down in the basement. That was at least five
floors … She looked at Chris in alarm.
‘It’s all right,’ he said, moving a little closer. ‘They’re just working on the motor.’
‘But if it gives way …’ She could hear the shake in her
voice. ‘It’ll be like being dropped off the roof in a box. We
wouldn’t have a chance.’
‘It won’t give way. Here, let me put my arm round you.’
He slid his arm round her shoulders and held her firmly.
Judy pressed her face against his shoulder. He smelt of blue
serge and coal-tar soap and sweat. She breathed in the scent
of him, feeling a sudden quickening of her pulse. Sean had
smelt a little like this, but there was a difference … the lift shook again and she gasped and pressed closer.
‘It’s all right.’ Chris’s voice was soft and soothing. His
fingers gripped her shoulder and he put his other arm
around her and stroked her back. ‘It’s all right, Judy. You’re
safe. We’re not going to fall. It’s all right.’
They sat very still, pressed close together. Judy could feel
her heart beating. Her cheek was against his neck and she
could feel his pulse beneath the warm skin. His fair hair
tickled her face. She gripped his shoulders tightly.
I will tell him about Sean, she decided. After we’ve got
out of here, when everything’s all right again, I’ll tell him
about Sean. It won’t make any difference. I don’t want
another sweetheart, not yet, not for a long time, maybe not
ever. But I would like to be friends, and I want him to know
about Sean. I want him to know the important things…
The lift gave a huge shudder. For a moment, it hung
trembling, as if undecided as to what to do next. Judy held
her breath and pressed her face hard against Chris’s
shoulder. She felt his arms tighten about her. The cables
creaked, the lift groaned and there was a shiver of
movement. Then, slowly and complainingly, it began to
rise.
‘It’s all right,’ Chris whispered. ‘Judy, it’s all right.’
She lifted her head to look at him. ‘We’re going up! Oh, Chris.’
‘Thank God for that,’ he said, and grinned a little shakily.
‘I don’t mind admitting, even I was a bit worried there for a
minute!’
They laughed with relief. Their eyes met and as she saw
his pupils darken Judy felt a quick surge of excitement. She
lifted her face towards him and, when he bent closer and his
lips met hers, she closed her eyes and relaxed against his
body. For a brief, whirling moment, she forgot where they
were, forgot the creaking lift, forgot Mr Williams’s important
document and the fact that there was likely to be a
reception committee awaiting them when they arrived. It
was only the sound of ironic cheering that brought her out
of her daze and then she blinked, stared through the gates at
the little cluster of people waiting at the foot of the steel
stairway, and jerked herself out of his arms.
‘For goodness sake!’ Scarlet with embarrassment, she
brushed back her hair, grabbed the brown folder and
scrambled to her feet. Mr Williams was there himself, his
hand held out, a frown of disapproval on his face. So was
Laura, her lips twitching with amusement. So were half a dozen other Observers, all applauding - all except one.
The one not applauding was a girl of Judy’s own age. Tall
and slim, with the sort of auburn hair Judy would have
given her eye teeth for, and eyes as green as a cat’s, she was
dressed in the Air Force blue uniform and sported a Spitfire
badge like the one Chris wore on his sleeve. She was leaning
against the wall, her arms folded, her lips tight, and as she
glanced from Judy to Chris her eyes flashed with temper.
Why, she’s his girlfriend, Judy thought indignantly. And
there he was kissing me, for all to see! The rotter!’
She turned away angrily and found herself confronting
the two sailors who had rescued them. They were packing
away their tools into canvas bags and straightened up to grin
at her. One was tall and thin, the other shorter than Judy
herself, with a bald head and button nose.
‘Well, that wasn’t too bad, was it, love?’ he said, and she
recognised the voice that had shouted down to them, the
one that she had envisaged as belonging to a big, brawny
matelot with beard and moustache. ‘You seem to have
passed the time all right, anyway!’
Judy stared at him. Then, still scarlet, she turned her
back and without even thanking him set off down the stairs,
back to the ground floor.
It’ll be a long time before I trust that lift again, she
reflected grimly. And even longer before I trust one of those
beastly Observers!
For the next few days, Judy did her best to avoid Chris
Barrett.
It wasn’t easy. She couldn’t find out when his shifts were
without attracting comment; the story of their incarceration
in the lift, and the attitude in which they’d been caught
when it arrived, had gone all round the building and Judy
found herself the butt of a good deal of teasing. She did her
best to take it in good part and it soon died down, but she
knew that even to mention his name would be enough to
start it all over again. To be seen talking to him would be
even worse, so whenever she caught sight of him she darted
through the nearest doorway, making some excuse if she
found herself in an office she didn’t normally visit. Once she
had to wait for several minutes in a cluttered broom
cupboard, as a series of footsteps went by, before emerging
in the hope that the corridor was empty.
To make matters worse, Chris didn’t seem to have the
same inhibitions. Time and time again he tried to speak to
her, until at last Judy was forced to face him on the hotel
steps, where she’d met him as she hurried out. He stood just
below her, the sun on his hair as he looked up, and his blue
eyes laughing.
‘Judy! I was beginning to think you were trying to avoid
me.’
‘Well, you were right,’ she retorted waspishly. ‘Look, I’m
sorry, I’m in a hurry—’
‘Don’t rush off,’ he begged. ‘There’s something I want to
say to you.’
‘I’ve got a bus to catch.’
‘No, you haven’t. You come by bike, I’ve seen you. Look,
this won’t take a minute.’ He reached out and touched her
arm and Judy jumped away as if she’d been stung.
‘Don’t do that! Haven’t you caused enough trouble?’ Pink
with anger, she tried to push past him, but his hand
tightened on her sleeve and she glared at him. ‘Let me go!’
‘Not until you listen to what I want to say. Judy, about
the lift—’
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ she broke in, thrusting him
away and walking across the road with tight, quick steps. He
followed her and she turned at the top of the beach and
began to stride along the promenade, too angry to notice the
glint of sunshine on the rippling waves or the green rolling
hills of the Isle of Wight. ‘It’s taken days to live it down, and if people see us here like this it’ll start all over again. D’you
realise how embarrassing it was for me? All those people
watching - I thought I’d die, I did really.’
‘I just want to say I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you.’
‘Well, you shouldn’t have done it, then. You should have
behaved like a gentleman.’
‘Oh, come on,’ he said, beginning to sound angry in his
turn. ‘It was only a kiss, for Pete’s sake. I wasn’t asking you to marry me!’
Judy looked down at his hand. She plucked it away from
her sleeve, then she met his eyes coldly.
‘That’s just as well,’ she said in a tight, icy tone, ‘because
I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on this earth.
And I don’t want to be stuck in a lift with you again, either.
I don’t even want to talk to you.’
‘But why not?’ he asked in bewilderment. ‘Look, I
thought we were getting on really well when we were in that
lift together. And when I kissed you - well, you kissed me as
well. At least, that’s what it felt like. And it wasn’t the end of the world when everyone saw us, was it? We weren’t
doing anything wrong. So why was it so terrible?’
Judy looked at him. ‘And what did your girlfriend think
about it? Didn’t she think it was terrible - seeing you kissing another girl?’
‘My girlfriend?’ He stared at her. ‘What on earth are you
talking about now? I haven’t got a girlfriend.’ He glinted a
wink at her. ‘I was hoping when we were in the lift that that
was about to change!’
Judy gave him a chilly look. ‘So who was that redhead if
she’s not your girlfriend? The one who was looking so
furious when we got out of the lift? If looks could kill, you’d have dropped dead on the spot.’
‘You mean Joyce? Oh Judy,’ his face broke into laughter,
‘Joyce isn’t my girlfriend! She’s engaged to a bloke at HQ in
Winchester. She wouldn’t give me the time of day, let alone
go out with me. And if you want to know why she was
furious, it was because she couldn’t go off duty until I was
there - and she was waiting to go off on a forty-eight-hour pass for a dirty weekend! It was bad enough that I kept her
waiting, but the thought that I might have enjoyed being
stuck - well, that took the biscuit. I tell you, the way she laid into me you’d think I’d done it deliberately!’
‘Oh,’ Judy said blankly. ‘Oh.’ She stared at him for a
moment, then turned away and looked out over the sea.
There was a light breeze, just enough to blow the tops off
the waves into a spray of glittering foam. ‘Oh - well, I’m
sorry. I thought…’
‘I know what you thought,’ he said, grinning. ‘So now
will you think again? Give me a smile now and then? Say
hello - that sort of thing?’
She laughed. ‘Of course I will! I’m sorry, Chris. It was
just that—’
‘Just that we seemed to be getting on so well together,’ he
said quietly. He took her left hand and raised it, looking at
the ring. ‘I did notice it, in case you were wondering. That’s
why I didn’t ask to see you again - though I wanted to, right
from the start. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t believe my luck when that lift got stuck — and before you ask, no, I
didn’t arrange it!’ His eyes laughed at her again. ‘But then,
when we kissed - well, I felt that there could be something
more between us.’ He looked at the ring again. ‘This chap
you’re engaged to - is it really that serious?’
Judy bit her lip and looked down. She could walk away
from Chris now. She could let him think she was still
engaged, that she wasn’t interested in any other man. She
knew that he wouldn’t pester her. He would accept it, and it
really would be just a matter of a casual ‘hello’ now and
then, a smile as they passed in the corridor.
But Sean was dead. He was never going to come back,
and was she to spend the rest of her life alone? The next
sixty years, perhaps, recalling a young sailor she had known
and loved for just a few weeks?
Chris might not ever be more than a friend. They might
fall in love for a little while and then part. But as she looked down at the ring with its tiny diamond, she remembered her
grandmother’s words. ‘You’ve got to start living again sometime, Judy. You’ve got to.’
Perhaps she could start with Chris.
She made up her mind and lifted her face to look him in
the eye. He was watching her with a tinge of anxiety.
‘I want to tell you about it,’ she said, ‘but not now - not
here. Perhaps we could meet one evening, after your duty go
for a walk or something.’
‘AH right,’ he said. ‘What about Saturday - oh blast, I
can’t - we’ve got my uncle and aunt coming down from
London and Mum’ll throw a fit if I’m not there. How about
Sunday? I’m on duty in the afternoon but I’m off at six - we
could go and have some tea and then maybe see a film.
That’s if you’d like to do that,’ he added with that touch of
anxiety again.
Judy nodded and smiled. ‘That’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘I’ll
write down my address. Come and call for me at six.’
I’ve made a date, she thought with amazement as she
cycled home. I’ve made a date! It might not lead to anything
- I’m not sure I even want it to - but it’s a date and I don’t
feel guilty about Sean, I don’t feel guilty at all. He wouldn’t have wanted me to live my life as if half of it was over. He’d
have wanted me to start living again.
She glanced down at her left hand and saw his ring,
winking up at her. On a sudden impulse, she stopped and
took it off her finger and put it on her right hand instead.
There, she thought. I’ll still wear it for you, in remembrance.
But I know now that it can never be more than that.
It’s not a promise any more.
With a heart lighter than it had been for many months,
she pushed down the pedal and cycled the rest of the way
home.
On 27 April, the Sunday when Judy had been due to meet
Chris, the Luftwaffe came again.
The raid began early in the evening, just when the people
of Portsmouth had finished their Sunday tea and were