Under the July Sun (17 page)

The altar boys trotted back and forth in their deep red cassocks, covered with crispy white surplices. Bright and polished, each cherubic mouth opened to chant the Latin verses parrot-fashion on cue. They did this mechanically and Ned thought they probably had their minds on football or suchlike in reality.

Remembering his own days as an altar boy, Ned smiled to himself. He'd always had his mind on football while appearing to be devoutly praying in church. Oh dear, he wondered, would he ever get to Heaven now?

The ceremony drew to an end and Ned heard Father O'Dowd saying he now declared them man and wife. Then came the point where the bride and groom went into the vestry to sign the register and they disappeared behind a door with the priest.

When they re-appeared, Ned caught Cat's eye and smiled as she walked down the aisle on Louis' arm.

He turned to Maeve. ‘Right now, 'tis done and I've a helluva thirst on me so let's get over to the hotel now.'

Maeve gave him a look of disgust. ‘Will ye wait now until the bride's outa the church before ye start on about wetting yer whistle?'

Nellie O'Connell hurried down the church steps ahead of the bride and groom to open up the hotel but as she crossed the road she saw Paddy Hogan lurking in a shop doorway. Furious that he had the nerve to show his face on this of all days she marched up to him.

‘Now, Paddy, what is it ye're wantin'?' she demanded.

‘Just watchin' the world go by, Nellie.'

‘Well, Paddy, the world can be seen just as well from the other end of town, so I think ‘tis best if ye do just that.' She stood her ground, hands on hips, waiting for him to move away.

Paddy stared her out for a few seconds, then decided to make himself scarce; but just at that moment the wedding guests began approaching, led by Louis and Cat.

As Cat stood at the church gates she looked across the road and saw Paddy watching her - and instantly felt fear.

Then she watched him turn and walk away.

Jerry Dwyer bustled around moving chairs, sorting people by height, and when finally satisfied, shuffled over to his photographic equipment.

‘Hold the pose,' he commanded as he took the photos of the wedding group. ‘And now, just the bride and groom please, so the rest of ye can all g'w'on inside for a spot o' hooch now ye'll be pleased to know.'

Louis and Cat sat rigidly, afraid to move, as Jerry took more photographs until he finally announced he was finished.

‘There,' Jerry said, ‘captured for all time and ye can show yer grandchildren the photographs one day.' He laughed as he began to pack up his equipment and promised to send copies of the photographs to England once he had developed them.

‘Well Cat, now that's over shall we join the rest?' Louis suggested.

‘Sure, only I just want a few moments with Mummy and Dada.'

Louis smiled at her and made his way inside. The noise was beyond ordinary speaking level and he had to push his way through the crowd to order a glass of porter. He leaned against the bar watching the band tune up.

So, he thought, I've finally done it! I'm now a married man. He turned the names over in his mind; Mrs. Ross; Mrs. Catherine Ross; Mr. and Mrs. Louis Ross. My wife! It sounded so strange to him, yet oddly comforting. No longer alone but part of a couple.

He saw Cat come into the bar with her parents. She was looking for him among the crowd so he waved to draw her attention. She caught his gaze and in that instant he felt so elated he wanted to shout out with exhilaration
, let my wife through
, but instead decorum reigned and he merely moved towards her through the crush and said nothing.

The bandleader announced that the bride and groom would take the floor for the first dance, and gently Louis and Cat were guided to the space set aside for dancing. They stood facing one another and his arm went round her waist as she slipped her hand into his, and they began dancing, much to everyone's delight.

After a while the music grew faster and Cat broke away from Louis as she performed the dance so familiar to her, but totally unknown to him.

He stood watching; fascinated. She pulled up her dress so that her feet, freed from the material, tapped and banged the floor as she performed a traditional Irish dance.

Her footwork amazed him. The crowd clapped in time with the music and Cat swirled and danced, her cheeks glowing as Louis dropped back into the crowd, watching his woman.

He felt he was witnessing a performance that would outstrip any world-class performer. He had no idea she could dance like this.

Cat's sisters then joined her on the floor and soon the Delaney women took up the whole area. The party was in full swing!

By midnight things showed no sign of slowing down but Cat and Louis decided to slip away, knowing they had a long journey back to England in the morning.

Louis closed the door behind him. ‘Well you certainly can dance, Mrs. Ross,' he laughed loosening his tunic belt. ‘Have you any more talents I don't know about?'

‘Ah! We all dance – 'tis nothin' special.'

‘
I
think it is,' he said watching her unpack her travelling bag.

She took her nightdress out and laid it on the bed, then looked up at him as he unbuttoned his tunic.

‘Ye look hot, Pet. Why didn't ye take off the jacket tonight?'

‘Habit really, I didn't think about it. Being in the army makes you adjust to being uncomfortable and you simply put up with it.'

‘Well I'm glad I'm not in the army. I hate wearin' tight clothes, especially in this heat.'

Louis watched her fanning her face with her hand, wondering who should go to the bathroom first. He stood awkwardly, tunic undone, feeling he should make the first move but unsure what that move should be. Should he get undressed in the same room?

‘Well, I'll just go along to the bathroom,' Cat finally said and gathered up her nightdress and hairbrush.

‘Yes, of course. I'll go along when you come back.' He faltered over what to say now that they were finally alone.

Cat opened the door and went down the hallway to the bathroom, leaving him alone to think about what his next move should be.

Once alone Louis went to the window, slid up the sash and leaned out. The air was sultry and he thought there might be a storm later. He lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out into the night air, wishing that they did not have to return to England in a few hours.

He didn't hear Cat quietly return to the room and only became aware of her presence when he heard her slip between the bedclothes. Surprised, he turned. ‘Oh I didn't hear you come back.'

‘No, ye were miles away. I've finished in the bathroom. Are ye goin' along there now?'

‘Yes. I'll only be a little while.' He stubbed his cigarette out and turned to close the window.

‘Ah leave it open, will ye? 'tis too hot. I'll suffocate if ye close it.'

‘If you're sure, only I think there might be a storm later.'

‘If it rains we can close it, but there isn't a leaf stirrin' at the moment.'

He nodded agreement and went to the bathroom where he sat on a chair wondering what to do. Should he take off all his clothes and walk back in naked? No, he decided that might frighten the life out of her. Should he go back in fully dressed and take them off in front of her. Well, that could be embarrassing. Perhaps if he half undressed and just waited to see what happened? He sat trying to come to a decision until finally, after washing his face and cleaning his teeth, he was so weary he decided to just go back and see what happened.

He opened the door and noticed Cat had blown the candles out, so he tiptoed into the darkened room and made his way to the bed. He stood watching Cat in the moonlight for a while before sitting down to pull his boots off.

He took off his shirt, lowered his braces and slid his trousers down; then folded up his uniform neatly and stood in his underwear silhouetted by the moonlight. Before climbing into bed, he knelt down to say his prayers, then crossed himself and pulled back the covers gingerly to slide between the sheets.

He laid rigidly on the edge of the bed his tension rising; then the familiar nausea and shaking began and he felt he would vomit. Louis rushed quickly to the bathroom where he sat on the chair waiting for the feeling to pass.

Eventually, after splashing cold water on his face he began to recover, so returned to the bedroom. As he opened the door he saw Cat had re-lit the candle and was sitting up in bed.

‘Oh! You startled me,' he said moving across the room to sit on the bed.

‘Are ye sick Louis? Did ye drink too much?' She looked worried and knelt up in the bed to touch his face.

He was shivering. ‘No. It's nothing, just the effects of being gassed. It happened to all of us. I just wait for it to pass. I need to rest until it goes but I don't want you to worry Cat, really!' He lay down and though the evening was hot, he felt chilled and trembled.

‘Here, cuddle up, ye feel cold,' she said holding out an arm for him to curl into. He blew out the candle and shifted across the bed to her then lay cradled by her arm. He embraced her and nestling against her smelled lavender water on her skin. He thought she smelled lovely. As he relaxed against her body, he felt the attack recede.

Gently he kissed her neck, then her cheek and lifted his head a little to kiss her lips. He didn't want to rush things so softly ran his fingertip along her nose and down over her mouth, under her throat and circled the dip in her skin where her nightdress buttoned at the neck

Deftly he passed the buttons through the buttonholes and pulled back the opening until her breasts were revealed. She turned her head to him and smiled.

‘I love you Louis.'

‘I love you too, more than I can say.'

She kissed his forehead and he began caressing her breasts feeling her nipples harden. Then he began kissing her nipples. He sensed her excitement and was aroused.

He pulled her nightdress up and she fumbled feverishly to remove the garment, dragging it off over her head and throwing it to the floor as Louis struggled out of his underwear beneath the covers and dropped them over the side of the bed.

His hand slid between her legs, which she opened slowly, and ferocity overcame her so that she began pulling his hand into her, forcing it to go in deeper and deeper. Suddenly she cried out, and Louis stopped.

‘I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,' he said, raising himself onto an elbow, ‘do you want me to stop?'

In reply she merely put her arms round his neck and pulled his face closer to kiss his lips, as he eased himself onto her body.

He pressed himself against her and felt her hips lifting, inviting him into her as their bodies began writhing in unison.

Just then lightning forked the skies preceding the storm and in the neon flash Louis looked down. He imagined he saw the young German soldier beneath his grip that he had wrestled once in a desperate fight. Louis had raised his arm and his knife had stabbed wildly, slashing into the soldier's chest, which spurted warm purple-red blood. He had blood on his hands, blood on his face. He had penetrated the soldier's body with his knife.

Louis rolled away from her.

‘I'm sorry. I just can't do it tonight. It's not you…'

A heavy silence fell between them. Humiliated, Cat reached down and picked her nightdress up and quickly slipped it over her head. She curled up in the bed with her back to him.

Aware of her silence, he listened to her breathing as thunder rumbled around the skies long after she had fallen asleep.

On the ferry to Fishguard Cat stayed on deck with Louis, wondering how she could broach the subject of last night. She couldn't let him go back to the war with what felt like such a rift between them.

He was solicitous toward her, making sure she wasn't chilled by the sea breeze, but Cat's chill was on the inside and she couldn't find the words to cut through the tension that now existed between them.

She felt she had done something wrong, but was at a loss as to what it was. Surely she reasoned, what they were doing last night was what married people did, and as married people it was not a sin in the eyes of God. So why, she asked herself, had Louis reacted in the way he had and left her feeling she was dirty?

There was nobody she could turn to. This was not the sort of thing she could chat over with Mummy or her sisters now; it had taken on a privacy of its own. He was the only one she could talk to about their failure to consummate the marriage but Louis was not talking about it.

Ellie joined them on the deck, slipping her arm through Louis'. She smiled at him, ‘Louis, ye're the nicest brother-in-law in the whole world. I'm glad ye're part of the family now.'

Louis patted her hand. ‘I'm glad too Ellie. Now we just have to find you a young man and then we'll be a nice foursome.'

She laughed at this and then left the newly-weds alone as they approached the mainland where they would disembark and catch the train to London.

* * *

Louis' train was leaving from a different platform, so after seeing Ellie into her seat, Louis and Cat had a little time alone to say goodbye.

They chatted about incidental things, and though Cat longed to open up her heart to tell him how devastated she felt, she was unable to overcome the barrier between them. They strolled along exchanging niceties instead.

‘Don't forget to write just as soon as you can, Cat?'

‘I will. Louis─' she began, but he cut across her.

‘And if you get some time I would appreciate you knitting me some more socks, the others were so useful.' He was looking away from her and she couldn't gauge what he was thinking.