Under Seige (10 page)

Bronco's words earlier about Lance's affair burned into Zach's brain. Damn Lance Sinclair and his ability to reach beyond the grave to hurt Julia.

Zach chose his words with care, strategy never more mission-essential than now. What he said became important beyond convincing her to marry him. He needed to heal those fears for her and reassure her that some men could be trusted.
He
could be trusted. "Julia, I've already gone without sex for over a year and it hasn't killed me yet."

Although there were times—like now—when he suspected it might.

"You have?"

"You know my schedule. When has there been time! Every spare second, and there haven't been many, I've spent with my kids."

Her gaze skittered around the car, anywhere but toward him. "I figured that maybe during TDYs..."

She'd thought about his sex life before now? A promising, exciting as hell, admission. Except the woman was busy listing all the reasons she couldn't sleep with him.

Wings level. Stay the course. "Keeping crewdogs out of trouble on TDY is a full-time job. There isn't time for anything else."

Her gaze landed flat-out on him. "Give me a break."

There came that directness of hers again, which meant she would respect honesty in return. "Julia, I'm a regular guy with a healthy sex drive." A hundred percent healthy at the moment, not that she needed that much honesty. "But I've had years to practice controlling myself. You know how much time cargo fliers spend away from home. Not once did I ever cheat on Pam."

Julia's thumbs stroked over the bear's ears. "I'm not Pam."

Thank God, for him and for his girls. "I know." He tugged the toy from her and took her hand. He brushed her wrist with his thumb as she'd stroked the stuffed animal. "But married is married, regardless of the conditions when those vows are taken, no matter what the time frame. I'm a man who keeps his word and as long as we're married, I won't touch another woman. You can trust me."

He pushed aside the thought that he wasn't being completely honest with her about Lance's accident. The commander voice inside told him it didn't matter. That was classified business so it didn't concern the here and now with Julia.

She stared at their clasped hands. "You'll actually consider that long without sex, when you've already gone over a year without?"

His libido offered a shout of protest.

Which Zach ignored. No time to waver now, because even if he backed down he couldn't envision any other woman he wanted in his bed.

Besides, there was nothing to say he couldn't try to persuade her later. "You're an incredible woman, Julia, and I won't lie to you. I want you. If you change your mind about sleeping together, I certainly won't turn you down, but the call's yours to make."

Her brows pulled together. "How can you be so sure that if I change my mind, you will still want me in your bed for as long as we stay married? We've never even kissed."

Zach knew an invitation when he heard one, and there was no mistaking her gentle sway forward. All the restless adrenaline from his flight stirred to life. "Instinct. It's everything to fliers. We learn early on to trust what it tells us, and my instincts tell me we will be good together. Very good."

He lifted her hand and pressed his mouth to her wrist without ever looking away from her face. Her pulse leap approval under his lips. Zach tucked her hand against his chest and slid his fingers along the back of her neck, up into her hair and coaxed her head forward. He might be willing to marry again for his kids, make any sacrifice for their well-being, but this moment was for him.

And Julia.

Julia.

One last time he checked for hesitation. He found a flash of wariness, but longing overrode it by a mile.

Her bottom lip fell open just a hint, all the confirmation he needed, Right or wrong, she wanted this too.

No more waiting.

He skimmed the corner of her mouth once, twice, drawing her bottom lip between his teeth until she whimpered. Her lashes drifting closed, she turned her face toward him, bringing their mouths closer.

"Please."

"Not yet." Zach shifted his attention to her jaw, up to her ear. With so much riding on a single kiss, he planned to take his time and make that kiss so persuasive she wouldn't be able to walk away. So persuasive she would be too weak-kneed to walk. Period.

He outlined the delicate shell before pausing to whisper, "I haven't kissed you, Julia, not yet, but I still know I want you. Just you."

Her head fell back, exposing a stretch of neck he couldn't resist, didn't have to resist for once. His mouth found the pulse he'd traced earlier with his thumbs, but still he didn't kiss her. He continued his determined assault on her senses, trying to ignore the undeniable effect she had on his own in the process.

He traced his way back up until his mouth rested against her temple while he held her. "We still haven't kissed, Julia." He breathed against her skin. "But you know too."

A moan vibrated through her throat.

His forehead fell to rest against hers. "Julia?"

Her lashes fluttered open. "What?''

Zach stared into her sleepy eyes, needing to hear her say she wanted him too, praying she would admit it soon because he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back. "Trust those instincts, Julia. You know too, don't you?"

"Yes, Zach, I know. Now kiss me, and please make it as awesome as I think it's going to be. Make me forget everything else for just a while."

He'd never been one to turn down a challenge.

Zach took her mouth, fully. His tongue swept inside, deeper, chocolate, Julia and heat flooding his senses. Her fingers glided up to his face, cupped, caressed until he could almost swear she revived nerves long dead. He tried to hold back and shower her with gentle enticement.

But she was having none of that.

He should have known better.

Julia threw herself into the kiss with all the exuberance he'd come to recognize she devoted to every second of life. Her arms locked around his neck, her lips parting, inviting. Demanding. And he planned to accept the invitation as well as the challenge.

She moaned into his mouth, her hands running down his back and drawing him closer. Soft breasts to solid chest, she strained to get as close as they could without him pulling her out of that car or laying her down inside. Need pulsed through him—hot, thick and urgent. No half measures, he wanted all of her now.

That commander voice of reason within him insisted he was losing control. Somehow, his calculated persuasion had backfired, because kissing Julia, taking that kiss beyond and finishing became too important. That was unacceptable. He forced his hands to ease their hold around her.

Rustling sounded from the back seat, followed by a squawk.

Patrick.

Reality splashed over Zach like the ice-cold shower he would be taking in a few short minutes. He pulled back. What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn't been thinking at all. One kiss from Julia, and he'd forgotten about the sleeping baby in the back and the other two children inside the house liable to burst out at any moment. Not to mention an entire neighborhood full of people.

No ma'am, he hadn't been thinking of anything except Julia.

Zach rested his forehead against hers. Their ragged breaths battered the air between them. He'd made thousands of snap decisions in the air as well as on the ground and never once doubted his judgment.

Until tonight.

She'd been dead-on correct that he should have kissed her before proposing, because now he knew a marriage between them could never work. If one kiss from Julia could so shake his focus, months of her in his bed—should he be so lucky as to lure her there—would blast away any hope of control over himself, his feelings and his life.

There had to be another option. And he would find one as soon as he could breathe right again.

He pumped air into his lungs until lights sparked in front of his eyes. Lights? Zach frowned, turned, finding...

Car lights swept across him as the base security police idled into his driveway. Not just any cop, but the chief raster sergeant in charge of security sat behind the wheel.

Not good.

Zach glanced at the silent radio perched on his motorcycle and wondered what could have gone wrong if he hadn't been called. No matter what the chief had to say, it wouldn't be positive for him to have driven over.

Then he saw the huddled figure in the back seat and his mind
exploded with the worst possible scenario, one he never would have expected.

He stared through the windshield at his daughter.

Disbelief stunned him for half a second before anger ripped him, which he allowed for a satisfying three seconds then shoved it aside and stood. He wouldn't be like his father. He'd worked too long to offer his girls a childhood different from his own. No raging scenes. No alcoholic
outbursts. His girls would have as much stability as he could give them.

And still he stood in his driveway with the cops bringing his kid home.

Again that persistent anger clawed at him, anger at Pam for leaving, anger at himself for not being able to make her stay. Damned useless since that wouldn't have solved the problem in front of him. He shoved aside his own needs. His
first instinct to marry Julia had been right and he needed to stick to his course.

Control never more important, he shut down his emotions, prepping himself for whatever Shelby had to dish out this time.

Oh, God.
Julia sank into the bucket seat. She'd forgotten to tell Zach about Shelby's pierced eyebrow.

Julia stifled the hysterical urge to laugh.

A pierced eyebrow was the least of her worries, but she wouldn't wrap her mind around rational thoughts just yet thanks to a kiss that fired so hot it threatened to melt her toenail polish.

Marry me.

She pressed trembling fingers to her lips. She might want to jump the man's bones, but no way did she ever want to remarry. So she'd better dump all those feelings and focus on the mess at hand.

Stepping from the car, Julia gasped in night air, stalling by studying the nightmare-in-the-making unfolding in the Dawson driveway. The corded muscles along Zach's neck broadcast restrained anger. Shelby angled out of the back seat to stand beside a cop wearing BDUs and a blue beret.

As if that wasn't enough, a door opened across the street. Tanner Bennett trotted out of his house carrying a garbage bag. Shorn blond hair shining under his porch light, stumbled to a stop for a telling three seconds before hustling to dump the trash pronto.

The pulse in Zach's temple double-timed.

The situation threatened to explode into an argument that could permanently damage an already faltering father daughter relationship. No time to think about her own screwed-up life, she had to do something.

As Zach had said, the children came first.

Julia started toward the car. "Shelby, hon, what's going on?"

Zach's arm shot in front of Julia. "Evening, Chief." nodded to the uniformed security cop, never looking at his daughter. "Shel, go inside."

Hurt flashed beneath that pierced brow, quickly replaced by attitude. "What do you care what I do, anyway? It's just one less kid to worry about."

"Shelby Lynn," he said, his voice low and tight. "Inside. Now."

"I mean, geez, you can't even keep up with both of us. I'll bet you don't know Ivy wanted to try out for the lead in the
Nutcracker
but you wouldn't be able to drive her the extra rehearsals." Shelby strolled to a stop in front of her father until he had no choice but to look at her.

Julia saw the very minute Zach noticed Shelby's latest jewelry addition. Not that he said a word. His eyes narrowed, a tiny tic twitching. Julia couldn't help but wonder if that look of hundred-percent commander might be covering a flash of hurt very similar to the one she'd seen in Shelby.

Finally, the teen broke eye contact and spun away. She flounced toward the door in a theatrical huff, mumbling, "It's so not fair that you two are the only ones allowed to make out in public places. I mean, geez, I saw you all over each other the minute we rounded the corner." The door slammed behind her.

Zach pivoted on his boot heel to the security cop. "Evening, Chief. What do you have for me?''

"Well, Colonel..." The chief hooked his thumbs in his in belt looking like he'd rather battle a pack of renegade rebels than deal with one curfew-busting teen of a senior officer. "The sergeant patrolling the golf course found your daughter and a young fella she says is her boyfriend tucked way in a patch of pine trees. The sergeant called to check with me, given who the young lady is and all."

Zach shifted his attention to the night sky, scrubbing a land along his jaw. Julia stepped up to give him time to absorb what he'd heard.

"And John Murdoch?" Julia asked, then held her breath, praying it had been John with Shelby because heaven help them if Shelby had any more surprises for her father tonight.

'The sergeant escorted young Murdoch home. There wasn't alcohol or illegal substances involved, so there's no reason why we can't keep this a friendly visit. No need for official report."

Zach nodded. "Thank you, Chief. I appreciate your making the special trip out."

"No problem, sir. Since we're all finished here, I'll call it a night." Saluting, the uniformed cop snapped attention

Zach returned the salute. "Have a good evening, Chief."

"Good night, Colonel." He nodded to Julia. "Ma'am." He stepped back into his patrol car.

Julia stayed quiet until he pulled out of the driveway, matter how much she wanted to run hard and fast from the turmoil brought on by one incredible kiss, she couldn't walk away from Zach now. Not with those broad shoulders so tense.

At the very least, she should see him through the next few minutes. "Do you want me to go inside with you while you talk to her?"

He shook his head, jaw so tight he could have flattened nails. Did the guy ever lose control? He strode to his motorcycle and swiped the radio off the seat.

Julia stuffed her hands into her pockets to keep from stroking the trenches from his brow. "I don't mind if you think it would help."