Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader (33 page)

Calling Dr.
Who. The Doctor’s time machine, which looks like a police telephone booth, is called a TARDIS. The name is an acronym invented by Dr. Who’s companion, Susan. It stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space.

Successful Transplant.
“Dr. Who” was first sold to American TV in 1973. It never really caught on and it wasn’t until Lionheart Television syndicated it through PBS in the early 1980s with a different star, that the show really took off. All the PBS channels started carrying it. Then they started ordering newer episodes, with yet
another
star. That led to the resyndication of the earlier series.

DR. WHO’S ENEMIES

The Daleks.
Mutated organisms living in mobile war machines, they have a “dislike for the unlike.” Anything that isn’t a Dalek shouldn’t be allowed to exist, so they kill everything in sight.

The Cybermen.
Were human once, but all their bodies have been replaced by mechanical parts. Have no emotions and believe that, logically, they should control the universe.

The Yeti.
Robots controlled by the Great Intelligence, an extradimensional entity attempting to enter our universe.

The Sontarans.
Cloned warriors who live for combat. They’re fighting “an interminable war against the Rutans.”

The Ice Warriors.
The only villains in “Dr. Who” who ever reformed. They’re Martians who left home and have returned.

The prosecution rests its case: Howard Cosell and Fidel Castro both have law degrees.

The film version of Malcolm X’s autobiography put this controversial leader in the spotlight again, 27 years after his assassination. But it also raised some interesting questions about how and why he was killed. Was it a government plot? Read this excerpt from
It’s a Conspiracy!,
by the National Insecurity Council, and judge for yourself.

O
n February 21, 1965, Malcolm X rose to address a largely black crowd in the Audubon Ballroom in New York City. But before he could begin speaking, a scuffle broke out in the audience.

In his book
Seven Days
, Alan Berger describes what happened next: “All heads turned to see what was happening...Malcolm’s bodyguards moved down from the stage toward the disturbance. Malcolm himself stepped out from behind the podium and toward the front of the stage.

“There was a muffled explosion at the rear of the hall and smoke...a woman screamed. A man in one of the front rows held up a sawed-off shotgun and fired into Malcolm’s chest. As Malcolm keeled over, two or three men were seen standing in the front row, ‘like a firing squad,’ pumping bullets into him. After he had fallen, the gunmen emptied their revolvers into the inert body.”

According to a 1967 article in
The Realist
, “All eyewitness reports of the assassination indicated a total of five gunmen had been involved, but only one, Thomas Hagan, was caught after he was slowed by a thrown chair and shot in the leg.” Hagan was a member of a militant religious sect—the Black Muslims—from which Malcolm had recently broken off. The following week, two more suspects (both Black Muslim “enforcers”) were arrested. All three were convicted and sentenced to life in prison.

BACKGROUND

• Malcolm X’s pilgrimage from street tough to international figure began in prison when he discovered the writings of Elijah Mohammed. This Black Muslim philosophy of racial separation and black self-reliance appealed to Malcolm, and when he was released from jail in 1952, he joined the group. He quickly became their most effective evangelist...and their most prominent spokesman. He was often quoted in the national press.

According to some studies, a 30-minute nap every day reduces the risk of a heart attack by 30%.

• In 1963, while the country was still grieving the death of President Kennedy, he remarked that the murder was just a case of “the chickens coming home to roost.” His remark so incensed the public that the Black Muslims suspended him.

• Unrepentant, he quit the church in March 1964 and started his own group, taking so many Black Muslims with him that Elijah Mohammed’s followers vowed revenge. Malcolm repeatedly told aides that he had been “marked for death.”

• From the beginning of the investigation, the police and FBI assumed the killing had been ordered by the Black Muslims. The media echoed that official story. The
New York Herald Tribune
’s report was typical: “Now the hatred and violence that he preached has overwhelmed him, and he has fallen at the hand of Negroes.”

WAS IT A CONSPIRACY?

Many prominent blacks saw a different reason for Malcolm X to have been killed. Some suspected the U.S. government. Said CORE National Director James Foreman in The
New York Times: “
The killing of Malcolm X was a political act, with international implications and not necessarily connected with black nationalism
.”

A THORN IN THE GOVERNMENT’S SIDE

• In 1964 Malcolm X visited Mecca and Africa. He was greeted as the roving ambassador of an American black nation; he met with presidents, prime ministers, and kings. In Ghana, for example, he addressed a joint session of the Ghanian parliament—the first American to do so. Wherever he went, he encouraged African governments to speak out against American racism. He also reported that wherever he went in Africa, he was followed by CIA agents.

• In July 1964, he traveled to Cairo to address the Summit Conference of African prime minsters. There he introduced a program to “bring the American racial problem before the U.N. under the Human Rights provision of its charter, as South Africa had been.” (
The Realist
)

• A few weeks later, the State and Justice departments acknowledged that they considered Malcolm a threat. A spokesman told
The New York Times
: “If [Malcolm X] succeeds in convincing just one African government to bring up the charge at the United Nations, the United States government would be faced with a touchy problem.”

Elizabeth Taylor appeared on the cover of
Life
magazine more than any other actress.

• After returning to the U.S., Malcolm X continued to push for his U.N. program. In the fall of 1964, he spent most of his time at the U.N., lobbying African delegates to support his efforts. In November 1964 the U.S. intervened in the Congo Civil War. Malcolm X warned African leaders that if they didn’t speak out, “the same thing can happen to you.”

• They took his advice. During a U.N. General Assembly debate on the Congo, African delegates condemned the U.S. as being indifferent to the fate of blacks everywhere, citing as evidence the U.S. government’s attitude toward the civil rights struggle in Mississippi. The State Department reportedly blamed Malcolm X for its embarrassment.

• Friends and family were concerned that Malcolm X was taking a great risk by interfering in American foreign policy. He was under constant surveillance. His half sister, Ella Collins, said she had heard from reliable sources that there were even CIA agents in the group Malcolm X had founded, the Organization of Afro-American Unity. “Malcolm knew the dangers, but he said he had to go ahead.” (
Seven Days
)

• Just before he was killed, Malcolm X told his biographer, Alex Haley, that he no longer believed that the biggest threat to his life was the Black Muslim organization. “I know what they can do, and what they can’t, and they can’t do some of the stuff recently going on.” (ibid.)

SUSPICIOUS FACTS

In Cairo

• The U.S. State Department didn’t want Malcolm X to attend the summit in Cairo. The U.S. embassy in Cairo tried, and failed, to get the Egyptian government to bar his appearance. (
The New York Times
)

• The day before Malcolm X was scheduled to speak at the summit, he ate dinner at the Hilton Hotel in Cairo. Shortly after the meal, he collapsed with severe stomach pains. He was rushed to a hospital.

Elvis Presley never once gave an encore.

• “His stomach was pumped out, cleaned thoroughly, and that saved him,” said an associate. “Malcolm said afterwards he would have died if he had not got immediate treatment.” Reportedly, a “toxic substance” was found, and natural food poisoning was ruled out. Malcolm suspected the CIA. (
The Realist
)

In France

• Two weeks before he was killed, Malcolm X was scheduled to address a conference in France, as he had on other occasions. But when his plane landed, he was told he could not disembark—the French Government had branded him “an undesirable person.” He was ordered to leave the country immediately.

• Three months earlier, Malcolm X had visited France without incident, so he was baffled by the expulsion order: “I was surprised when I arrived in Paris and was prohibited from landing. I thought that if there were any country in Europe that was liberal in its approach to the problem it was France.”

• After the assassination, a prominent North African diplomat approached an American journalist with information about the incident. “This official, who insists on anonymity, said that the French Department of Alien Documentation and Counter Espionage had been quietly informed that the CIA planned to murder Malcolm, and France feared he might be liquidated on its soil.” (
Seven Days
)

Firebombing

• Ten hours after Malcolm X’s return from France, four firebombs were hurled into his home in Queens, New York. It looked like a professional hit job, with bombs positioned to block all possible escapes. Fortunately the fourth bomb glanced off a windowpane and exploded harmlessly on the front lawn, allowing Malcolm, his wife, and their four children to narrowly escape. The house was destroyed.

• To Malcolm X, the timing of the attack could not be chalked up to coincidence: “It was no accident that I was barred from France, and ten hours after I arrived home my home was bombed,” he declared at a February 17, 1965, press conference.

The first words ever recorded on a film soundtrack were, “You ain’t heard nothing yet, folks!”

• Malcolm X announced, “We are demanding an immediate investigation by the FBI of the bombing. We feel a conspiracy has been entered into at the local level, with some local police, firemen and press. Neither I, nor my wife and child have insurance, and we stand in no way to gain from the bombing....My attorney has instructed me and my wife to submit to a lie detector test and will ask that the same test be given to police and firemen at the scene.” But Malcolm X’s hopes of pursuing this investigation were cut short eight days later.

THE ASSASSINATION

Police Protection

• Malcolm X had held meetings in the Audubon Ballroom many times before. Usually, there was a large contingent of uniformed police to prevent violence from followers of Elijah Mohammad. But on the day he was murdered, there were only two uniformed police officers—posted at the exit. (
Seven Days
)

• After the murder, New York Deputy Police Commissioner Walter Arm claimed that protection had been offered to Malcolm X, but that he had refused it. According to Alex Haley, however, Malcolm X had made repeated requests for increased protection, but the police had ignored him. (
Seven Days
)

Gene Roberts

• The police certainly knew about the threats against Malcolm X. His chief bodyguard, Gene Roberts—who was with him when he was assassinated—was an undercover New York City policeman.

• Roberts actually did his best to save Malcolm X. He attacked one of the armed assailants with a chair and chased him into a crowd. When the assailant was captured by the crowd, Roberts returned to give Malcolm mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

• According to
Newsday
, later in the evening, Roberts was called by his supervisors and questioned extensively. Why had he, for example, given Malcolm mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and tried to stop the gunman? “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?” Roberts responded. “I’m a cop. It’s my job to save people’s lives. What was I supposed to do...let him bleed to death?”

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• Years after the assassination, Roberts voiced his doubts about the integrity of the police and raised questions about a larger conspiracy. Certain events at that meeting seemed particularly suspicious to Roberts:

After the shooting, “people were trying to get medical help from Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital,” which was across the street from the hall. “It damn near took them a half an hour.”

No other policemen came to Gene’s assistance. “The cops were outside. None of them came inside.”