Under the Cornerstone (17 page)

“Rich!” I croak out from being smashed against Jimmy.

“I’m not done with her,” Jimmy tells Rich.

“Let her go,” Rich demands.

“Nope.”

I hear Rich sigh, “You’re going to have to come on tour with us. We are having Noely withdrawals bad. I’ve got the shakes. Jimmy foams at the mouth. Ryan’s muscles are twitching. We’ve lost our appetites. You have to come on tour.”

I giggle.

Jimmy doesn’t, “Why the fuck I gotta be the one foaming at the mouth?”

Rich answers, “Because you’re a fucking dog.”

“True story,” I add.

“That wasn’t nice, Noe,” I can hear the pout in Jimmy’s voice.

“Truth hurts mutha fucka,” I reply.

He finally sets me on my feet, smacks my ass, and turns me around to face Rich. I don’t get to see his face, but for a second before he pulls me in just as tightly as Jimmy did.

“You look beautiful,” he compliments me.

“I miss you, Rich,” I say quietly.

“I miss
you
like crazy,” he says back. “Now, let me see those foxy shoes.”

He releases me and spin around slowly for him to check out the shoes he bought me, “I know I already said thank you over the phone, but seriously, they’re gorgeous. Thank you so much.”

He smiles on at me, “I saw them and knew you had to have them.”

“And I’d like to thank you as well,” Alex peps up.

Jimmy and Rich both laugh and introduce themselves to Alex. They pull him in like he’s one of us. Jimmy asks him about his reputation of banging every hot actress, model, and musician in L.A. and shows mad respect at the amount of notches the man apparently has on his bedpost. It shouldn’t surprise me with a man who looks like Alex. I realize he and Johnny are alike in that aspect. They both shine so brightly, and everyone wants to covet the stars.

Rich thanks Alex for taking care of me in L.A., and then Ryan runs towards me. I brace myself for the impact.

“You’re fucking insane!” I yell at him just before he lowers his shoulder and slings me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Interception!” Ryan yells and runs away from the buses.

“Sack him!” Jimmy yells from behind us.

“Ryan, my ass is hanging out!” I scream.

“I know and it’s fucking glorious!” With that Ryan smacks me on said ass.

I hear a door open, close, and then Ryan takes off again. Men are bustling around from what I can see. They whistle and encourage Ryan. He stops at another door, opens, walks through, and closes it.

“I captured the princess!” he says and a room full of men laugh.

A few moments later the door opens and Jimmy, Rick, and Alex loudly enter. Ryan sets me to my feet, holds me still while the blood flow returns to my body, and then he smiles like a Cheshire cat and spins me around with a whistle.

“Damn, Noely baby. Wanna fuck?” he asks and once again the men erupt in laughter.

“Friend-zoned buddy,” I warn him.

“Psh, friend zones are only for ugly chicks. Am I right, guys?” he asks and I look around to see several familiar faces.

Like familiar rock star faces I’ve only seen in pictures and on the television. Dear God, someone took every hot rock star I’ve ever secretly lusted after and put them all in one room. They should call this tour
The Rock of Cock
.

I don’t get long to take them in and settle into my star struck mode before Ryan pulls me in a sweet embrace and rests his chin on the top of my head.

“This must be Noely baby,” an unfamiliar deep voice says.

“The one and only,” Johnny answers from somewhere in the room.

My heart plummets. Through the reunion, love, and excitement of seeing rock stars, I’d momentarily forgotten about Johnny.

“I got you,” Ryan whispers to me.

He releases me, smiles, places a kiss on my forehead, and then turns me around before pulling me flush to his body in a protective manner.

“Everybody, this is Noles. Noe this is everybody,” he so eloquently introduces.

I wave my hand with a smile. After a few moments, everyone stops paying attention to me and returns to their own small groups of people located throughout the large room. Rich introduces Alex to Ryan, and then Johnny ambles up with his arm draped around a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. I fight the urge to cry… or vomit.

I forgot how much he swaggers when he walks. Fuck, he’s still as beautiful as the day I last saw him arguing with Anna Belle outside Saul’s Bar.

Jimmy introduces Alex to Johnny, “Johnny, this is Noely’s friend Alex Bradbury.”

Johnny quirks an eyebrow, “Nice to meet you man.” He extends a hand to Alex, and then looks me straight in the eye causing my heart to palpitate. This,” he looks down at the pretty blonde, “is my
girlfriend
Carrie.”

Rich clears his throat at Johnny’s asshole tone, but Johnny only shrugs.

“This is Noely,” he says like I’m the most insignificant thing he’s ever had the pleasure of looking at in this world.

“Who are
you
?” she asks with a catty tone, full of self-importance.

Last I checked, she wasn’t one of the rock stars in the room.

“This is
our
best friend, Noely,” Ryan jumps in with his own asshole tone and pulls me tighter to his side.

“Funny, I’ve never heard your name before,” she says to me with resting bitch face.

To cat fight, or not to cat fight… is the question.

“Stop being a cunt,” Jimmy tells her.

Johnny bucks up, “Don’t fucking talk to her that way.”

“Then muzzle your bitch. She doesn’t talk to Noely that way. End of,” Ryan jumps in.

I’m taking it the guys aren’t fans of hers, which is fine by me.

Carrie opens her mouth to say something, and then promptly shuts it when I glare at her. I’m still itching to grab her by the nape of her head in these five-inch heels.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jimmy suggests, but turns and walks away with my hand in his.

Once we’re out the door, we find an empty space in the courtesy room. Jimmy hands Alex and I a beer.

“We’ve got to take care of a few things,” Jimmy seethes. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

That translates into ripping into Johnny’s ass.

“Leave it alone,” I plead.

“No,” he says with finality and walks out of the room with Ryan and Rich.

“You okay?” Alex asks.

I look over at him and release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Dandy,” I answer. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Let’s drink a few beers, and then I propose we head down to the arena and listen to some live music,” he says.

“That sounds great,” I say with my voice full of gratitude.

And that’s what we do. We walk down to the arena with beers in hand, and my arm through the crook of his elbow. As he guides me around the crowd, his hands find my hips and just like that I don’t feel so much like a piece of shit anymore. I don’t feel insignificant and thrown to the curb for trash pickup.

We watch the two bands play, and both are really good. I dance with Alex, sing along to the songs I know, which is most of them. Alex sings along too, proving he’s a real rock fan. We drink beer and I eventually start dancing sensually against him.

“I’m only a man,” he says into my ear. “You keep that up and I’ll bend you over that barrier, lift your dress up, and fuck you.”

My pussy quivers at his words, but to play it off, I turn around smile at him and slug him in the shoulder.

“You shouldn’t have worn that dress and those heels if you don’t want me to look,” he shrugs with a grin.

“Let’s go get more beer,” I say.

We show security our backstage passes and once we’re granted access, I go in search of Jimmy, Rich, and Ryan. I turn a corner in the hallway and run into them.

Jimmy looks pissed, the face he gets when he’s about to brawl in the middle of a bar. I frown up at him. I haven’t seen him in four months and the last thing I want is for his night to be ruined because of me.

I turn to Alex, “I’m going to talk to Jimmy for a sec to see if I can calm him down.”

Alex gives me an understanding look, “I think that’s a good idea before he catches a murder charge.”

I giggle at his response, because that’s exactly what’s in Jimmy’s eyes… murder.

“Jimmy Boo, let’s take a walk,” I suggest.

He frowns at me while Rich mouths a “thank you”. He doesn’t answer me, so I wrap my arm around him and turn him around. We walk in silence until we reach the outside door.

“Fresh air will do you some good,” I tell him.

We find a little platform to sit on and Jimmy lights up a cigarette as he begins to pace.

“He didn’t have the fucking right to talk to you that way.”

“He has the right to be angry,” I admit. “I left without an explanation.”

“What the hell happened that night?” he asks.

“He asked me to be with him, and then I saw him with Anna Belle and realized he’d never really be mine. I can’t live like that. It isn’t fair to either one of us. It was better to break away when I did instead of months or years down the road when he realized I wouldn’t ever be enough,” I admit.

“What the fuck, Noely?”

“What?”

“He’s been in love with you since we were kids. You always joked he had a type, and you were right.
You’re
his type. He loves you. Virtually every woman you’ve seen him with since we were teenagers has blonde hair and blue eyes, but not because that’s his type. He’s trying to replace what he can’t have. Don’t you get that?” he asks.

“But Johnny is bigger than life, Jim. He may love me, but love isn’t always enough. Being with him would remind me on a daily basis that all those women want him. They want him in any way they can get him. Half of Brooklyn has already had him. You can’t ask something so free and uninhibited to be caged in. There will always be someone else there, Jimmy. I can’t live that way. Four months and he’s already got his arm around a girl he’s calling his girlfriend. I’ve seen him with so many women, but he’s never called a woman his girlfriend. There. Will. Always. Be. Someone. Else.”

“He’s waiting on you!” Jimmy yells.

“Does it look like he’s waiting on me?” I ask him.

He gives me a look of exasperation, but then I see when realization hits him. The Reality of the Johnny and Noely situation hits him like a brick to the face, “Fuck.”

“That’s what I realized that night outside Saul’s. If I had stayed in Brooklyn, I wouldn’t be able to escape him. I wouldn’t be able to tell him no and he would’ve talked me into being together. You think it ended badly four months ago? Imagine the destruction and its aftermath if I would’ve agreed to be with him.”

“Fuck,” he repeats. “So two people who love each other more than I’ve ever seen are only destined to tear each other apart? Where’s the fucking hope, Noles?”

“There has to be more than love and hope. I just don’t know what the more is quite yet.”

“Yeah, I’m fucking getting that,” he says solemnly.

I don’t think it’s my own woes that have him so sad right now, but I don’t ask. He’ll share when he’s ready.

“You and Alex?” he asks.

“We’re just friends and co-workers. Well, he’s technically my boss.”

“Let’s get you inside before the show starts.”

Chapter Eighteen

Jimmy returns me to Alex, and even joins us down below in the pit while Blood Feather plays. I put the past ten months out of my head and enjoy the show like I did back in the day before anyone knew who they were. I drink and I’m merry. Jimmy and Alex rock out beside me. I sing my heart out to every fucking word and dance like it’s the last day of my life.

Johnny looks down and sings to me several moments throughout the show, but his face isn’t full of hatred as it had been earlier in the night. He even smirks at me. While he was on stage, it was as if we could forget the past ten months and just be Noely and Johnny. The Noely and Johnny we’ve always been. I don’t shy away from his gaze when he sings to me, no, I sing right along with him.

The underneath of my hair is covered in sweat by the end of their set and I’m high on life. The beer buzz is still running through my head, and a smile feels like it’s permanently fixed upon my face. I remember when I used to have bad days at Kohler & Kohler, I’d go watch these guys play somewhere in New York and all would be right in my world again. Their music did that to me. Still does.

Jimmy leads us to the backstage area where I hug the sweaty guys and have several laughs. Johnny and I don’t speak, but Carrie runs around after him like a puppy dog. He looks agitated and I know better than try to talk to him. Alex drinks with Jimmy, Rich, and Ryan for a few more hours and ends up hammered by the time I’m ready to go home and go to bed. They help me load his drunk ass into the limo, and his driver ensures them, he will get him home as he is Alex’s regular driver. When he drops me off at the hotel, Alex and his driver promise me he’ll make it home okay. Alex kisses my cheek before I leave and once again tells me how beautiful I look tonight.

I smile as I saunter through the lobby and then wait patiently for the elevator. I lean against the back of the car wall and sigh.

What a night.

The car dings, so I push off the wall and exit on the top floor. I smile the entire way to my door until I see a pair of feet at my door. My smile drops when I look up and see Johnny. He pushes off the wall he was leaning against and faces me.

“Noely,” he says with pain in his voice.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I reply. “How did you know where I was staying?”

“Doesn’t matter. I needed to see you,” he admits.

“No,” I shake my head.

I don’t trust myself around him.

“Where’s Carrie?” I ask with venom in my voice.

I’m jealous. I know that. She has the man I love. I can’t have him, but she can. Of course I’m jealous.

“Who fucking cares?” he answers with a careless shrug of his shoulders.

“Isn’t she your
girlfriend
?” I ask with a bitter taste in my mouth.

“No. I said that to hurt you,” he says with shame in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

“You need to leave,” I tell him.