Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Shoots and Scores (41 page)

MARATHON CHAMPIONS

Two goalies in the modern era have carved huge niches for themselves near the top of the list of best playoff (or any other time) performers. In his 19-season career, Patrick Roy backed four Stanley Cup champions: the Montreal Canadiens in 1986 and 1993, and the Colorado Avalanche in 1996 and 2001. Roy owns two playoff records: most games played by a goalie, 247; and playoff wins, 151. In his Cup-winning springs, Roy had a 63–22 win-loss record and an average of 1.96. Martin Brodeur of the New Jersey Devils has three Cup wins, in 1995, 2000, and 2003, and in 67 playoff games in those springs, his goals-against average was a glittering 1.64. To add a little more luster to his reputation as an extraordinary “pressure” goalie, Brodeur also excelled for Team Canada in the gold medal victories at the 2002 Olympic Games in Salt Lake City and the 2004 World Cup of Hockey.

TURK WAS TOUGH

Although his name means little now to the new generations of fans, the goalie regarded by many longtime hockey watchers as perhaps the best in playoff history was Walter “Turk” Broda of the Toronto Maple Leafs, one of the game's great characters. The Turk was a member of five Leaf teams that won the Cup. Broda was no slouch during the season, sporting a goals-against average of 2.56 in 630 matches. But in the playoffs, Broda's mark was an exceptional 1.99 in 101 games. “When the playoff bucks are up for grabs,” a Toronto sportswriter once enthused, “the Turk could catch lint in a hurricane.”

MODEST BOBBY

From 1974 to 1983, three goalies dominated the playoffs. Bernie Parent was brilliant for the Philadelphia Flyers in their 1974 and 1975 championships. Ken Dryden won six Cups in nine seasons, including four in a row from 1976 to 1977. Battlin' Billy Smith had four in succession with the New York Islanders from 1980 to 1983. “How good was Bernie Parent in those two Cup wins?” said Flyers captain Bobby Clarke. “If you had given him to one of four or five teams in those playoffs, that team would have won the Cup.”

PLANTE'S A BIG ONE

Ranking with Broda and all others on the playoff greats list is Jacques Plante, who is tied at six with Dryden for most Cup wins by a goalie. Plante owns a 2.16 playoff average in 112 games and when the Canadiens won a record five consecutive cups from 1956 to 1960, Plante had a 1.90 average.

A FEW OTHER PLAYOFF HIGHLIGHTS:

• Alex Connell had a 13-season NHL career with the Ottawa Senators, Detroit Red Wings and Montreal Maroons, played on two Cup-winners and owned a 1.24 average in 21 playoff games.

• Four goalies won the Conn Smythe Trophy as the most valuable player in the playoffs, despite being on teams that lost the finals: Roger Crozier with the Red Wings in 1966, Glenn Hall with the St. Louis Blues in 1968, Ron Hextall of the Flyers in 1987, and Jean-Sebastien Giguere with the Anaheim Mighty Ducks in 2003.

• The great Terry Sawchuk, the choice of many as best ever, had four shutouts and allowed only five goals in eight games as the Red Wings swept two series on their way to the 1950 Cup.

• Sawchuk, 37 at the time, and Johnny Bower, 42, combined to play agelessly in the 1967 playoffs, leading the Leafs to a surprise victory.

How Fox TV invented a puck that had a red tail to help hockey fans follow the bouncing disc in televised games.

A
reason often listed for U.S. sports fans having little interest in hockey is that the puck is too small and too difficult for casual fans to follow. Canadian hockey supporters, the majority of the population north of the 49th parallel, figure that's goofy. Consider the size of a golf ball in comparison to a hockey puck and the size of a golf course compared to a hockey rink and it's a wonder any Americans watch that game.

WHY NOT THE HISTORY OF MANKIND?

In 1996, the Fox Television Network, which was trying to interest more U.S. fans in hockey, decided to make the puck easier to see. The result was “Foxtrax,” the puck with the bright red tail that Fox called “the greatest innovation in the history of sports.” Most Canadian fans who had the Fox network on their cable program thought it was “the silliest backward step in sports history.”

EXPENSIVE LITTLE DEVILS

The pucks Fox created cost $50,000 each, which meant network employees had to be quick to the scene when one went over the boards into a fan's grasp. There was a blue glow around the puck on the TV screen and when it traveled any distance, the “puckman” in the control truck would hit a switch that saw the disc followed by a red tail. To create the more visible disc, a normal rubber puck was cut in half like a bagel and electronic transmitters plus tiny batteries inserted in it and the pieces glued back together. Sensors were placed around the rink to track the wonder puck. The puck's power lasted approximately ten minutes, then it was replaced, the used one recharged.

MAYBE IT WAS THE RISE IN THE PRICE OF GLUE

The glowing, flashing puck was introduced at the 1995–96 NHL
All-Star Game and for a few weeks, Fox claimed the response to the gadget was positive. But when the next season rolled around, the puck was back to good old basic black rubber, always frozen to reduce the bounce before it is used. Fox claimed that it wasn't the cost of the electronic trinket or the adverse reaction among true hockey fans. In fact, the network didn't really give good reasons for junking the “greatest innovation in the history of sports.”

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“I think the game has gotten better. (The two-ref system) keeps players from taking cheap shots behind the play. I never thought I'd like it, considering the way I like to hack.”

—center Brian Skrudland on the new two-referee system

“I don't know if Anna (Kournikova) told him to get tougher or what.”

—Dallas captain Mike Modano, on Detroit's Sergei Fedorov breaking three sticks on Dallas players

“It felt like a golf swing and my head was on the tee.”

—Blue Jackets center Tyler Wright,
on being clubbed by right wing Joe Murphy

“The Russians are the dirtiest players I've ever seen.”

—Bobby Clarke, April 1976 (four years after breaking
Valery Kharlamov's ankle with a slash)

“For the most part, with the possible exception of me, I don't think anybody goes out to try to hurt somebody.”

—Jeremy Roenick,
former Chicago Blackhawks forward

“All the other players had to test us. We were just chicken hockey players from Europe. For a couple of years, it was chicken Swede this, and chicken Swede that. I never hear it any more. A few elbows took care of that.”

—Borje Salming,
former Toronto Maple Leafs defenceman

The Black Hawks offered a million for Frank Mahovlich when a joke turned serious at an All-Star Game party.

T
he NHL All-Star Game matched the Stanley Cup champion Toronto Maple Leafs against the league's best players in Toronto in October 1962. After the glittering dinner the evening before the game, team owners and executives met in a hospitality suite for a drink or two. Chicago Black Hawks owner Jim Norris, an influential NHL governor, decided to test the new owners of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Leafs' founder Conn Smythe had sold the team to a group headed by his son Stafford, Harold Ballard and Toronto publisher John Bassett.

NORRIS' TRY FOR DYNASTY

After a long stretch as NHL doormats, the Hawks were among the elite teams—winners of the Stanley Cup in 1961—led by Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita, Pierre Pilote, and Glenn Hall. The Leafs had climbed to the top, too, with a strong reconstruction and an assortment of young stars including Dave Keon, Carl Brewer and “The Big M,” Frank Mahovlich. Much all-star weekend talk concerned Mahovlich's problems in reaching an agreement with the Leafs on a new contract. During their party talk, when Stafford Smythe and Ballard mentioned their bank loan to buy the Leafs, Norris suggested a method of reducing it. He offered one million dollars for winger Mahovlich, a 48-goal-scorer in 1960–61.

TRUST BALLARD…

Those within earshot regarded it as a joke when Norris and Ballard shook hands on the “deal” and the Black Hawks owner gave Ballard a $1,000 bill as a deposit. Gord Campbell, a sports writer for the
Toronto Star
who was at the party at Ballard's invitation, wrote the story as a serious offer by the Hawks and when the paper hit the streets the next morning, reaction was enormous.

NORRIS LEARNS ABOUT LEAFS

Norris met a hastily summoned banker and dispatched Hawks
general manager Tommy Ivan to Maple Leaf Gardens with a certified cheque for $1M. But by the time he reached the Leafs executive offices, the Leaf owners had changed their minds. Conn Smythe convinced his son that the deal was bad for hockey and would hurt the team's credibility. Stafford Smythe announced that the Big M was not for sale at any price. Norris claimed the Leafs had backed out of a legitimate deal.

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MUSIC TO MY EARS

Hockey has been the inspiration for some very fine song writing. Here are some of the best.

“The Hockey Song” by Stompin' Tom Connors. No game would be complete without it: “Oh, the good old hockey game, is the best game you can name.” Enough said.

“Hockey” by Jane Siberry. You can't beat this mellifluous ode to Sunday afternoon hockey on a “frozen river.”

“Hit Somebody! (The Hockey Song)” by Warren Zevon—a heartfelt appreciation of hockey's goons and grinders.

“Slapshot Love” by The Zambonis, the ultimate hockey band sings the ultimate hockey love song (“skating on the blue line, that's when I saw your green light.”)

“The Zamboni Song” by the Gear Daddies. “Now ever since I was young it's been my dream/That I might drive a Zamboni machine.” Don't we all?

“Fifty Mission Cap” by the Tragically Hip tells the tragic story of Maple Leaf Bill Barilko, who died in a plane crash on a fishing trip in 1951.

Gambling scandals have been putting the NHL in the penalty box since hockey's early days.

T
HE MAPLE LEAF BULL RING

Gambler:
Walter “Babe” Pratt, New York Ranger, Toronto Maple Leaf, and league MVP

Story:
Walter “Babe” Pratt, a native of Manitoba, went pro in 1936 after joining the Rangers, and then moved on to the Maple Leafs in 1942. In 1944 he became the winner of the Hart Trophy as the league's most valuable player. That season, Pratt set records for defencemen with 57 points in just 50 games and the most assists in a game. In 1945 his winning shot gave Toronto the Stanley Cup. But Toronto was also where Pratt made his greatest mistake.

Babe Pratt was a big guy (about 6'3” and 200 pounds) with a larger than life personality. Gregarious and fun-loving, he worried his coaches with too much drinking, womanizing, and gambling. In 1946 officials realized that a betting circle was thriving in Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardens and that one of its instigators was Pratt, and they suspected he was making use of it to bet on his own team, the Maple Leafs.

Downfall:
In a move that shocked fans, the league expelled the hockey great “for life.” Pratt went to see NHL president Mervyn “Red” Dutton where he admitted his mistakes but claimed never to have fixed a game. He apologized and promised to change his ways. It worked. Dutton shortened Pratt's expulsion to a 16-day suspension, and the first player ever censured by the NHL for gambling ultimately made it to the Hockey Hall of Fame.

TWO BRUINS OUT

Gamblers:
Boston Bruins Don Gallinger and William “Billy the Kid” Taylor

Story:
In 1947 the NHL suffered a gambling scandal that began over a card game. Don Gallinger, a hockey prodigy, was just 17 years old when Boston brought him into the NHL in 1942. Gallinger had been the Bruins leading scorer in 1946, taking them to the Stanley Cup finals. Gallinger's opponent at cards was a
newcomer to the Bruins, William “Billy the Kid” Taylor, who won the Stanley Cup with the Toronto Maple Leafs in 1942. In 1947 he set an NHL record for the most assists in a game (he now shares the record with Wayne Gretzky).

One evening, Taylor told Gallinger that he could double his $7,500 salary through a friendly Detroit bookie named James Tamer. The scam went like this: Gallinger and Taylor would bet against themselves when they knew that—because of injuries, or tough opposition—they were bound to lose anyway. They wouldn't actually be throwing games, just taking advantage of inevitable losses.

Downfall:
Whether it was to support his bets or not, Taylor played poorly for the Bruins and was traded to the New York Rangers in February 1948. That same month, their bookie Tamer (who, it turned out, was also a paroled bank robber and career criminal) was under investigation by the Detroit police and his phone had been wiretapped. The wiretap picked up the following conversation:

TAMER: How are things tonight?

VOICE: Don't worry about the game tonight. One of the players is sick…and I don't intend to do so good. Bet $500 for me.