Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards (21 page)

From day one, Cheap Chic contestants took the contest seriously. Bustles were incorporated into long, full-skirted designs; bustiers accented the bosom. But some of the most creative work involved the toilet paper appliqués and delicate toilet paper “lace.” One
woman managed to construct a floor-length lace veil. Another gown’s floor-length veil had delicate scalloped edging. And working buttons were one of the more challenging elements of 2007 first runner-up Katrina Chalifoux’s strapless two-piece design.

Hanah Kim, the 2007 winner and 2006 first runner-up, makes miracles with toilet paper. Her 2007 gown featured looped fringe trim and pieced cap sleeves, while her strapless 2006 entry consisted of angled accordion pleats. (Kim and her 2007 creation even made it on
The Martha Stewart Show
.) Kim isn’t a serial bride, though; she’s an aspiring designer. After her second entry won the top prize, she was invited to design a toilet paper dress for a real wedding that took place in the temporary “Charmin Restrooms” erected in New York’s Times Square. The winners of the all-expenses-paid wedding contest (Jennifer Cannon and Doy Nichols of Lexington, Kentucky) tied the knot after Kim tied the bow on the back of Cannon’s custom creation. “You may kiss the bride,” said the Reverend Debra who performed the ceremony, “but please don’t squeeze the Charmin dress.”

Going to a prom usually requires a lot of money and advance planning, but you know it’s true love when your date agrees to wear or even help to design clothes fashioned from duct tape. That’s right: duct tape, the one item that can solve nearly any household emergency. No material of any other kind can be used, but since the company that sponsors one duct-tape prom contest makes the sticky stuff in nine different colors, at least there is a choice of palette. (College scholarships are the prizes.)

Efforts range from the supremely simple (a short, strapless, A-line dress in a single color) to the sublimely complex (a floor-length gown with a train of realistically fringed peacock feathers). Some couples match precisely; others sport completely different outfits but follow a theme like the pair who constructed medieval Japanese jousting costumes. The attention to detail is amazing, too; some pieces are completely woven out of duct tape, some have strands of “pearls” fashioned from duct tape, and one gown even featured embroidered flowers made of duct tape.

Accessories are one of the wackiest aspects of the prom contest: handbags, cummerbunds, ties, hats, bouquets, capes, tiaras, and
shoes carefully crafted out of duct tape to match the suits and dresses. Anyone who bemoans the state of today’s youth should admire the stick-to-it-ness of these crafty teens.

If you’re not prepping for a wedding or a prom, you still can participate in the do-it-yourself couture trend. A recent fad in charity events is the Trashy Ladies Ball. Rather than drop thousands on the latest Valentino, attendees garb themselves in garbage-bag creations and donate the money they would otherwise spend on couture dresses to worthy causes. The Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, “Garbage Bag Gala” is now entering its seventh year. Creations range from cocktail dresses to ball gowns, and the “fabric’s” provenance doesn’t matter, as long as it’s a plastic trash bag! (Some additional trashy material is allowed, such as newspapers and aluminum can tabs.) Many women fashion their frocks from classic black, but others whip up frothy fake marabou from white, blue, and pink bags. Ruffles and boas are common, but even an “I-couldn’t-be-bothered plastic toga” will do. It’s all throwaway chic.

They come bearing signs that read “Simple A-line Size 10-16,” sporting neon headbands and deelybobbers, and wearing T-shirts with slogans like “Team Alison June 28th.” Who are they? They’re brides-to-be (some aren’t even engaged yet), accompanied by their moms, sisters, best friends, and the occasional fiancé, and their object is Filene’s “Running of the Brides.” This twice-a-year sale offers designer wedding gowns originally priced from $900 to $9,000, now marked down to just three prices: $249, $499, and $699.

Filene’s began the sale in 1947 at its downtown Boston store and now has “Running” events at a handful of others around the country. It’s not an event for the faint of heart; within about 60 seconds of the store’s opening, all 2,500 gowns will be stripped from the metal racks and guarded by a designated “dress-watcher.” Women huddle in groups while the bride, stripped down to her undies, tries on as many dresses as possible until she finds “the one.” No returns are allowed, so the gown has to be just right!

Champagne in a Can

Champagne is a popular drink for celebrations, and since not all celebrations involve several people, wine producers started packaging champagnes and other sparkling wines in small bottles known as “splits.”

Splits of wine (remember, the name “champagne” applies only to sparkling wines produced in that region of France by the time-honored “méthode champenoise”) hold about 12 ounces, or two glasses. However, splits have their disadvantages: They’re heavy for their size, since the same thickness of glass is used even though the bottles are smaller. It takes a minute or two (and some practice) to unwrap and unwire the cork before removing it without spraying champagne all over the place. And there are places where you might like to enjoy a bit of bubbly, but glass is prohibited (boats, pools, beaches, and so on). What’s a bubbly lover to do?

Turn to Hollywood, of course. A few years ago, director and wine-maker Francis Ford Coppola wanted a different way to package his Niebaum-Coppola Winery’s “Sofia Blanc de Blancs,” a sparkling wine named for and created in honor of his daughter, herself a noted film director.

“Sofia” is a combination of pinot blanc and sauvignon blanc grapes—a bit drier than most French sparkling wines. It’s blended with 8 percent Muscat grapes to make it sweeter, too. Coppola
and his team wanted to put the wine into splits, but couldn’t find a small enough cork of sufficiently high quality. Then they thought . . . why not cans? Wine in a can is more portable, chills more quickly, and has a hipper feel than screw-top bottles.

Today, Niebaum-Coppola packages single-servings of Sofia Blanc de Blancs in cool pink cans adorned with posh-looking type and an extendable pink straw. The four-pack—in its metallic pink octagonal box—looks like a classy hostess gift.

Niebaum-Coppola has banked the success of its canned bubbly on a younger crowd, more
Sex and the City
than
The Sopranos
. After all, many twenty-somethings don’t have the cash to shell out for a full-sized bottle, but don’t mind ponying up $4.99 for a can. Of course, if they did the math, they’d realize that at $20 for a four-pack, Sofia Blanc de Blancs is priced in the same league as some really excellent full-sized bottles of sparkling wine. But no matter. The younger generation loves it.

To keep that younger crowd happy, other wine-makers started putting their sparkling wines in cans too and hiring hip people to hawk it. In 2007, wine-maker Rich Prosecco signed Paris Hilton as its spokesperson.

Hilton, a hotel heiress who is famous for . . . well, being famous . . . has done a number of scantily clad ads for this particular canned treat, made with one of Italy’s better-known sparkling wines. (The Rich Prosecco cans come in original, passion fruit, and strawberry flavors.) Hilton’s latest photo shoot features her in a desert, covered with nothing but gold body paint.

With Sofia Blanc de Blancs packaged in pink and Rich Prosecco available in fruity flavors, one of the best attributes of canned bubbly might be overlooked: the trend takes a drink that for decades was the province of the monied classes and makes it fun and accessible to all.

Another brand, Floot, makes that point. Its name is a playful spelling of the kind of glass often used for champagne, and its yellow-and-orange cans have a more unisex appeal—its semi-dry,
unfruity taste has a more unisex appeal, too. And Floot can be ordered by the case, making its per-serving cost a little more wallet-friendly than the other two brands.

But wait! These mini-cans of sparkling wine are cute, chic, fun, and easy. Does their taste live up to its packaging? (Niebaum-Coppola and others line the cans with plastic so that the wine won’t pick up an unpleasant metallic tang.)
Consumer Reports
brought in wine consultants who sampled Sofia Mini in blind taste tests and noted that it is a “simple, light-bodied” wine that rates “good” overall, though it tastes better consumed from a glass than the can.

We couldn’t find a review of Rich Prosecco, but last year, it sold 10 million cans worldwide, so somebody must like it. One group that doesn’t, though, is the wine growers association of Treviso, the Italian region where “prosecco” (a specific type of wine) is made. The association wants stricter standards for what can be labeled prosecco, much like the rules that govern what can be called champagne. Since its fruit flavors are lower in alcohol than its “original,” Rich does not label those as prosecco.

The jury is still out on Floot, too, but according to the press on its Web site, it’s being seen at lots of places and parties. So maybe we’ll get to try it soon.

Cupholders

A survey posted on
carsmart.com
revealed that more than 70 percent of drivers use their cupholders every day or at least two to four times a week. Nearly 25 percent of responders wanted bigger holders to accommodate our nation’s growing use of giant bladder-bursting beverages. Forty percent were more creative—they wanted cupholders that would expand and contract to hold large and small beverages equally well. The most surprising finding, though, was that more than a quarter of those surveyed said they’d base their decision to buy a car on whether or not it offered the perfect cupholder. So much for horsepower or a GPS.

G. Clotaire Rapaille is a French cultural anthropologist who has a second career as a consultant for American automobile manufacturers. His research into the car-buying habits of the general public has led to some interesting revelations. First, he found that there was a correlation between the presence of cupholders and feelings of safety in many consumers. In 2004, he told the
New Yorker
,

It’s not just women, though. Overall, consumers are attracted to cupholders. A 2008 study conducted by CNW Marketing Research found that cupholders and heated seats were more important to consumers than gas mileage—73 percent ranked the first two amenities as important, compared to 67 percent for gas mileage. Also, a research paper commissioned by BMW in 2007 called “The Secret Life of Cars and What They Reveal About Us” contained this rather telling notion about cupholders:

Early automobiles offered much too bumpy rides for anyone to even consider taking a drink of something while the car was moving. But by the early 1960s, car suspensions improved, and some manufacturers—thinking that people needed a place to put a beverage while at a drive-in movie—put small indentations on the inside of the glove compartment door. These first cup holders worked well enough when the car was parked, but they didn’t hold the drink in place when the car was in motion.