Uncle John’s Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader (37 page)

In 1986 Don Stookey was awarded the National Medal of Technology for his discovery, and 14 years later a CorningWare plate was added to the Millennium Time Capsule. Chances are, when the capsule is opened, the plate will look the same as it did on the day it was made—and still be just as strong.

The lenses in your eyes continue to grow throughout your life.

UJPORAD

U
ncle
J
ohn’s
P
age
o
f
R
andom
A
cronym
D
efinitions
.

PhD:
An advanced college degree, it stands for
ph
ilosophœ
D
octor
, which means “doctor of philosophy” in Latin.

YM
Magazine:
The teenage girl publication’s name used to stand for
“Y
oung
M
iss,” then
“Y
oung and
M
odern.” It’s currently
“Y
our
M
agazine.”

ROTC: R
eserve
O
fficer
T
raining
C
orps, a U.S. armed forces program that recruits and trains college students (on college campuses) to become military officers. ROTC produces 60% of all officers.

USO: U
nited
S
ervice
O
rganizations, the group that sends comedians and singers to entertain troops stationed overseas.

Fannie Mae: F
ederal
Na
tio
n
al
M
ortgage
A
ssociation. Created by Congress in 1938 to loan money to potential home

DARE:
In the 1980s and ’90s, American schoolchildren were taught to say no to drugs in the DARE program, which stood for
D
rug
A
buse
R
esistance
E
ducation.

Amtrak: Am
erica
Tra
vel Trac
k:
In operation since 1971, Amtrak is a nationwide passenger train service. Although it’s a for-profit corporation, Amtrak is subsidized by the federal government.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.:
The secret agency on the 1960s TV show was named
U
nited
N
etwork
C
ommand for
L
aw and
E
nforcement.

SWAT: S
pecial
W
eapons
a
nd
T
actics (The term was coined by the 1970s TV cop show
S.W.A.T.)

RSVP:
R
épondez
s
’il
v
ous
p
laît
. Found on invitations, it’s French for “please reply.”

IRA: I
ndividual
R
etirement
A
rrangement (or
I
rish
R
epublican
A
rmy)

RKO Pictures: R
adio
-K
eith-
O
rpheum. This 1930s Hollywood movie studio was the result of a partnership between RCA (Radio Corporation of America) and the Keith-Albee-Orpheum Theatre Company, a chain of New York vaudeville theaters.

Double-O-Sissy? James Bond creator Ian Fleming’s favorite cocktail was pink gin.

WORD ORIGINS

More interesting stories about where some words come from
.

B
ANDANNA
Meaning:
A large colored handkerchief or neckerchief

Origin:
“This word derives from a Hindi word
badhnu
, meaning what today is called ‘tie-dyeing,’ that is, dyeing a cloth but tying sections of it together so that they will not absorb the dye. Hence the spotty or patchy appearance of a genuine large silk bandanna.” (From
NTC’s Dictionary of Word Origins
, by Adrian Room)

EASEL

Meaning:
A wooden frame for holding an artist’s work

Origin:
“Having an easel makes life easier for an artist, and the word’s spelling apparently has been influenced by
ease
, but the name of the frame actually comes from the Dutch
ezel
, meaning ‘ass’ or ‘donkey.’ The basic idea being that the easel is like a beast of burden.” (From
Devious Derivations
, by Hugh Rawson)

CLAPTRAP

Meaning:
Nonsense

Origin:
“Originated in theatrical jargon early the 18th century. It was literally any device or stage action designed to trap claps—that is, applause. Any skilled comic actor knows dozens of bits of business, from slurping his coffee to taking a pratfall, that never fail in getting audience reaction. In the hands of master comedians, such trickery can be high art; in lesser hands it’s simply…claptrap.” (From
Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins, Volume III
, by William and Mary Morris)

NICE

Meaning:
Pleasant, agreeable, kind, satisfactory

Origin:
“
Nice
is one of the more celebrated examples of an English word changing its meaning out of all recognition over the centuries—in this case, from ‘stupid’ to ‘pleasant.’ Its ultimate source was Latin
nescius
, ‘ignorant.’ This passed into English via the French
nice
with minimal change of meaning, but from then on a slow transformation took place, from ‘foolish’ to ‘shy,’ to ‘fastidious,’ to ‘refined’ to ‘pleasant’ or ‘agreeable’ (first recorded in the 18th century).” (From
Dictionary of Word Origins
, by John Ayto)

The word “mafia” was intentionally left out of
The Godfather
.

JOURNEYMAN

Meaning:
An experienced and competent but undistinguished worker

Origin:
“From the Old French
jornee
, meaning ‘day.’ In Medieval times, a journeyman was a competent craftsman who was qualified to work for a day’s wages. He was more skilled than an apprentice but not as skilled as a master craftsman.” (From
Once Upon a
Word
, by Rob Kyff)

SAWBUCK

Meaning:
A $10 bill

Origin:
“Originally a sawbuck referred to a movable frame (or sawhorse) used to support wood while it is being sawed, probably a borrowing from the Dutch
zaagbok
, literally ‘saw-trestle.’

“Also originally, a $10 bill had the Roman numeral X (10) printed on it. Most U.S. paper currency had values in Roman numerals; even in the early 19th century bills were called ‘Vs,’ ‘Xs,’ ‘Cs,’ and so forth. The ‘X’ started being called a sawbuck because of the resemblance of the X to the crossed legs of the sawhorse. The popularity of ‘sawbuck’ was strengthened by the introduction of the word buck for ‘a dollar,’ which arose slightly later.” (From
Jesse’s Word of the Day
, by Jesse Sheidlower)

LIBEL

Meaning:
A published defamation of a person’s character

Origin:
“Libel comes from the Latin
libellus
, ‘little book’—and it refers to what one Roman did when he wanted to defame another. He issued a little book setting forth the other fellow’s alleged misdeeds. These ‘little books’ could also be posters or broadsides designed to be read by the public at large and passed from hand to hand.” (From
Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins, Volume II
, by William and Mary Morris)

Author Kurt Vonnegut opened the first Saab dealership in America.

GOOD DOG!

Can a dog be a hero? These people sure think so
.

G
OOD DOG:
Woodie, a collie mix

WHAT HE DID:
In 1980 Rae Anne Knitter and her fiancé, Ray Thomas, were hiking on a nature trail in Ohio. Knitter had Woodie on a leash. At one point, Thomas climbed up to the edge of a shale cliff to take a photograph. A few moments later Woodie began pulling on his leash so frantically that he eventually broke free. He ran to the edge of the cliff, glanced down…and promptly leapt off. When Knitter reached the top, she looked down and saw both her fiancé and her dog lying in a stream 80 feet below. Woodie was nudging Thomas’s head (he was unconscious), holding it out of the water until paramedics arrived. Woodie broke both hips, but recovered. So did Thomas.

GOOD DOG:
Weela, a 16-month-old American pit bull terrier

WHAT SHE DID:
One day in 1993, 11-year-old Gary Watkins was playing in his backyard when Weela uncharacteristically charged the boy and knocked him over—just in time to put her body in between Gary and a rattlesnake. Weela received two bites to her face, but recovered. Good thing, too, because not long after that, the Tijuana River flooded their town—and over the next two months, Weela helped rescue 29 dogs, 13 horses, a cat, and 30 people from the floodwaters. For her feats of bravery, she was named the 1993 Ken-L Ration’s Dog Hero of the Year.

GOOD DOG:
Major, a boxer

WHAT HE DID:
In July 2005, a black bear approached three children playing badminton in the front yard of Bill and Dawn Rusko near Ligonier, Pennsylvania. Major got between the kids and the bear, and when the bear kept coming, Major attacked the animal. He jumped up and bit it in the face, and finally drove it back into the woods. Unfortunately, Major chased the bear and disappeared. (Okay—happy ending: Bill Lusko and his children spent the next two days searching the woods for Major…and found him. He reportedly ate two bowls of pork chops before curling up for a nap with the kids.)

Planet most like Earth in size, mass, density, and gravity: Venus.

BAD DOG!

Can a dog be a pain? These people sure think so
.

B
AD DOG:
Shep, a seven-year-old collie

WHAT HE DID:
In 2005 Arnold Luscombe of Devon, England, was driving down the road with Shep in the passenger seat when he had to stop for a flock of sheep. As he got out to clear the road, Shep jumped into the driver’s seat…and knocked the car into gear. Luscombe turned around just in time to see his Saab going over a 40-foot embankment. It crash-landed in a creek below. Luscombe scrambled down to the car, where, he told BBC News, “Shep was sitting behind the wheel quite unconcerned.” Luscombe had the car winched out of the creek and said that Shep was no longer allowed in the driver’s seat.

BAD DOG:
Shadow, a collie

WHAT HE DID:
Gordon Husband, 66, was walking Shadow near the River Wye in Hampton Bishop, England. He threw a stick into some brush for the dog, and the dog promptly returned with a live hand grenade in its mouth. (The site was near an abandoned army base.) Husband gently took the grenade from Shadow’s mouth and called police. A bomb unit came and exploded the device. “Shadow is always coming back from the river with stuff,” the relieved owner said, “but usually just rubber balls.”

BAD DOG:
Harvey, a three-year-old bulldog

WHAT HE DID:
Harvey is the portly pet of British TV star Johnny Vaughan, host of BBC’s
Johnny Vaughan Tonight
. In 2003 dog and master were returning from the veterinarian in the star’s Maserati sports car when Vaughan stopped the car to let the dog out for a pit stop. But as he exited the running vehicle, Harvey bounded over the gearshift, accidentally pushing it into drive. “Then,” said Vaughan, “the little critter jumped into the footwell and pressed the accelerator.” The $100,000 car shot down the road and crashed into a parked van. Damage: $17,600. (The insurance company refused to pay for it.) “I was too shocked to be angry,” Vaughan said. “I just couldn’t believe my dog had crashed my car.”

Q: Who was the first athlete to have his number officially retired? A: Lou Gehrig.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

BRI member Christine Degueron sent us these actual instructions for her Nikota Multi-Purpose Rotary Drill. Our guess: the translator needed a few more years of school (or a few less beers)
.

1
.
Putting on Jumper:
Do not carry far clothes or decoration. They can be mangled by mobile parts. If working in the open air, the rubber gloves and skid-proof footwear are recommendable. Bind your plait shed together or carry a hair net.

2
.
Keeping Your Body in Stability:
Stand on steadily. Keep your body in balance at any time. Don’t climb the ladder not fastened against the wall. Don’t work standing on chair or similar matter.

3
.
Keeping Site Clean:
The disordering working site has the potential of hidden danger.