Under His Command (Six-Alarm Sexy) (20 page)

He couldn’t be dead. Not like this. Her hands dropped to the ground and she pressed her forehead to the cold sand. She’d thought she’d come to terms with his job after the earthquake. She really had. But it had been different that night. She’d been involved in the rescue, not left alone and waiting, desperate to know what was happening.

If he were dead, she’d feel it deep in her heart, wouldn’t she? Jamie was her soul mate, she understood that now. Finally. Pushing to her feet, she checked the boy to make sure he was secure, then headed for the fire. If Jamie were injured or trapped, she’d find him and help.

A shadow rose out of the dark, massive and oddly shaped.

“Jamie?” she asked, a tremble in her voice.

“R-rickie?” He coughed and started again. “You okay?”

“Yes! I thought you were hurt or trapped or—” She pressed her lips together to keep from admitting what she’d really thought.

Jamie carried what she now realized was the driver over to the lit area and lay him on the ground beside the boy.

“Da?” the child asked, reaching to touch the man’s shoulder.

“Shh,” Jamie murmured. “Your daddy’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”

When he moved away and turned back to her, she launched herself into his arms. Tears poured down her cheeks uncontrollably. Her need to hold him, to hear his heartbeat, and to feel his warmth was basic. Almost primal. She couldn’t get close enough to him, couldn’t hold him tightly enough.

After a moment, Jamie loosened his embrace and raised his head. “You thought I was dead.” The sound of his voice, raw with emotion, tore something inside her, and she realized not all the tears were her own. His eyes were bright glittery pools as his gaze pierced hers. His breath caught and he crushed her against his chest and buried his face in her neck. “When I saw how far the debris was falling, I-I…” He trailed off, his breath hot on her skin as he gripped her even more tightly. “I’m never letting you go.”

Erica’s heart skipped a beat, echoing painfully in her chest. Jamie had thought she’d been injured. Or dead. Both their minds had immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. Yet, he’d kept his head and managed to rescue the boy’s father. A sob shuddered through her, and she breathed deeply to keep from breaking down.

A strong odor stung her nose. She pulled back with a grimace. “What’s that awful smell? It’s like roasting flesh.”

Jamie dropped his arms from her waist and shrugged. “The car hit a couple wild pigs. That’s what made the driver spin off the road. The fire must have reached their carcasses.”

She pressed a hand to her stomach, sickened at the thought of the poor animals cooking in the car fire. Jamie lifted a hand to wipe the sweat and soot that was dripping into his eyes.

Her eyes zeroed in on his arm. The sleeve of his shirt was charred and his skin was a black bloody mess. Blisters swelled through the layer of soot.
The smell of burning flesh was coming from him
. All the blood drained from her head as a scream built in her throat and clawed its way out. “Jamie, you’re injured!”

Catching her around the waist, Jamie said, “Rickie, I’m fine. I told you I’d be fine and I am.”

Unable to speak, she simply held onto him and stared numbly at his burned arm until the squawk of sirens signaled the arrival of the police and fire department. The firefighters quickly put out the smoking vehicle while a police officer took Jamie’s and Erica’s statements. All the while, Jamie kept his good arm around her waist. Even injured, his first concern was for her. The thought made her heart ache.

The paramedics bundled the driver and his son into the ambulance. “Sir, you need to have that burn treated,” one of them said to Jamie when he went to unlock the Mustang.

Jamie shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Let a doctor assess it.” Erica took the keys from him. “I’ll drive.”

She followed the ambulance and squad car, retracing their earlier path along Kamehameha Highway to Wahiawa General Hospital. Erica was beginning to wonder if this day would ever end. At the same time, she didn’t want it to, because she had no idea what would happen once they returned to the cottage.

An hour later, she paced outside the emergency room doors while the doctors treated Jamie, as well as the driver and his son. Earlier, a nurse had offered her some tea, but Erica’s stomach was such a knotted mess, she wasn’t sure she could keep anything down.

Would she feel this way every time Jamie was injured? Every time he went to work?

Like a garrote, panic choked her, leaving her gasping for air. If she didn’t calm down, she’d have a full-blown attack. Her throat ached with the need to scream. Her fingers strained with the need to hit. She wanted to throw herself on the ground kicking and crying like Chloe used to do sometimes. Instead, she inhaled deeply, filling her lungs, holding, then expelling her breath until the emotions receded, until she regained control. She had to be strong, for her husband and for her daughter. She didn’t even know how serious Jamie’s injuries were. Silently, she prayed that they were minor, that they wouldn’t keep him from the job he loved. But in that secret place in her heart, she admitted, if only to herself, that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he had to find a different job. One that was safer. One where she didn’t have to worry every day.

No
!

Jamie would hate her if he knew she’d even thought such a horrible thing.

The emergency room doors opened and out sauntered her husband, a crisp white bandage on one arm and a pretty young nurse on the other. The nurse’s eyes sparkled and her face flushed with admiration and… desire. Erica had seen it happen over and over. And she couldn’t blame the woman. Jamie had that effect on everyone with two X-chromosomes, as well as on some without. People reacted to heroes, and Jamie was one tonight. He’d saved two lives and spared another from widowhood. The little boy’s mother had hugged her son and husband tonight. And she’d been able to do that because of Jamie’s bravery.

Spotting her, Jamie said something to the nurse, then walked over. He stopped in front of her and his smile faded. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice and eyes filled with concern.

Gah! Why was she so weak? She pressed her lips together and skimmed her fingers over the bandage. Following her gaze, Jamie sighed. “It’s just a second-degree burn.”

Her stomach turned as she remembered. “Don’t minimize this. It smelled horrible, like your flesh was charred.”

“That was the hair, honey. It’s just like a super bad sunburn.”

“Can we go now? I’m sure you’re ready for a shower, some clean clothes, and a beer.”

He grinned. “Fucking A. And not necessarily in that order.”

After some discussion, he agreed to let her drive. Since Jamie was always a little nervous when she was at the wheel, the miles passed in silence. She concentrated on keeping her emotions in check. She’d be a regular Florence Nightingale and take care of her husband for a change. She needed to get him cleaned up and fed. With any luck, Jamie had some pain relievers in that backpack he’d lugged around all day. He’d need some before the adrenaline left his system and the pain from the burn set in.

Back at the resort, she found a plastic bag and covered the bandage. Then she washed the soot and sand from his warrior’s body while he relaxed in the tub. She couldn’t recall Jamie ever letting her do this. They’d taken some exciting showers together, but this was different. She ran her soapy hands over his broad shoulders, his ridged abs, and his powerful quads. Jamie’s entire body was laid out for her touching pleasure. He seemed to be enjoying it too, if his growing erection was any indication.

He waggled his brows and pointed at his groin. “Want to hop on?”

Laughing, she tickled his side. “Don’t you need any recovery time?”

“Not with you, babe.”

“I guess I’ll have to be the adult tonight. You need to get in bed.”

“Now you’re talking.”

“You are the worst patient, Jamie.”

The water splashed as he rose and climbed out of the bath. She dried him with a fluffy hotel towel, enjoying the fact that his erection never wavered. They’d have to do this again when he was healed. When she could join him in the tub and soap them both up.

After helping him into a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, she handed him three tablets of ibuprofen and a glass of water. Much to her relief, he swallowed them without argument. When she removed the bag from his wrist, Jamie picked his shorts up and pulled a tube out of his pocket. “The doc gave me this ointment to put on it. I’ll be good as new by the time we get back home.”

Home. The word hit her like a plank. In a few days, they’d be going back to Seattle, back to the real world, back to nonstop pressures and distractions. Jamie would return to the station where he’d face potentially life-threatening situations on a daily basis. And she’d go back to worrying about him every minute that he was on the job.

Could she go through that again?

The ache in her chest made her gasp. She wobbled and Jamie caught her, sitting her on the bed. “Rickie? Tell me what’s going on.” He held her in his arms, rubbing slow circles on her back. Sobs burst through her clenched teeth, and she surrendered to a tidal wave of mixed emotions.

“Just hold me, please. Hold me for a little while.”

They stretched out on the bed and Jamie pressed his chest against her back, his thighs tucked against her bottom, solid and reassuring. His arm around her waist held her in place and with his lips on her ear, he whispered, “I’m right here, babe. It’s okay. I’m right here.”

She squeezed her lids closed, desperate to stop the fresh wave of tears brought on by his words. Her husband was a true hero. But was she cut out to be a hero’s wife?

Chapter 9

The first light of dawn pouring in through the window above the bed roused Erica from a fitful sleep. Her eyes popped open and her heart raced until she got her bearings. Hawaii. The cottage. Jamie spooning her. She warmed, feeling his arm still pressing her against his chest. As he’d promised her when she’d cried: he was there. He was always there for her.

She shifted to move her arm that had gone numb during the night. The movement brought her bottom into firm contact with his groin. It twitched against her and began to swell. Should she slip under the covers and give her husband a good morning treat? He deserved it after coddling her all night.

As she began to shimmy down, her gaze landed on his bandaged arm and memories of the explosion came crashing back to her in a paralyzing cascade. She must have made a distressed sound because Jamie’s arm tightened around her. When he woke up, he’d want to talk about what had happened and why she was so upset. But what could she say? If she lied and pretended that everything was okay, she’d ruin all the trust they’d so painstakingly built up between them this week. If she told him the truth, they’d be at a stalemate, unable to move forward with their relationship.

Behind her, Jamie shifted and his arm grew heavier on her hip as he relaxed into a deeper sleep. Careful not to disturb him, she slipped out of the bed, grabbed her phone, and walked out onto the lanai.

Although the temperature was already high, the breeze from the ocean was cool. The sky was a kaleidoscope of pinks, oranges, and reds as the sun climbed out of the water. Oahu had to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. But after yesterday’s sunrise vow renewal, every sunrise would pale in comparison, unless Jamie was by her side. She had little hope of that unless she fixed the mess they were in.

Stretching out on one of the chairs, she considered her options again. Neither one appealed to her. Maybe she needed a second opinion. And she knew just who to ask. Before she could chicken out, she dialed Dani’s number and, with her heart in her mouth, waited for the woman to answer. It didn’t take long. “Erica? Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Hon, it’s six in the morning in Oahu. People on their honeymoon are supposed to be so exhausted from their… uh… nocturnal exertions that they sleep half the day. At least that’s what I’ve heard.”

Erica chuckled, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Last night was tiring all right. But not for the reason you think. Jamie was injured.”

“What? Is he in the hospital? Do you need me to fly out there?”

“No. He’s fine.” Erica mentally kicked herself. She should have anticipated Dani’s reaction to the news and broken it to her more smoothly. Dani’s loyalty to Jamie was legendary. Erica spoke with a lightness she didn’t feel. “You know what a hero he is. He pulled a man and a young child out of an overturned car seconds before it exploded. His arm was burned during the rescue.”

“Fuck. Is it bad? Will he need surgery?”

“No, nothing like that. The doctor gave him some ointment to put on it and said he’d be better in a few days.”

“That’s good.” She let out a long breath. “So if everything’s hunky-dory, why do you sound like you just lost your best friend?”

“Because I think I might have.”

“Erica, what’s going on?”

A lump formed in her throat and the backs of her eyes burned. Squeezing her lids shut, she breathed deeply several times. She was
not
going to cry again. After a moment, she felt steady enough to get to the real reason she’d called Dani. “When the car exploded, I thought…” The lump became a boulder, preventing her from speaking.

“You thought Jamie was dead.”

“For a moment, I wanted to die too. I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.”

“You were scared, hon. It’s normal.”

“It was more than that. I got a glimpse of how my mother must have felt when my father was killed.” She straightened her shoulders and stared at the waves rolling onto the surf. “I wanted to die, and I barely had a thought for my daughter, for what would happen to her if she lost both her parents. What kind of mother does that?”

“A terrified one. Listen, Erica. You’re not like that. I bet you shook it off, then charged over to the fire to help Jamie.”

Erica shifted in her seat and ordered herself to voice to the ugly truth festering in her chest. “I told Jamie I could accept the risks of him being a firefighter. But after last night and the way it made me feel, I don’t know that I can go through the agony of not knowing day after day without becoming… less.” More like her mother with each passing week.