Under Locke (68 page)

Which was how we ended up halfway to Dade county with Dex hogging the steering wheel and being an all-knowing jerk.

"I'm fine," I answered, resting my back into the corner of the truck's seat and door.
“
You're sure you're not too tired to drive?"

He flicked those blue eyes over, his mouth flat. "I'm ready to get outta here."

In ten hours. "Okay," I told him with a shrug.

Dex let out a long deep breath, reaching across the console to grip my thigh. "Wanna get this shit over with, Ritz."

I'd tried my best not to worry about this mess over the course of the last few hours. Going to bed after crying all over Dex had been distracting, and I'd managed to fall asleep pretty quickly but that hadn't meant that I'd been in the clear. I'd woken up at least four times over the night, sweating, nervous, battling nightmare after nightmare of what had happened at the shop. Two out of those times, I'd looked over my shoulder to find Dex wide awake, too.

Whether he'd been asleep or if I'd tossed and turned and made enough noises to wake him up, I didn't know for sure. I didn't ask either. I had slipped my fingers close to his once, and he'd rubbed my back until I fell asleep again the second time. Chances were, he'd probably slept less than me.

And I could only imagine what his own thoughts had been.

Because I knew what I'd been thinking of when I gave myself the chance to. What if...

What if my dad didn't have the money?

We were driving out to Florida to find him, but what then? What would we do if he only had ten bucks to his name?

The reality of it was...I'd make him figure it out. The possibilities were endless, and my ruthlessness was as well. I sure as heck wasn't going back to Austin until this crap was resolved. When I accepted the possibility that he was broke, I thought of Blake passed out and bleeding on Pins' floor. And that's what kept me going. But...

I would always be a worry-wart at heart.

"What do you think the chances are that he has any money?" I asked Dex without even thinking about it.

The sigh he responded with wasn't exactly reassuring. "Pretty slim more than likely, babe."

Not what I wanted to hear. "What should I do if that's the case?"

"We'll figure it out," he said putting emphasis on the first word. "Depends on the situation."

Well. While that wasn’t exactly reassuring, at least I could mentally prepare myself for the truth. I wondered if we dragged Curt Taylor back, whether the gang would call it even. Or maybe…
"Know anyone in the black market? I'm sure he could live without a kidney, gallbladder, or lung if he needs to," I said, scared to investigate whether or not I was serious. Something told me I was.

Dex chuckled, squeezing my thigh. "Like the way you think, Ritz."

"You think that makes me a bad person? That I'm not completely opposed to doing something extreme to get this mess straightened out?" It suddenly worried me how nonchalant I was being about the whole thing. Could I really let my dad do something like that? I didn't feel guilty. Not in the least.

"No." He paused for a moment, clearing his throat.
“You can’t expect to care about somebody that hasn’t cared about you, babe. It’s only natural. Doesn’t help that he’s a fuckin’ moron on top of bein’ a piece of shit. I think you’ve wasted enough of yourself on him.”

I didn’t say anything as I thought over his words. Because he was right. Every time the old man made an appearance, he was like a harbinger of doom. The man was a human wrecking ball with no regard for others. And it was about time that I let him go completely. “You’re right.”

“Sure am,” Dex agreed with a small snort.

I groaned and leaned back into the seat, trying to relax. To ease myself out of this unholy grip that strained my emotions. “After he sells a few organs, maybe I can finally have a nice, normal life.”

Dex shot me a long side glance, his mouth twitching.
"Baby, I don't know what you think normal is but you're gonna have a nice, safe life as soon as we get him. All right? You can bet on it." His tone was low, gravelly. He was mad, mad for me—in my honor, and my insides recognized it and thrived on his emotion.

I nodded. "All I want is just to not worry about things for a while." For as long as I could remember it'd been my health, my mom, my health again,
yia-yia
, raising Will, bills, my lack of employment, and now all of this. I'd skipped the part where some people went to school and focused on that. Where kids got to be kids instead of having to sit through radiation treatments and funeral services.

I wasn't complaining. I wouldn't. But... something so little wasn't much to ask for, right?

"Right now, I'd give my left bicep for my only worry to be whether or not to tell you that I ordered the wrong ink." I sighed.

He groaned, a smile cracking one side of his cheek and mouth. "Shit like that's under appreciated, ain't it?" he asked, letting his fingers drift a little higher up my thigh.

"Everyone takes things for granted, little things, big things
—everything
."

Dex made a humming noise of
agreement.
"I learned my lesson in jail. You have any idea
h
ow much I missed my smokes when I was locked up? Drivin' around? Takin' a fuckin' shower without worryin' about gettin' jumped?"

And if by 'jumped' he meant...

Not going there. No, siree. Especially not when I was pretty positive he was trying to connect with me and not scar me for life.

"Learned some patience in there, so I guess I shouldn't complain."

And...it was a miracle I wasn't drinking, otherwise I would
ha
ve spit liquid all over the dash. "You?
Patient?
"

Dex huffed. "Yeah."

Cue my snort. A snort that ripped the serious silence we'd wrapped ourselves in. "I don't even want to know what you were like before twenty-five if you think you can say the 'p' word with a straight face."

The sideways look he gave me was a guilty one. He'd definitely been a huge pain in the ass in his younger days. D-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.

I put up both my hands in praise. "Thank heavens I met you as an old man." I winked at him.

~ * ~ *

Weird.

Driving through the part of town I'd grown up in was just plain...weird. Strange. I'd driven down these streets a million times throughout my life. The very last time had been three months ago when I had accepted the fact that my unemployed butt was out of options—I was going to have to move in with Sonny since I'd been so adamant about not going with Lanie to Ohio. Driving to the cemetery where Mom and yia-yia were buried had been my official goodbye. At that time, I hadn't thought I'd ever make it back to Florida. What would be the point? I had no ties left there besides memories that were as good as they were bad.

Yet, here I was, in a vehicle with a man I woul
d ha
ve never been capable of fabricating even in my dreams. In a place where I shoul
d ha
ve felt at home, but didn't any longer.

"This is all too weird," I whispered as we passed the convenience store I used to always pump gas at.

He watched me wearily. After the last half a million hours in the car, of which he drove all, I couldn't blame him for being darn near exhausted. I hadn't napped either but adrenaline and nerves had kept me going. My dad was here somewhere. Some seedy little place with the words Motor Inn at the end.

But we'd agreed to get some sleep before going hunting for the cause of all the recent hell.

"You all right?" he asked in a rough, tired voice.

"Yeah." We passed by the daycare I'd worked at immediately after finishing my last round of radiation. God, this place depressed me. "This is all just messing with my head. I should be excited to be here, but I'm not. I just want to go back to Austin."

Dex nodded severely. "Nothin' wrong with that, babe. Kinda
relieved
I'm not gonna have to drag you back home with me."

I narrowed my eyes. "Drag me?"

"
Y
eah. Drag you
.
" He huffed. "You ain't stayin' here even if you wan
ted
." Dex paused and glanced over in my direction, those dark blue orbs intent. "I lived in Dallas and I missed Austin every day, even if I didn't miss all the Club bullshit and drama. Don't wanna give you a reason to miss this dump."

This wasn't a dump but I wasn't going to argue that point with him. I knew what he was trying to do. Talk me out of any residual love I had for Tamarac and Ft. Lauderdale. The sneaky son of a gun.

I couldn't help but laugh more to myself than
at
him. I'd let him slide, so instead I focused in on what he said about the Widows. "Dex? Why are you even in the club if you don't really care about it? I mean, I know you do all their accounting crap and other stuff with them but I don't think you really...how can I say this? Enjoy being in it, I guess?"

He lifted a hand and
tapped
his fingers over his lips in a thoughtful gesture. "Tradition, babe. I'm a legacy. And by the time I got out of county, Lu had already cleaned shit up. Half the Widows were gone, and..." he paused and dropped his hand. His lips pursed in what I'd later on figure was a disbelieving and possibly embarrassed gesture. "Luther had been the only one to offer to help me out once I got back from Dallas, so I kinda owed it to him, ya know?"

There it was. That fierce loyalty. He didn't have a clue how that was the most attractive thing about him. It trumped his face, his ink, his body, everything. Dex Locke was true. He was grounded.

And, I really was in love with him.

“He signed Pins’ first lease and loaned me the money without even thinkin’ about it. Nobody else even offered besides Blake helpin’ with the shop’s license. I help out the Club mainly because of Lu.”

“That was really nice of him.”

“He’s the best man I’ve ever known. Most people don’t see all the good in him because he’s so serious, you know. But Lu’s got his shit together and most of the time, he knows what he’s talkin’ about. Can’t help but listen to him when he says somethin’.
Keep your shop separate from the club. Keep your nose clean. Lock that sweet girl down before you regret that shit.
So I pay attention. ”

I couldn’t help but grin to myself when he touched the side of my thigh with his last statement. I reached out to touch the side of his thigh in return. The corner of his mouth tipped up at the contact.

"As long as he
’s in, I’m in.
I like mindin' my own business and he gets that. I'm there when I'm there, and they got enough members to do whatever else I don't wanna. Works out all right every way around."

Even imagining someone trying to get him to do something that he didn't want to, seemed ridiculous. Preposterous. And that thought made me smile. He was who he was and you either accepted it or not.

And then I dropped the smile as soon as I thought of how much of a dick he'd been when we'd first met, any thought of loving him temporarily slipp
ed
away.

Well, I guess it wasn't always so cute, but we'd gotten past that and I wouldn't bring it up.

Knowing he'd lose his mind if I unbuckled my seatbelt, I kissed my fingertips and reached over to press them to his cheek, grinning like a moron because Dex would be amused with the gesture. He didn't let me down, a goofy half grin covered his mouth. "You're one of the best people I know."