Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Shoots and Scores (17 page)

BROAD STREET BOBBY

Clarke was the dynamo and focal point of the Broad Street Bullies (Broad Street being the location of the Philadelphia Spectrum). He had both grit and talent and would do absolutely anything to win. Clarke's first full season with the Flyers, the only NHL team he ever suited up for, was 1969–70. A diabetic, he was skipped over by every team in the 1969 draft before the Flyers decided to sign him. In his rookie season, he tallied 15 goals, 46 points and 68 penalty minutes; all these figures would go up significantly.

PLUGGERS, GRINDERS & A NETMINDER

Freddie “The Fog” (he was always daydreaming about hockey) Shero became the head coach of the Flyers in 1971–72. A man who stayed around minor league hockey for most of his adult life, he was a rough-and-tough player in his younger days. As a coach, he instilled this win-at-all-costs feeling in his players. Goalie Bernie Parent and Clarke's former Flin Flon Bombers linemate Reggie Leach—a natural goal-scorer who had a tendency to elevate his game in the playoffs—were the team's other genuine stars. But just as integral to Shero's system was the fact that left-wingers Bill Barber and Ross Lonsberry, center Rick MacLeish, right wing Don “Big Bird” Saleski, and defencemen Barry Ashbee, Ed Van Impe, and Joe Watson were not afraid of checking opponents and fighting to obtain the puck.

The word “fight” brings to mind Dave “The Hammer” Schultz, unquestionably the toughest hombre in this bunch of hockey desperadoes. In 1974–75, he managed 472 penalty minutes in 76 games (for those wondering, that's an average per-game of 6.26).

OVERCOMING TRAGEDY

In 1973–74, the Flyers finally pulled all aspects of their play together. They swept past the Atlanta Flames in the semifinals, then faced the New York Rangers in what may have been the most exhausting and demanding playoff series the Broad Street Bullies ever played. There were bloody fights in almost every match of this seven-game series but the biggest loss for the Flyers was that of their best defencemen, Ashbee. He got hit over one of his eyes by a shot in game four, and never played another NHL game. He continued to contribute to the team as an assistant coach, but in 1977 Barry Ashbee would die of leukemia.

THE NOT-SO-SECRET WEAPON

At the Spectrum the Flyers won a hard-fought game seven over the Rangers 4–3. Now it was on to the Stanley Cup finals against the Boston Bruins and the Flyers had a not-so-secret weapon. Singer Kate Smith was selected to sing “God Bless America” before a Flyers game for their first home match of 1973–74. They beat the Toronto Maple Leafs 2–0, and owner Ed Snider quickly realized that Smith's rendition of the song before important home Flyers games could be a clever marketing gimmick. (Not to mention one more possible psyche-out for opponents about to face the Bullies of Broad Street.) Smith's rendition of “God Bless America” took the place of the U.S. national anthem whenever Snider felt it was time to pull out the team's good luck charm. And he had a damn good sense of it; the Flyers went 37-3-1 whenever Smith belted the song out.

INFUSED WITH INSPIRATION

The Bruins beat the Flyers in game one, but when Clarke scored in overtime in game two, it marked the first time that the Flyers won in Boston Garden since November 21, 1967. In game six, on May 19, 1974, at the Spectrum, Snider called for “God Bless America.” If the Flyers won this game, they would be the first of the 1967 expansion teams to win the Stanley Cup. They did, and
in typical Flyers fashion: 1–0 on a goal by MacLeish, relentless shut-downs of Bruins superstars Phil Esposito and Bobby Orr, and a shutout by Parent. The roly-poly, affable Parent won the Conn Smythe Trophy as best player in the playoffs. For his regular-season performance, in an ultra-rare tie-vote, Parent shared the Vezina Trophy for top goalie with Chicago Black Hawk Tony Esposito.

FREDDIE HERO

The main man responsible for the Stanley Cup was Shero, one of the most idiosyncratic coaches ever to take the helm of an NHL team. To get his players in condition at training camp, he had players push teammates seated in chairs up and down the ice. When he read a newspaper article about the special exercises that NASA astronauts were doing to prepare for the Apollo space flights, Shero incorporated some into the regime. For all of Shero's strange tactics, he was much loved and respected by his players. And appreciated, especially by Bernie Parent: “There is only one Freddie Shero. That's one reason why I gave him the Javelin car I won from
Sport
Magazine after the 1974 Stanley Cup playoffs. When I gave Freddie the keys, he said ‘I've always said you have to be a little goofy to be a coach. But now I think my players are a little crazy, too.'”

BACK ON THE ATTACK

The Flyers reputation became so infamous that
Time
Magazine made the team and Parent the subject of a 1975 cover story. While giving the team and goaltender their due respect,
Time
reported that NHL hockey violence was “getting out of control.” Parent responded to the attention by leading the league in wins (44), shutouts (12), and goals-against average (2.03) in 1974–75. The team won their division with 113 points, swept the Maple Leafs in the quarterfinals, took seven games to defeat the New York Islanders in the semifinals, and went on to battle the Buffalo Sabres in the Stanley Cup finals.

THE FOG VS. FOG

After winning the first two games, the Flyers played game three in Buffalo. It was late May and the outdoor temperature at game time was in the 70s (degrees Fahrenheit). Inside the arena, a more
accurate estimate would be in the 90s. “On the ice, it felt 110, and inside the mask at least 130,” remembered Parent in his autobiography. The heat caused fog to rise from the ice surface. With no air-conditioning in Buffalo's arena, the only proven method of dissipating the fog was to stop play and ask
all
of the players for both teams to skate around on the ice, which had to be done on more than one occasion. At the end of regulation play, the score was 4–4. In overtime, Rene Robert took a shot that Parent never saw, giving the famous “Fog Game” to the Sabres.

HAMMERING A COUPLE HOME

Still trying to find that Robert shot, Parent uncharacteristically let in four goals the next game, resulting in a 2–2 series tie. In game five Dave Schultz proved his hands were useful for more than just beating people's face to a pulp by potting two goals in a 5–1 win. Then for the second straight year, Philadelphia took the Cup on a game-six shutout win, this time 2–0. But the next year in the 1976 finals, the Montreal Canadiens swept the Flyers on their way to a new string of Cups based on finesse, speed and a bevy of star players. The Flyers reign of terror was over.

* * * * *

NO BRAIN, NO PAIN

“The guys tell me I have nothing to protect—no brain, no pain.”

—Randy Carlyle, former Winnipeg Jets
defenceman, on not wearing a helmet

“Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.”

—Gene Hart, former announcer for the Philadelphia Flyers

“That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my #$%@& clothes.”

—Stu Grimson, former forward,
Chicago Blackhawks, explaining why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker

A famous hockey story involves the curse placed on the Chicago Black Hawks by fired coach Pete Muldoon.

A
N IRISH CURSE

The late Jim Coleman admitted he had a hangover when he “discovered” the fabled Curse of Muldoon. At the time, the late 1950s, Coleman was a sports columnist for the
Toronto Globe and Mail
and was renowned for weaving fantasy into his columns.A much-quoted part of hockey folklore, Coleman's tale concerned Pete Muldoon, the coach of the Chicago Black Hawks in 1926–27, their first season in the expanded NHL. The Hawks, owned by the erratic Major Frederic McLaughlin, joined the NHL in the big expansion into the U.S. In their debut, the Black Hawks finished third in the American Division, then lost to the Boston Bruins in the playoffs. McLaughlin, who changed coaches about as often as he did ties, fired Muldoon, telling him that the Hawks had the talent for a much better finish.

“Over the years, writers covering the NHL ridiculed the many coaching changes with the Black Hawks,” Coleman said. “I wasn't at my best after a night of partying and I had a column deadline without an idea. The Muldoon yarn was one I had been kicking around and, with nothing else to write, I went with it.” In Coleman's column the next day, Muldoon's response to McLaughlin's firing was, “If you fire me, I'll put an Irish curse on your team that will last forever. The Black Hawks will never be first in the NHL.”

COLEMAN PSYCHES OUT TEAM FOR 40 YEARS

The Black Hawks did not finish first for the next 40 years—they were last 14 times—until the club led by Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita won the pennant in the 1966–67 season. “The ‘curse' story got big play then, much to my embarrassment,” Coleman said. “I wrote a piece explaining my creation of the curse of Muldoon but it received little attention. The end of the ‘curse' was too good a yarn.” Coleman continued to write well into his 80s.

Frank and Lester Patrick wrote the hockey rule-book in the early years of the 20th century.

W
atching today's game in a theatre-style seat with large high-definition screens showing instant replays of action performed by superbly conditioned athletes wearing space-age equipment, it can be difficult to realize that many of the rules governing the sport were conceived almost a century ago. In fact, the formative discussions on how modern hockey should be played ensued around a boarding-house dinner table in the Ottawa Valley town of Renfrew, Ontario. Many of those ideas entered the rule book a few years later, but across Canada in British Columbia.

PATRICK PIONEERS

Lester and Frank Patrick were two early stars on the ice, and pioneers and financiers in hockey's development and growth into a true professional sport. Being in control of a league, the Pacific Coast Hockey Association, based in an area with little or no hockey heritage presented many wrinkles, but the Patricks applied their brilliant hockey minds to not only introducing the sport, but also to improving the sport. More than 20 rules and countless strategy ideas conceived by the Patricks remain in the NHL book today.

VALLEY BOYS

When silver mining magnate M.J. O'Brien bankrolled the formation of the National Hockey Association, he also signed several top stars for his own Renfrew team for high salaries. The team became known as the Millionaires, comprising the likes of the Patrick brothers, Cyclone Taylor, goalie Bert Lindsay, Sprague Cleghorn, and Newsy Lalonde. Most players lived in the same boarding house, where post-dinner conversations often lasted well into the evening with hockey as the one and only subject. The Patrick boys suggested dozens of ideas they had on the game.

HOW TO STOP A CYCLONE

“Frank and Lester never stopped talking about ways to make the game better,” said Taylor, one the top pure talents of hockey history. “They would throw out new ideas and wanted the other guys to shoot holes in them. The debates often became very heated.” A Taylor habit inspired one NHA rule change. Because teams dressed no extra players, a fast-paced game over 60 minutes was exhausting. Especially for Taylor, for his rover position demanded that he cover the complete ice surface. So, to earn the occasional breather Taylor would flip the puck into the stands. Lester Patrick saw that as an unnecessary stoppage in play that interrupted the action. His suggestion of a two-minute delay of game penalty for deliberately shooting the puck into the seats was adopted by the league.

RULES TO LAST LIFETIMES

Using the family fortune from the lumber industry, the Patricks founded the PCHA and built arenas to house the teams in Vancouver and Victoria. When PCHA play started in 1912, the rule and strategy changes, many produced by Frank Patrick, came regularly.

Up to that point, offside calls were made for
all
forward passes and when a game involving quick skaters resulted in 15 such whistles in the first five minutes, the Patricks had had enough! Their long-discussed idea of using blue lines to divide the ice into three zones with unrestricted passing in the neutral zone, later in all areas of the ice, made the game much more exciting for players and spectators.

After a trip to the family's native Ireland, where Frank saw runners in a cross-country harrier race wearing easily visible numbers for quick identification, he placed numbers on his PCHA team's hockey sweaters. The numerals, plus the programs with names and numbers sold to fans, remain in place.

When Frank saw a polo match in Ireland where the referee awarded a penalty shot, he decided this, too, would be a good addition to hockey.

Lester felt a rule stating that goalies had to stand erect at all times and could not fall to the ice was absurd. Legislation that permitted goalies to stop the puck by whatever means they chose—except throwing the stick at the puck—was soon in place.
Goalie acrobatics (can you imagine a game without them?) were an immediate fan favorite.