Under Construction (6 page)

“What
do you mean?”

“Candy,”
Pearl warned.

“I’m
fine.”

“And,
I’m an
eighteen-year-old
swimsuit model.
Out with it,” Pearl ordered. Candace looked up with watery eyes. “Who do I need
to ground?” Pearl joked.

Candace
chuckled and wiped away the hint of a tear. “Oh, Pearl.
Am I being
realistic?”

“Realistic?
You lost me.”

“About
Jameson,” Candace said sadly. “What if I am keeping her from the things she
deserves? I’ve raised my family. For Christ’s
sake,
I’m a grandmother!”

“Still
lost. You went left somewhere back there and I’m still at the stoplight. What
are you talking about?” Pearl asked.

“Jameson
wanting children.”

“Oh.
Does Jameson want children?” Pearl asked.

“I
don’t know. She’s never said that, but…”

“Never
said that to me either,” Pearl offered. “So, just ask her.”

“What?”
Candace
startled
.

“If
you’re worried about it; ask her. I think she would have said something by
now,” Pearl shrugged, seeming unfazed by the conversation.

“I
agree,” Candace said. “That doesn’t mean she might not change her mind.”

“True,”
Pearl replied.

“You
are not helping!” Candace said. “How can you be so calm?” Pearl shrugged again
and leaned against the counter. Candace covered her eyes. “I don’t want to lose
her.”

“So
don’t,” Pearl said.

“Pearl…”

“What?
Why are you so worried about what might happen? You know better than that,”
Pearl said.

“I
don’t want to do that again,” Candace said. “I did that part of my life.”

Pearl
nodded. “Where did you get this idea anyway?” Candace sighed. “Well?”

“Marianne
just mentioned that…”

“Candy,”
Pearl scolded. “Listen to me,” she said. “I’ve lived a little longer than you.
Not much, but just enough,” she said with a wink. Candace sighed again. “You
love Jameson?”

“Of
course, I do.”

“Um-hum.
That’s why you are hesitant to make
certain
changes. Am I right?” Pearl asked.

“You
mean running for governor.”

“I do.
Am I wrong? You’re not sure you want to do that. Part of you does and part of
you doesn’t. Mostly because you’re afraid that where it might lead is not what
Jameson will want,” Pearl surmised.

“It’s
not just that,” Candace said. “I’m not sure if it’s what I want. If I do
it…everything will change for us.”

“And, I
will bet that you are right, Jameson would probably rather not rock the boat,
but I will also bet that she will stay beside you if that’s what you want.
She’ll make the compromises if I know Jameson. And, I do know Jameson.”

“I know
that,” Candace said. “That’s why I want to be sure before I make that decision,
before we make that decision. She’d do anything for me. I know that too.” Pearl
smiled and raised her brow. Candace shook her head as she followed the older
woman’s train of thought. “Not the same thing,” Candace said.

“Yes,
it is,” Pearl said. “You are worried about something that hasn’t even come to
pass. And, you don’t even know how you would feel if it did.” Candace’s jaw
fell open. “First of all, I’m not sure Jameson would ever even want children,”
Pearl said.

“Did
you see her with those boys?” Candace chimed.

Pearl
nodded and noted the smile on Candace’s face. “Yes, and so did you. You look me
in the eyes and tell me it doesn’t make you love her all the more,” Pearl
challenged. Candace groaned. “That doesn’t mean she wants her own,” Pearl said.
“Things change, Candy. People even change. You can’t predict tomorrow. You just
have to trust that you and Jameson will be able to get through whatever comes
your way.”

“I
know.”

“So,
trust her.”

“I do,”
Candace said.

“Than
trust that she will tell you what she needs, not Marianne.” Candace sighed
heavily. “Don’t try to predict the future, Candy,” Pearl said. “It has a way of
surprising you.” Candace nodded with a smile as Pearl enveloped her in a hug.
“And, for once…consider the source. I love Marianne, but she has a vivid
imagination and she doesn’t think things through sometimes.”

“I
know,” Candace said.

“Yes,
but you sometimes forget.”

***

“What did you say to make Mom
cry?” Michelle demanded of her sister.

Jonah
heard Michelle’s voice raise and made his way over to his siblings. “What do
you mean Mom’s crying?” he asked.

“It’s
not my fault,” Marianne defended herself.

“Bullshit,
Marianne. What did you say?” Michelle barked.

Rick
noticed the argument beginning and discretely asked Jameson if she would hold
Spencer. “What is going on?” he asked as he toweled off his short hair.

“Ask
your wife,” Michelle answered without removing her gaze from her sister.

“I
didn’t do anything,” Marianne insisted. “I just asked her a simple question.”

“What
kind of question?” Jonah asked.

“I just
asked if she had considered the fact that Jameson might want kids someday. What
would she do then?” Marianne explained as reasonably as she could.

“Why
the hell would you even ask that?” Michelle asked.

“Come
on, Shell! You can’t seriously see Mom with another baby! Jesus! You want
brothers and sisters the same age as your own kids? I’m just trying to help her
be realistic.”

“No,
you’re just trying to cause trouble for her and J.D.,” Michelle said in
disgust.

“Jonah?”
Marianne implored her brother.

Jonah
shook his head. “Why can’t you just let them be?”

“Don’t
tell me you are suddenly all for this relationship?” Michelle asked her
brother.

“Why
wouldn’t I be? J.D.’s been nothing but good to all of us. I don’t give a shit
about their age difference.”

“It’s
not the age difference, Jonah. It’s the reality difference. You didn’t see J.D.
watching Mom yesterday with Spencer. I mean….come on! You’re twenty-four. You
seriously want to have little brothers and sisters?”

Jonah
shrugged. “Why do I care?” he asked. “I’m not raising them.” Rick snickered at
his brother-in-law’s response.

“You’re
not helping!” Marianne chastised her husband.

Rick
nodded. “I don’t actually see your point in any of this,” he said honestly.
“Your mom and Jameson are adults. They can do whatever they want.”

“You
want Spencer playing with his uncle?” Marianne asked pointedly. Rick shrugged
again, unaffected by the scenario.

“God,
you can be such a bitch,” Michelle chimed.

“I’m
just trying…”

“To
what? Be the center of attention?” Michelle’s voice was rising fast. “What are
you afraid of? That Spencer won’t command center stage or something? Why do you
care? How about if I have a baby? How about Jonah!”

“Don’t
look at me,” Jonah put up his hands. Rick snickered again.

“I’m
looking out for Mom,” Marianne defended herself.

“Bullshit.
You are looking out for you, just like you always do. What the hell is your
problem?” Michelle nearly screamed.

“My
problem? What are you talking about? Look at J.D. with Spencer! Look! Don’t you
think they need to consider this stuff! My God! Are you two completely stupid?”
Marianne yelled.

“Why
don’t you just shut up, Marianne. It’s none of my business and it’s none of yours,”
Michelle said angrily. She was coming dangerously close to hauling off and
punching her sister.

“The
hell it isn’t! Shell….Mom is fifty-five…almost fifty-six. The last thing she
needs…”

“The
last thing she needs,” a voice came upon them. “Is you three fighting over
something that not one of you knows anything about,” Pearl said firmly.

“We
were just,” Marianne began.

Pearl
folded her arms across her chest. “I’d like a moment with your sister,” Pearl
said to Michelle and Jonah. They both nodded and shook their heads as they
walked away. Rick started to follow.

“Where
are you going?” Marianne asked her husband.

“Going
to go talk to Granny J.D.,” he tried not to laugh at his comment. Marianne bristled.

“Are
you through?” Pearl asked the younger woman.

“What
do you mean?” Marianne answered. “All I did was ask a question.”

“No,
all you did was suggest an issue to your mother that doesn’t even exist.”

“Yet,”
Marianne interjected.

Pearl
took a deep breath. “Marianne, I love you like you were my own flesh and
blood,” Pearl said. Marianne braced herself. “Candy is as much my daughter as
my own two children. You are a mother,” Pearl said.

“Yes,”
Marianne agreed.

“What
would you do to protect Spencer?”

“Anything,”
Marianne answered honestly.

“Mm. Glad
we agree on that. I feel the same way. And, how would you feel if Spencer tried
to tell you how you and Rick should live your lives?” Pearl asked.

“That’s
ridiculous,” Marianne said.

“Really?
You seem to think you know how your mother should live hers.”

“Grandma,
she’s
not…
You can’t tell me….”

“I can
tell you that whatever happens with your mother and Jameson is between them.”

“You
don’t honestly think this is a good idea?” Marianne asked in disbelief.

“I’m
not certain what
this
is. I am
certain that your mother is happy, happier than I have seen her in many years.
If you really care about her, you will stop trying to undermine that.”

“I
don’t want to see her get hurt,” Marianne said softly.

Pearl
guided the younger woman to a chair off in the distance and sat down beside
her. “I know,” she said softly.

There
were things that Pearl understood about this family that no one else did. She
had the advantage of being able to watch them all as they grew. Michelle and
Jonah had not seen a great deal of what Marianne had. What they had witnessed
in their mother’s relationships, they often did not understand. It had been
Marianne who found her mother crumpled on the floor after discovering Jessica’s
affair. It had been Marianne who had caught her father with another woman while
Candace was away in Washington. Marianne’s tactics were often brash. It made
her appear self-centered. In fact, Pearl and Candace both understood that
Marianne’s brazenness was often a cover for her fear and sensitivity.

“I
don’t want to see her like that again,” Marianne whispered.

“And,
you don’t want to lose her,” Pearl surmised. Marianne looked up in shock. “Oh,
I know you, sweetheart. I changed your diapers. I watched you with your mother.
You fool them all….even her sometimes. You don’t fool me, Spitfire,” Pearl
called the younger woman by her childhood nickname. “Not one bit.”

“You
didn’t see her,” Marianne said.

“Oh,
but I did,” Pearl said. “I saw her scraped knees. I sat at her wedding. I held
her hand when she went into labor…three times…”

“I
meant….”

“I know
what you meant,” Pearl interrupted Marianne. “I held her the first time she
caught your father cheating on her.” Marianne winced. “I rocked her the night
Jessica moved out. If you are lucky, you will get to do all those things with
your children,” Pearl said. “To me, Candy is still the little girl who sat on
the kitchen counter. I know she’s not, but that is who she is to me. I would do
anything to protect her. I also know that she doesn’t need protection from
Jameson.”

“How
can you say that?” Marianne asked. “What happens when…”

“What
happens when she loses an election? What happens when she gets sick or Jameson
does? What happens when, what? There is no what happens when, Marianne.”

“I just
can’t imagine that…”

“You
don’t need to. You do need to let this go. Whatever this fear you have about
Jameson and your mother is. No one will ever replace you, or Spencer,” Pearl
said. Marianne looked up and swallowed hard. “My kids certainly didn’t
replace
Candy….and their
children
take nothing away from any of you.”

“It’s
different,” Marianne said.

“No,
Spitfire. It isn’t.”

“I
just…”

“You
just need to apologize to your mother.
 
Stop trying to be her mother and just tell her you love her for once.”

“She
knows
that,”
Marianne said.

“Yes,
she does. But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t use to hear you say it,” Pearl
said. “As for the rest; I think you had better start finding a way to accept
Jameson. No matter what, I don’t think she’s going anywhere. Give her a chance.
You might find you like her.”