Under Currents (16 page)

Chapter Nine

Caleb waited for her answer.

“Jeez, that’ll be a tough one to pull off.” She switched off the wipers and turned on the air conditioner. “I’m sure it’s treated like the Shroud. In their eyes, Amy was a saint. They didn’t know she was a major slut without any morals.”

“Couldn’t you just ask to see it?”

“Not in a million.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway. It doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been in prison. It can’t give me back the years I’ve lost.”

”My family wouldn’t think you’re such a scumbag.”

Caleb grew silent. Her remark disturbed him.

“Mainly my aunt and uncle. Dad doesn’t think you’re so bad, and Mom will come around.”

“How important is it to you that they believe I’m innocent?”

“It’d mean that we…”  Her cheeks blushed. “We…”  She glanced in her rearview mirror. “We could be friends instead of neighbors.”

“For a moment I thought you were going to say lovers.”

Again her cheeks shined pink. “I haven’t forgotten you were the most popular guy in high school while I was a geeky nerd. Once you’re cleared, you’ll have women falling in your lap just like before. You won't give me the time of day.”

Caleb wanted to tell her just how wrong she was. An image of Julie in high school flashed in his mind, and he grinned. He recalled the day she’d nervously asked him to sign her yearbook.

In chemistry with her yearbook clutched to her chest, she’d stopped before him. Her eyes revealed intense fear as their gazes met. “Will you sign my book?”

“Sure,” he’d said. Her face had kindled a glow of excitement as she eagerly opened the book and offered it to him. But when she read what he’d written, her expression dulled, and immediately, he regretted what he’d scribbled down.

To a girl in my chemistry class—Caleb McGregor.

“I remember the way you used to stare at me in class. I think you had a thing for me back then,” he teased.

“Don’t go there. Please. I was such a dork.”

“Any man would be damn lucky to have you, including me. But I don’t have much to offer anyone.”

“Maybe not in the way of money, but you’re all heart.”

“Only where you and the kids are concerned. In prison I was a real hard-case around the other inmates. Had to be. No matter how tough I pretended to be, I was terrified.”

“I couldn’t even start to imagine being somewhere so horrible. I’m glad you survived.”

I’m not sure I did. Sometimes I feel dead.

Julie and her children had given him hope and a reason to fight the depression that plagued him.

Julie pulled in front of the office building. “Do you want me to come inside with you and wait?”

“I’m a big boy. Go pick up your cameras.”

“Okay. You might mention the problems you’ve had with Frank.”

“Not to a parole officer. He wouldn’t believe me.” He paused. “Julie, I hate to ask for another favor, but I need to give him my Intervention fee, and I’d rather not hand over cash.”

“Sure, I mainly use a debit card, but I happen to have a checkbook with me.”

“It’s not due just yet, but I thought I should go ahead and pay it while I’m here.” He counted out the money and waited for her to write a check. “Thanks. I’ll try to get a bank account before the next one comes due.”

“I can’t believe the state makes you pay this.”

“Well they do.”

Caleb climbed from the van and shut the door behind him. He waved then walked toward the building.

Being naïve, Julie didn’t understand how the world saw ex-cons.

Everyone assumed they were born bad and doomed to be so until they died. After all, it was a fact that most ex-cons landed back behind bars.

I’d rather die than live behind bars again.

Inside the office, he sat jiggling his leg while he waited to be called back to see his parole officer. Damn, he dreaded the visit.

“Caleb McGregor. Room two,” announced the lady behind the glass.

Caleb hated the way the woman stared at him. He read the expression on her face—
here’s another loser
. He entered the room and walked over to where Mr. Rook sat. The short man looked up at him with two beady brown eyes beneath bushy brows and smiled.

“Have a seat.” After studying Caleb’s paperwork a few minutes, he slid his pen behind his ear and eyed Caleb. “So how’s your first month going?”

“It’s had its ups and downs.”

“Any problems?”

Caleb hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Not really.”

“I’ve talked with ex-cons for twenty years, and when they say 'not really', it means a storm is on the horizon. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I hoped it’d go away, and I wouldn’t have to deal with it.”

The man shook his head in a matter-of- fact way. “Son, problems are like thunderclouds. They only grow bigger, and then it rains.”

Caleb spent the next thirty minutes talking about the incident in town and Frank Grear’s threats. He carefully explained the things Frank had done to Julie. “That covers it all.”

“Sounds serious.”

“Yep. He’s like a keg of dynamite about to explode.”

“Anything more going on between you and this woman?”

“No, sir. We have barriers in our way. She’s real fond of me, and I like her, but being an ex-con and the one responsible for her cousin’s death make any kind of relationship impossible.” Caleb stood. “Mind if I ask you a question?”

“Ask away. I’ll give you a straight answer.”

“Say I find a way to prove I’m innocent, could I reopen the case and be cleared of manslaughter charges? Not have to finish my parole?”

Mr. Rook’s face tightened. “You discovered something?”

“Maybe. Right now it’s not much. But there’s a good possibility it could turn out to be the key to clearing my name and restoring my memory of the accident.”

“You got my number. Don’t hesitate to call.”

“I will. I’m hoping to get a phone soon.”

“Don’t forget next month to bring proof of your employment.”

“Sure.” Caleb handed Mr. Rook Julie’s check. “My information is at the bottom.”

“You get a debit card and you can pay this online at any library.”

“Thanks. I’ll do that.” Caleb liked Mr. Rook. He wasn’t what Caleb had expected. The man acted as though he believed him and was in his corner.

The rain had stopped so Caleb waited out front. He mused over Amy’s diary and wondered what secrets it held. He considered asking to read it, but knew they’d burn it first. Wouldn’t they want to know the truth?

Julie’s red minivan pulled up, and he walked over to it, glanced both ways to make sure no one saw him, then climbed in and fastened his seatbelt.

“Did you get your cameras?”

“Yes. And I picked up Ally’s graduation dress. How’d things go inside?”

“Better than I expected.” He fastened his seatbelt and adjusted the seat. “I’m treating you to lunch. It’s the least I can do for the ride.”

“There are some really nice restaurants a few streets over.”

Caleb shook his head. “This is too close to home. Most people from Faith come here to shop. I thought we could pick something up and park somewhere.”

Not showing any signs of being disappointed, Julie pulled from the curb. “There’s a deli down the road. We can grab a few sandwiches and chips. I know just the spot where we can park.”

Hell.
He hated making Julie feel like a
degenerate
. Like their relationship was something to hide under the carpet, but it was for her own good.

Being a dreary weekday and with all the children in school, the park was deserted. Julie drove toward the very back of the lot and parked beside a pavilion, surrounded by trees. “It’s dry under there. Grab the drinks. I’ll get the food.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He opened the van door and made his way to the picnic table, carrying the super-sized drinks. “We’ve got the place to ourselves.”

Julie observed the dark clouds overhead. “Looks like another downpour is on the way. Maybe it’ll hold off.”

Sitting across from Julie, Caleb eyed her cleavage in the low-cut tank top. His gaze lowered slightly to the impression of her breasts pressing through the thin material.

Lustful thoughts entered his mind. Though he longed to be with her, he forced the erotic scenes from his mind. There’d be no way he could have Julie so long as everyone thought of him as a killer.

Julie’s eyes held the same yearning glow he’d seen in high school when he caught her staring at him. The lady was willing. The problem was being a big-hearted guy wasn’t enough. To be the kind of man she deserved, he needed to clear his name, and Amy’s diary was a start.

He waited until she was almost finished eating to say anything. “Jules, I’ve decided to talk to your aunt and uncle.”

“That’s insane. They hate you.”

“I know. But maybe they hate the wrong man. That diary might be the first step in raising doubt in people’s minds that I’m guilty. If they see that Devin had a motive for wanting Amy dead, it may shine a new light on the accident.”

“But how will you prove you weren’t driving the boat?”

“I’m still hoping something we learn will trigger my memory.”

“I’ll go with you to talk to Uncle Bob and Aunt Noreen. Maybe they won’t shoot you.”

Caleb grinned. “Might want to bring Ally and Scott. They wouldn’t dare pull out a gun with them there. Might be our only guarantee of not being shot.”

“This is important to you. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I want to know the truth.” He took the last bite of his sandwich and  swallowed before looking back at her. “I’m not having any luck remembering the accident.”

“Have you ever considered being hypnotized?”

“Doubt a bunch of hocus pocus will do me any good.”

She pointed a plastic fork at him. “Don’t be so skeptical. Hypnosis has been used to cure people of all types of disorders.” She wiped her mouth and closed the lid of her salad box. “Of course to find someone legitimate you’d probably have to go to St. Louis. I could drive you.”

“I’d have to get permission from my parole officer. He has to be notified fifteen days in advance. It’d be hard taking off from work.” The least amount of time he spent with Julie the better. “If nothing else works, I might try it.”

“What have you tried?” Julie asked.

“I go out in the mornings to the so called
scene of the crime
. And at first it helped. I dreamed about it more.”

Until you stepped into my dreams.

He waited for her to glance up. “Jules, what if I’m guilty? Sometimes, I’m afraid of what I’ll remember. Maybe I did kill those girls.”

“I thought you accidently killed them, but I don’t think so now. You told me yourself, you could never do anything like that, drunk or sober.”

Her confidence in him gave him hope. But he knew he had a dark side. A side of himself he'd seen in prison. More animal than human. The
kill or be killed
approach to life. And he had killed a man to protect himself, and unless it came up, he’d rather Julie not know.

“You look lost in your thoughts.”

He forced his memories aside and offered her a sincere smile. “Ah. . . Jules, you’ve given me your friendship. It’s made such a difference in my life. It was painful coming back to Faith and having people I’d known all my life turn away from me and not speak. Then you were next door with more reason to hate me than most, but you didn’t.”

“They’ve let hate and anger blind them to who you really are. I wish they knew you like I do. Then they’d know what a good person you are.” She stood and walked to the edge of the pavilion.

Love is blind
that’s what his grandmother had always said. Was Julie in love with him? She had obviously rekindled the feelings she’d had for him in high school.

Once when he’d walked up behind her in chemistry class, he’d caught a glimpse of his name on a sheet of paper. The moment she’d sensed his presence, she wadded it up and tossed it in the trashcan. On his way out, he’d grabbed the crumpled paper and unfolded it.

I love Caleb McGregor.

She’d written it at least ten times inside hearts with arrows through them. He recalled the generic line he’d written in her school yearbook. No wonder she’d been disappointed.

But now he cared about her as well. Cared enough to want what was best for Julie and her kids. Cared enough to
walk away
.

“You’re too good for me, Jules.” He stood, wadded up his trash, threw it in the can, then stood beside her. Suddenly, a sheet of heavy rain formed a wall around the pavilion. “I left the poncho in the van.”

She laughed. “Mine’s there too. A lot of good it’ll do me.” Her entire body shivered.

“You cold?”

“Some.”

Caleb stepped behind her and placed his hands on her upper arms, then rubbed them. He nuzzled his nose behind her ear and breathed in the faint rose scent she wore. She leaned back against him.

His body responded with a hard erection. Damn, he needed her. Needed her body beneath his, needed to feel himself buried deep inside of her. He pushed his pelvic forward, and she pushed back.

Shit.

A soft moan escaped her lips. Lips he longed to kiss. He raised her hair and kissed down her lovely neck, then let his tongue explore her ear. Julie made a soft sensual gasp. She turned and molded her body against his.

Hot.

High voltage. 

Electric.

“Caleb, I want you.”

“Ah…Jules, not as much as I want you.”

He lowered his lips against hers in a long satisfying kiss. Their tongues caressed and stroked in rhythmic motions. He urgently kissed her again and again, desperate kisses that drove him to the edge.

He wanted to remove her jeans and take her right there on the picnic table. Never had anything been so painful yet so damn sweet at the same time.

As if she read his mind, Julie moved the sack and cups out of her way before stretching out on the table. “Caleb, please. I haven’t been able to think of anything else. I can't explain it.”

“God, Jules, I want you. I go insane at night fantasizing about you.” He gazed down at her desire-filled face, her eyes flaming with heat. His gaze lowered to her breasts.