn’t mind. She was surprisingly hot for a woman that was twenty-eight years his senior. He’d do it. He chuckled to himself at even the thought.

“Are you ready for Weis and Carter?” Professor Gray asked, running her finger along the edge of Ben’s desk. “I’ve heard there are high expectations of you, due to your name, of course. Do you think you can handle that sort of pressure?”

“I can handle anything,” Ben answered quickly and proudly. He didn’t want to sound smug, but he knew this would be a breeze for him. This was going to secure his future.

“Let’s hope so.” She pursed her lips into an awkward smile that was meant for only Ben, and walked over to her desk. This was the same way she began with him everyday. Naturally, he found it completely amusing.

This was when Ben could take his mind off of Dylan and forget that he was in a hideous state of depression. He could focus, work, and find that drive in him that he was known for. Being with her had made him discover just how weak he could be. This was the place where he belonged. 

Linda cleaned to music. She loved to clean, which even she found odd. She called it free time. It was an odd way to spend time, all those around her thought. For Mother’s Day, years back, her children pitched in together and got her a cleaning lady once a week. They decided to cancel it when Dylan came home to find Linda cleaning and the hired help enjoying a sandwich at the table.

Dylan walked in to her mother dancing with a feather duster in her hand and earphones in her ears. She sang to Carl’s pictures, the shrine to him on the mantel. She pointed and bellowed loudly as she wiped the frames, thinking she was the only one in the house. Many times over Dylan had caught her doing this. Linda never seemed to mind when she finally understood she had an audience.

This pleased Dylan very much; Linda looked to be in a wonderful mood. It was a good time to give her the news that was sure to upset her. Maybe if her anger started in a good place, it would be easier for Dylan to bring her back, which was highly unlikely.

When Linda turned her eyes Dylan’s way, Dylan smiled as she waved to get her mother’s attention.

Linda pulled the earphones from her ears and finished the tune without the music to guide her now. She moved up the step and took Dylan’s hands in hers and began to sway them back and forth, dancing and singing to her embarrassed daughter, who refused to play along.

“You’re a brat,” Linda teased. “You should always want to dance with your mother.”

“Gross,” was all Dylan could say at the thought.

Linda picked up a wicker basket and began to fold the clean clothes that were inside it.

“I need to talk to you, Mom,” Dylan began bravely. “Do you have a minute?”

Linda’s eyes turned suspicious while she studied Dylan’s face. “Oh, Lord.” She took the seat behind her without looking. “You’re pregnant.”

“What? No!” Dylan laughed. “I’m not pregnant, Mom.”

Linda placed her hand against her chest and sighed. “Whew,” she said dramatically. “I think babies are lovely, but not when my baby is having them.”

“Why would you even think that?”

“I found condoms in your bedroom,” Linda admitted shamefully. “I just figured—I don’t know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t snooping. I was getting laundry. I’m happy you chose to be safe, though.”

“Please stop.” Dylan’s face lit up like a tomato. She shook her head and tried to push back the upchuck she felt arising. “Really? You found condoms, so your first instinct was that I’m
pregnant?”

“I know. That doesn’t make any sense, does it?” Linda smiled and shrugged, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. Now that we have that out of the way, I think I can handle anything. What is it?”

Still stunned, Dylan let the words flop out of her mouth. “I found a studio apartment in Phoenix and I’m moving out.”

Linda’s mouth fell open. “I take that back. I’d rather you were pregnant.”

Dylan rolled her eyes. “Mom.”

Linda put her hand up and closed her eyes. “Wait just a minute,” she demanded with a new harshness in her tone. “You what?”

“It’s perfect for me,” Dylan continued. “It’s open and captures the light just the right way. I went and looked at it today and now I just have to meet the land—”

“Wait just a damn minute, young lady,” Linda interrupted. “You’ve been walking through this house like a ghost, nearly giving me a heart attack from stress and worry, and now, just like that, you’re moving into a studio?”

Dylan shrugged and then nodded.

“Absolutely not!” Linda shrieked with her hands in the air.

“Mom, you really don’t have a choice in this. I’m an adult.”

“Oh really, Miss Maturity?” Linda laughed sarcastically. “So grown up, aren’t we? You were such an adult while sneaking around with your brother’s best friend.”

Dylan stood to her feet. “I’m going to go upstairs and leave you to yourself. Maybe you should calm down and think it through before we continue.”

Linda crossed her arms and turned her face to the window. She closed her eyes, avoiding the building tears Dylan could see were close to falling.

“No matter what, Mom, I am doing this.” Feeling guilty but certain, Dylan placed her hand on Linda’s shoulder. “You’re going to have to accept it sooner or later. I’d like for it to be sooner so we can enjoy the last few weeks together instead of being angry with one another.”

As Dylan walked to the stairs, she was stopped by the sound of Linda’s voice. “Dylan, wait.”

“Yes?” she said with a triumphant smile. She walked back into the kitchen and stared at her mother’s wet face. It was always a shock for anyone to see Linda cry. It seemed like lately she had seen it more than she ever had. She used to see her mother as this invincible woman, a pillar of strength. It was nice to see the human side of her once in a while.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she said through a loud sob. “The boys are gone, Charlie is getting married in two months, and you were my last lifeline.”

Dylan collapsed with a sigh into the chair across from Linda. She noticed that Linda didn’t mention her father’s absence, which made Dylan respect her mother so much more. Anyone else would surely use that as leverage, but not Linda. She played fair.

“Mom, I
do
want to be alone, though. I want my own space for once.” She looked at Linda’s puzzled face and figured she would elaborate. “All my life, everyone has had a hand in what I do, how I do it, and now, even my relationships are up for discussions.”

Linda frowned. “We just knew you were hurting, that’s all.”

“Ugh,” Dylan groaned. “Don’t you get it, though, Mom? I don’t want that. I want to hurt on my own and deal with it my own way. If I need any of you, and believe me sometimes I will, I’ll ask for your help. I want to have that option, though.”

Linda stared. She had stopped crying, for now at least, and she looked more confused than anything. It wasn’t her fault. She thought of her family as a team, and she just didn’t see the way they all relentlessly smothered Dylan.

“I’m always going to need you, Mom. I just want to be able to decide for myself when it is that I ask for your help.”

Linda pursed her lips. Little by little, understanding began to make its way through her expression. She fidgeted with a placemat on the table for a few seconds and then stood to her feet.

“All right then,” she said in a sigh. “I guess my baby is leaving.”

Dylan smiled and stood with her arms open. She moved closer to her mother and wrapped up into a warm hug. “I love you, Mom,” she whispered.

“Oh, baby, you could never know how much I love you,” Linda said, as she made no attempt to hide the sound of inhaling her daughter’s sweet, familiar scent. That act never seemed to go away in all of Dylan’s life. Her mother would always reminisce about when Dylan was a baby and the little hairs on the back of her head would rub against Linda’s cheek as she held her. It was something she seemed to never tire of, even today, twenty-two years later.

Linda pulled back, and warned, “You know your brothers are going to install a state of the art security system, right?”

Dylan laughed and nodded. “They’re nothing if not suffocating.”

“Well, I suppose we have to go shopping now. You need a lot of stuff, dishes, furniture, new bedding, and cute frames and decorations. I’m buying, so let’s go.”

The two spent the rest of the day shopping. They went to dinner, and then ended the night with a chick-flick on the couch. Dylan slept in Linda’s bed with her and, for the first time in a long time, she realized how much she loved her mother.