Under His Wings (19 page)

Her mouth, swollen from his kisses, her teeth biting down
into the sensual bottom curve, lifted in a small, sated smile. Her thick, dark
lashes lowered and her hooded gaze stoked the passion and lust that still raged
in his gut and cock.

With her eyes on him, he brought his fingers to his lips and
pushed them in his mouth. He sucked her juice clean and groaned, again savoring
her taste. Desire flashed bright in her tawny eyes and his cock jerked.

Her smile widened. “Now that’s just naughty. And damn sexy.”

He chuckled, amazed he could manage it with lust strangling
both his throat and dick. Slowly he drew his fingers free and painted her
nipples with the dampness. Tamar moaned, undulated beneath his touch. She was
so responsive, so uninhibited, held nothing back from him.

And still he craved more—more than she’d given anyone else.
Even more than she’d given him.

“Roll over,” he murmured. Without hesitation she complied,
rising on her hands and knees. “No.” He leaned over her, his chest grazing her
back, and clasped her wrists. Gently, he guided her until her arms were folded
in front of her, her forehead pressed to them and her shoulders lowered. The
position lifted her ass higher in the air, exposing her vulnerable, plump sex.

Shifting closer, he clutched her hip with one hand and slid
the other between her legs and her creamy, glistening slit. Tamar whimpered
then moaned long and low. His fingers circled and lightly pinched her clit
before returning to her sex. He dipped into the tight passage of her pussy,
drawing forth even more of her moisture, coating his fingers.

Heart pounding, his chest rising and falling on rapid hoarse
breaths, Nicolai released her hip and firmly gripped one rounded cheek,
spreading her ass open to expose the tiny, puckered hole hidden there. Tamar
stiffened seconds before he placed his lubricated fingers to the entrance and
traced it, caressed it.

“Nico,” she said, hesitant, uncertain. Her ass tightened,
flexed.

“Shhh…” he soothed, needing her to relax, to trust him.
Inside, his hippogryph clawed and snarled to possess, to forge this intimate
bond that would forever connect them. “Relax for me,” he urged, even as he
acclimated her to the forbidden touch by continuing to circle the securely
closed hole. “I want your ass, Tamar,” he whispered. “Give it to me,
sweetheart.”

A shudder, whether from desire or anxiety, trembled through
her, but she remained still. Love so full, so overwhelming flooded him that he
paused for a moment. The power she had over him should have scared him.
Instead, it strengthened him.

Once more he soaked his fingers in her cream before
returning to her ass. He stroked the entrance that resembled a tightly furled
rosebud once, twice, then pushed forward, watching it bloom around his finger.
The ring of muscles resisted then gave and his fingertip entered the smooth channel.

Beneath him, Tamar’s shivers increased and she cried out.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” he said, freeing his grip on her ass
to stroke a calming caress up her arching spine. “Breathe in and push out.
Yeah, that’s it,” he praised as she obeyed his instructions. “Oh fuck, yes.” He
groaned as her tight, virgin ass squeezed his finger in a clasp that threatened
to cut off his blood flow. His cock throbbed, needing that same touch.

Slowly, he worked the digit deeper into the slick passage.
As much as it killed him, he took his time, stopping and allowing her to adjust
to the unfamiliar penetration. It wasn’t long before her hips were backing into
his short, shallow thrusts. His gut clenched and a pulse of seed spurted from
his cock head as he watched Tamar fucking her ass on his finger.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered and, bending forward,
snaked his arm around her waist and circled her clit. Her scream delighted his
ears and soul more than the most perfect melody. It strummed the strings of his
heart, dragged a mating song from his spirit that belonged only to her—to them.

Pulling back, he ignored her wail of denial and, seizing his
cock, arrowed his aching flesh toward her pussy. He thrust forward, burying
himself in one stroke. She mewled beneath him and bucked wildly, filled by both
his cock and finger.

A sharp, avian screech was ripped from him. Her pussy, so
wet and hot, clutched him. Her ass, glass smooth and snug, gripped his finger.
He was consumed by Tamar even as he possessed her. Rational thought gave way to
lust and love. The animal overtook the man and his control splintered. He
couldn’t hold back the primal roar that originated in his soul and rolled out
of his throat.

Adding another finger, he pumped into her ass, stretching
and filling the channel. Her cries melded into one long wail of pleasure. His
cock plunged into her pussy, riding her with complete abandon as he lost
himself in the lust that tormented them both.

It hit with the force of a battering ram. The orgasm nailed
him, blasting from his balls, sizzling up his cock to explode in thick
heart-stopping jets of seed over and over. Her ecstatic cries reached him as
electricity licked up his spine, across his shoulder blades and burst free,
bringing his wings with it.

How long they lingered in that place of ecstasy, he didn’t
know. It seemed to last forever, but damn, not long enough. When Tamar stirred
beneath him, he wanted to reach out, grab her, tell her to wait. Tell her that
reality with its ugly truths would invade their haven soon enough.

But he couldn’t put it off. Her life was literally at stake.

He levered himself off her prone boneless body, easing his
cock out of her pussy and his fingers from her ass. She emitted a tiny whimper
but remained still. Her breathing evened, deepened.

Sucking in an audible breath, Nicolai shifted next to her,
his hip brushing her bent elbow.

“Tamar.” He brushed the tangled, glorious spirals from her
cheek and gazed at her lovely face, loose with pleasure. Damn, he hated to take
that expression and replace it with fear, anger…hate. “Tamar.”

“Hmmm…” Slowly, she lifted her lashes and looked up at him,
eyes cloudy with sated passion.

“I have something to tell you.”

Chapter Ten

Tamar stood at the bedroom window, peering into a pearly sky
dabbed with streaks of pink and orange. The sun crept over the mountains,
spilling its light over the land. This range had remained the same for eons,
unchanging, constant.

In contrast, her world had just flipped on its axis, hit
reverse and become a strange wilderness that had left her confused and scared.

Nicolai’s words flew through her mind on fast forward,
speeding by until they became a blur—mate, transformation, changing, death.

She lifted her hands to her head and gripped it as if she
could stabilize this crazy ride her life had turned into.

If what Nicolai told her was true, her life had just boiled
down to two options.

Option A. Refuse to accept this mating bond and die a
horrible, painful death.

Option B. Accept the mating and die spiritually.

Both sucked. On the surface, being torn into pieces would
seem to suck a wee bit more then turning into a supernatural beast. But one
death would be quick—albeit agonizing—while the other would be drawn out and,
in the end, just as painful.

She loved Nicolai…she couldn’t deny her feelings for him.
But she was scared. So scared it leached the warmth from her skin. Her fear
reached soul deep where the root of her worry and panic huddled in a shivering
ball.

To accept him meant losing herself—her humanity, her
independence, her home, her job. Depending on another man again for her
comfort, well-being and existence… She shuddered, rubbed her palms over her
bare arms. The idea terrified the shit out of her. Where would it leave her?
What
would it leave her? Not human. Not secure.

Not Tamar.

Nicolai had called her brave, but she didn’t know if she was
that courageous.

“I know I’ve hit you with a lot and I’m sorry,” Nicolai
murmured from where he sat on the edge of the mattress. She turned and her
heart lurched. With his head lowered, his elbows perched on his thighs and his
hands hanging between his legs, dejection emanated from him. He blamed himself.
She heard it in his explanation, in the number of times he apologized for
placing her in danger.

Part of her wanted to cross the room, gather him close and
hold him. But she remained by the window, unable to force her feet to move and
alleviate the guilt he wore like an albatross around his neck.

“How long do I have?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. Raising his head, he met her gaze
without flinching. The sharp angles and lines of his face were harsher, grim
and could have been carved from the mountains that surrounded them. “It could
be hours or days. Bastien thinks the change will come soon given the intensity
and frequency of your…episodes.”

She nodded, but inside she screamed like a banshee.

“Tamar, Evander admitted to me that his brother was innocent
of the crimes I killed him for,” he said. “Evander was the rogue all along, but
I mistakenly took out his twin.”

Shock rolled over her as he rose to his feet, closed the
distance between them.
Damn
.
She stared at him, horrified on his
behalf. She wanted to reach out to him, sweep a hand over his cheek and whisper
he wasn’t to blame. She desired nothing more than to burrow against him, siphon
some of his warmth and strength even as she offered him solace in her arms. But
he maintained the couple of inches that separated them, didn’t reach out to
touch her. And she didn’t try to bridge the space either.

“That’s something I’ll have to carry as a burden on my
conscience and soul for the rest of my life. And I won’t add your freedom to
that burden. I won’t trap or imprison you in some gilded cage. But I want you
to live.” He closed his eyes and a muscle flexed along his jaw. After a long,
weighty pause, Nicolai lifted his lashes and his amethyst eyes peered into hers
again. “Accept me, Tamar. Accept me and I’ll walk away from you when it’s over.
I’ll let you go.”

God, how that sacrifice cut to the bone.

“How nice of you,” she said dully. Swallowing back the sob
of despair and outrage lodged in her throat, she crossed her arms and turned
back to the window.

Apparently there was an Option C she hadn’t considered. A
choice that sucked worse than losing her identity or her life.

Surrendering her heart and soul to a male who bound himself
to her out of responsibility, not love.

Nicolai was willing to bind himself to her for the rest of
his life—however long that might be—all out of duty and guilt. Once more she
would be an unwanted responsibility, an inconvenient liability. Kyle had turned
vicious and mean when he’d realized he was saddled with her. She knew in her
heart Nicolai would continue to protect and provide for her, and never hurt
her.

But if she was going to sacrifice everything, she wanted to be
his mate, not his chore.

She closed her eyes, sank her teeth into her bottom lip and
willed the tears not to fall as long as he remained in the room.

* * * * *

Hours later, Tamar walked the same forest she and Nicolai
had roamed a couple of days earlier. The sun had risen to its zenith and like
that magical afternoon, the golden beams infiltrated the thick canopy of leaves
and turned the woods into a quiet fairies’ glen. She shook her head, emitting a
slight snort. Up until a few days ago, she would have considered that thought
whimsical. Now she might have to search the trees for the mythical figures.

The difference a week makes.

She blew out a long, heavy sigh. When she’d left the cabin
and headed into the woods, she’d sought peace and space to reflect on the early
morning discussion between her and Nicolai.

Especially his oh-so-chivalrous offer to walk away from her.

From the start of this entire mess, she’d prepared herself
for the day Nicolai would leave her life as quickly as he’d entered it.

But that had been before their dreams had kicked off a chain
reaction of mating, bonding and irreversible transformation…before she’d become
a candidate for Professor X’s school for mutants.

Nicolai’s proposition to let her go should have comforted
her. Instead it had reached inside her and raked razor-sharp nails over a heart
that already bled.

His offer hadn’t been made out of love—it had come from a
sense of responsibility, guilt and duty.

That’s something I’ll have to carry as a burden on my
conscience and soul for the rest of my life. And I won’t add your freedom to
that burden. I won’t trap or imprison you in some gilded cage.

Just as he felt responsible for Evander’s brother’s death,
he also accepted accountability for her predicament. So much, he was willing to
step down from his role as
Dimios
and bind himself to her for the rest
of his existence in an act of penance. Had he even considered that? If he mated
her, he could no longer protect the people he loved.

Tamar drew to a stop, tilted her head back on her shoulders
and wrapped her arms around herself.

It wasn’t enough. Her experience with Kyle had taught her
that. Duty wasn’t enough. She wanted—needed—love.

She craved
Nicolai’s
love.
And to quote the
immortal words of Shakespeare, therein lies the rub.

She wanted him to love her for herself. Wanted him to need
to save her because he couldn’t imagine existing without her. After everything
she’d lived through—her father’s abandonment, her mother’s decades-long torch
for a man who would never return, Kyle’s abuse and betrayal—the thought of
happily ever after and eternal fidelity should’ve made her laugh then gag in
disgust.

But she believed in fairy tales, hippogryphs,
loup-garous
and…she believed in love.

Did it make her selfish to want her prince to battle the
dragon and rescue her for no other reason than love?

Yes.

Yes, it did.

Because if she denounced the mating, if she walked away from
Nicolai and chose her fantasies of love over him, her death would be another
burden for him to bear, another stain on his soul. Because she loved him with
every fiber of her being, she couldn’t consign him to that hell.

She loosened her arms and they fell to her sides. Her body
remained motionless even as she teetered on the edge of a great precipice.

On one side stretched the normal, steady, familiar life she
had known and desired for three years.

On the other yawned a wide, obsidian chasm. In its unknown
depths lay a future with Nicolai, scary, unfamiliar and uncertain.

Tamar inhaled. Closed her eyes. And stepped out into the
abyss.

A sensation like the downy touch of wings enfolded her,
keeping her afloat, keeping her safe. Nothing was guaranteed. Not tomorrow, not
the life she’d yearned for. And the bottom line came down to this—she’d rather
have a future where she woke up to Nicolai every morning, touched him, made
love to him, than the ordinary, mapped-out existence she had always envisioned
as the ideal.

Nicolai had proven over and over during the last few days
that he placed her safety and protection above all else—even his life. He cared
for her, definitely wanted her. Maybe one day, he would love her.

Damn it, she was willing to take a chance on him.

On them.

Love jimmied her heart open wide enough for hope to sneak
in. With a smile, she wheeled around and headed back in the direction of the
cabin.

Fuck Kyle. Fuck Fate. And fuck normal.

She’d convinced herself she’d fought these past three years
for a safe, average existence when she’d been fighting to hide from what life
had to offer. If she never risked trusting or loving another person, she
wouldn’t end up in another horrible relationship. Fear had become her safety
net…and her jailer.

Well damn it, she was instigating a prison break.

“This seems almost too easy. I’m a bit disappointed.”

The low melodious voice reached her seconds before she
spotted him among the trees. Tall, lean and as gorgeous as he’d been that night
outside the restaurant. And as evil.

Evander stepped from the cover of the trees, his malevolent
form a profane blot on the golden, innocent forest. She wouldn’t have been
surprised to see the grass shrivel and blacken under his feet as he moved
closer.

Her heart kicked hard against the wall of her chest, a
frantic, anxious animal that smelled evil’s foul stench and fought to escape
its presence.

“Evander,” she said, shocked and pleased her voice was
steady instead of shaking like her insides.

He tilted his dark head to the side and a smile, beautiful
and horrible, curved his sensual lips. “I see my reputation precedes me,” he
drawled, gliding another foot closer. Tamar retreated and his onyx eyes
glittered, appearing amused by her aversion. “Then again it’s not like this is
the first time we’ve met, is it, Tamar? Even though I was regrettably
sidetracked in our initial meeting. We didn’t get to spend nearly the amount of
time I looked forward to having with you.”

Anger spiked through her at his casual reference to Resa’s
murder. He had so little regard for the bright light he’d snuffed out with one
pounce of his massive body. The bastard.

“A pity I can’t say the same. Personally, I was grateful for
Nico’s timely interruption.”

His chuckle crawled over her skin like a thousand spiders.
“Nico, is it?” Another disturbing laugh. “Oh this is going to be so sweet.” He
inched closer. “Did you know he was so careless in his haste to get back to you
last night he led me right to you? Your death will destroy him.” His voice
dropped the smooth, urbane tone and in his growl she heard the creature that
lay beneath the olive skin and beautiful features. “I’m going to enjoy killing
you.”

Her nightmare played out before her in 3-D.

In the blink of an eye, the man disappeared and the
terrifying gray-and-black beast that had killed Resa and terrorized her
crouched on the leaf-strewn floor of the forest. The same cold black eyes
gleamed above his curved beak, promising all kinds of agony before her death.

Her heart leaped to her throat and lodged there. She lifted
a hand to her neck, her fingers fluttering uselessly as if she could somehow
squeeze a breath out of the blocked passage.
Get away. Move.
The
desperate thought penetrated her horror-induced paralysis. Her knees unlocked
and she shuffled back a step.

At the small movement, his huge wings flapped wide, spanning
the width of the path, their tips touching the trees that lined the trail.

Trapped.

Deep inside her, a curious stirring quickened. It awakened
and, as if sensing the danger, lunged and snapped. Her breath exploded from her
lungs and she locked her arms around her torso as her body bucked. Like a wild
animal, she darted her gaze back and forth, searching for a possible escape
route.

The trees. If she made it to the trees, his hippogryph
wouldn’t be able to maneuver among the dense forest. He would be forced to
change back into a man. While that most likely wouldn’t save her, it gave her a
fighting chance.

Survival instinct kicked in and she bolted for the thicket
on her left.

She’d barely run three steps before Evander materialized in
front of her, cutting off her path. The hippogryph stared down at her,
motionless, as if goading her to make another move.

She took up the dare.

Wheeling around, she darted for the opposite side, but just
as her sneakered toe hit the edge of the woods he reappeared, his bulk blocking
her escape.

Her chest rose and fell on rapid, panicked pants as she
back-pedaled several steps. Evander didn’t follow but remained still, watching
her.

Son of a bitch. He’s toying with me.

He was playing with her before he would kill her and leave
her body for Nicolai to find.