Undaunted Love (PART TWO): Banished Saga, Book 3.5 (34 page)

“I don’t mean to be rude, Delia, but it’s been a hard day. Is there anything you need from me or can it wait until tomorrow?”

Delia paled as she studied him. “I’d hoped to impart some sort of comfort. I would never mean to distress you.”

Aidan pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply a few times. “I don’t have it in me to fight, today of all days.” He raised shattered eyes to her. “Please, save whatever it is you had to say to me for another day.”

She reached forward and clasped his hand. “I wanted to be here for you, as your friend, as I envisioned you battling your own memories. I can only imagine it resurrected memories of your lost daughter.”

Aidan’s eyes shone with grief before he closed them, leaning his head against the back of his chair. He gripped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Delia. More than anything else, I’ve missed your friendship.”

“And I yours. I’ve been too much a coward to admit it. However, your absence these past days has forced me to examine my life. Every time there was a knock on my door, I hoped it was you. I hadn’t realized how much your visits had soothed an old ache.” She paused, taking a sip of tea and a fortifying breath. “I love what good I’ve been able to do at the orphanage. The lives I’ve helped.”

“And yet,” Aidan whispered, still holding her hand.

“And yet I realized, with your return, I want more. I’ve been too afraid of the changes it would bring to admit it.”

“Delia, I’m not the same man I was sixteen years ago. I’ve lived through enough loss and disappointment to realize I need to grip my happiness to me, not thrust it away. Give me a chance to prove it to you. It’s all I ask. Another chance.”

Delia took a deep breath, her cheeks flushed as she hesitated. “Many would call me a fool. I’d have called any friend of mine thus. But I will give you another chance. Because by giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, I’m giving myself the hope for the future I thought lost to me.”

“And Zylphia?” Aidan asked, unable to hide his eager hopefulness from Delia.

“She’s sixteen, Aidan. A young woman. I must respect her enough to allow her to decide for herself if she wants to have you as part of her life or not.”

“You won’t prevent me from attempting to see her? From forming a relationship with her as her father?”

Delia’s expression softened. “No. I’ve realized, as she’s asked about you these past days, how much she’s yearned for a father but thought it impossible. All I ask is that you decide now to either walk away or to fully commit to her. I couldn’t handle seeing her hurt or disillusioned.”

“Only time will show you the man I’ve become. Thank you.” Aidan sighed with contentment, leaning his head against his chair once more, holding her hand for a moment before raising it and kissing it. “You’ll come to a dinner held at my nephew’s house?”

Delia nodded. “Yes. I’d like that very much.”

***

AIDAN WALKED INTO a coffee shop near the orphanage. A thin sheen of steam covered the windows, engendering a sense of intimacy to the room. The rich smells of coffee and anise caused him to pause, his eyes closing momentarily, harkening back to memories of foreign travels when he was a sailor. His shoulders relaxed on the deep exhale, and he approached the table where Zylphia sat. He frowned, noting her stiff shoulders and the tight grip on her purse.

“Zylphia, thank you for agreeing to meet me.” Aidan pulled out the chair across from her and sat down.

“I read about the infamous actions of your nephew’s fiancée,” Zylphia said.

“Forgive me for leaving you and your mother precipitously at dinner. Jeremy and Savannah needed my help.”

Zylphia gripped her purse tighter. “I understand your desire to help those you are closest to.”

“Zylphia.” Aidan reached forward, placing his fingers over her fisted hand. “I may have just discovered I have a daughter, but I would come to your aid. If you needed my help, nothing could prevent me from rendering it.”

Zylphia inhaled a stuttering breath and sniffed. “My mother and I have done well for years without you.”

Aidan smiled as he watched his daughter, pride shining from his eyes. “You have every right to be wary of me. To worry I’ll fail you or your mother again. Only time, and my constancy, will prove my sincerity.”

Aidan smiled absently to the waitress, ordering tea and coffee with cakes. He met Zylphia’s frank gaze as she watched him.

“I would think you’d relish your freedom,” she said with a challenging lift of one eyebrow.

Aidan laughed, and his blue eyes sparkled with joy as he beheld his obstinate daughter. “You couldn’t be more incorrect. I thought I was destined to be alone, until I learned my nephews had survived the fire that had killed my brother and sister-in-law. To find your mother again, and then you …” His blue eyes gleamed. “… it’s wondrous.”

“Mother informed me that you’d had another child,” Zylphia said, her defiant countenance transforming into one of embarrassed concern as Aidan flinched. “Forgive me. I spoke out of turn.”

“No, you are correct. And you have the right to know about me. I’d like for you to know me.” Aidan sighed, meeting Zylphia’s gaze with a tormented one. “I had a baby daughter. She was a part of my life for a few short weeks. Precious weeks,” he murmured.

“You mourn her still.” Zylphia watched him with evident confusion.

He tilted his head to one side as he studied her. “Yes, as I mourn all those I have loved and lost. As I had mourned your mother, until I walked through that door in the orphanage and found her.”

“You don’t mourn your daughter more than your wife? Than your brother?”

“It’s a different pain, although, when the scars are written on your heart, they feel much the same. When I lost my brother, I had years of memories to mourn. When my daughter died, I had years of dreams to mourn. I mourn them still.” He half smiled as he looked at Zylphia. “Meeting you has made me imagine what she would have been like. Feisty. Independent. Loyal.”

Zylphia blushed but continued to meet his gaze.

“I understand you were raised in an orphanage, but I know your mother, and I know she would have showered you with love.” Aidan watched her with confusion. “Why do you doubt the ability of others to love you?”

Zylphia flushed and looked into her teacup. “She did. And I knew she would never give me away, unlike the fate of many of the children in the orphanage. But I understood what my fate would be if something were to happen to her. And it terrified me.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, her fingers gripping the teacup. “I didn’t want to be consigned to the life of an orphan. To an adoptive home. I hated my father for dying. For leaving her destitute.” She raised angry eyes to Aidan. “And when I learned of you, I hated you. For abandoning my mother.”

“For abandoning you,” Aidan said after a long pause. “I hope someday you’ll believe me, although I know it sounds a weak reason to a woman who’s spent years yearning for a father, that I didn’t know I was to be so blessed.” He smiled as Zylphia’s eyes flashed with emotion, and she blinked tears. “Yes, my daughter, blessed. For, if you believe nothing, I need you to understand you were created out of an abundance of love.”

“Why did you leave? Why did you consign my mother to endless nights crying into her pillow?” She swiped at an errant tear and lifted her chin away to prevent Aidan from tapping at her wet cheeks with a handkerchief.

“Your mother and I fought, said cruel things to each other, and I lost her. In my grief over the loss of my brother and his family, I lost your mother. I never knew I was losing you too.”

“If you had known, would you have stayed?”

Aidan’s expression softened, and he clasped her hand fiddling with the teaspoon. “Nothing could have caused me to leave.” His expression darkened. “But I can’t rewrite the past, Zylphia.”

She sniffed, her gaze focused on the steamy windows for a moment. “I believe you.” She smiled ruefully as Aidan exhaled deeply. “I want to know you, but I think I’ll find it difficult to have another parent giving me instructions.”

“We all must adjust,” Aidan murmured as he reached forward and brushed a hand over her dark hair before clasping her hand again. “I’ll only ever want what’s best for you, Zylphia, and will find joy even in our squabbles.”

Zylphia blinked away tears. “It is almost too much to understand. I have a father,” Zylphia whispered.

“Yes, and cousins. I’d like for you to meet them at a gathering to be held at their home here in the North End. Will you attend with your mother and me?”

“Will you tell them who I am?”

“Of course. I’m eager for my nephews to meet their cousin, my daughter.” He smiled tenderly at her. “I know it’s difficult, Zylphia, but I hope someday you find as much joy in discovering you have a father as I do in my discovery of you.”

Zylphia bit her lip before whispering, “I have, Father. The joy I’ve felt at the prospect of truly having a father has terrified me.”

Aidan’s eyes flashed, and he reached forward to grip her hand. “You won’t lose me, Zylphia. I can promise you that.”

Zylphia nodded, turning her hand over to squeeze his.

CHAPTER 26

SAVANNAH STOOD ON THE FRONT STEPS to the McLeod house in the North End and took a deep, fortifying breath. Jeremy opened the door, pulling her in for a quick embrace before leading her down the hall.

“Savannah,” Florence said as she rushed toward her, holding little Ian. “It’s wonderful to see you. Thank you for coming.”

Savannah nodded, tracing Ian’s head before attempting a smile. “Hello, Florence, Richard.”

Florence tugged her to the settee, shooing away the cat. “How are you?”

Savannah cast a quick glance to Richard and Jeremy who appeared deep in conversation in the kitchen area. “Not very good,” Savannah whispered. “I wake at night, hearing Hope calling for me. It’s almost more than I can handle when I realize she’s gone.”

Florence gripped Savannah’s hand. “I’m sadder than I can say, Savannah. I regret not being able to travel for the funeral.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to. Besides, I wasn’t aware of much that happened that day,” she admitted in a whisper. “It’s as though it all happened to someone else.”

Savannah looked up as Colin, Lucas and her father walked in, with Colin carrying Melinda. “Lucas!” Savannah exclaimed. “I hadn’t expected you to come.” She rose and threw herself in his arms.

“Sav,” Lucas said, holding her tight. “I’ve missed you these past few days and had to see for myself that you were doing all right.” He brushed a hand over her head, marring her simple chignon.

She leaned in again for another embrace. “All I care about is that you are recovered.”

“It’s going to take a few weeks before I feel like my old self,” he admitted. “I still don’t have much strength, and the doctors don’t want me to do much heavy lifting. Other than that, I’m fine.”

Lucas reached out a hand to clasp Jeremy’s, keeping one arm around Savannah. “Thank you for keeping her safe,” Jeremy said with an emotion-laden voice.

“Always,” Lucas said. “It’s something else we have in common.”

Savannah stepped out of her brother’s arms and turned toward her father. She was unable to battle her tears, and they poured forth as he pulled her into his strong arms.

“Ah, my Savannah,” he whispered, blinking away tears. “I’m sorry you’ve suffered as you have.” He patted her back as Savannah attempted to control her tears.

Lucas collapsed into a chair and accepted a glass of water from Florence.

“Lucas, you shouldn’t be exerting yourself by coming here,” Savannah admonished, swiping at her tears.

“I’m fine, Sav. We took a carriage here, and now I’ll spend the entire evening sitting down.”

“As long as you continue to follow the doctor’s orders,” Savannah said, sitting next to him. He slung an arm over her shoulder, and she leaned into him a moment. Colin sat next to them, balancing Melinda on his knees. She reached out her arms to Savannah and squirmed on Colin’s lap.

“Here, Sav, I think she’ll only settle once she’s with you.”

Savannah stifled a sob as she held her small blonde cousin, fighting memories of her daughter. She nodded and sniffled her acknowledgment to Colin and Lucas that she was fine, cuddling Melinda on her lap as she settled. She smiled as Colin extracted a small doll from his pocket, and Melinda played with it silently.

“You’ve become very attuned to the needs of a child,” Lucas teased Colin.

Colin played with Melinda’s wispy curls. “She needs to know only love from now on,” Colin murmured. Lucas and Savannah mumbled their agreement, their focus on Melinda shifting at the sound of new arrivals.

Aidan entered with Zylphia and Delia, and the small room felt as though it would burst with everyone in it. Although a cool day in mid-April, Jeremy leaned over to open the kitchen window.

“Mrs. Maidstone, Delia, I believe you know most everyone present,” Aidan said as he quickly introduced those she didn’t know. “This is Zylphia, her daughter.”

“Nice to meet you,” Martin said as he offered one of them his chair. The table now had six chairs around it but were still three short, even with Melinda and baby Ian sitting on two of the adults’ laps.