Under His Skin (34 page)

She wanted to, but she couldn’t.

“I can’t face him like this,” she said finally. “All he’s ever seen from me is selfishness. I have to show him that I’m not that person anymore.”

She pushed herself off the floor. Nu watched her with a wary expression on his tiny face.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to make sure all the
skinwalkers
got their skins back.”

“Ana, wait. That could be dangerous. They may not be as forgiving as Brec.”

Ana smiled at the concern in the pixie’s voice.
It was nice to have someone who cared.

“They won’t know me. I took their skins when they weren’t around and without their skins their senses couldn’t have been sharp enough to recognize my scent. I could walk up and shake their hands and they wouldn’t know I had anything to do with their skins’ disappearances.”

 
She unwound her skin from her wrist, holding it against her chest like a child as she walked to the front door. The icy wind bit the bare flesh of her face as she stepped onto her porch and closed the door behind her. Smiling into the cold, she wrapped her fur around her waist. A rush of warmth swallowed her as warm white fur slid over her skin, encasing her in the form of a fox. Invigorated by her plan and the faint flickering hope of a bright future, she dove off the porch, and raced across the snow.

As she ran, Ana thought back over the different furs she had stolen. Guilt bit at her as she imagined the faces of her victims. She didn’t fight the guilt or try to bury it. The time for denying the consequences of her actions was past and now she was going to make amends.

The seal-skins she’d stolen wouldn’t be a
problem,
Brec should have been able to return those easily. The rough one would be the brown bear. An image of the big man floated in her mind’s eye, just a product of her imagination since she’d never seen him. He had been the first of her victims.

Six months ago she’d been wandering through one of the wilder parts of
Alaska
, a heavily forested area just north of Haines. Part of her had gone out there hoping to meet a wild animal that would put an end to her suffering. Instead, she’d found a large brown fur, tucked in the branches of a tree.

She could still remember the way her hands had trembled when she’d pulled the thick skin down from the branches, her heart nearly exploding out of her chest as she waited to see if the noise had alerted the skin’s owner. The sounds of someone coming had frightened her, allowed her to move with almost superhuman speed as she escaped back to her snowmobile with her heavy load. He’d never seen her, but she’d heard his roar of pain when he’d discovered his skin missing. That sound had haunted her sleep for weeks and had been partly to blame for her decision to stop returning the furs.

That sound echoed in her ears again, pushing her to run faster. She ran for miles, each one zipping by with a speed that seemed insane to her after being human for two years. It felt wonderful to fly over the snow, leaping over fallen logs and piles of dried up
twigs,
darting through trees with a grace she’d thought she’d forgotten. She got so caught up in the pure joy of running in her fox form that she didn’t notice right away that the roar echoing in her memory wasn’t a memory anymore.

Ana stopped dead in her tracks, her heart seizing in her chest as a booming roar seemed to shake the branches of the trees over her head. She raised her nose in the air, tentatively sniffing to see what waited for her ahead. She froze.
Selkie
.
A few deep breaths confirmed her suspicions and her heart leapt into her throat.
Brec?
Was Brec out here with the
medved
?

Images of a giant with a booming voice holding Brec in a vice-like grip flared to life in her mind. She imagined Brec trying to return the man’s fur only to be blamed for its theft. She almost choked on her fear. What if he hurt Brec? What if he killed him?

What have I done?
Leaping into action, she resumed her race over the snow, praying she wasn’t too late. Less than a mile ahead of where she’d stopped, she heard that booming voice again.

“Get back or I’ll blow her head off!”

The deep baritone echoed into the forest, sending birds of all sizes scattering to the winds. Ana’s heart pounded and she
crept
forward, keeping low to the ground so as not to be seen. When she reached the top of a small rise, a feeling of dread fell like a weight over her body.

Three men hid behind various trees just outside the
medved’s
cabin. Each of them held a long narrow gun, a rifle she guessed. They had them trained on the cabin. The scents riding the frigid February air told Ana the three gunmen were selkies.

“No one has to get hurt here,” one of the selkies yelled. “Just let her go.”

“I want to know who stole my skin!” a deep voice bellowed from inside the cabin. “Give me a name or this one dies!”

Ana tensed as her gaze riveted to the door of the cabin.
She couldn’t see anyone, but the selkie had said “her.” It wasn’t Brec being held hostage. The thought was cold comfort. Ana knew that regardless of who the
medved
was holding, whatever happened to her would be on Ana’s head. Her throat constricted with panic. It was
her the
bear wanted.

The selkies shifted, each of their faces growing
more grim
as the seconds ticked by. The selkie that seemed to be the leader was tall and stocky. There was something about him that seemed familiar. He resembled Brec, though he was bulkier and didn’t have the same graceful air. Ana paused to wonder if they were related, a slightly-hysterical attempt to distract herself from what she knew she had to do. The selkie leader gestured for the other two to circle around the house. He raised his rifle.

“You have your skin back.” His voice remained calm, but loud enough for the man inside to hear. “Whoever took it doesn’t have it anymore. The name is irrelevant.”

“It is not irrelevant to me. I will not feel safe until I feel their blood on my hands and watch their life fade from their eyes.” The
medved’s
voice rose to a near hysterical pitch. “I will have my security back!”

Ana stepped forward, a certain peace rising from deep inside her to fill her entire being. The entire world faded, growing fuzzy around the edges. Warm energy wove through her muscles and with every step she took she grew a little calmer. She knew what she had to do. There was no sense dwelling on fear. She’d put herself first for far too long.

The lead selkie glanced over at her, but didn’t react to what he had no reason to believe was anything more than a fox. Ana slipped her skin off, stepping out of the fur like a child coming out of the womb. The chill Alaskan wind howled in triumph as it attacked her exposed face. Gripping her skin in her fist, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep the worst of the cold from stealing the warmth from her body. Trying to speak past the sudden lump of fear in her throat, she stood facing the cabin, ignoring the look of shock on the selkie’s face.

“I’m here,” she
called,
her voice surprisingly calm and even. “I took your skin.”

The door to the cabin flew back and splintered against the wall. A hulking man stood in the doorway, careful to stay behind the small female he held in front of him like a shield. The petite brunette’s eyes were wide as saucers, her fear almost palpable on the wind. His hand tightened around her arm and she cried out, staring at Ana like a life line. His other hand held a rifle.

“You?” the giant man growled. “It was you?”

The hostage’s panic gave Ana strength. She had to be strong, had to stand up and admit what she’d done. She couldn’t let this woman she didn’t even know pay for her crime. Forcing herself to stand straight, Ana nodded. “It’s my blood you want, not hers. Let her go.”

“Are you insane? You’re giving him another
victim,
get your ass over here now!”

Ana flinched at the lead selkie’s incredulous voice and furious command.
She yearned to do as he said. She stood in the open, with nothing to protect her from the looming consequences of her actions. Despite her grandiose decision to trade her life for the female selkie’s, she was scared. An image of Brec, his palm bleeding from where she’d cut him, sprang to her mind and she steeled herself against her fear. She was going to do this. She had so much to atone for.

“Let her go and take me instead,” she said loudly, proud that her voice only shook a little.

The
medved
shook his head, anger shining brightly in his eyes. Ana ran her gaze over the huge rug of a coat that hung down his back where he had it draped over his shoulder. Brec had calmed right before her eyes once he had his skin back. It was the natural reaction of a
skinwalker
to feel secure when draped in their animal skin. Shame bit into her nerves. Brec had only missed his skin for twenty-four hours. The
medved
had been without his for six months. The lump in her throat swelled as she wondered how much of his sanity had survived his skin’s absence.

The
medved
shifted in the doorway, his eyes seeming to grow larger and wider the longer he stared at her. “Tell me why you did it,” he demanded. “I want to hear your excuse before I kill you.”

Icy fear frosted down her spine. She fought to stand as tall as she could,
meeting
the bear’s eyes with as much strength as she could muster.

“Weakness,” she said softly.

“I can’t hear you!”

“Weakness,” she blurted out louder. Swallowing hard, she stepped closer. “I took your skin because mine was taken from me and I was too weak to cope with the loss.”

“I’m not blind, I saw you change form,” the brown bear seethed his golden eyes flashing. “You’re not a
skinwalker
, you’re a werefox. I know the difference. What sort of a fool do you take me for?”

“My skin was returned to me by someone who worked a miracle.” Tears crystallized in her eyes and she rubbed them away before they could freeze. When her hand came away from her face, her teeth began to chatter. Her fear seemed to combine with the cold to make her entire body shiver and soon she stood trembling before her enraged victim.

“You speak nothing but nonsense!” the bear screamed. “Start making sense or I swear I’ll paint my porch with her brains before I come after you!”

Her bravado nearly spent, Ana had to fight just to keep her knees from giving out. She stood there in the wind and snow, staring at a man who would very likely bring about her death. The selkies around the building stared at her like she’d lost her mind, their gazes flickering between her and the man holding one of their kin. The
medved’s
hand holding the rifle shook. He was losing patience, if not sanity. She didn’t have much time.

With one last rush of adrenaline, Ana held up the strip of her skin that she’d been clutching to her chest. Her soul wailed in protest, begging her to take it back, to hold her skin to her and never let it go. The full strength of the cold gnawed at her bones, seeming to penetrate her human skin and clothing like they were nothing. She held the fur out to the bear.

“Take it,” she forced through chattering teeth. “I took your skin six months ago and now I offer you mine. Let my misery pay the price for her life.”

The bear stared at her, shock, slackening his jaw. Whether or not he believed that the piece of skin she was offering was really her fur, she didn’t know. The concept of a
skinwalker
willingly surrendering her fur was unheard of. Suddenly he released the selkie woman’s arm. She ran sobbing into the arms of one of the selkies. Ana stood there, her entire body trembling violently with fear and cold.

“Ana!”

The lead selkie’s voice rang out, but neither Ana nor the
medved
looked at him. Without looking around, Ana began to shuffle toward the cabin.

“Ana, stop! Brec told me what
happened,
you don’t have to do this!”

The sound of Brec’s name turned her head. Ana stared at the selkie who would had spoken and the part of her brain that hadn’t yet frozen had a moment to realize just how like Brec he looked.

“If you know Brec,” she called out, her teeth clacking together painfully. “Tell him I’m sorry and I’m very
very
grateful.”