Under My Thumb (Serenade Series #1) (22 page)

I leaned in and kissed it. “Do you trust me?”

“I trust you more than anyone.”

Warmth radiated through my body. I loved hearing that. “And I trust you more than anyone.” I kissed her neck again. “You never have to worry with me. I really care about you. When you hurt, I hurt.”

“I know the feeling.”

I pulled away and rubbed my nose against her
s. “And it would make me really happy if you moved in with me. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I’m not looking forward to your departure.”

Her eyes widened slightly and she looked into my face. “You aren’t?”

“No. Definitely not.”

“I’m not looking forward to it either.”

Did that mean something more, or was it just wishful thinking on my part? Would she consider staying? With me? My mind ran with ideas until I stopped them. It was going into dangerous territory. If she did stay, what would that mean for us? Could I really give her everything she deserved? A new beginning? I wanted to…but did she? If I said the wrong thing, she may just leave.

I kissed her gently. “Is that a yes?”

A beautiful smile spread across her lips. “Yes.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

♬

Prudence Clearwater

Desi and Mason
were understanding when I told them I’d be spending the last month with Cash. Their only concern was meeting for our shows and our practice sessions, but I assured them they wouldn’t be affected.

Gavin was just pissed. “You’re moving in with him? What about the rent? We rely on you.”

I knew he wasn’t angry about the rent. “I’ll still pay my share. I wouldn’t screw you over like that.”

He searched for something else. “But what about our practice sessions? We need to be together to keep the chemistry alive.”

“I’m not disappearing, Gavin. I’ll still be around all the time. I just won’t be sleeping here.”

“That’s right. Because you’re fucking him even though you don’t mean anything to him.” He paced around the room, his hands on his hips. “You’re just a whore to him. And now he pays you in rent, food, an
d rides.”

Wow. I c
ouldn’t believe he just said that to me. Desi’s eyes widened but she kept her mouth shut. Mason looked at the ground, clearly uncomfortable. I kept my anger back because I knew Gavin was struggling with the arrangement. People did and said crazy things when they were in love. I tried to keep that in mind.

“How can you be with him like this?” He finally looked at me, anger in his eyes. “You should be with someone who actually cares about you.”

“He does care about me.”

“No, he cares about what’s in between you
r legs,” he snapped.

My patience was waning. “Gavin, I appreciate your concern but I know what I’m doing. Please let it go and just be supportive.”

“How can I? Prudence, I actually love you. I’d do anything for you. I don’t just want to sleep with you. How can you possibly pick some rich, hotshot, playboy over me? I’m meant for you. Even Desi and Mason agree.”

Desi and Mason stepped back, wanting to disappear.

I was surprised they thought that, but I didn’t question them. “There is no such thing as destiny, Gavin. We make our own destiny.”

“I fucking hate Isaac.” He punched the wall then shook his hand. “This wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for him.”

He was dead on about that. “You’re right. But it doesn’t change anything.”

He gripped his hair. “Pru—”

“Just drop it.”

Gavin clenched his jaw.

“I’m an adult and I know what I’m doing. Cash doesn’t love me, but I don’t want him to. This is what I need right now. You ridicule Cash for being a jerk, but I want the arrangement just as much as he does. Stop being so one-sided. And if that makes me a whore, I really don’t care. But I care about Cash and I want to spend time with him before our trip is over. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but throwing a hissy fit won’t change anything.”

Gavin seemed to calm down. “Pru, I just care about you.”

“I know,” I said gently. “But I can take care of myself.”

Gavin held my gaze before he stormed into his bedroom. He slammed the door.

♫

Cash and I spent the following weeks together, falling into a domestic pattern. At first, I felt uncomfortable using his stuff. I refrained from cooking or watching his TV, but he was adamant about me making myself at home.

I started cooking dinner every night. When he came home from work, it was ready. If I had a show, I left his plate in the refrigerator. He usually scoffed it down before he hurried to my performance. Even though we played the same set every time, he always came. And he always brought flowers.

They decorated the house, taking up all the counter space. Every time one
arrangement died, they were replaced by a new one.

I loved sleeping with him. We had a routine every night. We’d brush our teeth together and get ready for bed in the bathroom with two sinks. We’d smile at each other while we washed our faces.

When we got into bed, we always had sex. Even when I was on my period, Cash never skipped a night. But the sex was different than it was when we first got together. It was usually gentle and slow. Cash would whisper sweet things into my ear, bringing me to that place he always did.

In the morning, I’d give him the nasty stuff he liked. I’d ride him hard before he went to work or put his cock in my mouth
to wake him up. He never lasted long, but I knew he enjoyed it.

I never lived with a guy before, but I loved spending all my time with him. I thought I’d be annoyed with his constant presence, but I never was. When he was at work all day, I was desperate for his affection. I couldn’t wait until he came home.

When our last week arrived, I started to get depressed. And that wasn’t what I expected. When I imagined moving out and getting my own place, my heart convulsed in pain. He’d get another girl to have meaningless sex with.  He’d whisper sweet nothings into her ear and make her swoon. I’d be forgotten, barely a memory.

I was madly in love with Cash, and every time I thought about it, it scared the shit out of me. This is exactly what I didn’t want. I never thought
this would happen, but he was such a wonderful man. How could I not fall for him?

Sometimes I thought he might feel the same way, but then his previous words echoed in my mind. He never wanted to be in a relationship again. And I doubt he changed his mind. Wouldn’t he have said something by now?

We were sitting on the beach in front of his house, relaxing in the sun. My hat blocked the sun from my face. I had fair skin and burned easily. And I wasn’t used to the intense rays. In London, we still had snow in March. California was completely different.

Cash lay beside me
. He wore his swim trunks but he was shirtless. I loved seeing his naked chest. It was strong like a concrete wall. I ran my fingers across the skin, feeling the warmth on the surface.

Cash wore his sunglasses, but I could tell he was looking at me.

“What are you staring at?” I said with a smile.

“A very beautiful lady.” His hand gripped mine.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

He laughed. “I tell you how gorgeous you are on a daily basis, and I get that as a compliment?”

“You know you’re the sexiest man alive. I don’t need to remind you.”

He smiled. “Sexiest man alive?”

“You know, from People magazine.”

“I really don’t.”

“They pick the top sexiest men in the world, and the hottest guy gets the number one spot. I think you’d get that.”

He rubbed his nose against mine. “I knew you liked me—somewhere down in there.”

“I wouldn’t have moved in with you if I didn’t.”

His hand moved to my hip and he touched the string of my bikini. “You look hot in this.”

“You have good taste.” He bought it for me, along with the wide wardrobe he spoiled me with.

He leaned down and kissed the skin of my hip. “You taste good.”

My fingers moved into his hair. I loved feeling the strands.

“I’m glad your friends didn’t give you any trouble for moving in with me, especially one man in particular.”

I never told him about the fit Gavin threw.

Cash studied me.
“Right?”

Damn. I wish I could lie.

“Baby?”

“Gavin wasn’t happy. He tried to persuade me to stay. And he called me a whore for being with you.”

“What?” he snapped. The anger burst in his eyes. “I’ll beat the shit out of him.”

“Don’t start,” I said. “He got over it. When we practice, he doesn’t bring it up.”

Cash still seemed angry but he held it back. “No one calls my girl a whore.”

“Well, I am.”

“No, you aren’t,” he said firmly.

“I have meaningless sex with you. And I agreed to do it for three months. B
y definition, that makes me a whore.” I waited for him to correct me, to say the sex wasn’t meaningless, that I meant something to him. My imagination ran wild as I imagined him begging me to stay. To tell me he loved me and never wanted to let me go. But reality set in. Cash was still looking at me, but none of the words I wanted to hear escaped his lips.

“You aren’t a whore,” he repeated. But that’s all he said.
Disappointment washed through me. Perhaps I was more emotional than I normally was because our time together was winding down. Every time I thought about never seeing him again, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

How could he have sex with me without a condom but it not
mean anything? Have me move in with him and spend an entire month with him? How could he come to every show with flowers in his hand? I really didn’t mean anything more to him? How was that possible? But somehow it was.

“Cash, can I ask you something?”

He stilled at my request. “Ask me anything, baby.”

“You aren’t a business investor, are you?”

Cash shook his head. “No, I’m not.”

“You lied to me.” I felt the
sting of his betrayal.

“No,” he said quickly. “I said that before we agreed on anything.”

“But you didn’t correct me later.”

“Let me explain.” He raised his hand so I wouldn’t leave. “My ex-wife used me to get to where she is in life. She knew I was an executive producer on a few shows, and she used me for all I was worth.
When we met, I was afraid you’d do the same thing to further your music career. So I lied.

“It’s hard for me to tell if a woman really wants me for me or
just for what I can do for them. So it’s a lie I feed to all the women I meet. The reason I never came clean was because I loved being with you so much. I was worried you would lose all interest in me as a man and only care about what I could do for you.” He removed his sunglasses and stared me in the eyes. “That’s all. I didn’t mean to hurt you or betray your trust.”

I already forgave
him before I even said it. After the trauma his ex put him through, I could understand why he felt that way. She humiliated him and broke his heart. Something he didn’t deserve. But I forgave him for another reason. Because I loved him. “It’s okay. I understand.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“But I’m hurt you’d think I do anything like that. We’ve spent every day together for three months. I think it’s pretty clear that I don’t want anything from you.”

“I know…”

“And you’re a TV producer. That has nothing to do with music.”

“I still know people.”

“Cash, I would never expect you to stick out your neck for me. If I land a record deal, it’ll be because I worked for it. I don’t need your help—or anyone’s help.” Even though he told me how amazing I was at every show, I wondered if he meant any of it.

“Now I feel like a jackass.”

“It’s okay…you’ve been hurt.”

He kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you for understanding.”

“What kind of shows do you work on?”

“The Tonight Show
with Jay Leno.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s a big show. Everyone has seen it. If not, they’ve heard of it.”

“How did you get into that?”

“My dad. He was in the film industry his entire career. I followed in his footsteps.”

“Is that why you’re so wealthy?”

He nodded. “Unfortunately, I didn’t work for it in the beginning. But now I do.”

“That’s cool. You’re lucky you get to pursue your passion and make a living out of it.
A good living. I’ll never be able to pay rent as a musician. But a girl can dream.”

He stared at my face. “I know you’ll be discovered by the right person.”

I highly doubted that but I kept my pessimism to myself. I didn’t want him to do any favors for me, especially if he felt guilted into doing them.