Under Alaskan Skies (11 page)

“Imagine what the Russians thought of our Indians who knew how to catch fish with their hands and cook it over hot coals the way we still do today. They knew where the best bushberries were and the wild onions and how to make spears from stone.”

“They must have learned a lot from each other.”

“When they weren’t fighting,” she said dryly. “In any case, I would love to have seen this wedding. Imagine her in her soft leather dress made of the finest skins decorated with beads made of stone or shells. Imagine him in his beard and uniform. From his title here I gather he must have been a naval officer.”

“It looks like no one uses the church anymore,” he said.

“No, especially not for weddings,” she said. “But from here you can see…” She looked off into the distance. “On a clear day you could see the water and the mountains. Maybe it was clear the day they
were married. Maybe the guests threw rice at them, if that was their custom, maybe they drank homemade wine made of fermented berries, or vodka imported from the old country.”

“Maybe you’d like to be married here someday,” he suggested.

“Me?” The suggestion broke into her reverie and forced her back to the present. “Oh, no. I don’t plan on getting married. Or getting rained on while I get married,” she said lightly. She glanced up at the open roof above them. She avoided his gaze by studying the Bible. She didn’t want him to know about her broken engagement. That she’d once planned a wedding that never happened. It was too humiliating. Not that she’d been dumped, but that she’d been so wrong to think anybody would want to give up life on the outside for a life with her in the bush.

“Why not get married? There must be plenty of men up here who are after you.”

“There have been a few,” she admitted, taking the Bible and putting it back into the cupboard. “But no one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Some people think I’m being too choosy, but really I’m happy with my life as it is. In a way, I’m married to my job. That’s what my dad used to say. You may not believe this, seeing me take time off this way, but I’m usually busy, flying around the state.”

“What, no time for sight-seeing?” he asked.

“Sight-seeing is more fun when you have someone to show the sights to,” she said.

“I appreciate your taking time off to show me around. The eagles’ nests and this and your town. I feel…lucky.”

“Lucky? Lucky that I interrupted your vacation? Lucky that you’re stuck here in the bush with nothing to do?”

He tilted her chin with his thumb and forced her to look in his eyes. Dark eyes so deep she was afraid to get lost in their depths. She licked her lips nervously, hoping he couldn’t read her thoughts. Hoping he couldn’t know that she could never marry anyone who didn’t make her feel the way he did. That he was going to spoil her for anyone else who might come along. That if she was choosy before she met him, she would be more so after he left.

“Lucky that I met you,” he said. He smiled and her heart caught in her throat. She knew what had to come next. If he didn’t kiss her, she would kiss him. It didn’t matter, she just had to feel his mouth on hers. She wanted his arms around her, pulling her close. She wanted to stop talking about the past or the future. She wanted to live in the present for only a few hours or a few days. She would deal with the future later.

She knew this wasn’t going to last. She knew he was going to leave. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know it would never work. This time when she looked in his eyes she saw a flash of white-hot desire that matched her own. He angled his face and kissed her just as it started to rain.

She felt his lips curve against hers as the rain came down through the open roof and soaked them in earnest. She tasted the fresh rainwater on his lips, then she ran her hands through his wet hair, loving the feel of the thick wet strands on her fingers. Her wet shirt was plastered against his. She could feel the muscles
of his chest pressed against her breasts, almost as if there was no barrier between them. His lips found the indentation in her throat and she couldn’t control herself. She moaned, she sighed, she gasped. She wanted him. She wanted him so badly. But not here, not in the church. Not in the rain.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, pulling away.

They ran back down the path, hand in hand, muddy banks on either side, their shoes sinking into the dense carpet of fallen needles at least a foot thick. Their feet made soft crunching sounds as they ran. She got into the boat first, a custom that was becoming a habit, and he pushed off as he’d been doing. He shook the water off his clothes and his hair before he got into the cabin with her.

She looked at him and burst into laughter. “You look like a wet dog,” she said.

He sat next to her and ran his fingers through her hair, sending a spray of water onto her shoulders. “What kind?” he asked.

“A husky, of course.”

“And you, you look like a golden Lab.” The look he gave her was amused but so tender it made it hard to catch her breath.

A laugh caught in her throat. She shivered, both from the cold and from his touch.

“Where are those hot springs you told me about?” he asked. “I could use a hot bath right now.”

She started the engine. “Not too far.” She hesitated only a moment. Only long enough to think about taking off her clothes and soaking with him. This was no time to get modest. No time to call a halt to what was inevitable. She was falling in love with another
unavailable, unattainable man. She was falling in love with Matt. She wanted to make love to him. She must not make love to him. If she did, she’d be sorry for the rest of her life. Trying to balance the conflict in her mind made her head hurt. She told herself to give up trying. This was not the time to be reasonable. This was a once-in-a-lifetime situation with a once-in-a-lifetime man.

She sent the launch hurtling through the water at full speed before she could change her mind. At that rate, they reached the hot springs island twenty minutes later. Instead of a dock, there was a sandy spit to pull the boat up onto. Leaving the boat behind them on the spit, they started up a steep winding path.

“I’ve got some dry clothes in the hatch for later. Seemed crazy to change now, but later after we get out…” She didn’t say where or how they’d change. She didn’t say how they’d get into the pool of hot water without taking their clothes off and going in naked. The rain came down harder, her hair stuck to the back of her neck, her shirt stuck to her skin. Water ran down her legs into her shoes. She walked faster, becoming totally soaked, but she didn’t care. She had a feeling Matt didn’t, either.

Matt’s heart was pounding in his chest. Not from the steep walk along the creek, but from the possibility of what was to come. The scenarios played out in front of his mind like a movie. Carrie floating in the hot water, steam billowing, partly obscuring her body. He’d come up behind her, cup her breasts with his hands… Was that what she wanted, too? Was that why she’d brought him there? If it wasn’t, he was in
for a major disappointment. All he could do was to wait and see.

The vapor was rising from the stream as they neared the pools. The gray-green water was getting warmer and warmer as they climbed. The rain slowed to a drizzle.

She paused by the edge of the pond and gazed into the clear waters of the pool. “Is this crazy or what?” she asked him. “We’re already soaked.”

“We’re soaked, but we’re not hot,” he said, trying to sound reasonable when he felt anything but. He was afraid if either one thought about it, hesitated only a moment, the moment would be lost. They’d lose their nerve, turn around and go back and never have this chance again. He peeled his wet shirt off and tossed it on the ground.

“Last one in is a monkey’s uncle,” he said. That’s right, make light of it, he told himself. Pretend your heart isn’t in your throat. Pretend this is all lighthearted fun. That it doesn’t matter.

She turned her back on him and disappeared behind a tree. He piled his clothes in a heap on a rock and slid into the water. He gasped. It was hot. It was waist deep.

“Close your eyes,” she said from behind the tree. “I’m coming in.”

Reluctantly he closed his eyes and turned around so he wouldn’t see her. The next thing he heard was a splash. Then a gasp.

“I forgot how hot it was.”

“That’s the idea, isn’t it?” he asked. How long could he keep his back turned. How long would he
have to imagine how she looked. How long before he could actually see her? Never?

“Okay,” she said, as if she’d heard his questions. “You can turn around now.”

All he could see was her head, her hair dark and wet, her eyes huge in her face. She’d sunk down so the rest of her body was covered with water and obscured by the steam. But if he looked carefully… No, he would not look carefully. He looked away. Following her example, he sank into the water, so that he too was covered except for his head.

“Is this where you saw the bear?” he asked, turning his head toward the rocky shore.

She raised her hand and pointed to a stand of fir trees. “He came from over there.”

“What happened?”

“I scared him away.”

“You scared a bear? How did you do that?” he asked.

“Well, I stood up and waved my arms and yelled and started wading toward the shore.”

He took a deep breath. “I wish I’d been there,” he muttered. He would have chanced being eaten by a bear for a glimpse of her body rising out of the steam. “So if it happens again, can I count on you to save us?” he asked.

“Oh, sure, no problem. But you’ll have to promise to close your eyes.”

“Carrie, I’m a doctor. I’ve seen naked bodies before.”
But I’ve never seen yours before, and I want to. I want to more than you know. I want to so badly it hurts
. He stood, waist deep in the water, and walked toward her slowly. Giving her time to back up, to
move away, to show by the look in her eyes that she wanted to keep her distance.

His body felt heavy and clumsy in the hot water. She watched him without moving, without blinking. Her eyes were glazed with what he hoped was desire. When he got close he held out his arms, and she stood and walked into them as if she was going home. Without a moment’s hesitation. Her body was slick and hot and he was afraid he was going to pass out from the sheer ecstasy of holding her in his arms.

He caught only a glimpse of her full, rose-tipped breasts before he pressed them against his chest. He ran one hand through her dark, tangled hair and brought her face to his so he could kiss her again and again.

They sank down together into the water, their knees on the sandy bottom of the pool, her breasts floating near the surface. He tried to steady his breathing, but couldn’t. He leaned forward, cupped her breasts in his hands and took one nipple at a time into his mouth. She let her head fall backward as she murmured something he couldn’t understand. It could have been his name, it could have been a protest or it could have been a primal sound of surrender. Her breasts swelled in his hands, filling them. He didn’t plan to make love to her here, but he didn’t know how much longer he could wait.

Her arms slid around his waist. Her eyes were closed. Her lips parted. The rain had stopped. When it had happened he had no idea. Every one of his senses was filled with her. The smell of her hair, the taste of her skin, the sound of her heart beating. The water that surrounded them and made them one. That
was what he wanted. To be one with her. To give her everything he had. His heart, his soul, his body and to take everything in return. Her heart, her soul and her body.

He knew it wasn’t the time or place for that. Even though his brain had turned to mush in the hot steam, he was alert enough to know that much. He could almost count the reasons why it wasn’t.

“Carrie,” he blurted. “I want to make love to you.” As if she hadn’t noticed. It was obvious. Still, he had to say it. He had to give her a chance to tell him why not. They’d be the same as his reasons. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong person, and finally—no future.

She nodded. “I know.” Her voice was breathless. He wanted her to say yes or no. He wanted her to make the decision. “Not now,” she said at last in a throaty whisper. “Later.”

Later. His whole body was shaking. Later. Not now. He knew it couldn’t be now, and yet he could picture it so clearly, lying on one of those flat rocks, her body spread out beneath him. His hands capturing hers, pressing down against the stone. Her hair would dry and turn to red-gold like leaves in autumn. He’d take his time. He’d explore every inch of her body with his mouth. She’d cry out. She’d make those little sounds in the back of her throat. The effort to stifle his pent-up desire made his chest ache. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was a candidate for heart surgery. Wanting her that much was pure torture. But if she wanted to wait, he’d wait. He’d do anything she wanted, including forgetting the whole thing.

Out of the forest came the sound of footsteps crashing
through the brush. He raised his eyebrows and sent her an inquiring look. “Bear?” he asked as calmly as possible.

She cocked her head. “Moose. He’s probably smelled us. He’ll head the other way. Maybe we should head out of here, too,” she said. “It seems ridiculous to put our wet clothes back on when I have those dry clothes on the boat.” She sounded so matter-of-fact, he couldn’t believe he’d understood her correctly.

“But…” Run back to the boat naked? He was dizzy from the picture in his mind, just thinking about watching her dashing down the trail. This time instead of focusing on the way her wet clothes clung to her skin, he’d focus on her firm, round, bare bottom. Did she know what she was saying? “You mean…”

“Yes, after all, you’re a doctor, you’ve seen naked bodies before. Isn’t that what you said?”

“Yes, sure, but—”

“If you’re embarrassed about my seeing you…” she said, a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“Not at all,” he said quickly. Embarrassed was not the word. He was only aware that when and if she saw him in the raw, she’d know just how much she turned him on. Just how ready he was.

“Then let’s go.” She turned and walked out of the pool. He closed his eyes, not out of modesty, but because she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. Her whole body was glowing.