Under the Lights (8 page)

I took a long swig of my coffee and let it burn my throat on the way down before starting my truck and making my way to Ms. Ames's house the long way in case anyone was watching.

Willa was outside at the end of her driveway, with the brown backpack she carried on one shoulder and a bottle of water in her other hand. Her blond hair was dancing in the breeze as the early morning sun illuminated her. She really was gorgeous. It sucked that I needed her friendship too much to ruin it by getting to put my hands on her.

I stopped beside her and watched as she climbed inside and looked at my uneaten muffin and three slices of bacon on the napkin on my seat. Her hand reached out, and she snatched a slice, then took a bite before smiling at me. “Next time get her to give you more. She expects me to eat cereal since she leaves so early.”

I'd keep that in mind. “You can have the muffin. I've already eaten one of them. But leave me the rest of the bacon.”

She took a muffin and began eating like she was starving. I wasn't sure a girl had ever eaten like that in front of me. Most didn't eat in front of me at all, or in front of any guys for that matter.

“Ms. Ames starving you this week?” I asked, amused.

She nodded, then smiled. “I have a high metabolism, and I require food.”

“Someone needs to tell your nonna then. She should be sending you off with more than cereal for breakfast.”

She shrugged. “Why would I do that if I have you to
smuggle it out to me from the big house? Y'all get the good stuff.”

I knew she meant the more expensive meals. My mother required uppity healthy shit that cost money and was bought at that organic grocery in Franklin. “Fine. I'll keep you fed. But you owe me. I'll collect when the time is right.”

She laughed, and although it didn't fully touch her eyes, it was definitely a laugh. Something I wanted to hear more of. Willa had a really good laugh.

BRADY

Taking Ivy to Asa's birthday party didn't help how she viewed our relationship. It also didn't give me the opportunity to spend time with Willa. Who had shown up with Gunner. Not that they had stayed together. Gunner had taken off to the woods with Serena a few minutes ago, and Willa was currently talking to Maggie and West. Maggie appeared to like Willa, as did the birthday boy, who kept moving toward her wherever she went. Damn horny-ass Asa.

Maybe I could get Maggie to invite Willa over so I could have time alone with her that Gunner couldn't interrupt. He said he wanted friendship. I didn't believe him, but I
think he
thought
that was all he wanted. He just didn't realize yet he wanted Willa like I did. I was just ready to face it. I was interested in getting to know the girl she'd become. When we were kids, I'd had a crush on her simply because she was different. Most girls I knew wouldn't get dirty playing ball or go looking for lizards. She'd been fascinating to me as a kid. Now that she was all grown up, she was still different but beautiful. Willa was like this untouched flower that everyone wanted to see and get close to.

“I want another beer,” Ivy said as she looped her arm through mine and held on to me like she needed me in order to stand up. She had drunk two Dixie cups full of the beer that we had sitting in a keg on the back of Nash's truck. She was maybe 110 pounds soaking wet. She didn't need another cup of beer. Soon she'd be vomiting on my feet and gross shit like that. I wasn't taking her home trashed.

“You've had plenty. Grab a bottle of water out of the cooler. Or a diet soda or something.” Anything but more beer.

She pouted, and her lips stuck out in an annoying way. I never really liked the pouty-lip thing. It was meant to manipulate, and that got on my nerves. I didn't want to be manipulated. “You'll puke, then pass out, and I'll be left to explain all that to your parents when I take you home.”

Sighing dramatically, she glanced over at Ginger, one of
the girls on the cheerleading squad, who was snuggled up to Ryker Lee. Ginger had been after him for weeks. He'd finally given her a notice tonight.

“He's no fun,” she whined. “Come on, Ginger. Let's go dance!” she exclaimed, already too tipsy.

Ginger wiggled her body against Ryker. “Want to dance with me?”

He winked at her and nodded his head in the direction of the music someone had blaring on their Beats Pill. “Go on, and I'll watch.”

Ginger beamed at him, excited about being able to show off. “M'kay,” she replied, and sauntered off, swaying her hips like she knew she was being watched.

“Dayum girl's begging for it,” Ryker drawled.

I chuckled. “Seems that way.”

Ryker shook his head, then turned his attention toward Willa, who was now standing up from the log she'd been sitting on while talking to West and Maggie. She looked like she might be about to go somewhere. As much as I'd like to make sure she didn't want Gunner, I also didn't want her going looking for him and seeing him and Serena going at it.

“You enjoy your view,” I told him. “I'm gonna go check on something.”

Ryker laughed. “Sure you are. I'd check on that too.”

I didn't respond or look back at him. He knew where I was headed, and he also didn't blame me. I could see it in his eyes when he looked Willa's way. She was beautiful, but there were several beautiful girls in Lawton. It was the fact she was new. They all were attracted to the newness of her. A girl they hadn't made out with or wanted to since they were in junior high.

Willa was a fantasy they hadn't worn out yet. She also had an air of mystery around her that appealed to guys. We wanted to get past her barriers. See her smile. Gunner could never be the guy she needed. Willa seemed fragile now. Gunner was terrible with fragile. He'd break her too easily. I could keep her safe and make her smile again.

Willa was walking away from my cousin and West when I walked up to her. She had made her getaway and was headed for the woods behind the clearing. Through the woods was where all the cars were parked. Which meant that was where she would find Gunner's truck and Gunner in a probably compromising situation.

“Willa,” I called out, and she stopped, then turned around.

She was dressed warm for the chilly late-fall evening, unlike the other girls here, wearing jeans and a dark blue hoodie. Willa hadn't come to draw attention to herself. “Hey,” she replied with a small smile.

“You leaving?” I asked, hoping that wasn't what she
wanted to do, because her ride was definitely busy.

“Uh, well, it's late, and I'm tired. I saw Gunner head back here earlier, and I was hoping I could find him and see if he'd mind giving me a ride back to Nonna's.”

Uh, yeah. Bad idea.

“I could use some company. It'll be hard to find him out there, and he did take Serena with him. Might not want to walk up on that,” I said with an apologetic smile.

Her eyes widened like she hadn't thought of that.

“Oh, yeah. No I don't.”

I could take her home, but that would mean leaving Ivy to get hammered on her own. I'd picked her up at her house, and her dad had met me at the door. Made me promise to take care of her and have her home on time. I couldn't bring her home drunk and past her curfew. So leaving to take Willa home wouldn't be possible.

“Want a drink?” I asked her.

She shook her head. “I don't drink.”

“You don't drink? Why haven't you died from dehydration yet?” I was teasing her.

She rolled her eyes. “I don't drink alcohol.”

“I wasn't offering you a beer. We have water and sodas too.”

Her eyes lit up. “In that case, yes. My mouth is dry. I'd love a water.”

“Come this way,” I said, being sure to walk behind the crowd of people with Willa so Ivy wouldn't spot me and swoop in to stake the claim she did not have on me.

We walked around the trucks that did park in the clearing of the field. We needed lights, somewhere to keep the keg, and extra seating, so a few drove their trucks right up in here. Ivy was dancing with Ginger and doing her best to entertain whoever was around. The Dixie cup in her hand made me mutter a curse. She'd be drunk and stupid the next time we spoke. Ivy had been comfortable and easy, so I'd let our relationship grow into something I never really wanted. I didn't want to hurt her, and honestly, she had started feeling like an obligation. It wasn't fair to her. Or me.

WILLA

The cold water felt good as I drank several long gulps before stopping. My mouth had been terribly dry, but I'd thought the only drink they had here came out of that large keg on the back of an old blue pickup truck with really big wheels. I really wanted to be at home in my room, reading in my sweatpants and cozy pink socks with the hearts on them that I'd gotten for Valentine's Day from Poppy last year. The thought of Poppy as always hurt, and I mentally winced.

Seeing everyone so drunk and carefree had taken me back to a time when I was much like them. Except, unlike here, we had added drugs to the mix. There were no
worries, and we owned the world. It was a foolish thing to think that way. Like you were invincible. Because no one was. Death would come sooner for some than others.

“Water taste that bad?” Brady asked, and I realized I'd zoned into the dark place I lived often. The one that had been my shield through the months following that night.

“No, it's great. I was just thinking of things I'd rather not.”

That was the only truth he would get.

“Come on.” He nodded toward the woods. “Let's get out of the noise and enjoy our water. You can tell me about the last six years of your life, and I'll bore you with details of mine.”

“No, thanks,” was my quick reply. Talking about the darkness wasn't happening. Not even with the counselor they'd made me see in the correctional facility I'd lived in.

He frowned. “You wanted to escape the party.”

I smiled because I didn't realize I had sounded completely rude. “I do. I just don't want to talk about my past. It's . . . boring,” I lied. Nothing was boring. It was tragic.

“Fair enough. We'll go drink our water and talk about my life. I love to be the center of attention.”

That made me laugh. “Okay.” Brady put me at ease. Once he had made me feel nervous, silly, and giddy. Now, though, getting to know the older, more mature Brady, I
liked him. He was a good guy. Solid. Dependable.

We walked into the woods and toward the vehicles parked on the other side. I noticed the truck I'd seen Brady driving to school. He was apparently taking us there. The moonlight wasn't very bright tonight, but it did illuminate the area some.

“My truck's there. We can go sit on the tailgate,” he said, nodding his head in that direction.

“What about your date?” I asked him, remembering the girl I saw him at school with a lot and that he'd arrived with.

He glanced back toward the clearing. “She's drunk and dancing. Won't know I'm missing.”

“Oh,” I said, wondering about her. I hadn't asked questions at school, but I'd overheard enough to know they were an item. “How long have y'all been dating?” I asked, wanting to get the subject on him immediately, far away from me.

He pulled his tailgate down and motioned for me to hop up. I did, and he sat down beside me. “Not sure exactly. It's been a casual thing for a few months.”

Casual? “What does
casual
mean?”

He gave me a crooked grin. “Do y'all not do casual in Arkansas?”

We did, I guess, but what I had seen at school wasn't what I thought of when I thought of casual. “I'm thinking
we have two different ideas on what casual is.”

“No. We have the same idea. It's Ivy who is confused on the casual thing. She likes to make it more serious than it is.” The guilt that flashed in his eyes wasn't hard to miss. He couldn't hide that. I wondered if he even believed what he'd just said.

I was expecting Ivy to come after us at any minute. Hopefully not swinging fists. I wasn't drunk, and it wouldn't be fair to her. After six months living in a facility with tough-ass chicks, I could hold my own. One ass kicking and I'd gotten smart. Made the right friends and learned how to fight. It was the only way to survive that world.

“Have you explained casual to her?” I asked, taking a sip of water. I wanted to know if he'd actually tried to tell Ivy they were casual. Brady was a good guy. But this seemed to tarnish him some. Stringing Ivy along wasn't exactly part of his persona.

He chuckled and shook his head. “No point. She won't listen.”

“Then you must really like her.”

“Why do you say that?” He frowned like my comment made no sense.

I thought it made complete sense. But then most teenage boys were idiots when it came to females and relationships. At least, that's been my experience.

“Because you continue to keep her around. She can't annoy you too bad.”

He was silent a moment, then sighed. “Actually, she annoys the shit out of me. I'm just too nice to hurt her.”

He clearly looked torn up about it, but that was a weak response. No girl in her right mind wanted to be pitied and kept because the guy didn't like hurting people's feelings. “If you don't like her, stringing her along isn't exactly nice either.”

Brady turned to look at me, and I met his steady blue gaze. I'd always had a thing for his eyes. They were piercing. Once I imagined them looking at me with love, but that had been the fantasy of an eleven-year-old girl who didn't realize what love was exactly. Or what love could do.

“She's got a bad home life. Stepmom is mean to her. Constantly stays on her about her body and appearance. She's insecure.”