Under My Skin (6 page)

“You lost him around the same time I lost Lanie,” Elijah observed.

“Huh,” I said. “Just putting that together now because I’m super smart. I mean, I knew it, but it didn’t seem significant. But seeing as I was supposed to hook up with Lanie and help her and help you and get rid of…maybe Justin has a hand in this.”

I’d switched to pretty much talking to myself, but I could see Elijah listening intently. I shook my head. “Never mind. The point is, she asked me to let her…in.”

I found his eyes with mine, trying to gauge reaction. “And you did?”

“I did.”

He turned my hand over in his, studying the lines on my palm as if secrets might be found there. “Why did you do that? It seems very risky.”

“Because she wants to be with you when you…” I sighed.

“For the end?” he asked, almost smiling.

“Yes. She thinks it’s soon.” I said nothing, but I thought it was too. The other energy I was picking up from him was one of increased weakness and decreased fight. He was done. He was tired. “What are you doing for—”

“Just palliative measures,” he said, shrugging. Elijah released my hand. “I stopped with all the chemicals and experimental drugs ages ago. It’s exhausting trying to live. Come on, Juliet,” he said, pulling me up. “Let me make you that food, and you can let Lanie speak to me. If that’s possible.”

I leaned over to kiss him. “It’s possible.”

He glanced at me sideways. “So you let her in your body and then let her…you know…with me. But what about you?”

“Not to freak you out, big boy,” I tried to sound amused and nonchalant, “but I was totally on board with that. Lanie enjoyed it, but so did her vessel.”

He blushed six shades of red, and that made me laugh. I could see why Lanie loved him so. He was a good man, inside and out.

“Food,” he said gruffly and pulled me along.

* * * *

“Tell me again.”

I forked up a piece of shrimp salad and rolled my eyes. “You’re a really good cook,” I said. “And shrimp salad for lunch. Decadent.”

“I go for decadent as much as possible right now. You do know what they say, you can’t take it with you. Both of my parents are dead, no siblings, no real family I keep in touch with. My sole survivor would have been Lanie.”

“You know that ’s ghost killed her right?” I asked, flying blind.

He sighed. “I had dreams right after. I had flashes of what felt like seeing her death. Where she was walking and something tangled in her ankles, tripping her. Something that wasn’t there. But I figured it was my imagination. Now…” He waved a hand. “Now, go on.”

I ate another bite, chewed thoughtfully. “She came to me in dreams at first. She made her worries and intentions clear. Told me how she felt. All in abbreviation of course, and I chose to let her in. Partly because I felt she deserved it—partly I felt you did. Part of it was a rush of hornets coming at me and ready to sting me until I died under command of an evil entity, and I couldn’t bear to—”

“Leave her there,” he said. He covered my hand with his, and my hand grew warm. Along with the rest of me.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“How long do you think you have?” I asked. I didn’t mean to, it just fell out of my mouth. When I let myself feel the curve and dip of his energy it felt like days maybe. But I wondered how he felt.

“Not long,” he said.

I expected him to look angry or sad or something. Instead he smiled and squeezed my hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m ready. I’m tired, and I’m world weary. And if you tell me that I get to go out with you by my side, and the love of my life near me, too, then…well, what the hell do I have to complain about?”

My throat grew tight. I nodded, trying to blink away tears that didn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things. Because the tears were
mine
, not Lanie's.

“Now why are you crying?” he asked, stroking my hair. “Because of Lanie in there?”

I shook my head, and tears rolled down my cheeks. “No,” I managed, though my throat felt so tight. Tight enough that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “They’re my tears. I think just because—” A sob tore out of me, cut off my words.

“Because what?” He hooked a finger below my chin and tilted my head a bit so I had to look at him.

“Because this world needs
more
souls like you, not less.”

He kissed my forehead.

Another sob ripped out of me with the words, “May I take a shower?” riding on them.

“Sure,” he laughed. “Through my bedroom is the private bathroom. Or you can use the one in the hall. There are towels under the sink in both rooms.

I nodded. I went with his room, it made me feel safer. I grabbed a big heavy navy blue towel and turned the shower on as hot as I could. My skin erupted in goose bumps before calming under the heated water. I washed my hair slowly, trying to calm the waves of sadness and anxiety. It simply didn’t seem fair.

It’s not...
Lanie echoed in my head. And then she asked me for something I’d never done. She asked me to step aside. Just for the night.

Chapter Eight

I’d never done it. I’d never let a spirit hop onboard for longer than a few minutes. But again, something seated in my soul guided me to do it. So I decided to give it a shot. Stepping aside would be like putting myself to sleep to let the spirit become dominant. No awareness—or very little—is maintained during that time. Only one fellow medium I know of had ever done it, and she’d been relieved when it was over. But she’d not been doing it for so noble a cause. I trusted Lanie and Elijah, and apparently I trusted them enough to put my life and awareness in their hands.

I finished my shower and towel dried my hair. I pulled on little drawstring pants and a lightweight black sweater. I sat on his bed and ran my hands over the bedding for a few minutes, the smooth cotton soothing my racing heart. It was a leap of faith, and I’d already made up my mind, but nerves are nerves. They need to run their course.

“You okay?” he asked from the doorway.

“Fine. Just…” I took a deep breath, blew it out to show him. “Finding my Zen.”

Elijah smiled. “I have to do that on a daily basis,” he confessed.

I patted the bed, and he came to sit next to me. “I want you to know, I was utterly okay with having her in me. I want you to know…I think you are amazing. And kind. You have a good soul. I can see it and feel it when I’m close to you. But most importantly, I want you to know that I enjoyed the um…sex,” I laughed, blushing, “just as much as you. Just as much as Lanie.”

“You sound like you’re going somewhere,” he said. “I thought you guys were going to party with me on my way out.” He grinned to show he was joking about the partying.

“I’m not going anywhere. Physically.” I touched his leg, his arm, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him once. “I’m just stepping back,” I said.

And then I did. I surrendered to her like a woman falling backward off a diving board into a deep, cool pool. I caught the flicker of recognition on his face when her voice spoke through me and the joy in his eyes at hearing her. And then I was gone, asleep, under in a muddy sea of nothingness while they had their night.

* * * *

I was thrashing. My body tumbling and turning, painful impacts rattled my neck and shoulders and back. hovered at the top of the ancient basement steps. His murky eyes intense, his grim face almost joyful. He watched me fall and whispered, “Four…”

My fate if I didn’t eradicate him from my home. My life. This world.

My body jolted and tension flooded me until I felt the soft bedding under the backs of my legs, the backs of my arms.

Buttery light penetrated my eyelids, and I rolled to my side. The bed was welcoming, the sheets tangled around my ankles. My body hummed with a pleasant soreness now that I’d pulled from my dream. I had been used and used well. Just knowing that ignited a fire in my belly for more. I had missed it, so to speak, so feeling the aftermath of sex aroused me. I ran my fingers through my hair and found it, at the back where it was the thickest, still damp. I’d taken another shower while I ‘slept’.

“Your house is clean,” he said, pushing his lips to my shoulder.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Al’s done,” he said, laughing softly.

“No hornets?”

“No hornets.”

“Ah, but the potential for hornets, or bees, or wasps, or dive-bombing butterflies remains as long as is in the house.” I reached out with my eyes closed to touch him, blindly finding a warm broad chest.

Elijah took my hand. “Do you remember—”

“Not a damn thing,” I said to put his mind at ease. “Though my body does feel like it had a rollicking good time.”

“It was nice,” he said. His heartbeat was slow and steady under my hand, but when I let my energy brush against his, I could feel his own essence had waned a bit. “But weird.”

“Weird as in awkward or weird as in whips and chains and potato chip dip?” I let my fingers drag across his warm skin. It was soothing.

Elijah laughed. “It was your body, and I often felt guilty. Like we were—”

“Wipe that thought out. I was one hundred and ten percent at peace with it, mister. No worries. I said yes, and I took a lovely nap. But…” Sweep-sweep-sweep went my fingers on his skin.

“But?”

“I admit I feel a bit envious.”

In me, Lanie stirred, moving softly inside me. I turned on my side and let my finger, guided by her, slide up his firm thigh. We had all suffered a loss, it had been ages for me and to feel that comforting close spark with a person was a thrill. A gift. And Lanie knew. She was sharing my skin, walking in my body, and now giving into my desires on my behalf.

I smiled at him as he dragged his fingers softly across my cheekbone, pulling bits of sleep tousled hair from my face. I found his cock with my hand, ready and hard, and squeezed gently so his eyelids drifted shut and his mouth went from soft and smiling to a taut line. I dragged my thumb across the tip of him, wetting his glans with that small bit of pre-come. His skin was like velvet and steel. When I looked up, he was watching me with those gorgeous eyes. He looked serious and aroused. “Seriously aroused,” I said aloud, chuckling.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Me too,” I sighed and went into his arms when he held them out.

This time I was present. I was completely there. I moved on top of him, his big hands pushing up against mine. Flexing my thighs to his sides, I took control, doing all the moving and all the work. It was because I sensed the wane in his energy. I sensed the lull in his strength. I tried not to focus on it as I slid down his cock slowly, filling myself at my own speed with his girth. I took it slow to make us both crazy and when he groaned with frustration, I laughed and plunged down on him. A shared gasp sounded as I moved over him and he under me. I pushed my awareness of his dimming strength far away as I put my forehead down to press to his, moving my hips just so. His fingers clutched at the flare of my thighs, holding me as I rocked from side to side to get the sensations I so desperately needed. Inside of me, Lanie aided me in pushing my awareness of his frailty away. She felt it too, and we both chose not to acknowledge it at that moment. This was about pleasure and connection. It was about the soft cries that flew from my lips. And the deep groan that escaped him, and his big arms around my body as we rode out the last of the flickers of pleasure.

He kissed me and brushed my hair back. His big brown eyes found mine, and he stared me down. I don’t know what made me think he didn’t know, wasn’t aware of his own body’s signals. “I don’t have much time. Maybe not even all of today. I feel…hollow, if that makes sense.” He cupped my face in his hands and said very softy, “Not from that. That made me feel alive. As odd and surreal as this whole thing is, I feel very lucky. To have her here for my exit, to have met you before I go…”

I swallowed hard against the emotions lodged in my throat. For once in my life I kept my big mouth shut.

“I feel hollow in the respect that I feel like my soul is already half out of my body. Does that make sense?”

I nodded. It was. He was right, and his ability to pinpoint it was impressive.

“And I feel better than I have in weeks.” He chuckled darkly. “Which I know can be the kiss of death, so to speak, to patients like me. How many times have you heard, ‘he suddenly took a turn for the better, he was doing so good’ and then they keel over,” he said.

I nodded again. He’d nailed it once more.

“So I need to ask you something.”

“What?” I kissed his jaw and laid my body flat along his. Lanie soaked up the warmth of his humanity and presence too. My thighs pressed his thighs, my belly to his, my chest to his so I could feel the lazy beat of his heart.

“What do we do—the three of us—to get rid of ? Between the three of us, a dead girl, a dying man and a psychic medium, we should be able to ditch this fucker.”

I grinned. “Well, let’s ask Lanie. She’s been with him more than anyone. She might have some tips.”

I pulled back a bit, let her float up to the surface, and the three of us had a powwow over ridding the world of Chadwick Montgomery forever.

Chapter Nine

It’s odd how you can feel a shift like that. Come evening, I had curled myself around a peaceful Elijah who had started to have trouble breathing. I asked him about ten times if he was sure he wanted to just let it go, let it be. I asked if he wanted me to call the EMTs or take him to the hospital. He told me, gently but firmly, that he’d had enough of medical intervention. That he could feel it all slipping away this last week and that he’d said his goodbyes. That he was simply glad for the last few days with me and Lanie. That he was honored he could save me from mahogany wasps and amazed that she’d come to usher him out.

I’d cried, softly so maybe he wouldn’t hear. But he did. Then I laid my head on his chest and listened to the resounding thump of his heartbeat. My eyes alternately leaking my tears and Lanie’s.

The shift came before dawn. That subtle vacuum feel that even lay people can sense when a soul vacates a body. When a person goes from alive and present to an empty vessel.