Uncharted (Unexpected Book 3) (12 page)

“You have to talk.” AJ lays snuggled on my right side, Matthew on my left. “It’s been a month since we moved you back home. Five weeks since… This is killing Mattie and me—not only you. The parents are worried. Jacob, it was a freaky accident.”

A freaky accident that killed Mr. Preston and his son. A wife is now a widow and childless because of me—childless like I will be for the rest of my life. I dislocated my testicles, as they collided with the gas tank of the motorcycle. That means I broke my balls. They saved them but I can’t have children. It shouldn’t matter at my age, but it does. My legs will recover, my dick will go up, but I won’t be able to live with myself ever again. I bet my parents paid good money to keep me out of jail. They’re hiding me here in the compound. In fact, the one in trouble with the law must be Jaden Bradley.

“I’m heading back to school, Jacky.” AJ kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back next Thursday night. Promise you’ll talk to me when I’m back.”

I close my eyes and ignore her. She kisses my cheek, hugs me tight, and her side of the bed springs up. She’s been doing this since they moved me back—leaving for Austin Sunday night and coming back on Thursday. Day and night she stays by my side. She pushes my wheelchair around the house, takes me outside to get some air, then to the music room where she plays until I close my eyes, and she brings me back. Matthew rests when she’s here, and as she leaves, he’s the one who takes care of me.

My parents haven’t said much. Maybe it’s because each time they enter my room, I fake that I’m asleep. They think it’s the medication, but I refuse to take any of the painkillers. I’m riding the pain because that’s the least I deserve after everything I did.

“Sorry.” Matthew kisses the top of my head and leaves the bed.

My eyes open to see why he’s leaving and I find my parents looking down at me. Fuck. Neither one has the typical angry face; in fact, both have worried frowns and sad eyes. They take seats on opposite sides of the bed.

“You made a bad choice, babe, but it wasn’t your fault.” Chris squeezes my hand. “I’m thankful that your injuries were minor. That man could’ve killed my son too. His alcohol level was above the limit. There were witnesses that confirmed he came right for you, and you tried your best to avoid him.”

I don’t remember much about how it happened. Only that the motorcycle hydroplaned and I couldn’t control it. My hands shake in anger because if I hadn’t taken what wasn’t mine, or if I had had more experience driving a bike… riding ATVs around the property grounds is very different to driving in the city.

“You’re not off the hook, dude,” Gabe speaks. “We had rules in place. You couldn’t borrow the boat, the bike, the house in Orcas Island…and you broke most of those rules. I’m obviously going to ground you. However, I need my son back in order to be able to do so. It’s impossible to ground a zombie. You’ve got us all worried. Your sister can’t keep coming every weekend. She takes the red-eye back on Sunday to make it on time for her seven o’clock class on Monday. You know her—she won’t stop doing it until she’s convinced you’re doing all right. Think about her health.”

“Take your medication, eat your food, and stop punishing yourself.” Chris kisses my cheek, gives me a hug, and gets ready to leave. “I love you. No matter how much you fuck up, I’m here for you, baby boy. We’re humans, and our mistakes are part of what forges our character; the other part is how we face them and fix what we broke.”

“I love you, baby boy.” Gabe kisses my forehead. “We won’t leave you alone until you come back to us. Take our hand and let us help.”

Tears roll down my cheeks as my parents leave my room. They don’t have nightmares at night. Neither one of them has to worry about making it right for a woman who is now alone for the rest of her life. Asking to remove me from the hospital and bringing me home after the doctor and nurses treated me like a criminal won’t fix it. That blonde nurse told me as I was leaving that I’d be in hell for eternity after what I had done.

Maybe she’s right. I killed two people. I left a woman a widow. Pria probably thinks I don’t love her—we can’t have that cookie cutter life I promised her now. What is the point of carrying on? Why bother? I look at my nightstand where the medication sits, waiting for me to take it. With my good hand I reach out and swallow the contents. All of the contents. This is better for everyone.

Four days after I ingested enough pain medication to die, I have to open my fucking mouth. AJ’s coming home and they’re planning on telling her what happened Sunday night.

“Please don’t tell her,” I speak up. My parents and Matthew stare at me. “She’ll defer so she can come and watch me like a hawk. That’s not fair to AJ.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Christian walks to my bed and gives me that glare of doom. “Only if you start doing what you’re supposed to. If your sister thinks you’re not getting better, she’ll learn that you swallowed an entire bottle of painkillers, and that if I hadn’t gone back and checked on you, you’d be dead right now.” He runs a hand through his hair and tears begin to cascade from his green eyes. “Do you have any fucking idea how that felt? My son OD’d. Everything can be fixed. Except death. I almost lost you—twice within just weeks.”

“No, and I’ll never know, because I can’t have children,” I scream at him, my throat burning, my face heated with anger. “You don’t get anything. They died because of me. Both. The man might’ve been drunk, but if I hadn’t been there, his son wouldn’t be dead. That was an innocent kid.”

I shake with anger. Anger at them. Anger at myself. Anger at life. At everything.

“That gives you the right to take away my child?” Gabe’s harsh question makes me react. “You mean the world to us. When something happens to you or your siblings, it hurts. You might think this is yours only, but from the moment we received that call, we’ve been crying and hurting too. Our son almost died and now our son almost killed himself. What do you think that would’ve done to us? To Mattie? Think about that sweet baby sister you’re always trying so hard to protect.”

I gulp as I see my father crying, turning red with anger, but his blue eyes are two puddles of grief.

“That would kill us, dude.” Matthew gives me a sad stare. He slaps his chest. “Here. This is where it hurts.”

“Let us help you,” Chris orders, the same way he used to do when we were little and we believed we could do everything by ourselves. “Please, Jacky.”

I finally give them a nod rather than saying words I know would be lies.

“How long are you going to be here?” I catch the ball AJ throws at me. Physical therapy sucks. My therapist does less than my sister, who hovers during my sessions and then takes over. “Because I’m starting to hate you a little.”

“The second week of January.” She smiles. We’re lounging in the pool. My physical therapist makes me work hard for two hours and then sends me to swim for a half hour. AJ arrived today just in time to dive in. She went to the shelves to bring over every old pool toy we owned to use them for her personal therapy session with me. “That’s in about six weeks. I made a few deals with my teachers and they advanced my final tests. Before I leave, you’ll be running. How’s your schoolwork? Why don’t we ask your therapist to come four days a week, and Matthew and I can take over the other three days?”

“Slow down, AJ.”

Then I shrug because she has the
I’m on a mission
face. Including those green eyes giving me the hardened gaze, and her furrowing brow imitating our fathers when they’re being bossy. Nothing will stop my sister, or my family. They would try to pull me out of the ditch no matter what I said. The school was on board the “helping Jacob Decker” train. My parents were able to work things out with the dean and let my brother and I finish our senior year from home. Matthew and I have been taking classes via Skype. We send in our assignments daily, and they replace the tests with more homework. Chris is making us work for the recording studio from home too. Our stuff has been moved from Seattle back to the compound. The decision to close down the apartment came after they found the razors I’d bought from the Internet. Another failed attempt to finish this farce. Chris put the apartment up for sale. They won’t make it easy for us to head back there—or anywhere. I can’t have any access to any of the money, either. Not until I can prove that my mental stability is back to normal.

“If I say no, will you listen?” She shakes her head. “Then go ahead, as long as you stop coming over every weekend. Love to see you, but you’re going to end up sick. Oh, and you have to agree on being part of JAM CD, LLC; our music creations incorporation.”

“Porter—”

“I don’t give a fucking shit about Porter.” I use the gravelly voice she doesn’t defy as much. Plus, I know that right now is all about making me happy. “Is he spending Christmas with us? Because if he is, I’ll talk to him.”

She shakes her head. “He has a lot of concerts booked from December to March. Hey, remember that time when I called you and you were with a girl?”

“I think so.”

“Did you lose your virginity?” I nod once. “Was it…good? Meaningful?”

“AJ, if you’re not ready, don’t do it.” Redirecting is my new tactic; if I don’t want to discuss it, I angle the conversation toward them. “Each person is different. Is he pressuring you?”

She shakes her head and smiles. “He’ll wait forever. Our relationship isn’t about sex. But we’ll be each other’s first.”

I remain neutral because I know that Porter had sex before he started dating my sister. However, that isn’t my business. Same as Pria isn’t hers. I’m confused by how to feel about everything. That fucking week meant so much to me that I made so many mistakes since to try to reach my star. Nothing worked, and I’ve become this sad character who hates most days. My hollow chest misses the beating of her heart. My Twinkle.

“Let’s do it, Jacob. Start our musical venture. If that’s what it takes for you to come back to life, then we’ll do it. Now catch me.”

AJ, who loves water more than anything in the world, starts swimming toward the other end of the pool. I take a deep breath and begin to make my way. Every kick and every arm stroke is a challenge, but for my family I will come to terms with the pain and myself, and find a way to continue. My heart is broken, though. I miss my girl more than anything else, but I would never deserve her now, even if I did manage to find her.

PRIA

“Are you sure it is here?” Maeve questions as I ring the doorbell to his apartment. “Because nobody is answering and it’s been ten minutes.”

My sister and I convinced Mom to let us go out for the day. Only because we’re buying a few things she needs for the Christmas cookie bake-off she’s having with our neighbor across the street. We detoured and ended up in downtown Seattle, right in front of the building where Jacob lives. This is crazy, but my heart doesn’t believe he just wouldn’t call. He promised he’d call, that he’d miss me. Crazier than me being here was buying him a black T-shirt I found on sale at the store where I work. His Christmas present. It says “You’re my star.” I’m such an idiot. But the memories of him keep rushing around my head every night while I stare up at the sky.