Under Fire (18 page)

The sun was just starting to tease the watery horizon visible through the open kitchen window. A fan kicked up a breeze, and while there were AC vents in the bungalow, apparently the Rochas preferred the morning breeze.

Sunny poured a cup of coffee for herself as well, looking surprisingly awake in running shorts and a tank top. Her brown hair swung loose, with a feather woven into the strands on one side. “It’s nothing. Seriously. This is what we do for each other.”

She placed a plate of pineapple-mango muffins on the table. Home baked. Clearly.

Even if she hadn’t seen the muffin tin slotted in the dish dryer by the sink, she would have known. Everything about this place spoke of eco-friendly creativity, from the repurposed walnut table to the natural-fiber curtains. Rag rugs were scattered in front of the sink, by the door, in the hall.

Being here, bringing danger to their doorstep, felt so wrong. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Sunny sat across from her and scooped up a muffin.

Rachel’s mouth watered and she grabbed a muffin for herself, as good an excuse as any to give herself a moment to come up with a neutral answer. She thought of Liam’s insistence that they wouldn’t ask questions, which meant she should respect the need to keep them as uninvolved as possible. So what was she supposed to talk about?

The flippin’ weather? “Your home is beautiful, like you’ve found Florida’s little best kept secret nestled back here.”

“It’s a temporary place, just for their short stint.” Sunny thumbed a crumb from the corner of her mouth. “Some folks think I’m crazy for not picking an inexpensive condo and a more flashy setting, but I value my privacy.”

Short stint? Liam was moving soon? Suddenly sitting here was more than about killing time. Sitting here offered her an inside peek at what life would be like with Liam. Forget about denying she could ignore whatever it was she felt for him. She’d been trying that for six months and it hadn’t worked. “What do you mean about a short stint?”

“The guys are filling a billet here because the reserve squadrons were undermanned. They’ve been working on some special project. It’s all temporary, which isn’t that unusual in the military, from what I understand so far. We’ll be moving soon.”

“Where to?” And why was she already considering options for expanding the therapy dog operation?

“Haven’t heard yet.” She sipped from the earthenware mug.

“That doesn’t bother you? Not knowing where you’ll be living next?” Rachel had made a point of being in control of her life since Caden died.

“Would it do any good if I let it upset me?” She broke off another bite of pineapple-mango muffin. “There’s nothing I can do to change the way things are. To live with the man, I have to live with the circumstances.”

“Must be nice to have a marriage that solid. Um, I assume you’re married. I thought Liam said you were. Sorry if I—” She stuffed a piece of muffin into her mouth, chewing extra long on the sweet bite of pineapple.

Sunny shoved to her feet. “Don’t worry. We are married. I am officially Sunny Rocha. So my name is basically Sunny Rock.” Grinning, she filled two dog bowls with water. “But Sunshine Rock would be even worse, and there you have it.”

This woman was such a natural, at ease in her skin and so nonjudgmental. She was going above and beyond, and they’d never even met before. Rachel’s hands gripped the mug until they numbed. The enormity of it overwhelmed her. “Thank you for helping us, no questions asked. Liam’s lucky to have friends like you two.”

“I believe the both of you will manage just fine on your own. You used to work search and rescue stuff, right?” She placed one of the water bowls on the floor for Disco, the other for her dog.

“With my dogs. Yes. How did you know?”

“I’ve heard about you.”

“But I just got here yesterday…”

Sunny laughed softly as she reached into a cookie jar and passed the cookies to—the dogs? “The major got a little wasted at a beach picnic we threw right after they all got back from the Bahamas. He talked a lot about you before he passed out on the sofa.”

Forget wondering about the dog treats. She wanted to ask what he’d said. Desperately. But that would sound… desperate? Exactly.

Sunny took her chair at the table again, sitting cross-legged. “You don’t have to ask. I’m happy to spill all the deets. You made quite an impression on him in those three weeks you two spent together. He talked about how tough you were finding survivors. How tireless. He said if the air force ever let females into the pararescue field, you would make the cut.”

Hearing how he’d thought of her every bit as much as she’d been unable to forget him was exciting and unsettling. Although was she even the same woman he’d been taken with back in the Bahamas? The loss of that identity hit her all over again, surprising her with the new ways it could hurt her. “Yet I burned out and stepped away from search and rescue. Guess he was wrong about me.”

“I don’t know if I agree with you on that, but hey, no matter.” She leaned closer, her voice low. “He didn’t just talk about work. He said how you didn’t take crap off anyone, how you stood up to him. And he thought you were smart for giving him his walking papers, since he sucks at marriage.”

An obstacle she still wasn’t sure how to overcome. “That whole three divorce thing is tough to overlook.”

“This is a rough career field for relationships, no question.” Shadows chased through her eyes before she looked down into her coffee.

“If you don’t mind my asking, doesn’t that worry you?”

She looked up, eyes resolute. “Not being with Wade worries me more.”

Her stomach clenched. She knew too well how much it hurt to lose a man she loved. This conversation was definitely veering too close to painful territory.

Rachel reached down to let the husky mix sniff her hand. “What’s this handsome fella’s name?”

Sunny eyed her for a second before smiling, seeming to accept the need to shift gears. “My dog’s name is Chewie. We worked together as travel guides in Alaska when I, uh, lived off the grid.”

“That explains why you chose to live in a more secluded spot here.” And all of the natural touches to the bungalow. “If you were so remote, how did you two meet?”

“Wade thought I needed saving.” She rolled her eyes. “He parachuted into an Alaskan blizzard only to have
me
show
him
the best place to camp and ride out the storm. And here we are.”

“You’re lucky to have found each other.”

Masculine voices drifted down the hall. Too easily she could detect the difference between Liam’s and Wade Rocha’s. The six months they’d spent apart faded in an instant. Would that same hold true over multiple deployments, year after year?

And when had she started dreaming about the future? The present was so messed up and crazy, she shouldn’t be wasting a brain cell thinking about anything else.

“The job’s easier to take, knowing he’s got such a tight team. And Liam McCabe? He’s the glue.” Sunny’s voice trembled. “The team’s freaking out over his leaving. Me too, for that matter.”

“Leaving?” She sat up straighter, crumpling the napkin in her clenched hand.

“After some mission they’ve been working on finishes up at the end of the week, he says he’s done, out. McCabe insists his body can’t keep up anymore.”

“Is he right?” She certainly hadn’t seen any signs of him flagging—other than once in the Bahamas, watching him strap ice packs onto his knees. But good God, who wouldn’t need ice after what they’d been through during the horrific, endless work in earthquake rubble?

“He may not be as fast as he was, but he still beats the hell out of most men ten years younger. Look at them now. After the workout they got yesterday, Wade’s still aching, even if he won’t admit it.”

“What workout?”

“They do PT—physical training—pretty hard. But yesterday they finished off a day at work by swimming two miles, then hiking five miles back to base.” She tipped back her chair to check down the hall before continuing, “I understand you’re a strong woman, with the search and rescue training. We have that kind of background in common. But these guys have training beyond anything we’ve come close to seeing. If he says you need to run, then run. Don’t think. Just act. For whatever you have going on right now, you need to trust what he says.”

There was no denying the intensity or sincerity in Sunny’s voice. But what she said scared the hell out of Rachel as much as it reassured her. It was one thing to participate in a rescue where she moved forward proactively, making decisions, leading. But giving over power completely? That was hard. Really hard.

Yet hadn’t she turned over control already?

She pushed the empty coffee mug away. “I appreciate the advice.”

“It’s difficult to take a backseat when you’re used to leading. I get that. Totally.” She gripped Rachel’s hand in a quick, firm squeeze. “But I learned something when we went through scary times in Alaska. If I’m following, I’ve got his back. And guys like these are so busy saving others, they don’t take care of themselves. More than another leader, they need someone who’s got their six.”

“Their six?”

“Six o’clock. Like a position.” She stood again and opened a cabinet, reaching to the top shelf and pulling down a canister labeled “Granola.” She glanced over her shoulder, continuing, “Someone who has their back. That someone is you, and Liam’s lucky to have you. Which is why I have something to give you.”

Sunny plunked the canister on the table and pried open the top. She pulled out a leather pouch.

“What’s that?”

“Something even Wade doesn’t know about. And trust me, my junk-food-eating husband wouldn’t go near the granola bin.” She untied the pouch and opened the flap. “Papers. Identification. For you.”

Leaning back, Rachel held up her hands. “Thank you, but no, I can’t possibly take this. I can’t let you become any more involved in this than you already are. Liam was very clear about making sure nothing happens here that puts you and your husband at risk if this goes badly.”

“It’s not mine, for heaven’s sake.” Sunny snorted. “That would only make things worse for all of them. It’s an extra I have lying around from when I lived in Alaska, one with a different name in case I needed to move fast. Nobody knows about this.”

“Liam says he has more than one for himself.”

“I didn’t know, but I’m not surprised. It’s just the nature of the business.”

“So because he has his secrets, you have yours?” So much for her brief hopes of a perfect relationship in this stress-filled career field.

Sunny winced. “I wouldn’t put it that way. It’s certainly not meant as some payback on my part. More along the lines that being married to a man like that, well, you have to be incredibly independent.” She toyed with the feather in her hair. “If you’re not sure of yourself, you can lose yourself, lose your way, in this stressful lifestyle…”

She shook her head.

Rachel waited for her to gather her thoughts, not sure where this revelation was leading. She’d been looking for answers and direction here. But she hadn’t expected anything like this.

“My husband understands that I used to live off the grid and how tough this transition has been for me. He knows I’m unaccustomed to rules and conventional structures of society. I’m happy with him. And even though he doesn’t know about these, I’m not leaving myself an escape hatch. I’ve kept him in the dark to protect him.” She caressed the leather pouch between her fingers. “I’ve been holding on to these in case my older brother ever needs my help.”

“Your brother?”

“He’s a conscientious objector. Or a deserter. Whichever you prefer to call him. He was in the service and went AWOL. When we lived off the grid in Alaska, we kept extra identification for him and his wife in case they needed to move quickly. He disappeared into Canada about a year ago. His wife…” Sunny squeezed her eyes shut tight for three crashes of the waves against the shore before opening them again. “His wife is dead. And for some reason I never could get rid of these papers we kept around for them.”

Her brother was a deserter? Rachel’s grip tightened around the edge of the wood table, her mind filled with the soldiers she’d helped, their eyes ravaged with pain and trauma. They’d more than risked their lives holding the line in battle. They’d sacrificed their very mental well-being rather than turn away from their brothers in arms. Brandon was fighting for his life right now.

Reconciling herself to Sunny’s brother’s decision, taking his identity, even a false one, felt like a betrayal to each of those wounded veterans she’d helped.

But saying as much would be a slap in the face to the woman who was risking so much to help her. So Rachel settled for simply asking, “How does your husband feel about your brother?”

“Honestly? We don’t talk about my brother… Phoenix.” She glanced toward the hallway, the spare room where the men were making their plans. “Maybe avoidance isn’t the healthiest decision. Married people should be open about everything, and someday we’ll figure that one out.”

“Sounds like a painful situation for anyone, forced to chose between a spouse and your family.”

“I guess my time to choose has come.” She passed the whole leather pouch of papers across the walnut table. “For you and Liam. The ages even match up fairly well. There’s a set with and without photos. You can stop by a drugstore that makes passport photos to replace the grainy pictures if you want.”