Unbroken Pleasures (13 page)

“I’m sorry,
Adam, this was obviously a mistake.”

I made my way to
the front door without waiting for a reply. Sylvia’s foolproof plan had
backfired on me in a major way and I could barely see where I was going through
the wall of tears that threatened to spill over. I took a deep breath when the
fresh outdoor air hit me and welcomed the breeze. I needed to make my way to
the car and then everything would be okay I assured myself.

“Alex, wait,”
Adam said. I didn’t dare turn to look at him. I couldn’t risk further
humiliation, “This isn’t over.” He caught my arm and spun me around to look at
him again but I turned my head and looked at the line of houses across the
street instead. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

I felt my blood
begin to boil. Why couldn’t he just let go of me and let me walk away? He had
to add insult to injury by telling me what? That he still wanted to see me even
though he’d just touched me and pushed me away like that?

“I can make you
forget him,” he continued when I refused to respond.

“You were right.
I should go.”

“I would drag
you back in there, take you upstairs, and make you forget him right now if I
could.”

“It doesn’t
matter.”

“But my mother
and my sister are coming over for lunch.”

I stopped and
looked at him. He let go of my arm with a satisfied smile when he saw the look
of surprise in my eyes. As usual, my timing had been completely off.

“I’m so sorry,”
I said looking down at my feet as I realized the awkward position I’d just put
him in, “I shouldn’t have showed up here like this. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,
Alex,” he said pulling me against his chest again and kissing me softly, “I’m
not.”

I swallowed hard
and tried to clear the thoughts swarming my mind. It felt like utter chaos in
there.

“You’re not mad
at me?” was all I managed to say.

“Of course not. I
know you’re confused and you’re still holding on to pieces of him but I’m determined
to help you get past that. We can take this slow like we talked about last
night or we can jump in feet first. I’m ready.”

“I should go.”

“I will call you
tonight.”

“Okay.”

He reached down
and brushed his fingers against my lips before kissing them again. “I wish that
I could take you back into my house right now.”

“I’m glad you
aren’t angry with me.”

“How could I be
angry with a beautiful half naked woman?” He laughed lightly and I felt my
cheeks blush.

By the time we
said goodbye and I found my way back to my car, I knew my feelings for Adam
were changing but I didn’t know how exactly. A part of me looked forward to
seeing him again, whenever that may be, and I was relieved that he didn’t
harbor any resentments toward me after what happened the previous night at the
restaurant. I smiled a little when I thought about the way his eyes filled with
lust when he looked at me in the special bra and skirt that Sylvia had picked
out for me. I wondered what might have happened if he didn’t have the prospect of
lunch with his mother and sister looming in the near future. I wondered how it
would have felt to be naked in his arms and then despite all my efforts not to,
I wondered how it would compare to the night I’d spent with Reese.

Chapter 12

I braced myself
when I picked up the phone. I knew Sylvia would demand all the
between-the-sheets details with Adam and I hated to disappoint her again.

“How are things
in Love Land?” I asked as soon as I answered in an attempt to steer the
conversation away from Adam and me and focus on her and Ben instead. She
laughed nervously. I knew she was still reluctant to accept the fact that she
was capable of having actual feelings for a member of the opposite sex.

“I don’t think
he wants to be my boyfriend anymore than I really want him to be,” she said.

“Why do you say
that?”

“I think he has
a date tonight. With someone else.”

“Are you sure
about that?” I was genuinely shocked by this sudden revelation. I thought for
sure after watching the two of them together that Ben wanted more than anything
to secure a more permanent status in Sylvia’s life. It didn’t make sense that
he would suddenly drop her for another girl. Could it be possible that Sylvia
had actually been right all along?

“Pretty sure. I
was at the mall this morning and I ran into Janie. She said she heard that Ben
was going out with Amy tonight. I didn’t believe it but when I called Ben, he
told me he had other plans and he couldn’t see me. He wouldn’t tell me why but
he doesn’t have to.”

“It might not be
what you think. Maybe Amy is just a friend?” I knew I was grasping at straws
but I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Ben wasn’t totally in
love with Sylvia the way I thought he was and more than anything, I hated to
see Sylvia get hurt, especially when I was the one to push her in that
direction in the first place. I didn’t need her broken heart on my conscience
anymore than I wanted my own broken heart. Why did life have to be so
complicated and confusing? I didn’t know what to say to make things right.

“Give it up,
Alex. He’s not that into me and you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m better
off. Life was a lot better before I had to start worrying about maintaining a
relationship. I’m going back to my carefree ways.”

“Oh, Sylvia,
don’t give up hope. The right guy will come along.”

“You don’t get
it, do you, Alex? I don’t want the right guy. I’m not sitting around pining for
Prince Charming to come sweep me off my feet like you are. I’m more than happy
to just live my life and have some fun and to me, that’s all guys are - fun.
I’m a lot better off.”

“You don’t mean
that.”

“Actually, I do.
I’m happy that he’s seeing Amy. I’m happy that I found out about it. It’s a
relief and I’ve already moved on. I’m seeing someone else tonight and that will
probably be the end of things with Ben.”

“Okay,” I said
even though I wasn’t convinced that she really meant what she said. She was
hurting in her own way. She just didn’t know how to admit it. She was trying to
convince herself that she was better off without him but I knew as well as she
did that she was really hoping that this guy would turn out different. I hated
that he had disappointed her, and so early in the relationship as well.

“Anyway, enough
about that. It’s old news and I’m getting bored talking about him. I want to
know what happened with Adam. So, it worked, right? You had him at your mercy
and begging for more, right?”

“Well, not
exactly,” I said slowly.

“You didn’t go
through with it, did you?” I could hear the disappointment in her voice and I
wondered if it was because she was still living vicariously through me. Did she
want things to work out with Adam for the same reasons that I had wanted things
to work out for her with Ben because for some strange reason, we felt less
hopeless if our best friend managed to find happiness in a world where we felt
that we would never find it for ourselves?

“I tried.”

“What do you
mean that you tried? Either you did it or not and if you did, there is no way
in this world that he could turn you away. You’re hot stuff, Alex, and he’s a
red-blooded man. He likes you. He’d be crazy to turn you away. So what
happened? Why didn’t you follow the plan? That was our deal. I let my damn
heart get trampled by some loser who never deserved it in the first place and
you were supposed to offer yourself up to Adam.”

“I was going to
chicken out,” I admitted, “but even though I had cold feet going in, I went
through with it anyway. Well, eventually, and I am pretty sure that he liked
what he saw just like you promised that he would. The only problem was that his
mother and sister were on their way over for lunch. Talk about awkward. Just
imagine if I’d shown up a little later and interrupted lunch. I would have been
so embarrassed. He did kiss me rather passionately though and he promised we’d
finish where we left off later.”

“Ohhhh…” Sylvia said
almost purring the word. Apparently, I’d managed to describe my not-so-erotic
encounter in such a way that pleased her. That made me smile a little.

“He’s not mad at
me after what happened last night so I’m relieved about that and he’s going to call
me later so we can arrange our next date. Looks like there might be hope for me
after all.”

“Oh, Alex, I
can’t begin to tell you how happy I am to hear this. I was so worried about
you, especially after that whole weird thing with you and the creep from the
rain. I’m glad you’re settling with a nice, normal man.”

“Creep? He
wasn’t a creep.” I knew I should let it pass but I defended him before my
better senses kicked in. Reese hadn’t been a creep. So, it was a little weird
how I ran into him and the fact that I invited him back to my home afterward
may not constitute as normal or sane even by Sylvia’s standards, but that
didn’t mean that he was anything less than what I could have imagined in my wildest
fantasies. Just thinking about him again was enough to make my pulse quicken.

“Whatever.” I
could almost hear her roll her eyes when she said it. It wasn’t a secret that
she didn’t think much of Reese or my one-time experience with him. I felt heavy
in my heart when I remembered that I’d never see the guy again.

“Reese wasn’t a
creep,” I said again even though I knew it wouldn’t do any good at changing her
mind to say it. I think I just needed to hear the words out loud. It made me
feel less bad about what had happened that night. It may have only been a week
ago but it already felt like a lifetime.

“Forget him.
You’ve got Adam and you’re not going to screw this up. So, I bet you he wants
to see you again pretty soon.”

“Maybe.”

“And you’re
going to say yes, right?” Sylvia could hear the doubt in my voice. I wondered
if she’d been testing me by bringing Reese into the conversation. She detected
something when I talked about the encounter with the stranger which neither of
us could quite define. He wasn’t just some man that I met on the street. There
was something so much more and given half a chance, I think she knew as I well
as I did that I’d jump at the opportunity to find out what was so special about
him.

“I will most
likely see him again,” I agreed. I tried to mask the reluctance in my voice
even though in my head I was screaming that I only wanted to see Reese.

“Alexandra?”

“What?”

“Promise me that
you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I don’t know
what you’re talking about, Sylvia. I thought you liked Adam.”

“You know what
I’m talking about.”

“I have no
idea,” I lied.

“No more late
night strolls and absolutely, positively no more strangers in your house. Is
that clear?”

“Yes, mother.”

“I’m serious
about this. It really freaks me out that you did … that. I still can’t wrap my
head around it.”

“I know, Sylvia.
I know. It’s not going to happen again.” But I wanted it to. I wanted it more
than anything. I wanted it even more than I was willing to admit to myself and
I think she knew it.

“He’s going to
come back again,” Sylvia said.

“Don’t be
ridiculous. Why would you say that?”

“Why wouldn’t
he? You basically offered up every man’s fantasy.”

I could barely catch
my breath. I could imagine him knocking on my door, taking me in his arms, and giving
in to every promise we’d silently made to each other that night. Did I dare to
believe it was a possibility?

“No, he made it
clear enough last night and even if he changed his mind, who cares? He was with
another woman. I couldn’t be with him again knowing that he might be cheating
on a girlfriend,” I swallowed hard, “or a wife.”

“Just keep
reminding yourself that you have Adam now and Adam can offer you things that a
guy like that will never even dream of.”

I wasn’t
convinced but I agreed anyway. I already had a taste of what Reese could offer
me and it was enough to make me breathless with desire at the mere thought.
Adam had kissed me and touched me this afternoon and I’d almost forgotten the
experience as quickly as it had happened. This didn’t bode well for a great
romance. I was still willing to give it a try but the more I thought about it,
the more I wasn’t convinced that Adam would be the one. Maybe after my
experience with the stranger, no one would ever be the one?

She did have a
point, I decided as I hung up the phone. I would never be the sort of girl to
chase after more than one guy at a time. I’d basically committed myself to
something with Adam, even if I was still a little confused about what exactly
that was. Things with Reese would never have worked out.

I opened the
refrigerator reluctant to what I might find growing inside and realized that I
would have to pay an afternoon visit to the local grocery store. The only ones
with any food in the house were Edgar, Allen, and Poe. I sprinkled a bit of
their fish food into the aquarium and watched them gobble it up eagerly. Their
lives were so much less complicated than mine. Some days I wondered what it
would like to be a fish and spend my days just swimming around and waiting for
the big food drop from the sky. I scribbled out a quick list, changed into
jeans and a t-shirt suitable for an outing and decided to get shopping over and
done with.

Standing in the
middle of the produce aisle trying to decide between cantaloupes, I was
startled when a voice said my name and a hand touched my shoulder. I turned
around to find myself face to face with exactly the man that had broken my best
friend’s heart.

“Ben,” I said
nearly dropping the two cantaloupes that I’d been comparing. I managed to
safely return one cantaloupe to the display stack and put the other in my
shopping cart, “What are you doing here?”