Uncle John’s Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

The Bathroom Readers’
Institute

Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon

UNCLE JOHN’S

GIANT 10th ANNIVERSARY

BATHROOM READER

Copyright © 1997 by The Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

“Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor, Inc. All rights reserved.

For information, write The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,

P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520

www.bathroomreader.com

Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld

BRI Technician on back cover: Larry Kelp

Uncle John’s Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

by The Bathroom Readers’ Institute

eISBN: 978-1-60710-669-2

E-Book Edition: November 2012

“One Tough Lama,” reprinted with permission from
CyberSangha: The Buddhist Alternative Journal,
copyright © 1996.

“Sex in
Aladdin
: Anatomy of a Rumor,” copyright © 1995; “Is Your Name Your Destiny?,” copyright © 1997, and “The First Computer Programmers,” copyright © 1996, reprinted by permission of the
Wall Street Journal,
Dow Jones and Co., Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

“A Clean Fight: Bath vs Shower,” by Jay Stuller, reprinted with permission from HEALTH (formerly IN HEALTH), copyright © 1990.

“What a Trip! The CIA & LSD,” “Silkwood,” and “Castro vs. the CIA,” originally appeared in
It’s a Conspiracy!
by The National Insecurity Council. Text copyright © 1992, by Michael Litchfield. Published by EarthWorks Press. Reprinted by permission of EarthWorks Press.

Selections from
Primetime Proverbs,
copyright © 1989, by Jack Mingo and John Javna, reprinted by permission of the authors.

“The Insane Experiment,” by David Perlman, copyright © 1973,
San Francisco Chronicle,
reprinted with permission.

“Elvis Sings Opera,” and “So You Want to be a Rock and Roll Star?” from
Behind the Hits,
copyright © 1985, by Bob Shannon and John Javna, reprinted by permission of the authors.

“The Great Regurgitator” and “The Proverbial Truth” extracts from THE BOOK OF LISTS, copyright © 1980, by David Wallechinsky, Irving Wallace, Sylvia Wallace, and Amy Wallace and DAVID WALLECHINSKY’S TWENTIETH CENTURY copyright © 1995 by David Wallechinsky, reprinted with kind permission from the authors.

“Who Painted the Elevator?,” from
Opus Maledictorum: A Book of Bad Words
copyright © 1966 by Reinhold Aman, reprinted by permission of the publisher, Marlowe & Co.

“Countdown to 2000,” “Exploitation 2000,” from
The Bathroom Readers’ Guide to the Year 2000
, copyright © 1996, by Eric Lefcowitz, reprinted by permission of EarthWorks Press.

Excerpts used in “Japan’s Space-Age Toilets,” from
But Do They Flush?,
by Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan (
Washington Post
Foreign Service), copyright © 1997,
The Washington Post
, reprinted with permission.

“Alias ‘Alan’ Smithee,” from
Allen Smithee,
copyright © 1996, The Economist Newspaper Group, Inc., reprinted with permission. Further reproduction prohibited.

“Encyclopedia Bathroomica,” originally appeared as “Encyclopedia Tropicana: A Reference Book to the Modern World,” by Joel Achenbach, copyright © 1986. Reprinted with permission of
The Miami Herald.

“Techno-Slang,” from
Jargon Watch
by Gareth Branwyn, copyright © 1996. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of Gareth Branwyn and Wired Books, Inc.

“Looking Forward, Looking Back,” was originally the Palo Alto High School Baccalaureate Speech given June 11, 1995 by Guy Kawasaki, copyright © 1995 Guy Kawasaki. Used by his kind permission.

“Radio Waves” from
Reading the Numbers, A Survival Guide to the Measurements, Numbers, and Sizes Encountered in Everyday Life,
copyright © 1989, Beaver Island Books. Permission to reprint by Mary Blocksma.

Calling all Bathroom Readers!

Visit our new website at

www.unclejohn.com
or

www.bathroomreader.com

• Submit articles!
    
• Enter contests!

• Suggest topics for future editions!

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible.

John Javna

John Dollison

Gordon Javna

Jack Mingo

Lenna Lebovich

Tim Harrower

Erik Linden

Sage

Jennifer Massey

David Sugar (Prof. Pear)

Erin Keenan

Casey Bourgeois

Melissa Schwarz

Sharilyn Hovind

Andy Sohn

Michael Brunsfeld

Sherry Powell

Chris Rose-Merkle

Béla Keenan

David Wallechinsky

Scott Dalgarno

Stephanie Keenan

Askjanis Editorial

Julie Roeming

Lonnie Kirk

Paul Stanley

Bennie Slomski

Jeff Altemus

Valerie Hendel

Jeff Painter

Paul Protter

Shelley Brigman

Mary Kaufman

Andrea Freewater

Abby Granach

Richard Moeschl

Jenny McCracken

Bill Eriksen

Peter McCracken

Thomas Crapper

Jesse & Sophie,
B.R.I.T.

Steve Brummett

Sam and Sarah

Hi to Emily and Molly!

“The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them”

—Samuel McChord Crothers,
The Gentle Reader

NOTE

Because the B.R.I. understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.

Short
—a quick read

Medium
—1 to 3 pages

Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required.

*Extended
—for a leg-numbing experience.