Uncharted (Unexpected Book 3) (30 page)

“That, sir, is why I keep you around.” She shivers as I blow some air where I had licked her already. “Stop teasing me or I won’t go down on you.”

Pria falls asleep after the fourth round in my bed. I cover her with the blankets and head back to the roof to pick up my guitar and take a quick look at the stars. In the middle of sex, they hit me—music and words. They continue playing, and I can’t silence them anymore. The melody plays inside my head and is fighting to come out. Rushing through the house I find a piece of paper, a pencil, and sit on the piano’s bench with my guitar. I shouldn’t, but there are some things in life that are impossible to avoid. For me, music is one of them.

The life around us always changes
Never a dull moment, never a peaceful day
You’re tired of today, fearful of tomorrow
Angry at the shitty past that comes back in waves
It’s time for a big change

[Chorus]

Today you say goodbye
With a heart full of cruel realities and no resolutions
Tomorrow is another day, filled with honey and flowers around the bay
If you lose your way don’t forget to call my na-a-me
I’ll find you as long as your eyes illuminate the way

When you go
Don’t close the door
It’s possible, to come back home
A home where I imagine that you and I will grow old
We will fill it with love

[Chorus]

Today you say goodbye
With a heart full of cruel realities and no resolutions
Tomorrow is another day, filled with honey and flowers around the bay
If you lose your way don’t forget to call my na-a-me
I’ll find you as long as your eyes illuminate the way

As you fly across other lands
Don’t forget who waits for you
I’ll be here on the ground waiting for you to arrive
For it is written in the stars
The stars never lie, our love will never die

[Chorus]

Today you say goodbye
With a heart full of cruel realities and no resolutions
Tomorrow is another day, filled with honey and flowers around the bay
If you lose your way don’t forget to call my na-a-me

I’ll find you as long as your eyes illuminate the way

I’ll find you because this time I know you’re my miracle, my life and my eternal light.

The bliss of Jacob’s scent envelopes me and makes my entire body swoon as my eyes flutter open after a restful night. Then reality brings me back from that trip, and the smell of shitless luck I’ve lived reminds me that I’m only a fuck. He’s asleep. His arm lays across my torso, his leg covers my own. As with every morning when he sleeps, I break the rules and kiss his body, trace some of his tattoos, like the line across his ribs.
I only get as high as the notes of my guitar.
The one on his chest
Love is pain.

I kiss his stubble and prepare myself to leave the bed before he wakes up, or worse, catches me kissing him.

Shedding the disappointment, I get up. The dreams stay on the fluffy pillow I use every night. I make sure they don’t follow me around. It’s painful enough to deal with them at night. It’ll destroy me if I carry them around. The brief thoughts of staying in town with Jace and forgetting my plans are gone with the aroma of the new day. The house is filled with the morning light and the sound of the piano. Matthew plays it, and is scribbling. This surprises me. I thought I recalled him being out of town. He travels every week from Friday until Monday.

“Isn’t it too early for you?” I ask as I slide next to him.

“Yes and no.” He is actually writing notes on a music sheet, as if copying it from another one. “I’m heading to bed as soon as I’m done with this song and you feed me. When I arrived a few hours ago, I found this gem.”

Matthew’s attention is now back on the piano. He plays a fast tune, which transforms into a slow beat, and then goes back to the same regular speed before he begins to sing.

“
Tomorrow is another day, filled with honey and flowers around the bay, if you lose your way don’t forget to call my na-a-me, I’ll find you as long as your eyes illuminate the way.”
He sings that part twice, the first with a fast, catchy beat and the second as if the wind whispered it through the wind. “That’s some good fucking shit. I love it.”

“Please don’t add those last words to your song,” I beg him.

He ignores me and takes out his phone. “Princess, give me four minutes or so. Ready?” Then he hands me the phone. “I’m putting you on speaker, AJ. Pria, hold it for me, please.”

Matthew sings the song from beginning to end with a catchy tune that slows down in some parts of the lyrics and rushes through others. When he’s done, he finally speaks. “What do you think, AJ?

“It’s beautiful,” she sobs, and I want to join her because that was precious. “I hate that I cry over everything. Stupid hormones. I have some questions. Did you fall in love with some new hamburger joint? And why are you awake so early?”

He laughs, looks at me, side hugs me, and kisses the top of my head.

“I’m about to head to bed, and nope, I didn’t write it.” He pauses, looks around and with a smug expression of satisfaction says, “This, my little sister, is a sign of life from the fucking underworld.”

Ainsley screams on the other side of the line. The euphoria that her excitement transmits fills me with a joy I don’t understand.

“We knew it. We fucking knew she’d bring him back,” she screams, and I’m losing my hearing with this display of emotion. “Shit, the lyrics. I don’t like what they say. Send them over. I need to study them. They sound like a goodbye, don’t they?”

“I’m hoping for an intermission, not a goodbye. Jacob can’t handle losing her again.”

“What’s going on?” I hear Jacob’s threatening tone. “Why are you here, Matthew James, and what the hell did you do?”

“Uh oh. This is the part where I hang up the phone. Love you, Mattie. Tell your brother that I still love him, even if I don’t like him right now.”

The call drops and a set of hard blue eyes stare at Matthew with a rage I’ve never seen in them before. But Matthew doesn’t react. Instead, he smiles and gives me his entire attention. “If you make me some breakfast, I’ll forever be in your debt.”

I don’t understand if he’s kicking me out or asking for food. But I don’t mind since I had planned on cooking. Knowing Jacob is about to explode, I walk to the bottom of the stairs and smile at him.

“Good morning, grumpy.” He breaks that glare and lowers his gaze to meet mine. “Any breakfast requests or just coffee to settle that mood?”

Jacob lifts his gaze toward Matthew, then back to me. He shakes his head.

“Morning, Pria. I’ll help you.”

“It’s Ana.” I spin around and march to the kitchen. “You two have to learn that my name isn’t Pria anymore.”

Jacob starts the coffeemaker while I search for food. They have everything to prepare breakfast: eggs, pancake mix, milk, bacon, sausage, English muffins, and I even find the waffle maker on the first try. I bet their house cleaner paid them a visit yesterday.

“Sorry.” Matthew enters the room and hugs his brother. “It just made me so happy to see it.”

“You had no right.” Jacob’s words thunder through the kitchen as he pushes his brother away. “Fuck you, Matthew.”

“I had to. It was on a scrap of paper. May I remind you what happened the last time you left a scrap of paper lingering around?” There’s no answer, and I want to know what happened and why they’re having this entire conversation. “I put some drums to it. We should head to the studio with it later today.”

“No,” he all but growls out. “That’s mine. You had no fucking right, Matthew.”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what you love—you love music. It’s wrong, Jacob.” Matthew’s distressed voice makes Jacob’s back become a slab of rock. “I wish you could see it.”

“I’m heading out.” Jacob taps on my elbow to grab my attention. “My truck keys are in the bowl on top of the entrance table. When you’re ready to leave, take it.”

The sadness, fury, and guilt he carries affects my own soul. I can’t help myself. I run after him. No one should be alone when they’re such an emotional mess.

“Jace.” I close my eyes for one breath. “Where are you going?”

“None of your business.” He grabs his wallet and watch from the safe inside the coat closet and closes it. He turns around and gives me an arctic glare. “Don’t look for me. Respect my privacy, Pria.”

“If you promise me not to do anything stupid, Jace.” My hand tries to reach his face but he steps back. “Please don’t do anything to harm yourself. Promise?”

He turns around without a response and takes the stairs and I hurry behind him. His long legs go down the stairs too fast for me, but I rush and catch up with him. I knew that track practice would come handy at some point in my life.

“Stop!” I throw myself in front of him and his bike. “Where’s your helmet?”

Jacob crosses his arms and heaves a heavy sigh. “I don’t need a fucking helmet,” he roars. “Leave me alone, Pria. I don’t need you looking after me, watching me like a hawk. I don’t need you or your stupid image control.”

I know. I know he doesn’t need me.
My face burns. Emotions swirl like fury. No doubt embarrassment and pain are visible. I now realize that I miscalculated my moves and I’m only a few turns shy of losing this game. Losing my heart. There should be some warning about playing games when it comes to love. Use with caution. Volatile content may cause heart breakage, depression, and loneliness. Handle with care and at your own risk.

When I signed up for this gig—helping him—my first instinct had been to turn it down. But they insisted and I didn’t have the luxury to turn down work when my father and sister needed me so much. Lecturing myself about keeping my heart free from heartache was useless. Especially with JC Decker.

This sucks and it hurts, because I’m aware that
he
still loves someone else. A person who no longer exists. I’d be stupid to stick around with some false hope of having him fall for me. If there’s one thing I learned with my parents, it’s that I can’t compete against an immortalized figure. It was hard enough accepting at a young age that no matter how much I tried, I’d never achieve the same kind of love and protection Maeve received from my parents. I understand grief, though, and decide to use that knowledge now.

“There’s no way I can understand what’s going on inside your heart or your head, Jacob.” This speech is for his family. Especially for Ainsley, who has done so much for me since the moment we met. “I can’t perceive the magnitude of how much it hurts to lose your soulmate, but I’ve lived through the pain of losing family. I live the agony of not knowing how long I have left with the rest of them. Yet every day I try my best to live to my full potential and take care of myself.”

He doesn’t move.

“It’d be easy for me to give up and end things,” I continue, not getting any verbal or physical reaction out of him. “Or live recklessly until something happens to me; like not using my helmet. Your girlfriend died. She didn’t leave you behind, not on purpose. The best you can do is to continue living. You’re a great musician, an amazing businessman, and could take over the world if you wanted—but you don’t.”

His blue eyes flicker with anger but also shame.

“That boy didn’t die. He’s hiding—terrified to live.” My tone changes to an angry rant, because I’m so done with this stupid attitude. “I watched you for years from the sidelines and watched how you began to waste yourself and your talent. Yet I fell for you a second time, because I know what you’re made of, who you are, and who you could still be if you just allowed yourself. If you’d let me in, I’d stay and help you…but you won’t. My professional advice is that you have to stop destroying yourself. My personal recommendation… Drinking yourself to oblivion, driving your bike at a high-speeds without a helmet, or fucking any anonymous piece of ass isn’t a way of dealing with life, but a sure way to finish it. And it might not happen. You might end up like a vegetable in a hospital bed for fifty years. Think about what either scenario would do to your parents and your siblings.”

I don’t even know for sure if he’s still listening to me because he remains paralyzed to the spot, just in front of his bike. Cold eyes assessing me, his chest rises and falls with each heavy breath he takes. “I won’t be needing your services any longer.” He lashes me with his words. Images of my dying father and my sick sister hit me. “Pick up your shit from my office and my house. I’ll prepare your severance package. Don’t worry about your father. His medical bills are paid and will continued being paid until he dies. The funeral included.”

My heart stops, as the blood running through my veins freezes with those words. My brain wants to beg for my job. I want to fight him, but my mouth remains closed. From everything I had expected he’d say, this was the last thing.

“My image is clean, the record label is running the way it’s supposed to, and I’m implementing the new changes we talked about to create a hybrid company. You’re no longer a needed asset to the company.” He moves around me and hops on his bike. “Since we’re throwing unrequited advice, try living a little. Loosen up your attitude and give up that pursuit of becoming your mother. You can’t save the world. You can’t save me. And I don’t want you around anymore.”

“You were a kid,” I bark, my throat feeling the scratch the loud words created. He starts his bike, twisting the handle to accelerate. I increase the volume of my voice. “You’re not the only one who has suffered a loss or who will lose a loved one. Shoving me out of your life won’t make things better.”

“It will. I should be loyal to my promises.” His voice booms, echoing through the underground garage. Before he speaks again, his eyebrows shoot up, and he reaches for his jacket—his phone. “Hello.”

My heart thunders as his face falls. His blue eyes fill with worry.
Sunny Hills, about your dad,
he mouths, handing me the phone.

“Hello.”

“Ana Walker?”

“Speaking,” I respond trembling.

“Ms. Walker, your father’s condition deteriorated during the night. You should be here. We fear he might leave us soon.”

Daddy
.

The phone goes quiet and I lower my hand to look at it. They hung up. I stare at his phone, cold fear flowing through my veins. Long fingers fight against the tight grasp taking it away.

“Twinkle, we have to go.” The voice whispers in my ear. Jacob’s strong arms gather me and I’m pressed against his rock hard body; making circles on my back, he cradles me for a few minutes before he speaks again. “I can get us there faster on the bike, but only if you can hold on tight to me while I drive. Can you do that?”

After everything he spit at me only minutes ago, he thinks I’m going to jump on the bike with him? I push him away, turn around and head to the elevator.

“Pria. Stop.” He stands next to me, but I choose not to listen to him. “Matthew, I received a call. Fred Walker isn’t doing well.” There’s a long silence “Yes, I’m driving Twinkle. Call everyone, and bring her some clothes when you drive Maeve. Sorry, bro. I know you’re sleep deprived. Thank you.”

“I don’t need you to drive me.” I step inside the elevator.

“Twinkle, you’re not alone,” he says as the elevator moves upward through the floors. “Never alone.”

“Are you listening to your own bullshit right now?” My roar bounces through the glass walls. “Because you just told me to get the fuck out of your life.”