Under Pressure (3 page)

“A
re you skipping practice?”

Elise jumped at the sound of Sophie's voice behind her. She stopped walking, hitched her backpack higher on her shoulders, and turned around to face her friend. All around them, students streamed from the big blue double doors of the school.

“No,” Elise answered quickly.

Sophie had a quizzical look on her face. “So did you forget where the locker room is?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“'Course not.” Elise rolled her eyes, fighting to keep the redness from rising in her cheeks. Actually, she had been trying to sneak away quietly. If she ran home and back at top speed, she could check the mail before her mother got home from work. The pills were supposed to arrive that day. She'd just make it back for practice if she hurried.

“I just have to … get my cleats. That's all.” She cleared her throat and forced herself to look Sophie right in the eye.

To her relief, Sophie just nodded and turned toward the locker rooms. “Want me to cover for you if you're late?”

“Yeah, that would be great!” Elise called over her shoulder, already sprinting away.

A block from school, she slowed to give her aching lungs a rest. It would not be good if her mother came home and found the box. Elise could just hear the questions now.
Elise, what are these? Supplements? For what? For soccer? Are you taking drugs? How did you get these? A credit card? And how did you get that card, young lady?
Elise shuddered and hurried up her front steps. No, that wouldn't be good at all.

A small, brown box sat in the middle of the doorstep. Relieved, Elise grabbed it up and ran inside and upstairs to her room.

She closed the door firmly. Working quickly, she slit the tape on the top. Three cardboard blister packs of big, grainy-looking pills slid out. A slip of paper fluttered to the floor. “Winners Athletic Supplements,” it read in large block letters across the top. “Take one pill per day with a glass of water. Improvements in stamina and strength should take effect within 3–4 days.”

Perfect.
Elise punched a pill through the blister pack. She held the pill in her hand, weighing it, and for a brief moment thought of the video about steroids they had watched in health class earlier in the year. The kid in the video had wanted more muscle and started injecting himself. Pretty soon he was ripped but violent and out of control, throwing chairs around the cafeteria and then sobbing on his girlfriend's shoulder as the voiceover intoned all the horrible things that steroids could do to your body.

Elise pushed that thought away. These weren't steroids. Just
supplements.
They wouldn't sell them online if they weren't safe—right?

She shoved the pill in her mouth and downed it with the glass of water by her bed. Then she stuffed all the packs under her mattress and rushed out of the room. As she thundered down the stairs and back out the door, she couldn't help thinking that she felt faster already.

T
hree to four days. Faster, stronger.
The words rang in Elise's head as she made it through the rest of the week—eating, sleeping, going for ice cream with Sophie, and running drills at practice. She didn't notice any real difference in her performance, but that was okay. Elise reminded herself that the pills weren't supposed to kick in until Thursday at the earliest. She probably had to build up the stuff in her body first. She didn't even get upset when she let a direct kick from Dayton go right past her during a scrimmage.
Just wait, everybody
, she thought to herself. The timing was perfect anyway—the game with St. Ursula was on Thursday. They were a tough school that had beaten the Copperheads the last two seasons. Becca had told them the Ursula center midfielder was playing for Stanford in the fall.

By the end of the week, the weather had turned hotter. The temperature soared to over eighty degrees by Thursday afternoon, and everyone was buzzing in the locker room about the effect of the heat on their play.

“You guys! Be sure to
drink
during timeouts!” Madison yelled to the locker room, standing on a bench.

“I've got one of these, Maddie!” Dayton called out, waving a bottle of Cheerwine soda in the air.

“Dayton, seriously…” Madison's voice was lost in the general babble as she hopped down from the bench.

Elise barely listened. She'd taken the fourth pill that morning, and her heart was pounding with anticipation. She looked around the locker room. Her teammates were pulling on shin guards and cleats. Sophie was twisting her hair into a ponytail. Madison was trying to take the soda bottle from Dayton. Everyone was the same.
Except for me
, Elise thought, and hid a secret smile.

She had been worried the pills would make her nauseated maybe or headachy, but instead, she felt fantastic—nervous but full of adrenaline. She felt stronger and faster, and she couldn't wait to get on the field. Not even the thought of the Ursula center midfielder could shake her now.

As the Copperheads burst out the locker room door, the gleaming green field seemed to stretch endlessly in front of Elise. The Ursula girls were stretching on the opposing team's side, their white and yellow uniforms stood out vividly against the impossibly blue sky.

Coach Berg blew his whistle, and the girls clustered around him for their pregame instructions. Elise was aware she was standing on the edge of the group next to Sophie, but she felt as if everything was at a curious distance. Her feet barely seemed to be touching the ground. Coach Berg's mouth was moving. He frowned seriously and raised a finger. Elise nodded along with everyone else, but all she could focus on was the strength coursing through her legs. Just like the website promised.

The girls scattered, and Elise jogged out onto the field. She took her place across from Sophie and kept herself loose by shaking out her arms and legs. In front of her, Becca, up at forward, turned around and smiled. Elise smiled back. No one had any idea of her secret.

E
lise watched the ref toss the coin in the air. It moved as if in slow motion, coming up heads. The Copperheads would kick off. Nita Ortiz, the striker, tapped the ball forward, and then made a quick pass to Dayton. The Ursula forward was on her immediately, hemming her in. Dayton feinted, trying to dribble around her. But the girl was as big as a Saint Bernard, and Elise could see that Dayton had nowhere to go.

In another second, the Ursula forward had the ball. She dribbled down the field, and Elise tensed up. The girl was coming right at her. This was her moment. Elise clenched her fists, and then the girl was on her, running the ball toward her.

Elise leapt forward like a panther. She felt none of her usual timidity. The ball loomed in her vision. She nabbed it, and before she could think further, knocked it over to Sophie, who was open up field. The forward looked around as if she couldn't figure out where the ball had gone.

“Nice, Elise!” she heard Coach Berg yell from the sidelines. He sounded surprised. Elise caught a glimpse of Dayton's startled face—which turned into a grin before Dayton raced after the ball.

Elise's heart felt as if it were going to hammer out of her chest. She leaned over, resting her hands on her legs, trying to control her breathing. It had to be the pills—they were working. She'd never done a maneuver like that in her life. No wonder Coach Berg sounded surprised.

A few minutes into the second half, it happened again. The striker was all over Sophie. Elise could see that Sophie was fighting to mark her, but she couldn't keep up. Elise looked around. Ursula's left forward, a slight blonde girl, was bearing down the field, a determined look on her face. Elise knew she only had seconds. Normally, she'd never have tried such a gutsy move, but this was the new Elise.

“Soph!” she shouted. Her friend looked over and passed the ball. Elise trapped the ball neatly with her instep and, in an instant, knocked it to Nita.

Nita dove for it as if she wasn't expecting Elise to be able to make the pass and then dribbled up the field. Coach Berg clapped. “That's right!” he shouted. Elise knew she had a huge, sloppy smile on her face, but she couldn't help it.

The rest of the game passed as if it were a dream. When the final whistle blew, it was Copperheads, 4–3. After the hand slap, Elise practically floated off the field. The rest of the team had already gathered around Coach Berg. Faces turned as Elise approached.

“Excellent play, Elise,” Coach said, still sounding slightly unbelieving. “Really aggressive. Not like your usual style.”

“Yeah,” Madison agreed. “Nice steal in the first half.”

The others nodded and murmured in agreement.

Elise took care not to grin too widely. Instead, she just shrugged. “Thanks. I ate my Wheaties this morning.”

Everyone laughed, and Elise flushed with pleasure. Then she caught Sophie giving her a considering look.

What?
Elise mouthed at her friend.

Sophie just shook her head and smiled.
Nothing
, she mouthed back.

Elise practically danced out to the parking lot after the game. She felt as though she was in one of those Disney movies where the birds start singing along with the heroine. She grabbed Sophie's hand as they walked, and Elise started skipping.

She threw herself theatrically into the front seat of Sophie's car and leaned her head back with a sigh. “I'm exhausted.” She wasn't really, though. The exhilaration was still pumping through her. The pills were everything they'd promised.

“Seriously, what are you
on
, Elise?” Sophie asked with a laugh as she steered the car through the rapidly emptying parking lot.

For a moment, Elise's heart skidded. Then she realized her friend was kidding. Her heart resumed its normal pattern as she smiled. “Oh, wouldn't you like to know,” she teased. At least, Sophie would
think
she was teasing. Sophie had no idea how close to the truth she'd come.

“Those moves were awesome,” her friend continued. She turned onto a wide, busy boulevard. “I've never seen you defend like that before. And that striker was huge.” She pulled up behind a belching dump truck that had stopped at a red light and glanced over at her friend. “You start drinking coffee or something?”

The first twinge of guilt clouded Elise's Disney world for a moment. No matter what, it wasn't fun deceiving her best friend. Elise cleared her throat. “No, nothing like that.” She made sure to keep the airy tone in her voice as Sophie pulled into Locopops. For an instant, the truth trembled on her lips. Then the vision of herself in Tar Heels blue swam up to the front of her mind. She set her mouth firmly closed and followed Sophie from the car.

T
he Copperheads had a scrimmage the following Monday. Elise scored the first goal with a spectacular header. Coach Berg even clapped. Two day later, in the game against Norcross, a notoriously tough team from the other side of Fraser, she prevented a goal after Sophie had let the ball get by her.

It's gotta be the supplements
, Elise thought to herself in her room late at night.
Like magic.
That was how she'd started thinking of them—and she was thinking of them all the time now.

In class, whenever she was feeling anxious about anything—a trig quiz, the AP American history exam—she closed her eyes and summoned up the image of those precious blister packs waiting for her in the quiet dark under her mattress. No matter what happened in school, at least, she knew what to expect on the field.

A couple of days after the Norcross game, Elise came home after school to find the door to her bedroom ajar.

Weird
, she thought. She always made sure to shut it tight every morning now. A little finger of fear touched her throat.

She pushed the door the rest of the way open, fast, and glanced around the room—the dresser draped with clothes, the unmade bed, the textbooks spread on the floor were where she'd left them last night.

Elise almost threw herself toward the mattress, falling on her knees and shoving both hands underneath it. The tip of a fingernail bent back, but the pain only registered as a twinge. She grabbed the blister packs and pulled them out.

One packet, completely gone. Each little pill pocket had been emptied. A second packet, four pills left. The third, ten pills.

There were at least twenty here!
Elise thought. Someone had been in her room. Someone knew about the pills. And someone was taking them.

Darren.
Who else could be snooping through her room? In an instant, Elise was on her feet. She flung the door open. Her brother's door down the hall was shut tight, as usual, but his backpack was by the front door. He was home.

Elise ran down the hall. Without knocking, she flung open her brother's door. Darren was lying on his bed, holding a beat-up library book about Robin Hood in front of his face. He looked up, blinking, as Elise rushed over to the bed. She'd never felt so desperate. She grabbed her brother by the shoulders.

“You've been in my room!” She pushed her face up to his. “How dare you go through my things! Those were mine! I
need
them. You can't just take things that aren't yours!”

Darren stared up at her, his big eyes like a fawn's behind his glasses. “Wh-what?” he stuttered.

“You know what I'm talking about!” Elise raged. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't help it. It was as if some stranger had taken over her body.

Darren pushed himself upright, knocking his book to the floor.

“Are you okay?” he asked timidly. “Wh-what's wrong?”

His soft little voice brought her back down to earth. Elise looked down at his face and saw that it was utterly innocent. She shook her head, and the rage cleared from her vision. Elise took a deep breath. Her hands were shaking.

“Um … yeah. I'm okay,” she muttered and stumbled into the hall, leaving her astonished brother staring after her. “Sorry.”

Back in her own room, Elise stared at the mostly empty pill packs strewn on the carpet. She sat, thinking, for a moment, then studied the calendar on the wall.
Fifty pills at two per day… times two weeks… plus an extra on game days.
Elise exhaled and picked up one of the packets from the carpet, flipping it around in her hand. She'd taken them all herself.
Why didn't I see that before? God, I'm obsessed
.

Nah
. She pushed that thought away.
Not obsessed.
It was just that the date for the scout's visit was getting so close, and she needed her pills. That was all.

Elise looked down at the pill packet in her hand. Each brown oval nestled in its own compartment. She smiled, soothed at just the sight of them. Then she punched one through the foil backing and popped it in her mouth, chasing it with a swallow of lukewarm Gatorade from the bottle by her bed.

Her cell rang, and automatically, she shoved the pills under her mattress before grabbing her phone. It was Sophie.

“I'm outside,” her friend burbled. “Let me in, you dingus! I've been ringing forever.”

“Sorry,” Elise mumbled. She didn't feel like seeing anyone right then, but she couldn't exactly tell Sophie that when her friend was standing right outside.

Elise ran down the stairs and opened the door. Sophie grinned at her and waggled a giant yellow bag.

“Funyuns!” she caroled. “Remember third grade? We ate the whole bag, and I was sick all over the floor during reading group?”

Elise followed Sophie up the stairs to her room. Her friend dropped her backpack on the floor and pulled open the Funyun bag. She stuffed a handful of the greasy onion rings into her mouth.

“What's wrong?” she asked. “You're all white and your hair's a mess.”

Elise glanced into the mirror over her dresser. Sophie was right, though Elise thought her skin was more gray than white. Sophie was right though. She didn't look her best.

“I'm, ah, you know, just stressed about trig.” She tried for a casual sigh. “As usual.”

Sophie offered her the bag. “At least it's only trig. I would've thought you'd be stressing about the UNC visit. It's only two weeks away.”

Elise's stomach did a flip, but she plucked a Funyun from the bag anyway.

“Um, no, I'm not that worried. Whatever happens, happens, right?” Nothing could have been further from the truth, but Sophie was concentrating on lining up a row of unbroken onion rings on Elise's bedspread and didn't seem to notice.

“That's true,” her friend agreed. She added another Funyun to her row. “With the way you've been playing lately, you don't have anything to worry about.”

Elise closed her eyes.

“Hey, check out this old picture of Coach Berg that Dayton forwarded me. It's hilarious—he's in high school.” Sophie leaned over the bed, balancing precariously, and reached for her backpack. Her fingers brushed the zipper. She leaned farther to drag the backpack closer and started toppling off the bed.

“Whoops!” She caught herself with one hand on the carpet, then paused. “What's that stuff?”

Elise glanced over. Her friend, hanging upside down off the bed, was staring at the corner of a pill packet sticking out from under the mattress.

Elise's heart gave a leap in her chest, but she managed, with a supreme effort, to keep her voice under control.

“Oh, that?” She laughed a little. “Um, just some random vitamins my mom keeps wanting me to try.” Elise swallowed. “I just put them under there so she'd think I took them.”

Sophie shot her a sharp glance, but Elise forced herself to gaze back at her friend placidly. Sophie laid back on a pillow, apparently convinced, and stuffed another handful of onion rings into her mouth.

Elise laid down beside her friend. She suddenly felt very tired.