Under Ground (28 page)

“Make sure your safety is always
on except in time of action. These weapons are dangerous, and you
don’t want to shoot yourself or an ally by mistake. Make sure you
know when it’s on and when it’s off. Having the safety on in action
could cost you your life.”

I nod and practice taking the
safety on and off. When I understand how the gun works, I point the
barrel at the target and hold myself the same way Chase did. I
shoot. The bullet completely misses its goal and lodges itself in
the wall. Chi approaches me from behind and helps me position
myself better. His chest is to my back and his hands are tight
around my lower arms, guiding me.

“Look through the sight and focus.
Also, take into consideration the shock that will push your hands
backward.”

I try and fail again. The weapon
in my hands feels foreign and deadly. I don't feel in control of
it. The training goes on for over an hour, at which point I’m
finally scoring though I'm not even close to hitting the bull's-eye
yet.

Taylor tells us to stop; it’s time
for a break. We have thirty minutes for a snack. After that, we
need to get back here and resume practice. Because we're dealing
with guns, Taylor is adamant about our being on time. Anyone who’s
late won’t get to come in and won’t go to Camp 19.

I follow Chi to our place after
picking up some food. We sit on the dusty armchairs facing the
fireplace. I open a can of fruit.

“So, what’s Taylor’s story? Why
did he join the Underground?” I had meant to ask for a while, but
everything happened so fast that I didn't get a chance to do
so.

"Have you ever heard of Karen
Jones?" Chi asks.

"Isn't she the one who helped pass
the Deviance Act?" I always found it strange that a woman was
involved in politics at all. Such a thing is unheard of.

"No, Thia. Karen died before the
law was put in place. She was one of the scapegoats. She was
Taylor's sister. He became part of the Underground because of her
death," Chi replies.

My eyes widen and Chi continues,
"Back then, Taylor's sister was promised to some guy, but she met
someone else—another girl. One day, her fiancé caught them together
and had her arrested. The authorities didn’t even put her on trial.
They just shot her. That's when they decided to create a law giving
them the right to execute all gay people on sight.”

I look at him, stunned. “What
happened to the guy?”

“Taylor never told me, and I never
asked. Some things are best left in the dark.”

“How did he get his job at the
news station? How come the authorities trust him?”

“He had to suck up to them and
prove his loyalty. The authorities used his sister's image for
their propaganda. After she died, Taylor had to condemn her actions
and help support the Deviance Act. It’s still eating him up today,
you know—all the horrible things he was forced to say about her.
But what Taylor did was the only way to keep his job as a
journalist while becoming part of the Underground. After a while,
he proved to be such a big asset to the Underground that he was put
in charge of the rebels in this area. He had to do terrible things
to keep his position in the media too, but he never talks about
that. Kayla told me never to raise the topic with him."

“What’s his main goal? If his
sister isn’t in a camp, why does he want to go there?” I
ask.

“Taylor hates the system and what
it represents. His main goal is to expose what’s going on. Then he
hopes to dismantle our society and change it
completely.”

"How old is he?" I ask.

"Twenty-six," Chi
replies.

"And Kayla?"

"Kayla's twenty-two and Chase
twenty-five."

I nod and eat the rest of my lunch
in silence. When I'm done, I ask something that has been bothering
me for quite some time. "What about the Wilcoxes? Do you think
they're okay?"

Chi sends me one quick glance
before answering, "They joined another group. They knew what I was
about to do when I came for you, so they were long gone by the time
the officers broke down their door."

"But didn't they mind? I mean,
their whole life has changed forever."

"They haven't had a life since
Jordan died, Thia. They only cared about taking care of me while I
needed it. Now they've found a new purpose—helping the Underground
fulltime."

We keep on talking, and when Chi
is done eating, we go back upstairs for more training. We arrive
five minutes early because I've taken Taylor’s warning seriously.
Everyone arrives on time. Maybe this was a small test of faith on
Taylor’s part, to see who truly wanted to come along to rescue the
prisoners.

Practice goes on for two more
hours. By the end of it, I can finally shoot close to the middle.
However, Chi warns me that a target in motion is harder to hit than
a still one and I’ll have to take that into consideration. I’m not
sure it truly matters because I'm not comfortable with guns anyway.
I’ve already made up my mind that I won’t use this weapon if I can
help it.

***

The next day, we
learn about
self-defense.
I’m
facing Chase. I’m at a disadvantage since he's a lot taller and
stronger than I am. He has trained for years; I don’t stand a
chance. But Taylor thinks it’s essential to face bigger opponents
and be ready for any alternative.

The first couple of hours exhaust
me, and I hit the floor face-first so often that I’m starting to
give up. But Chase tells me to avoid him as much as possible
instead of trying to fight him. After that, I try to dodge him, but
he’s too fast. He knocks me down over and over again. I get better,
but I'm still dissatisfied with my performance.

Chi sends me an encouraging smile.
"I can't beat Chase either, Thia. You're doing great, I
swear."

The rest of the week includes more
training, strength-building, general fitness, and running. I get so
worn out that my body hurts all over, but the practice did help.
Chi now looks a lot better, too. Though he’s still bruised, he can
finally walk normally and his face is no longer swollen.

Chapter 31

At the end of
the week,
I ask Chi if we can have dinner together at our
place. It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with the others; I
just want to spend as much time with him alone as possible. He
understands perfectly and seems to feel the same way.

We bring our meal along with us
and say goodnight to the others. Dinner is quiet, pleasant, and
peaceful. I observe Chi as he eats, and when he catches me looking,
he winks at me. I feel safe here with him, and I wish it could be
like this forever. I wish our parents were safe. I wish things were
easy and that we didn’t have to face so much trouble.

When we’re done with dinner, I put
the dishes in the sink, squeeze some soap out of the bottle, and
use a sponge to clean them off. Chi joins me, pressing his chest
against my back.

"Let me help you," he whispers as
his hands join mine.

His fingers rub against my skin as
he reaches for a plate, and I inhale sharply. His arms are around
me, locking me against him, and my heart quickens. His face nestles
against my neck as his lips find the spot that always sends shivers
throughout my body. He kisses me while his hands focus on the task
in the sink. The mood suddenly changes from a simple domestic chore
to something else entirely. I freeze and try to control myself when
his tongue strokes the area right behind my earlobe. A desperate
whimper escapes my throat, and I can feel his self-satisfied smile
spread against my skin.

"Thia." My name comes out like a
groan rising from his chest. I lean into him, but he returns his
attention to the dishes. My heart deflates in disappointment as he
withdraws from me.

He rinses the dishes and we dry
our hands, but not before he splashes me playfully and I giggle. I
find my way under his right arm and attempt to escape, but he grabs
my wrist. He shakes his head at me, draws me to him, and kisses me.
He backs me against the fridge, his lips never leaving mine. When
he pulls back, his eyes travel my body as he props his hands on
both sides of my head.

"You're so beautiful!" His fingers
brush a strand of my hair away from my neck, and when he buries
himself under my curls, his lips meet my throat and my knees buckle
from underneath me.

"Your hair is always so wild; it
drives me crazy."

My entire body sizzles when he
says it. I'd give everything I have to seize this moment and remain
like this forever, everything around us superfluous. He pulls away
and stares at me so I can't avoid the devouring hunger in his eyes.
His irises have turned amber, shining with a vibrant color I've
never seen before.

He takes a step back, grabs my
hand, and leads me to the couch, our dishes forgotten on the
counter. He sits down and pulls me to his chest. We snuggle and Chi
traces the line of my jaw with his lips, his touch shooting shivers
through my body. His mouth finds my skin over and over again, and
it takes all I have not to let myself be submerged by him. Chi cups
my face with his hands, pulls my forehead to his lips, and kisses
the skin between my eyes. His mouth is soft and moist, leaving a
wet spot where he touched me. I inhale his scent, familiar and
reassuring.

“I love you,” he
whispers.

No one has ever said those words
to me in such a pure, unconditional way. His love inflates my heart
as joy bubbles inside my chest. But the years I’ve spent longing
for my parents' attention have left a scar. I’m scared of any
potential rejection. I fear that revealing my feelings for him will
leave me vulnerable, always worried that my love might one day no
longer be returned.

I look at Chi. His eyes are
inquisitive. I kiss him on the lips, softly at first. He pulls me
closer, with his arms locked around me like steel, and our kiss
deepens. His mouth tastes like spearmint, making my head
spin.

Chi takes me in his arms, scoops
me up, and carries me to the bedroom. There, he lays me down on the
bed gently. He’s on top of me in seconds, pulling me to him as I
wrap my legs around his lower back. He's urgent and I give in
instantly. A surge of love emerges from within as I catch his eyes.
The feeling crushes my chest, leaving me breathless. He looks up
and down my body and sends me a sultry glance filled with heat that
scorches every spot his gaze touches. Deep longing overtakes me.
I’m burning hot, scorched by him, my heart hammering, my breath
short. I want him so much that my chest heaves under the growing
need.

Chi pushes my hair back with his
long fingers as he cradles my neck and works his way from my throat
up to my ear. Chills of pleasure run up and down my spine when he
breathes against me. I can’t stop the sighs escaping my mouth as
his lips find my earlobe, his teeth teasing exquisitely. I feel
safe and warm. The world no longer exists. It’s all about him. It
has always been all about him.

He kisses the curve of my neck
before pulling the side of my shirt down my shoulder, exposing my
skin as his lips reach my collarbone. He marks his way down
gradually, his mouth now kissing me over my clothes while his hands
find their way underneath. His fingertips graze the skin under my
shirt, branding me with his touch. He pulls my shirt higher up,
revealing my stomach, and he runs his tongue along my hipbones,
setting the entire area on fire, right there above the rim of my
pants. His eyes catch mine as he does it too, daring me to stop
him, his desire flaming right through the amber of his irises on
fire as he pulls my shirt over my head. He takes his time to admire
the view, too. One second, two, three. I wrap my arms over my chest
to hide as much of my bra as possible, and his eyes shine
mischievously as he grins and lowers himself down to trail a path
over my stomach, his mouth stopping short of my belly button.
Chills tingle up and down my spine, and a moan escapes my mouth
before I can suppress it.

My body is longing, but my mind is
wild with fear. Suddenly, my heart races, my nerves give in, and
panic takes over. I want to push him back. I need him off of me,
now. I squirm underneath Chi, my legs kicking in spite of me. I’m
stricken with fear as thoughts of William flood my mind: William
pushing me on the bed in a brutish way; William tearing my dress
off with no respect; William forcing me down, intrusive and
harsh.

Chi pauses, breathing heavily
against my navel. He lifts himself up with both his arms tense
around me. When his face reaches my level, his eyes search for
mine. He’s seeking a way inside my mind. I turn my face away, but
he pulls on my chin with his index finger. I can feel his eyes on
me, demanding visual contact.

When my gaze finally meets Chi's,
I know a part of me broke in that hotel room William took me to. I
thought I had forgotten. I thought Chi had mended the pieces. But
the cracks are still there, and I’m breaking apart at the worst
moment possible.

Bile rises to my mouth. I swallow
it down and stifle a sob. I don’t want Chi to see my tears. These
traitors are betraying my every feeling. They are an embarrassment.
A frown appears as his brow furrows. He pulls my forehead to his
lips and kisses it, remaining like that for a few seconds, with his
mouth against my skin. The tears fall down my cheeks and another
sob escapes my mouth, louder this time.