Uncontrollable (55 page)

I continue to look down at the little miracle my
wife carried for almost nine months. She’s already just like her mother. No
matter what she and Angel went through, she hung on. She fought and I thank God
for that.

I lift her a little bit and place a soft kiss on
the smoothest skin I had ever felt. “It’s going to be okay,” I whisper. “Mommy
is going to be okay.” I choke on my words hoping that the first thing I tell my
daughter isn’t a lie.

Closing my eyes. I do the only thing I know to do.
Pray. And I pray to the one person who loves Angel as much as I do. Her Mother,
Marie.

“Please,” I whisper. “I know you’re there watching
over her.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I know you miss her and that you
love her. But I need her. I need to see her face. I need to hear her say those
three little words that hold more power than anything I’ve ever known.” I look
down at our angel cradled in my arms and watch her peacefully sleep. “We would
be lost without her.” I let out a shaky breath. “I will change my life for her
if you spare hers. Give her the chance to know what it’s like to be a mommy.” I
tightly close my eyes as tears slide down my already wet cheeks.

 I stand and sniff several times when the door
swings open and a man walks in dressed in a set of blue scrubs.

 “How is she?” I ask slowly as my heart pounds in
my chest.

He smiles and it takes my breath away.
It has to
be good news.
“We were able to stop the bleeding.”

 “Oh, thank God.” I let out a long breath and smile
through the tears.

“I understand the nurse explained that the placenta
had been implanted low in her uterus?”

I nod. “Yes, Sir.”

 “That is known as placenta previa. It then started
the process DIC – disseminated intravascular coagulation, which depleted all
her clotting factors.” I nod again wondering why this sounds like bad news. I
thought they stopped it?

He continues. “She was losing a lot of blood, and
in order to save her life, we had to perform a hysterectomy,” he says with
remorse.

I look down to our daughter in my hands and a tear
runs down my face. She will be it for us, and I’m more than happy with that. I
have my wife and my daughter to live with through this crazy life. And that is
enough for me.

I look up to him and nod with a smile. “Thank you.
Thank you for saving my world.”

The nurse chooses this time to walk in as well. “We
are going to take the baby to the nursery. Does she have a name?”

I look down to her and smile. Angel and I have been
fighting over names for months now. One time comes to thought.

“If we have a girl, I want to name her after
you,” she says smiling.

 I shake my head. “Slade is not a name for a
girl. She will be made fun of.”

She laughs. “I was thinking more like Sadey.”
Then she spells it out for me. “It’s like yours. I just removed the l and added
a y to the end.” She smiles proudly of herself.

“Sadey,” I inform her of the spelling, and she
smiles.

“That’s a pretty name.”

 I nod my head. “My wife picked it out.” I smile
proudly. And I’m going to pick the middle name. I look up to the nurse. “Her
name is Sadey Marie Long.” I look up to the ceiling and give a silent ‘thank
you’ to Marie for listening to me. My family is going to be okay.

I sit next to my wife’s bed
as I wait for her to wake up from after her delivery and emergency surgery. The
nurse has Sadey in the nursery getting her all cleaned up and ready to bring
her in here when Angel wakes.

I run my hand over my head nervously trying to
decide how I’m going to tell my wife she had a hysterectomy. How will she take
it? We’ve never talked about how many kids we want.

 “Slade?” I spin around to see her looking up at me
with heavy eyes.

I sit down next to her and grab her hand. “Hey,
beautiful,” I say softly.

She opens her eyes fully and starts to look around.
“Where is she? Where’s our daughter?” She starts to panic.

“She’s fine, Angel. She is in the nursery. They
will bring her in shortly.” I make sure to add.

 She smiles over at me. “Did you get to see her?” A
tear runs down her check and I gently brush it away.

I nod. “She’s gorgeous.” I smile. “She looks just
like you already.”

She lets out a little sob and then looks down to
her bed. “What happened?” She frowns.

 I let out a deep breath, trying to remember all
the technical words the doctor had told me. I told the doctor that I wanted to
be the one to tell her what needed to be done but now I’m thinking I should
have thought it through better.

I take in a deep breath and then start to explain
what measures he had to take in order to save her life. And I hate to see the
tears that fill her eyes before they run down her face.

“I can’t have any more children?” she cries looking
up at me.

“That’s okay,” I say trying to reassure her. “You
and Sadey are all I need.”

 She sobs out and takes her hand from mine shaking
her head quickly. “I wouldn’t have wanted a hysterectomy.”

I run my hand through my hair. “They did it to save
you,” I say softly. “There was no other way.”

 She lets out another sob and then places her hand
over her stomach as if the sob caused her pain.

I know she’s sore and in pain from the C-section
and hysterectomy but for once I’m okay with her feeling pain. This woman is
strong, she may take time to heal but she’s alive. And to me, that’s what
matters.

 I lean over and take her in my arms as she cries
it out. I rub her back and bend down to kiss her hair. I hate that the doctor
performed the hysterectomy without her knowing but if he would have asked for
my opinion, I would have told him to do it. No doubt in my mind. I would have
lived with her hating me because that would mean she would be living. And just
the thought of seeing her hold our daughter has my heart soaring.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

I lay in my hospital bed as
I silently watch my husband hold our daughter as he sits over on the far couch.

He runs his index finger down her little nose and
then speaks to her quietly. “Your mommy did the unimaginable. I don’t know why
I’m so surprised though, that’s what Angels do.”

 “What did I do?” I can’t help but ask. He’s
talking so soft it’s hard for me to hear him.

He looks up at me as a tear runs down his cheek.
“Produce miracles.” He smiles proudly and then looks back down to her. “You
gave me heaven on earth,” he whispers as he stares at her.

 I smile. “She is beautiful,” I sigh.

 “She’s perfect. She looks just like you,” he says
looking down at her.

 I hear a knock on the door followed by Courtney
popping her head in. “May we come in?” she asks.

 I smile brightly as I nod my head quickly. She
enters holding Ashton, one of her little boys, as the rest of the crew follows
her in.

 I sit back and look around the room as everyone
laughs and holds babies. Josh sits down next to Slade. He holds Trent in one
arm and then gestures for Courtney to place Ashton in the other. He starts to
talk to them about their little cousin. Our real angel.

“They are going to beat up any boy who even looks
at you,” Josh says looking over to our princess sitting in Slade’s arms.

 Courtney starts to talk about how she has already
married one of her sons off to her, and I can’t help but laugh when Slade gives
her a look of disbelief and starts shaking his head quickly.

I look over to where Tate stands, his eyes are
fixed on Missy as Slade hands our angel off to her. He watches her as tears run
down her pretty face while she speaks to our daughter. He still tries to speak
to her every now and then, and she still ignores him. I’m pretty sure she and
Braxton broke up a couple of months ago. She hasn’t mentioned him, nor has he
been around. I think she’s finally happy and back to being herself.

 I look back at Tate, and he has a smile on his
lips as he watches her, giving his love for her away.

 To my surprise Parker walks over to the couch and
asks Missy if he can hold her. She nods and allows him to have her spot.

“I’m going to teach you everything I know,” he says
with a bright smile.

“Dear Lord help us,” Josh says making us all laugh,
and I wince from the pain in my lower abdomen.

“You’re gonna have a hard time topping this
birthday present next year, Sam,” Parker calls out.

 And I realize my daughter and my husband both
share the same birthday. I smile over at him. “Happy birthday,” I say softly.

He looks down at our daughter and smiles. “Best
birthday, princess,” he says with a smile on his face.

 I close my eyes and pray to my mother and father
for guidance. We don’t know anything about being parents. They say you learn
more and more with every child. But she’s it for us. Due to the complications
of the delivery they had to perform a hysterectomy. And even though I can’t
give Slade any more children, I smile. Because the people who tried to once
take our happiness have failed.

 “I think she wants her mommy.” I open my eyes to
see Slade carrying her over to me. I’ve never seen him sexier, more confident.
The proud smile he continues to wear and his watery baby blue eyes make me tear
up every time I see them.

 He’s going to make a wonderful father.

 I open my arms, and he places her softly in them.
He then leans down and kisses my forehead.

 “Stay right there. I have to take a picture,”
Courtney sniffs. I’m pretty sure her hormones will never be the same again.

I smile but say, “I look awful.”

“You look beautiful,” Courtney replies standing at
the foot of the hospital bed.

 Slade leans down and gives me another kiss and
whispers, “You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, Angel.”

And those words alone make me feel just that.

“Say cheese,” Courtney prompts.

 I turn to look at her with our baby in my arms and
my husband leaning down beside me. This is going to be our first family
picture, and I know just where to put it. On the fireplace where my parents can
see every day how lucky I am and how much my daughter and I are loved.

EPILOGUE

It’s been three months since
our daughter entered our lives, and they have been the most rewarding and
exhausting months I have ever experienced.

 I sway back and forth on my feet as I look down at
her in my arms and I realize what I’ve always been missing in life. Love. I
never thought I would fall in love and get married or want children. Now, I
have a gorgeous wife that I’m madly in love with and a beautiful little girl
who already has me wrapped around her tiny fingers. Funny how life changes
what’s important to you.

 I lean down and kiss her softly on the forehead
before I place her in her crib. I then tiptoe out of her room and walk across
the hall to our master bedroom.

 When we had this house built, we kept in mind that
we were going to be having a baby soon. And placing her room right across from
ours was the only way Angel was going to have it.

 I sit down on the side of our bed as I hear Angel
turn the water off to the tub. She has been so busy with the bakery and the
baby that she never gets any time to herself. So I try to take over as much as
I can so she can have some time to herself.

I look up to see her towel dry her damp hair as she
walks out of the bathroom.

 “Come here.” I lift my hand and motion for her to
stand in front of me.

She walks over to me and stands between my legs.
“Is Sadey asleep?” she asks running a hand through my hair.

I look up to her. “Yes.”

 I reach up and undo the towel wrapped around her chest
as a playful smile appears on her lips.

 When the towel drops I grab her hips and toss her
on the bed. She laughs out loud, making me smile.

 I lean over onto my side and prop my head up in
one hand as the other lightly traces the scar that still remains from having to
have surgery from her car accident. It’s barely visible now, but I know it’s
there. Always reminding me what her love for me cost her.

“Stop,” she says softly getting my attention.

“What?” I look up to her face.

 She gives me a half smile. “I know what you’re
doing, and you need to stop.”

 I sigh as I look back down to it once again. “I’m
sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, baby.” She props herself up on her
elbows. “I would go through it all again, if it meant that we were in the exact
same spot at this exact same time. That is how much I love you.” She smiles
softly.

 “I wouldn’t.” She frowns as I take in a deep
breath. “I would change everything.” I shake my head as her frown deepens. “I
would have never lied to you when you first called me. I would have come over
and visited you when you were staying with Holly and Micah. I tried to, you
know?” She shakes her head. “Micah told me to leave you alone. That you were
trying to heal and move on emotionally.” I figured he was telling the truth. I
was probably the last person she wanted to see at that time.

 “I would have never taken you out that night after
our first date.” The bruises that Matt had given her still haunt me. “I would
have brought you back here and just cuddled up with you on the couch while
watching a chick flick.” She smiles. “I would have treated you better…”

“Stop,” she interrupts me. “Stop blaming yourself
for things that you had no control over,” she says softly.

I shake my head. I’ll never forget what I almost
lost. My world. “Do you know why I would change all of it?” I don’t give her a
chance to answer. “Because no matter what road we would have taken, whether it
was an easy one or the harder one, we would still be laying here right, right
now, at this very moment. Because my love for
you
is greater than
anything else in this world. Nothing could have stopped me from loving you.”

She gives me a soft smile. “Slade.” She reaches up
and cups my face in her small and soft hands. “You once told me that this world
is a cruel place. And you were right. Anyone can hurt you. I’m just thankful I
found someone worth the pain.”

 I reach up and wipe a tear off her cheek as she
looks at me with those beautiful bright green eyes. The same ones I’ve been
lost in since the moment I looked into them.

I slide my hand in her wet hair as I lean up and
softly kiss her lips. I pull back and watch as she slowly opens her eyes. “I
love you,” she whispers.

 “I love you, Angel.”

 She lays back as she pulls me with her. I straddle
her small hips and look down at her.

“Show me.” She lifts her hips a bit.

I slide my hand down her hip and between her legs
as she spreads them for me. Running my finger up and down her pussy slowly
until she’s panting, waiting for me to slide one into her.

 “Slade,” she breathes.

“You know what I want to hear, Angel.” I lean down
kissing her neck and my way up to her ear. “You have to tell me,” I whisper.

“Please. I need you, Slade,” she breathes, wrapping
her arms around my neck.

 I smile against her neck before I proceed to give
her exactly what she wants. This wonderful woman has been through hell for me
while at the same time she gave me a piece of heaven. I am forever going to
give her whatever she wants, and I am going to love to hear her beg for it.

THE END